Please Help...Teacher Issues

Ok here goes....
My daughter is in third grade. She has always read above reading level and LOVED to read, last year she tested at a 5th-6th grade reading level. She has gotten straight A's with maybe one B since she started in school. With the exception of handwriting which is pretty irrelevant IMO.
I got a sour taste in my mouth for her teacher at the open house as she was talking about "DIBBLES" testing (a words per minute reading test) Ashlie at the end of 2nd grade was reading 221 words per minute and was ing the teacher about it and a BIG deal was made about the fact that she could read so fast, comprehension was irrelevant in this test. The bench mark for 2nd grade is 80 something and third grade is like 150 tops. Well this teacher decides to embarass my kid in front of the entire third grade and their parents when she was emphasing the importance of comprehending during this test (something that NONE of the second teachers said was important at all) and says "I even had one kid bragging that she could read 211 wpm, well she did, she read 246 wpm, but that doesn't matter, cause she can't possibly comprehend that fast." So I had my kid home crying that evening because she couldn't read anymore and had to "get dumber". That was my first experience.

NOW any assignment that there is not a CLEAR right or wrong answer on the kiddo gets a faililng grade, all of her comments on all of her papers are negative. The kiddo can bring home a 90% with 3 or 4 negative comments on it. The teacher has mistakenly sent home papers from other kids in kiddo's folder papers which are no where near what kiddo's are but of course have better grades and no where near the negativity. I just don't get it. How do you go from straight A's to almost failing? I understand that third grade is harder than 2nd, but really?? almost failing??

The teacher's big complaint with kiddo is that she is used to hand holding and needs to be more independant in her work, she actually told me NOT to do her homework with her.

This teacher has the personality of a rock and trying totalk to her to figure out the problem is like talking to a brick wall. I am at my wit's end here and have no idea what to do.....PLEASE HELP





sidenote: Teacher went to school with kiddo's POS father, who has since been in all kinds of trouble and I mean BIG trouble, and had been arrested countless times by teacher's husband. I really wonder if this has anything to do with it....


What say you forumites???

Tina2001aniT said:

What say you forumites???

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Kick her ass.

I would take it up with her first, then go to the principal about having your daughter changed to another teacher's class.

jwwb2000 said:

I would take it up with her first, then go to the principal about having your daughter changed to another teacher's class.

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I can't believe she told you NOT to do homework with her.

We went through a similar struggle last year in 4th with a first year teacher My boy had a great 3rd, terrible 4th and is now having a great 5th grade. I wish I had yanked him from her class. Follow your gut.

I would request a conference to include you, the teacher, and the asst. principal (or principal). Write down your issues before going in, and address each one. Confronting her may help, and if not, I'd definitely request that A be moved to a different class. It's not like you are asking for special treatment, but you want your child to be treated fairly, not be embarassed, and be rewarded when deserved.

I'm torn, this year I have stopped doing homework with Boy. They are grading him not me. I answer questions but as far as sitting down and doing it with him, nope.

As far as the harshness, I don't mind it some. Boy would not be challenged if they blew susnshine up his ass everytime he did the slightest thing right. Hard grading promotes attention to detail and hard work and there is nothing wrong with that.

Pete said:

I'm torn, this year I have stopped doing homework with Boy. They are grading him not me. I answer questions but as far as sitting down and doing it with him, nope.

As far as the harshness, I don't mind it some. Boy would not be challenged if they blew susnshine up his ass everytime he did the slightest thing right. Hard grading promotes attention to detail and hard work and there is nothing wrong with that.

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I agree with not doing homework with the kid. It is your job to make sure they do it, and to give guidance. It is their job to do it right. I'll let my kid go to school with wrong answers on her homework so that the teacher can understand what my kid doesn't understand.

I also want my child to be challenged, but not unfairly. If I thought a teacher was being unfair, I would be all over the principal until it was straightened out.

Tina.

I’d speak to the teacher about it, but my oldest son went through a huge transition in the 3rd grade. They are expected to work more independently at that age, and she may see far greater potential in your daughter than the other students in her class, but her self-esteem shouldn’t be lost in the process either. It is important for the teacher to not only convey the negatives but the positives also. If you don’t feel satisfaction in her teachings, it isn’t that late in the school year to request she be switched to another teacher.

