I would definitely start looking for daycare NOW. A lot of places seem to have long waiting lists for infant daycare, so the sooner you are on that list the better. Most places seem to accept infants starting at 6 weeks. If you or your husband is military, civil service or a contractor you can check out the on-base daycare. They offer both center and home care options. (
https://qol.navyaims.net/CYPWeb/Web/Home/Home.aspx)
There have been several threads posted here asking about daycare options, you might search through the archives and check them out. KDenise posted a good link that lists all of the licensed child care providers. Go through the forums here and check out opinions. Most people seem pretty good about "My kids are with this person because I like this" or "I removed my kids from this person's care because of this".
I've heard it's best to choose a daycare close to where you work as opposed to one that is close to your home.
Most daycares start accepting infants at 6 weeks. Depending on where you work you should get at least 12 weeks of unpaid FMLA leave. That's something I would check with your employer as soon as possible. Some companies are awesome and offer paid maternity leave as well.
I would start now! Babies are EXPENSIVE! (I actually just finished doing a "Cost Analysis" project on the cost for one of my grad school classes, haha) Start now and it spreads the expense over the next couple months. Plus you have time to scope out all of the really good sales. Many places have a one-YEAR return policy on baby items (unused, tags attached with receipt) so if you do end up finding a better deal later you can return it where you bought it (though it will probably be just for store credit).
Baby showers are nice but I really wouldn't depend on them to provide everything you think you will need. Rough economic times, people are a lot more prone to buying things like clothes and the smaller items. Any big ticket items (cribs, dressers, changing tables, swings... anything over $50 really) I would expect to purchase yourself.
Some of the more expensive stuff, like furniture, you can pick up second hand and give it a new life. CraigsList (
craigslist: southern maryland classifieds for jobs, apartments, personals, for sale, services, community, and events) always has tons of baby things listed. The classifieds here also have baby things, I believe.
You'll definitely want to purchase new car seats. Car seats are apparently only rated for one accident and "expire" after 5 or so years. You can never really be sure what you're getting second hand!
Target and Babies R Us have baby registries and they will provide a "necessities" list. Most of the stuff on there is NOT a necessity, but it will give you a really good idea of where to start.
Relax, don't get too overwhelmed. Selling baby products is a HUGE market and 99% of what is available you don't NEED. It's just cool. You will NEED diapers and blankets to start with. In terms of bare necessities, I think that's probably pretty close to it. Everything else is just neat to have.
A lot of stuff your baby just won't like. If you go look at mommy forums half of them will say "My baby LOVED the swing. Couldn't live without it!" and the other half will say "My baby HATED the swing. They preferred a bouncy chair!"
A suggestion: Swings, bouncy chairs, etc? Go yardsaling or check out Craigs List. Those things are stupidly expensive to purchase new. Especially with the risk that your kiddo will hate them and never use them.
The normal is whatever you are comfortable doing. I know we don't have a ton of options around here in terms of OBs, but if the one you are currently seeing is consistently a jerk? Switch. My first OB seemed to have a goal to try and make me cry every time I came in. My husband almost punched her for some of the things she said to me. But back on track.
Breastfeeding does have some advantages over formula, especially when your baby is first born. I would probably suggest at least trying to breastfeed during your maternity leave. That said, your child will do just fine if you choose to formula feed.
Not everyone can breastfeed. It happens. Formula is pretty good and has all the required nutritional stuff your baby will need. If you DO choose to breastfeed after returning to work, you can buy yourself a pump (I've heard the dual electric ones are best. Looking at 5 minutes to pump vs 30+). Depending on your insurance, some companies will cover the cost of a pump. It's something I would wait to purchase until after the baby is born. If you choose that route.
Seriously, no such thing as a silly question. There are a bunch of forums and websites out there that want to give you advice. One site that I've been using is BabyCenter (
BabyCenter | Homepage - Pregnancy, Baby, Toddler, Kids) The informational emails they send out every week I could take or leave. I usually send them to my husband, he appreciates it. The real gold, I think, are the message boards. They have boards for people that are due during the same month as well as special interest boards (such as for people with evil in-laws, breastfeeding, all natural no drugs births, cookie baking... you name it, it exists). It's a terrific mix of first time moms who have all the questions you do + a million more, moms who are on their 2nd, 3rd, 4th+ kids and people from every possible walk of life.
Hope that helps, or at least gives you a place to get started
The local hospitals also offer some classes you might be interested in. Breastfeeding, infant care, labor and delivery and infant CPR.
Sorry, that's my way of procrastinating! I'm not slacking off if I'm doing something kind of useful that's totally unrelated to what I'm supposed to be doing, right?