Advice needed

Athena1078 · Sep 2, 2003

So my friend Chad is getting married in October. I have been friends with him for 3 years, nothing ever happened between us or anything, so just friends. Anyways, his fiance and I are totally opposites, as are her friends and I. So for the night of the Bachelor / Bachelorette parties, it has been assumed that I would be going out with the guys. I don't know any of the girls, except for the bride ( I have met her 2 times). I feel more comfortable going out with the guys, as I already know most of them, and like hanging out with them. However, last weekend, the bride got minorly upset that I wasn't going out with the bachelorette party. I really don't want to, but don't want to make her mad at me..

mainman · Sep 2, 2003

Originally posted by Athena1078
So my friend Chad is getting married in October. I have been friends with him for 3 years, nothing ever happened between us or anything, so just friends. Anyways, his fiance and I are totally opposites, as are her friends and I. So for the night of the Bachelor / Bachelorette parties, it has been assumed that I would be going out with the guys. I don't know any of the girls, except for the bride ( I have met her 2 times). I feel more comfortable going out with the guys, as I already know most of them, and like hanging out with them. However, last weekend, the bride got minorly upset that I wasn't going out with the bachelorette party. I really don't want to, but don't want to make her mad at me..

Do you plan on stripping at the party? :shrug:

crabcake · Sep 2, 2003

If I were a guy at that bachelor party, I might be a bit uncomfortable with a chic there. :ohwell:

just my opinion. guys do 'interesting' things at those events. having a chic there might make them feel like they are being spied on by the "other side." :really:

are any guys going to the bachelorette party? :shrug:

Sharon · Sep 2, 2003

Make the bride happy and go to the girlie party, then cut out early and hook up with the guys. :cheers:

crabcake · Sep 2, 2003

Originally posted by Sharon
Make the bride happy and go to the girlie party, then cut out early and hook up with the guys.

they'll be all drunk by then and you can get some really good dirt on 'em! :really:

Kyle · Sep 2, 2003

Originally posted by crabcake
If I were a guy at that bachelor party, I might be a bit uncomfortable with a chic there. just my opinion. guys do 'interesting' things at those events. having a chic there might make them feel like they are being spied on by the "other side."

are any guys going to the bachelorette party? :shrug:

A bunch of guys, drunk, at a bachelor party don't get inhibited by much. Her presence might be a disappointment when she doesn't strip but I doubt they'd be uncomfortable.

BullDawg · Sep 2, 2003

Just remember, what happens at the bachelor party stays at the bachelor party.

I think the guys may be uncomfortable with you there, but the bride should be happy - your presence should keep things under control.

vraiblonde · Sep 2, 2003

I vote go to the bachelorette party and make nice with the bride. Don't be the first person to cut out and DON'T go hook up with the guys. This is not about your good time - you can do that any day of the week.

Otter · Sep 2, 2003

Originally posted by vraiblonde
I vote go to the bachelorette party and make nice with the bride. Don't be the first person to cut out and DON'T go hook up with the guys. This is not about your good time - you can do that any day of the week.

In a perfect world, it wouldn't matter if you went to the bachelor party of your buddy...but it isn't a perfect world, go to the bacelorette party if you go anywhere. Don't go near the bachelor party.

Dymphna · Sep 2, 2003

Originally posted by vraiblonde
I vote go to the bachelorette party and make nice with the bride. Don't be the first person to cut out and DON'T go hook up with the guys. This is not about your good time - you can do that any day of the week.

It's not about you.

And personally, I don't think chicks belong at the bachelor party, unless they are waitresses or the entertainment. Even a tame party. My husband is planning a party for a friend that involves a boat and fish. Guys don't like to talk about it, but it's a male bonding thing. Female presence detracts from that, no matter how good of friends you are.

Suck it up and do the fro-fro chick thing, even if it isn't your scene. It'll improve your friendship with your guy friend if you make an honest attempt to get along with the wife. If you hang out with the guys it'll create jealousy (even if she doesn't suspect a sexual thing, she can be jealous of the friendship). If the wife is jealous, the guy will either have to back off from being your friend or else blow his marriage.

Sharon · Sep 2, 2003

Originally posted by cmcdanal

And personally, I don't think chicks belong at the bachelor party, unless they are waitresses or the entertainment.

I agree. I wouldn't want to be there. I just figured Athena would go no matter what we said. :biggrin:

JabbaJawz · Sep 2, 2003

Definitely go with the girls. A girl at a guy's Bachelor party isn't cool, regardless of how good of friends you are with him. Unless it's one big unisex gathering, you gotta go with the girls.

crabcake · Sep 2, 2003

Originally posted by Sharon
I agree. I wouldn't want to be there. I just figured Athena would go no matter what we said.

Is this the same guy (ex-boyfriend ??) you were talking about that wanted you in his wedding or something? :shrug:

JabbaJawz · Sep 2, 2003

Originally posted by crabcake

Is this the same guy (ex-boyfriend ??) you were talking about that wanted you in his wedding or something? :shrug:

No - see the first post - she said he was just a friend. :wink:

migtig · Sep 2, 2003

Hey Athena - ya know I have guy friends. I have driven their arses to strip joints and not even thought twice about it. However, I would NOT attend a bachelor party. As much male bonding that I do, and as much as I have in common with my guy friends who have never even seen me as a piece of arse, there are just some times and some things that the guys just need to do without me. And that's one of them (having name writing contests in the snow is another one). If I was invited to the bachelorette party I would attend that and have a good time. Now you can contribute to the success of the bachelor party if you so choose, by giving his best man some money to be spent on drinks/strippers, etc. Otherwise, it is one of those BYOD things. JMO

crabcake · Sep 2, 2003

okay, well, still, like someone else said, if you aren't the entertainment, it's not your place to be there. Now, if you are looking for a few extra bucks on the side, by all means ... But it's not all about you, so don't risk causing a scene or a problem and raining on someone else's parade when it really is all about them.

if you want to be nice to the guys since you are friends with them, pre-arrange to buy them a round of drinks or a bottle of something and have it in their limo or wherever they are going to be partying. :wink:

Kain99 · Sep 2, 2003

Athena, honey.... You really need to develop some attachments to "available" men! You're always twisted over some guy who is in love with someone else.

Do not go to the Bachelor Party! That's just wrong. If you hate the girls simply skip the Bachelorette party.

Go watch the sunset somewhere. You need to clear your head. :wink:

crabcake · Sep 2, 2003

Originally posted by Kain99
Athena, honey.... You really need to develop some attachments to "available" men! You're always twisted over some guy who is in love with someone else.

get (your own) life so that it can be "all about you" too someday.

:wink:

Athena1078 · Sep 2, 2003

I am just friends with all the guys goin to the bachelor party. I have done this before with the same group of guys, when I didn't know the bride at all. I don't need to worry about jealousy with the bride. She knows he and I are just friends, even told me to leave the Bridal shower early this coming Sat so I can go to Hot Import Nights with him in Baltimore. I do have attachments to available men, they are just guys I wouldn't date, hence we are just friends, otherwise, we would be in relationships.
Out of the 6 guys going, including the groom, all of them have asked me to go with them, they aren't doing strip joints or anything, just downtown Annapolis. I was thinking about going with the Bachelorette Party to the coffee house for the first 1 hour so, then when they leave to go back to the house to do the facials thing, I would join up with the guys. Sorry, but I really don't do the girlie thing that well. She and I do get along well, and she is great, I just feel that I may be out of place with her and her friends if I were to join them.

Kain99 · Sep 2, 2003

The bride plans to spend her Bachelorette Party doing facials? OMG! :biggrin:

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