SxyPrincess
New Member
What are some of your thoughts? Any experiences worth telling?
Bachelor/Bachelorette Parties
- Thread starter SxyPrincess
- Start date
Don't really see what's neccessary about them? From what I have heard (friends), they cause a lot of heartache and trouble! If you have already dated someone for a long time, long enough to put a ring on her finger and ask for her hand in marriage, how is it that you see a Bachlorette party as "your last night as a free man?" When in fact you have not been a free man for a long time! A buddy of mine nearly lost his marriage over one of those! I don't think they are worth it....Has anyone ever thought about having them together? You know whether you are a man or a woman, the first thought that pops into your mind, and the first question you're going to ask is..."What did you do last night?" And there is always that slight feeling of doubt b/c you were not there to see what really went on!
I said "Somewhat For" because I don't really care one way or the other. If you're worried about your man cheating on you with some stripper, you should think long and hard before you get married in the first place. To me, the bachelor party is about celebrating your friendship before the status change, not about knocking off one last piece before the ball and chain. My husband's best friend is a thrash rock guitarist (groupies and all) and I have no qualms about letting those two hooligans run off together - I trust him.
The rule of thumb is to never have your party the night before the wedding - you have enough stress going on without a hangover to boot.
The rule of thumb is to never have your party the night before the wedding - you have enough stress going on without a hangover to boot.
Thinking long and hard before you get married in the first place is absolutely the best advice to give! If you are worried about the cheating, you obvioulsy don't trust! But most Bachelor Parties hardly consist of the mere celebrating of your/a friendship! People automatically associate those parties w/nudity, stripping, lap dances, etc.! I am a guy, and I think that your attitude towards your husband running off w/his friend as being okay, is fantastic, cause you trust him! But have you ever once thought of him w/all those "groupies" and wondered? Would you really approve of some hot chic straddled over him w/no clothes on, trying to seduce him? I know my girlfriend woudln't!!!
PmoneyandTT
New Member
YOur right about the stripper issues.. People over the years - have connected bachelor and bachelette parties with sex and booze.. But its to whomever liking. Chances are if your girlfriend/boyfriend was doing those things prior to being your fiancee then its most likely they will have this big bang.
I don't get into strippers - because they can't do anything for me. I like
looking at nice looking men - but they don't have to take their clothes off
for me to admire their handsome features..
I don't get into strippers - because they can't do anything for me. I like
looking at nice looking men - but they don't have to take their clothes off
for me to admire their handsome features..
I never concern myself with that sort of thing. I'd probably pay some hoochie to do a lap dance for him 
Besides, strippers are just trying to make a living - it's nothing personal and they really don't want your man (just his entertainment bucks). I guess it's all about perspective.
Besides, strippers are just trying to make a living - it's nothing personal and they really don't want your man (just his entertainment bucks). I guess it's all about perspective.
SxyPrincess
New Member
I'm ALL for them. If my fiance had a problem with me having a bachelorette party and didn't trust me on this nite, then he shouldn't have put the ring on my finger in the first place!
Larry Gude
Strung Out
Several people have already mentioned the basics; if he or she is the kind of person you envision as real marriage material, then it is not an issue and not something to be concerned with. If not, what are you thinking?
I’ve only been to one bachelor party that the groom did not want his Nearly Beloved around or even to hear about it and in fact I was embarrassed for him. He handled a potentially ugly scene very well and she would be proud of him. I still don’t think he’s told her though. My experience is that if he has frat buddies, you don’t wanna know. Your marrying him, so trust.
My first was great and a nice mixture of crass and class (and 8 double Wild Turkeys).
Can’t say the same for the marriage.
After that fraud marriage I now have what I think marriage is supposed to be and the bachelor/ette thing is somewhere below painting the quest room and getting the cat de-clawed on a list of things we’d care about IF it
ever even came up. (It didn't)
Having a second marriage? Run away, the two of you. Now we’re talking my idea of a bachelor party!
I’ve only been to one bachelor party that the groom did not want his Nearly Beloved around or even to hear about it and in fact I was embarrassed for him. He handled a potentially ugly scene very well and she would be proud of him. I still don’t think he’s told her though. My experience is that if he has frat buddies, you don’t wanna know. Your marrying him, so trust.
My first was great and a nice mixture of crass and class (and 8 double Wild Turkeys).
Can’t say the same for the marriage.
After that fraud marriage I now have what I think marriage is supposed to be and the bachelor/ette thing is somewhere below painting the quest room and getting the cat de-clawed on a list of things we’d care about IF it
ever even came up. (It didn't)
Having a second marriage? Run away, the two of you. Now we’re talking my idea of a bachelor party!
Christy
b*tch rocket
Once again (oh what a surprise)! I'm in total agreement with vrai! I can't for the life of me understand why anyone would get bent over a bunch of strippers. I've gone to many "jiggle joints" with my husband and all his/our buddies. (Before we were dating, while we were dating, and after we were married). The girls have zero interest in anybody's man, just those dollar bills!
I think it's great for the guys to get together and the girls get together for their seperate celebrations. The last bachelorette party I attended all of us girls went to a bunch of dance clubs on the River Walk in San Antonio. I do believe we'd have been much safer from desperate men if we'd gone to a male strip club! Either way, we had a blast and the wedding went off without a hitch (as she was definitely smart enough to plan it a few days before the big day).
I think it's great for the guys to get together and the girls get together for their seperate celebrations. The last bachelorette party I attended all of us girls went to a bunch of dance clubs on the River Walk in San Antonio. I do believe we'd have been much safer from desperate men if we'd gone to a male strip club! Either way, we had a blast and the wedding went off without a hitch (as she was definitely smart enough to plan it a few days before the big day).
