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Originally Posted by Larry Gude  My brother is gay. That's not 'normal'. Normal is heterosexual. Normal is white. Normal is get married, 2.2 kids, two cars, a house, a back yard, BBQ's on the weekend. Normal is sit in traffic to go to a job. Normal is two weeks vacation a year. Normal is kids playing soccer. Normal is listening to bad music and watching bad TV.
Reality is matters of degree of all those things. Normal is simply what is most common. Not an absolute.
My brother IS gay. It's not a disease. He didn't choose what turns him on. He isn't acting out some sort of issues. It's not something in need of a cure anymore than you liking a flavor of ice cream I don't like or you liking red heads and me liking blondes or you liking tall and skinny and me liking short and a great butt. Sexual preference is just that. When we were kids and looking at dads Playboys in the basement, I was looking at boobs and he was looking at the male models. That's just the way it is.
The simple fact that anyone opposes gay marriage indicates a disagreement with the personal choices someone makes. That they are ill. That they don't really feel that way. That there is something wrong with them. That they are less. Not as worthy. A problem.
I think people that spend 2 hours a day in traffic are mentally ill. I think people that watch American Idle need help. I think people that feel trapped and constrained and miserable with their lives should try to make it better, try to pursue happiness as they see fit. As long as they are taking care of their responsibilities, paying their bills, not violating someone else's rights, I could not care less how they define it how they go about it.
For whatever reasons, this is a very emotional and threatening thing for some people. You have to reconcile that and deal with your own fears and desires to limit what others can or can't do. How two queers getting married and living happy lives together injures you is for you to figure out.  |
This answers a lot as to why you've repeatedly accused my opinions on this subject as being bigotted. I'm sure that the cruelty of others growing up and probably even today has been brutal and has made you instantly defensive of your brother and that which makes him up.
In no small part the conversations on these boards has adjusted my opinion on homosexuality. Most of what changed my opinion has been reading things I wrote originally months after I wrote it. I disgusted myself.
I do still feel that homosexuality is a physical impairment, a chemical inbalance, whatever. Due to Nature, God, evolution, or whatever you believe, the only way to procreate is through intercourse with the opposite gender. Strongly desiring to NOT do that would not forward the species. You describe it as not "normal". Being born blind is not a sin, being born a dwarf is not a sin, being born a genius is not a sin, and none of them are "normal". Most would consider being born blind a handicap, a disability. Same with being born a dwarf, and (for me) being born homosexual. I do think that it is physical, not just a "choice".
My range of desires also reaches out much further than "in the dark in the missionary position for procreation only", as the stereotype of fundamental Christian sexual doctrine would have people believe. Am I "abnormal"? I don't know and I don't care. I don't care what your brother does, and I don't care what you and Vrai do. None of that effects me or mine unless you're with me or mine.
The Bible has some very clear indications of what is considered a sin, but it also has some very clear indications of who should judge the sin, and what compassion and forgiveness and tolerance are all about. This is to say that I neither judge your brother nor anyone else like him.
However, I do have an obligation in my voting on questions/issues to consider what's good for society in general. I don't think polygamy is good for society in general, so I would not allow codifying polygamy. Same with incest. Same with diluting the meaning of the word "marriage", and it's stabilizing, generally advantageous effects it has on society.
Again, I hope your brother is with someone he loves, loves him, and they make each other very happy. I wish them nothing but a smooth road on their travels in life. I think they should celebrate their life together with friends and family. But, I think calling their life together a "marriage" is like calling an apple an orange - it's not, and shouldn't be called that. It's a union of two people and deserves no less respect than that. A "civil union" law should provide them all of the amenities a marriage license provides you and Vrai, and provides me and my wife - as well as all of the responsibilities. A Ford and a Chevy are both trucks, like our unions are all unions. But, let's call a Ford a Ford, and a Chevy a Chevy.