FOR THE LADIES

This is how it really was !

One day in the Garden of Eden, Eve calls out to God.
"Lord, I have a problem!"
"What's the problem, Eve?"
"Lord, I know you created me and provided this beautiful garden and all of these wonderful animals and that hilarious comedic snake, but I'm just not happy."
"Why is that, Eve?" came the reply from above.
"Lord, I am lonely, and I'm sick to death of apples."
"Well, Eve, in that case, I have a solution. I shall create a man for you."
"What's a man, Lord?"
"This man will be a flawed creature, with many bad traits. He'll lie, cheat, and be vain; all in all, he'll give you a hard time. But he'll be bigger, faster, and will like to hunt and kill things. He will look silly when he's aroused, but since you've been complaining, I'll create him in such a way that he will satisfy your physical needs. He will be witless and will revel in childish things like fighting and kicking a ball about. He won't be too smart, so he'll also need your advice to think properly."
"Sounds great." says Eve, with an ironically raised eyebrow.
What's the catch, Lord?"
"Well..... you can have him on one condition."
"What's that, Lord?"
"As I said, he'll be proud, arrogant, and self-admiring.....so you'll have to let him believe that I made him first. Just remember, it's our little secret.... "You know, woman to woman."

Love it, love it, love it!!!

Kyle said:

Click to expand...

If this is a lady lady, then it’s HOT!!!

The Lady Bond!

VOLCANO LAIR—Finally, in a triumph of feminism, we have a girl James Bond, Jane Bond, to prove that women are just as capable as, and maybe even more capable than, men. Her first adventure was going well, with Jane Bond sneaking through the villain Silverfoot’s lair, but when she found where Silverfoot kept his evil plans, disaster struck: The plans were sealed inside a pickle jar.

Jane Bond struggled to open the jar to retrieve the plans for ten minutes, finally giving up so she could instead find the temperature controls for the hollowed-out volcano, as she was feeling cold. She shrieked when she saw a spider, though, and was quickly captured.

“So, Silverfoot, do you expect me to talk?” asked Jane Bond while she was strapped to a table with a laser inching toward her to cut her in two.

“No, you’re always talking,” Silverfoot replied. “I just want you to shut up for once.”

“Too bad! We’re talking!”

Jane Bond’s gambit of trying to talk about her relationship with the supervillain worked, causing Silverfoot to flee the room and giving her an opportunity to escape. She caused millions of pounds in property damage, though, in the ensuing car chase, most of it at the very end when she tried to parallel park her Aston Martin.

It was a rough first outing, and she was happy to end it with an appletini (shaken, not stirred).