1. The Energizer Bunny was arrested and charged with battery.
2. A man's home is his castle, in a manor of speaking.
3. A pessimist's blood type is always B-negative.
4. My wife really likes to make pottery, but to me it's just kiln time.
5. Dijon vu: the same mustard as before.
6. Practice safe eating; always use condiments.
7. I fired my masseuse today. She just rubbed me the wrong way.
8. A Freudian slip is when you say one thing, but mean your mother.
9. Shotgun wedding: A case of wife or death.
10. I used to work in a blanket factory, but it folded.
11. I used to be a lumberjack, but I just couldn't hack it, so they gave me the axe.
12. Marriage is the mourning after the knot before.
13. A hangover is the wrath of grapes.
14. Corduroy pillows are making headlines.
15. Is a book on voyeurism a peeping tome?
16. Dancing cheek-to-cheek is really a form of floor play.
17. Banning the bra was a big flop.
18. Sea captains don't like crew cuts.
19. Does the name Pavlov ring a bell?
20. A successful diet is the triumph of mind over platter.
21. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
22. A gossip is someone with a great sense of rumor.
23. Without geometry, life is pointless.
24. When you dream in color, it's a pigment of your imagination.
25. Condoms should be used on every conceivable occasion.
26. Reading whilst sunbathing makes you well red.
27. When two egotists meet, it's an I for an I.
2. A man's home is his castle, in a manor of speaking.
3. A pessimist's blood type is always B-negative.
4. My wife really likes to make pottery, but to me it's just kiln time.
5. Dijon vu: the same mustard as before.
6. Practice safe eating; always use condiments.
7. I fired my masseuse today. She just rubbed me the wrong way.
8. A Freudian slip is when you say one thing, but mean your mother.
9. Shotgun wedding: A case of wife or death.
10. I used to work in a blanket factory, but it folded.
11. I used to be a lumberjack, but I just couldn't hack it, so they gave me the axe.
12. Marriage is the mourning after the knot before.
13. A hangover is the wrath of grapes.
14. Corduroy pillows are making headlines.
15. Is a book on voyeurism a peeping tome?
16. Dancing cheek-to-cheek is really a form of floor play.
17. Banning the bra was a big flop.
18. Sea captains don't like crew cuts.
19. Does the name Pavlov ring a bell?
20. A successful diet is the triumph of mind over platter.
21. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
22. A gossip is someone with a great sense of rumor.
23. Without geometry, life is pointless.
24. When you dream in color, it's a pigment of your imagination.
25. Condoms should be used on every conceivable occasion.
26. Reading whilst sunbathing makes you well red.
27. When two egotists meet, it's an I for an I.