Help Me Please!!!!

M

Mousebaby

Guest
I have been through this with my oldest son for several years now. He was diagnosed with ADHD in the 5th grade and has been medicated since. His grades are TERRIBLE!!! We know he does not have a learning disability as we have had him tested up one side and down the other. We know the medication is doing what it's supposed to be doing because if it weren't he would be totally out of control. We have begged, cried, screamed, yelled, grounded, removed all his electronics from his room and have even busted his tail on the occasion for these grades. I know he is capable, even his teachers know he is capable. He just doesn't do his work! What am I doing wrong??? We are at our wits end!! I cannot just sit here and watch this child throw his life away with both hands! We keep telling him, this is not a game anymore, this is serious, you are in high school, no one is going to hold your hand, you have to do it on your own! It's time to grow up! It's done no good to tell him any of this. Please somebody help me, I am so tired of this and I am so sick of being sick. :bawl:

TIA!
 
P

Pandora

New Member
Mouse,

There are SOooo many parents in your boat. Hopefully they will come along and offer some advice.

Have you taken all social outlets away from him?
 
BlackSheep

BlackSheep

New Member
Mousebaby said:
I have been through this with my oldest son for several years now. He was diagnosed with ADHD in the 5th grade and has been medicated since. His grades are TERRIBLE!!! We know he does not have a learning disability as we have had him tested up one side and down the other. We know the medication is doing what it's supposed to be doing because if it weren't he would be totally out of control. We have begged, cried, screamed, yelled, grounded, removed all his electronics from his room and have even busted his tail on the occasion for these grades. I know he is capable, even his teachers know he is capable. He just doesn't do his work! What am I doing wrong??? We are at our wits end!! I cannot just sit here and watch this child throw his life away with both hands! We keep telling him, this is not a game anymore, this is serious, you are in high school, no one is going to hold your hand, you have to do it on your own! It's time to grow up! It's done no good to tell him any of this. Please somebody help me, I am so tired of this and I am so sick of being sick. :bawl:

TIA!
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He's in high school?????????? :faint: :huggy:
 
M

Mousebaby

Guest
Yes, we have. He is basically allowed to interact with his family and that is it! He has nothing in his room but books. He has no phone, no tv, no computer (unless its for schoolwork), no video games, and no contact with friends. The thing is, we have done this before and made him earn each thing back one at a time and we would pick what he got back. We saved his favorite for last. He can do this punishment standing on his head! It doesn't seem to phase him at all! I just don't know what else to do. :bawl:
 
W

wineo

loving life
Try calling the Parents Place. I'll PM you in the morning all the contact info. I don't have here at home. They will be able to help you. Does he go to Spring Ridge? They have a after school homework session sponsered by Tri County Youth Service Bureau, call them too. There is a lot of help out there you just need to know the contacts. GO to stmarysnetworkofcare.org and try and locate some agencies listed there.
Hope this helps.
 
morganj614

morganj614

New Member
Have you tried good rewards instead of negative ones? Kind of late now....

Military service will fix him right up
 
M

Mousebaby

Guest
Thanks Wineo, he is actually in Great Mills High. I would take any help I can get. My mother is no help, all she can do is tell me what a bad parent I am! :rolleyes: So like I said, I will take any good advice! :huggy:
 
M

Mousebaby

Guest
morganj614 said:
Have you tried good rewards instead of negative ones? Kind of late now....

Military service will fix him right up
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Yes, actually we have tried rewarding him for his good grades. In fact I have tried concentrating on the good ones and not even saying anything about the bad ones. But what can you do when they're ALL bad? :shrug:
 
oldman

oldman

Lobster Land
I'm no expert by any means but there are people in this world that just do not get anything out of book learning. Might a tech school be of interest to him where he could learn a profession hands on? I know of no parent that doesn't want their children to get all the school learning possible but I had two that quit before graduation. It just wasn't their bag for whatever reason. Both have learned trades and seem to be very happy with their lives now. Just a thought :flowers:
 
W

wineo

loving life
Really go to stmarysnetworkofcare.org. You can type in a keyword or listed by agency. It is the Community Resource Guide online. You would be surprised at all that is available. Pretty cool site. Glad to be of help. I'll pm you with more in the morning. Good luck
 
vraiblonde

vraiblonde

Board Mommy
PREMO Member
Patron
Can I just say something here?

Why can't a kid be a kid without their parents thinking something is "wrong" with them? BFD, he'd rather goof around than study and do his schoolwork - boy, is THAT some new thing nobody's ever heard of before. :rolleyes:

Mouse, my son's grades were dismal in middle and high school. He barely passed and I always wondered if the only reason he did is because his teachers didn't want to mess with him anymore. :lol: Today he is a fine 24 year old, with a military tour behind him, a great career, a little wife and a home of their own. Not to mention my granddog and grandkitten.

So chill. Some kids are :nerd: schoolwork people and some :larry: aren't. Keep after him to some extent but don't kirk out about it.

And I'd love to know why practically every boy in this country is "ADHD" and on meds????
 
M

Mousebaby

Guest
oldman said:
I'm no expert by any means but there are people in this world that just do not get anything out of book learning. Might a tech school be of interest to him where he could learn a profession hands on? I know of no parent that doesn't want their children to get all the school learning possible but I had two that quit before graduation. It just wasn't their bag for whatever reason. Both have learned trades and seem to be very happy with their lives now. Just a thought :flowers:
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Thanks, I have talked to him about that. But I have also told him that that is all he will be able to do if he doesn't get those grades up. He talks about having nice cars and a big house and stuff like that and I told him without College a lot of those things are going to be totally out of reach! I have also pointed out that even with a college education that it has taken my husband 22 yrs. to get to where he is now, it doesn't happen over night and it certainly won't happen if you don't graduate high school! Am I wrong to put this kind of pressure on him at 14??? My mother thinks I am being to hard on him. I just don't know what to think. :bawl:
 
W

wineo

loving life
Because it is the best way for Dr.s to keep them calm. GO figure. Give them drugs and they will act normal? Kids are kids and slack sometimes with school, but if it is causing him to fail then you need to address that issue of why he dosen't want to do the work or what would help to make him more interested in getting it done and then having fun. Just my thoughts.
 
morganj614

morganj614

New Member
Kids way back in the day didn't have ADHD because they were outside running, playing, being creative and spending their energy..:blahblah: ADHD is a term for the butt sitting video generation.

Bad grades are not 'the end'. All kids get a clue sooner or later. Yours might be later is all.
 
P

Pandora

New Member
vraiblonde said:
And I'd love to know why practically every boy in this country is "ADHD" and on meds????
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Cuz they are all PITA. :shrug:

Actually, it is because the teachers do not move as fast as TV and video games so they tend to glaze over in class and get bored.

Vrai,

My oldest was tested and has an above average IQ. He gets straight A's on all his test, but because they factor a little issue in there called "homework" it brings down his grade, one or two letters. I just am having a hard time accepting grades below a C. If you cannot at least do average work, then as a parent, I'm not thinking he is getting the material.

I enrolled my son into college this summer that deals with organization and test taking skills.
 
vraiblonde

vraiblonde

Board Mommy
PREMO Member
Patron
Mousebaby said:
it certainly won't happen if you don't graduate high school!
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A lady I know (the mother of Larry's best friend) has three boys and not a high school graduate in the bunch. One is now an aquatic engineer, another is a doctor, and the youngest works at Los Alamos on nuclear stuff. Screwed around, got their GEDs, screwed around some more, then got serious about life once they knew what they were interested in doing.

Keep on him, but relax. There is more than one path to success.
 
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