Alone, but never Lonely

Some women secretly carry guilt that they have misappropriated as daughters, thinking it was their fault that their fathers didn't stay with their mothers.  If you're one of those women, you are always trying to prove something to yourself.  Growing up is hard work.  It is even tougher when today's women is wrestling with yesterday's little girl.  Somewhere deep beneath the painted smiles and polished nails is a longing, an aching, a void.  Somewhere beneath the symbols of success lurks a feeling of incompleteness.  The emptiness taints your successes and taunts your accomplishments.  You are either distrustful of men as a whole or you idealize a man's attention as the epitome of success and fulfillment.  You may be afraid to be alone.  You may feel as if you have been alone all of your life, and you fight the feeling by adding people to your life.  If you were wise, you would know that having people in your life, in your house, or even in your bed doesn't ensure that you will not be lonely.  But if you really come to know God, you could be alone and still not be lonely.  It is when you understand the gift of being alone that you will really be ready to share your companionship with someone else.  Whenever someone is involved with you, they become a part of what was going on in you before they came around.  For some men, that is traumatic because if the women isn't happy before he comes, she will soon be unhappy with him around.  She will go from madly in love to distant and frustrated because she expected him to be all that she hasn't gotten out of life.  At first, she is excited.  Later, she is disappointed because she realizes that she is still involved with a wound from her past.  It is a void that only the Holy Spirit can fill.

Most Christians are seated so high on their perch of self-righteousness that they often fail to minister to the pain behind the sin.  They are concerned about the habits of sin.  But they don't seem to understand that removing the act doesn't free the heart.  It just represses a problem that manifest in cynicism and frustration.  People are teachable when they are not in pain.  It is like telling a child not to scratch a rash.  She will do it even if she does it in her sleep because she is feeling discomfort.  But if you can apply a soothing ointment, the habit is easily broken.  I am sorry we live in a world filled with pain and rashes, with imperfections and scars.  But, in all of my searching, the only thing I have found that will soothe the itching for affection and bleeding from scars is Jesus.

How many single women do you know who are almost consumed by the desire to get married? There are so many women who are longing for a relationship they are not ready to receive.  If you are going to walk with God, you must understand something: Timing is everything. When the Lord has prepared the right man for you and you for him, and that man shows up at the right time, you must be sure that you are in the right place with the right perspective to receive all that God wants to release to you.

Read Proverbs 18:22. The bible says that "He who finds a wife finds a good thing, and obtains favor from the Lord" Often, because of old issues you haven't dealt with or old wounds that haven't healed, you may find yourself wandering around in a stupor somewhere, emotionally unprepared for a healthy relationship.  You will not be able to be the "good thing" you were meant to be in your husband's life.  Unless you are healed and whole, your man will not feel that He's enjoying the Lord's favor in his relationship with you.

Ladies, men do not exist to bring the favor of the Lord to your lives, either.  You find the favor of the Lord by being the women He created you to be - by breaking the chains with which the devil had you bound, by knowing the Lord passionately and intimately, by walking in His power and worshipping Him with your life.  You must take responsibility for making yourself, with God's help, the good thing He wants you to be.  Notice that the Bible does not say that whoever finds a women finds a good thing.  It says that whoever finds a wife finds a good thing.  But how can you be a wife before you have a husband? You become a wife in your spirit. Yes, you become a wife in your spirit before you ever get married.  That way, you will be prepared to be a wife in other ways.  If you are not prepared, if you do not have the anointing of the Holy Spirit, you will find yourself dragging your ugly past into what could be the most beautiful relationship of your life.

My sister, do what you need to do in order to be whole.  The Lord heals.  The Lord mends.  The Lord restores.  And He will make you a women of strength and grace and wholeness.  When He has done His work in you, you will be such a good thing.

Marriage....yuck!!!!

TT--Amen God has a plan for us all but first you have to listen, then you have to trust.

Lots of people marry for the wrong reasons; sex, money, security, just to name a few.  You must be best friends first.  To many people rush into a sexual relationship, think they're in love and get married...then it falls apart.  It's no wonder the divorce rate is so high.  Marriage is work, there are no short-cuts.  ...Happily ever after is a fairy tale.  

TT,

I'm in agreement.  There is no reason to be afriad of being alone.  It is a wonderful soothing gift... we need to take advantage of it... time for yourself!!  No good in finding a man to avoid being alone.  Only after being comfortable with yourself will you be able to have a successful relationship with a man.  There is a right time and a right place for everything.  God has a plan and it will play out... it doesn't always make sense to us...for we are only children!

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