Stupid Teenagers or Stupid Parents?

vraiblonde

Board Mommy
PREMO Member
Patron
Okay, last night the 15 year old hits me with it:

Apparently the going thing with the teenage set is co-ed slumber parties. Needless to say, she will neither be hosting nor attending any of them. She ranted for awhile wanting to know WHY can't she can't go to this kid's co-ed slumber party? Don't we TRUST her? We don't think she's STUPID, do we?

She said that I'm forcing her to sneak around and lie to us by not giving my permission. After I recovered from my laughter I told her, "Fine, but you better make it worth your while because if I catch you lying to me, I won't trust you anymore." She thought about that for a second, then said, "But what's the big deal? So-and-so's parents let THEM do it!" My standard reply to stuff like that, "Well, maybe So-and-so's parents don't love them as much as we love you."

Now she's right - there are a good number of parents in our community who let their teenagers host and attend co-ed slumber parties. But I think it's stupid and an accident just waiting to happen.

What do you all think about this? I mean, I'm not going to change my mind or anything but I'm just curious how many of you would let your son or daughter have a co-ed slumber party?
 

vraiblonde

Board Mommy
PREMO Member
Patron
PS, the daughter tried the old "you're being close-minded" tactic, too, knowing full well that I don't think it's such a bad thing to be close-minded.
:roflmao:
 

cattitude

My Sweetest Boy
You want to know what I think?

I think I'm glad my daughter's married, one son is about to get married and our youngest son is 19!!!!

Good luck!:biggrin:
 

Tonio

Asperger's Poster Child
15 seems old for slumber parties. My wife says slumber parties were for middle-schoolers when she was growing up.
 
J

justhangn

Guest
GOD, the he11 I have to look forward to. :lol:


I think letting the kids have a co-ed sleepover is a HUGE mistake,NOT only because I'm not one of the kids invited. :biggrin:

You're right, it's a accident just waiting for a place to grow.

Kids find more than enough time to run wild and sow their oats, they do not need any help.

JMHO
 

cattitude

My Sweetest Boy
Originally posted by Tonio
15 seems old for slumber parties. My wife says slumber parties were for middle-schoolers when she was growing up.

Tonio, they key word here is "when." I have to wonder if the slumber parties are hiding drinking or other activities. I know my 19 year old sleeps at friends and always has and I KNOW (pretty much) what is going on.
 

SxyPrincess

New Member
Here's my opinion:

If adults are going to chaperon the co-ed party, I would let my daughter/son attend the event.

I think you also have to try and step into your daughters shoes and think "what would she do at this party?" Either you trust her judgment around boys or you don't. I believe it's the going out alone on a date that you'd have more to worry about. :wink:
 

vraiblonde

Board Mommy
PREMO Member
Patron
It's not the "party" part that concerns me - she goes to boy-girl parties all the time. It's the sleepover that I said no to. I trust her (as much as anyone can trust a 15 year old) and she has good sense (for a 15 year old). I just think it's unseemly for boys and girls to be spending the night with each other at that age.
 

Otter

Nothing to see here
Hmmmm..

Kudos to the kids of today!. At least they are being honest about the sleepovers, when I was in my teens, the guys always went to the girl's slumber parties, we just had to wait for the parents to go to bed.
 

Ken King

A little rusty but not crusty
PREMO Member
Vraiblonde,

My answer is NO WAY IN HELL. While you can trust your kid, can you trust another that you know nothing about? Especially those with a raging hormonal imbalance as teen boys are known to experience.

Just because someone else's parents allow the behavior doesn't mean that you should. Even if you know the chaperones, and believe that they can do a good job of keeping the hanky-panky from taking place, I wouldn't risk it.
 

RoseRed

American Beauty
PREMO Member
I'm with you Vrai. I wouldn't let my daughter stay for the "sleepover" part of the party either. Even if it were chaperoned. I know how sneaky I was when growing up, so I put nothing past what teenagers will do to get away with things. Been there done that.