My son hated his teacher in the 2004-2005 school year and I refused to switch him. I explained that in life you will deal with people you don’t really like and you have to learn to adapt to it. He thanked me this past summer for not changing his teacher and even sent her a nice little note when we were at the Fair. :shrug:

MMDad said:

I agree with not doing homework with the kid. It is your job to make sure they do it, and to give guidance. It is their job to do it right. I'll let my kid go to school with wrong answers on her homework so that the teacher can understand what my kid doesn't understand.

I also want my child to be challenged, but not unfairly. If I thought a teacher was being unfair, I would be all over the principal until it was straightened out.

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When my oldest reached the 5th grade, I completely stopped sitting down with him and helping him with his homework. I’ll answer questions, but this is where I draw the line. The biggest problem I see in many of the younger employees coming into my work place is the lack of prioritizing, managing and organizing, a symptom of parents doing too much for them for too long possibly?

Right now, my oldest has all semester to work on his organizational skills because he is on restriction. The first semester I let him do it his way, now it is my way, because every teacher listed his grade would have been higher had he turned in assignments on time.

MMDad said:

I agree with not doing homework with the kid. It is your job to make sure they do it, and to give guidance. It is their job to do it right. I'll let my kid go to school with wrong answers on her homework so that the teacher can understand what my kid doesn't understand.

I also want my child to be challenged, but not unfairly. If I thought a teacher was being unfair, I would be all over the principal until it was straightened out.

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I disagree on the homework position. I feel that yes it is the kiddo's responsibility to do it and she does it. I answer questions and DO NOT agree with letting her go in with wrong answers. If there is something she is having difficulty with it is my job as the parent to make sure she understands, the teachers have a responsibility to teach, but I also have a responsibility as the parent to reinforce the teacher's teaching. I believe that it is my job as well as her teachers to ensure that she is learning and comprehending what she is being taught. Am I wrong?

Pandora said:

When my oldest reached the 5th grade, I completely stopped sitting down with him and helping him with his homework.

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I feel that is a little late. My daughter is in second grade, and is completely responsible for completing her homework. We make sure she has done it, but we do not help, and we do not correct it. If she has questions we answer them.

If she needed help, I would teach her the concepts rather than teaching her the answers. I would help her solve problems similar to her homework, but she must supply the answers to her homework. If I answer the questions, the teacher is grading me and not my child.

Pandora said:

Tina.

I’d speak to the teacher about it, but my oldest son went through a huge transition in the 3rd grade. They are expected to work more independently at that age, and she may see far greater potential in your daughter than the other students in her class, but her self-esteem shouldn’t be lost in the process either. It is important for the teacher to not only convey the negatives but the positives also. If you don’t feel satisfaction in her teachings, it isn’t that late in the school year to request she be switched to another teacher.

My son hated his teacher in the 2004-2005 school year and I refused to switch him. I explained that in life you will deal with people you don’t really like and you have to learn to adapt to it. He thanked me this past summer for not changing his teacher and even sent her a nice little note when we were at the Fair. :shrug:

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But see that is the funniest thing A LIKES her teacher thinks she is "picky" but nice. But in this year Ashlie has completly lost her love for school, learning and reading. She wants nothing to do with it. I feel as though the negativatity from the teacher has demolished her confidence and therefore makes her want to give up. Like I said I just don't get it.

Tina2001aniT said:

I disagree on the homework position. I feel that yes it is the kiddo's responsibility to do it and she does it. I answer questions and DO NOT agree with letting her go in with wrong answers. If there is something she is having difficulty with it is my job as the parent to make sure she understands, the teachers have a responsibility to teach, but I also have a responsibility as the parent to reinforce the teacher's teaching. I believe that it is my job as well as her teachers to ensure that she is learning and comprehending what she is being taught. Am I wrong?

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There is no "right" or "wrong" with parenting, so no, I will not say you are wrong.

It is absolutely your responsibility to ensure she is learning and comprehending. However, if you don't allow the teacher to see the errors, the teacher cannot understand where your child needs help. Theoretically, the teacher should know how to teach the basics better than you do. Let them.

When they don't teach the basics, then it is time to raise hell, string them up, and get them fired.

Tina2001aniT said:

But see that is the funniest thing A LIKES her teacher thinks she is "picky" but nice. But in this year Ashlie has completly lost her love for school, learning and reading. She wants nothing to do with it. I feel as though the negativatity from the teacher has demolished her confidence and therefore makes her want to give up. Like I said I just don't get it.