Somewhat for - minus the trashy crap (which I am totally against).
We did the bachelor/bachelorette combined party, did it the night before (wasn't going to sleep anyway) and wouldn't change a thing.
Because we did it the night before, EVERYONE was there. It was just a huge party in the lounge of the hotel where our 'guests' took up two floors of one wing (therefore very few had to drive anywhere). Another plus - excellent "practice" for the reception. Both sides of the family had mingled the night before so it truely felt like one big family the next day. One or two hangovers as to be expected, but we didn't marry in that 'young and dumb' stage so most were fine.
We did the bachelor/bachelorette combined party, did it the night before (wasn't going to sleep anyway) and wouldn't change a thing.
Because we did it the night before, EVERYONE was there. It was just a huge party in the lounge of the hotel where our 'guests' took up two floors of one wing (therefore very few had to drive anywhere). Another plus - excellent "practice" for the reception. Both sides of the family had mingled the night before so it truely felt like one big family the next day. One or two hangovers as to be expected, but we didn't marry in that 'young and dumb' stage so most were fine.
S
ShellyCW
Guest
Scottie: "Has anyone ever thought about having them together?"
About 2 months after we ran off to the courthouse, we invited a small group of friends to go to Las Vegas with us. The Vegas trip was basically our "bachelor/bachelorette" party.. only we were already married. We all stayed in the same hotel, partied together and had a better time than we would have had if we were segregated by sex.
I'd have to say that I would've trusted him if he'd wanted to have a men-only party. If you don't trust someone, why be with them?
About 2 months after we ran off to the courthouse, we invited a small group of friends to go to Las Vegas with us. The Vegas trip was basically our "bachelor/bachelorette" party.. only we were already married. We all stayed in the same hotel, partied together and had a better time than we would have had if we were segregated by sex.
I'd have to say that I would've trusted him if he'd wanted to have a men-only party. If you don't trust someone, why be with them?
AnonymousPenguin
Lead Penguin
Strongly against them.
I don't see a purpose for it...being that most of these parties involve strippers... and the idea that it is the last night to be free with members of the opposite sex.
Ofcourse...if we exclude all the sexual dealings involved at these parties...then I don't see anything wrong w/ it.
The way I see it... if you are ready for marriage... then be ready and go toward the marriage with your significant other... what's the need to have extramarital sexual relations prior to your wedding... if you still need to do that...to me...that says you aren't ready to settle down and be married to your woman/man.
If you've made a decision to be married and give yourself to your mate for the rest of your life... then do exactly that... there should be no need to have that last night of letting loose and being single.
When you are facing your marriage, you should be celebrating the concept of marriage instead of celebrating singlehood.
I think that bachelor/bachelorette parties are quite silly and contradictory to marriage.
I don't see a purpose for it...being that most of these parties involve strippers... and the idea that it is the last night to be free with members of the opposite sex.
Ofcourse...if we exclude all the sexual dealings involved at these parties...then I don't see anything wrong w/ it.
The way I see it... if you are ready for marriage... then be ready and go toward the marriage with your significant other... what's the need to have extramarital sexual relations prior to your wedding... if you still need to do that...to me...that says you aren't ready to settle down and be married to your woman/man.
If you've made a decision to be married and give yourself to your mate for the rest of your life... then do exactly that... there should be no need to have that last night of letting loose and being single.
When you are facing your marriage, you should be celebrating the concept of marriage instead of celebrating singlehood.
I think that bachelor/bachelorette parties are quite silly and contradictory to marriage.
SxyPrincess
New Member
I don't think bachelor/ette parties MUST include sex. I've been to several, and have never seen this happen or anything close to it. Some parties have not even included strippers--just friends having a great time!
Why shouldn't your last nite single be celebrated--that is exactly what it is!
Why shouldn't your last nite single be celebrated--that is exactly what it is!
I think that bachelor/ette parties are fine. You only do what you want. I have been to some that are very tame a group a girls go out for dinner give a few gifts and wish you the best. I have been to one that got a little wild. To me it shows who is and who isn't serious about their commitment to their partner.
Lilly
The Original Lilly
Shelly - my experience was about the same! When eloping there isn't much time to worry about planning any bachelor/ette parties!!
Our only guilty conscious' involved calling various family members to let them know what we had done rather than calling eachother and letting the other know where we woke up!
I voted somewhat for - I don't really see a problem with them and would have loved to have had one - was my marriage not enough of a rebellion in itself! I have been to a few and never seen anything that would ruin a marriage if disclosed. The only people who are going to go out and have wild sex on the eve of the marriage are the ones who aren't gonna last anyway!
And your last single night is something to celebrate - marriage is so much different than dating/ being engaged/ or even living together. Celebrating doesn't mean that you will miss it (though you might) or that you are sad to leave it behind - it means that you have great memories but are willing to move on and share your life with another.
Our only guilty conscious' involved calling various family members to let them know what we had done rather than calling eachother and letting the other know where we woke up!
I voted somewhat for - I don't really see a problem with them and would have loved to have had one - was my marriage not enough of a rebellion in itself! I have been to a few and never seen anything that would ruin a marriage if disclosed. The only people who are going to go out and have wild sex on the eve of the marriage are the ones who aren't gonna last anyway!
And your last single night is something to celebrate - marriage is so much different than dating/ being engaged/ or even living together. Celebrating doesn't mean that you will miss it (though you might) or that you are sad to leave it behind - it means that you have great memories but are willing to move on and share your life with another.
Y
yornoc
Guest
I've known quite a few individuals who got more than they had expected (in a negative way) due to one of these parties. It serves no purpose (IMHO) and opens the door for a host of (potential) issues
Frankly, I think it's a waste of time and resources.
Frankly, I think it's a waste of time and resources.