On a Septic Tank Truck sign:

"We're #1 in the #2 business."


Sign over a Gynecologist's Office:

"Dr. Jones, at your cervix."



At a Proctologist's door

"To expedite your visit please back in."


On a Plumber's truck:

"We repair what your husband fixed."



On a Plumber's truck:

"Don't sleep with a drip. Call your plumber."



Pizza Shop Slogan:

"7 days without pizza makes one weak."



At a Tire Shop in Milwaukee:

"Invite us to your next blowout."



On a Plastic Surgeon's Office door:

"Hello. Can we pick your nose?"



At a Towing company:

"We don't charge an arm and a leg. We want tows."



On an Electrician's truck:

"Let us remove your shorts."



In a Nonsmoking Area:

"If we see smoke, we will assume you are on fire and take appropriate action."



On a Maternity Room door:

"Push. Push. Push."



At an Optometrist's Office

"If you don't see what you're looking for, you've come to the right place."



On a Taxidermist's window:

"We really know our stuff."



In a Podiatrist's office:

"Time wounds all heels."



On a Fence:

"Salesmen welcome! Dog food is expensive."




At a Car Dealership:

"The best way to get back on your feet - miss a car payment."



Outside a Muffler Shop:

"No appointment necessary. We hear you coming."



In a Veterinarian's waiting room:

"Be back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!"



At the Electric Company:

"We would be delighted if you send in your payment.

However, if you don't, you will be."



In a Restaurant window:

"Don't stand there and be hungry, Come on in and get fed up."



In the front yard of a Funeral Home:

"Drive carefully. We'll wait.."



At a Propane Filling Station,

"Tank heaven for little grills."



And don't forget the sign at a Chicago Radiator Shop:

"Best place in town to take a leak."