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Maybe, but all that independent work could make school more tiring than it has been in the past. I think speaking to the teacher might ease your mind.

MM,

I did look things over at that grade. Mainly because my children will rush, complete homework and turn in smashed up sentences on one line and yell DONE!

When my oldest got to the 5th grade, I said, yep, go ahead and turn it in like that. Of course, he was fixing it the following night. Organization has always been a huge problem for him and this is an insult to me. I'm HIGHLY organized, but all I can do is offer pointers and tips, the rest has to be up to him.

My youngest is doing 3rd grade math in the 2nd grade but his reading level is still 1st grade. I help with the reading assignments but I do not help him with his math, nor does he need it, so I guess it all depends on the child. :shrug:

MMDad said:

There is no "right" or "wrong" with parenting, so no, I will not say you are wrong.

It is absolutely your responsibility to ensure she is learning and comprehending. However, if you don't allow the teacher to see the errors, the teacher cannot understand where your child needs help. Theoretically, the teacher should know how to teach the basics better than you do. Let them.

When they don't teach the basics, then it is time to raise hell, string them up, and get them fired.

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So if your kid is not getting long division, you would just let her flounder and get the answers wrong instead of reinforcing the lesson and guiding her to the right answer? I would think that would be pretty fustrating for the kid.

We don't sit with the kids when they do their homework, but we are there to help.

Tina2001aniT said:

But see that is the funniest thing A LIKES her teacher thinks she is "picky" but nice. But in this year Ashlie has completly lost her love for school, learning and reading. She wants nothing to do with it. I feel as though the negativatity from the teacher has demolished her confidence and therefore makes her want to give up. Like I said I just don't get it.

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Could it be you dote too much and are overly dramatic? Look at your terminology, "completely lost her love for school, learning and reading", "demolished her confidence".

I am not saying the teacher isn't a hack, but if you don't stifle the urge to rush in and rescue her in the face of every difficulty she is going to be totally ill equipped later in school and life. She wants to give up because she is expecting you to snap your fingers and make it all better.

Pete said:

Could it be you dote too much and are overly dramatic? Look at your terminology, "completely lost her love for school, learning and reading", "demolished her confidence".

I am not saying the teacher isn't a hack, but if you don't stifle the urge to rush in and rescue her in the face of every difficulty she is going to be totally ill equipped later in school and life. She wants to give up because she is expecting you to snap your fingers and make it all better.

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Not at all the kid has literally gone from straight A's to bringing home failing grades in every subject. That is a very dramatic change.
As sad and "overly dramatic" as it sounds that is what has happened. Hence the reason I am confused and coming to the forums (of all places) for advice.
I do not rush in and rescue her in every difficulty she faces, SHE doesn't feel like there is a problem, she just feels stupid and incapable, and THAT to me is a huge problem. Talk about difficulty later in school and life, try life with zero self confidence.....

Tina your baby is obviously paying for teachers negative attitude towards Dad. Demand a new teacher pronto! We can move forward from there.

The political comments here are geniune. It's just, I've been there with one of Daddy's Ex girl friends. Do what's right.

Kain99 said:

Tina your baby is obviously paying for teachers negative attitude towards Dad. Demand a new teacher pronto! We can move forward from there.

The political comments here are geniune. It's just, I've been there with one of Daddy's Ex girl friends. Do what's right.

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I am trying very hard not to believe that is true. But it's the little things. Seeing the other kid's assignments not graded as harshly and the fact the anything that can be objectively graded she fails. They have been working at school on the memoirs for weeks at least. Looking at the grading sheet it is very objective grading on a scale of 0-3 for each part. A got a total of 47% on the memoir. Are you kidding me?? 47% I am requesting a copy, it better be the most unorganized, imcomplete, sloppy thing ever done.

Mrs. Jones said:

So if your kid is not getting long division, you would just let her flounder and get the answers wrong instead of reinforcing the lesson and guiding her to the right answer? I would think that would be pretty fustrating for the kid.

We don't sit with the kids when they do their homework, but we are there to help.

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I wouldn't answer the questions for her, if that's your question.

If she was that lost, I would be working with the teacher to correct the problem. Fixing the homework for her only hides the problem. Let the teacher see the problem.