First, let me clarify that not all teenagers are sneaky. :biggrin:
 

Sharon

* * * * * * * * *
Staff member
PREMO Member
I'm just curious how many of you would let your son or daughter have a co-ed slumber party?
Probably not...even if I stayed up all night with a shotgun in my hands. :wink:

Would I let them go to one? :nono:
 

Christy

b*tch rocket
You know what! I tried this one when I was about that age (and the guy I wanted to sleep over was gay!) I'm glad my mother said HELL NO! It's a matter of responsible parenting. I respect my parents now that I'm "grown" for being hard arses.

HOWEVER! She did cave in during my senior year when I had a boyfriend that drove 8 hours up to visit from Ft. Bragg, NC on a regular basis. And take a guess what we were up to after everyone went to bed?! :blushing: (But Dang, he was 82nd Airborne! Can anyone give me a big HOO UH! :lmao:, he was a perfect speciman of young buff manliness!)

Co-Ed sleepovers are BS and is simply a ploy to play on and victimize us parents with all the politically correct crap. This is an area where "integration" holds no benefits to society!
 
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JabbaJawz

Be about it
Originally posted by vraiblonde
It's not the "party" part that concerns me - she goes to boy-girl parties all the time. It's the sleepover that I said no to. I trust her (as much as anyone can trust a 15 year old) and she has good sense (for a 15 year old). I just think it's unseemly for boys and girls to be spending the night with each other at that age.

I really don't think kids that age have any business spending the night together either, and I think I'd feel totally uncomfortable with my child attending anything like that.

Another point to mention, is that what one parent might call 'supervised' another parent may not. Just like each parent has a different idea of discipline. To me, it's almost impossible to fully supervise such an event. Those kids could sneak around, go to the bathroom, or what if the parent falls asleep? Granted the kids would hopefully not do anything too major incase they were to get caught, but you never know.

I was 15 less than 10 years ago and while my parents were not overly strict, they certainly kept track of me and kept me in check. Still, the responsible and trustworthy teenager that I was - I had her completely snowed with one of my friends, and we got away with all sorts of ventures while her parents left us there alone! :eek:
 
K

Kizzy

Guest
Vrail,

Cari said

My daughter has been to these, but for her, the festivities end at 11:00 (when I pick her up). No way would I allow her to stay over nite at a coed slumber party.


I say let her go and pick her up at 11:00 p.m., if she doesn't agree with that then she doesn't go at all. I think Cari has a good idea here. She gets to be with her friends, but just not over night. Your daughter can just simply say that she has something to do in the morning! But, I would NOT allow my child to stay overnight no-way.
 

Delilah903

New Member
Originally posted by vraiblonde
PS, the daughter tried the old "you're being close-minded" tactic, too, knowing full well that I don't think it's such a bad thing to be close-minded.
:roflmao:

Vrai,

Let the kid go, but before you do make sure she is armed with:

1. A Chastity Belt,
2. Lots of Propholactics (Trojans),
3. Put her on the pill six months prior to the party, and,
4. A Personal BodyGuard. Preferably one with special forces training and who subscribes to the "Don't Ask....Don't Tell Philosophy of Clinton!!

If she still wants to go to the party after all this, tell her to have a good time!!!!
 

Delilah903

New Member
Originally posted by vraiblonde
Hmm, Delilah - seems to me it's a lot easier to just tell her"no".


Thats true vrai! But then she doesn't get to participate in the decision. I was just being facetious, I'm with you I would tell her no from the beginning! :dance: :dance: :dance:
 

Darlene

New Member
Originally posted by Delilah903



Thats true vrai! But then she doesn't get to participate in the decision. I was just being facetious, I'm with you I would tell her no from the beginning! :dance: :dance: :dance:

Delilah...I think all children should be able to participate in decisions made my thier parents...NOT!! I also love to reason with two year olds :twitch:
 
K

Kain99

Guest
Teenagers participateing in the decision?:frown:
This is the exact type of politically correct statement that makes my eyes roll to the back of my head! Uggh! It is clearly the job of Mom and Dad to say NO.. even Hell No... if the situation calls for it! Teenagers are not looking for friends in their parents - they are looking for guidance. I read your post and I think you agree wholeheartedly with Vrai but you just opened a can of worms that sends shivers down my spine.

Parents who roll over and say go ahead are just asking for trouble.
 
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