first, i suppose i should say hello. yes im a newby and this is my first post. i feel like im at a AA meeting.
anyway, i have a question for the fellow members (girls and guys). please put yourself in my position and tell me what direction you would take...
1. stay and see how things workout
2. leave and start over
im an early 30s male. single father with joint legal and physical custody of a wonderful 6 yr old son. my sons mother and i still get along pretty well, even after a 4 yr relationship that broke on rough terms. i didnt date at all until just a few years ago when i met the women im with currently.
now that the background is covered, let the story begin.
ive been in a committed relationship with a woman (we'll call her 'mary' for story sake) for the past 2 1/2 yrs. we have been living together for about 2 yrs now. mary is in her mid 30s, professional, never married, and childless. i met her at work as she was finishing her BS. she spoke highly of settling down with a good man, getting married, and liking children. i waited until we were dating for about 3 months before i introduced her to my son. she knew from our first meeting that i had a young son (then ~3 yrs old).
the issue im having is, now that she has finished school she wants us to go away as a couple on vacations and not take my son. she has made 4 trips this summer alone, and none of these have included my son or i. she has gone to NYC twice, colorado once, and is going to vagas in 2 weeks. mary asks me to go knowing i'll have my boy during the time she has planned the getaway. (just fyi...i treated to a 3 night Maine B&B for just the 2 of us back in april thinking she's been asking to get away). when she is home she is decent to my boy but doesnt play or partake in the daily needs at home in general or with my son. im not looking for 'another mother' for him, but someone who will atleast be more aware of the 'family' that is under our roof. and to reconize that i have a great responsibility as a father. this im sure she does NOT understand.
and yes i have spoken to her on MANY occasions. she doesnt feel that she is missing anything. i do the house work (she'll do some laudry occasionally), yard work, shopping for the house, keep up with the bills, anything to do with my son is all ME, and will near daily make a point to write her a note when i make lunches, call her during break to let her know im thinking of her, etc. i dont get any signs of appreciation or notice.
i dont want my son to see his father bouncing in and out of relationships. i want to show him how to love and care for another person. and i would like for that other person to show him some kind of affection.
is this as clear as mud? anyone else in this situation? im unsure what to do. helpful advise or suggestions???
anyway, i have a question for the fellow members (girls and guys). please put yourself in my position and tell me what direction you would take...
1. stay and see how things workout
2. leave and start over
im an early 30s male. single father with joint legal and physical custody of a wonderful 6 yr old son. my sons mother and i still get along pretty well, even after a 4 yr relationship that broke on rough terms. i didnt date at all until just a few years ago when i met the women im with currently.
now that the background is covered, let the story begin.
ive been in a committed relationship with a woman (we'll call her 'mary' for story sake) for the past 2 1/2 yrs. we have been living together for about 2 yrs now. mary is in her mid 30s, professional, never married, and childless. i met her at work as she was finishing her BS. she spoke highly of settling down with a good man, getting married, and liking children. i waited until we were dating for about 3 months before i introduced her to my son. she knew from our first meeting that i had a young son (then ~3 yrs old).
the issue im having is, now that she has finished school she wants us to go away as a couple on vacations and not take my son. she has made 4 trips this summer alone, and none of these have included my son or i. she has gone to NYC twice, colorado once, and is going to vagas in 2 weeks. mary asks me to go knowing i'll have my boy during the time she has planned the getaway. (just fyi...i treated to a 3 night Maine B&B for just the 2 of us back in april thinking she's been asking to get away). when she is home she is decent to my boy but doesnt play or partake in the daily needs at home in general or with my son. im not looking for 'another mother' for him, but someone who will atleast be more aware of the 'family' that is under our roof. and to reconize that i have a great responsibility as a father. this im sure she does NOT understand.
and yes i have spoken to her on MANY occasions. she doesnt feel that she is missing anything. i do the house work (she'll do some laudry occasionally), yard work, shopping for the house, keep up with the bills, anything to do with my son is all ME, and will near daily make a point to write her a note when i make lunches, call her during break to let her know im thinking of her, etc. i dont get any signs of appreciation or notice.
i dont want my son to see his father bouncing in and out of relationships. i want to show him how to love and care for another person. and i would like for that other person to show him some kind of affection.
is this as clear as mud? anyone else in this situation? im unsure what to do. helpful advise or suggestions???