...

:lol:

Ahhh. Nothing like leaving for Florida. The Butt Crack of Dawn nowhere in site. Everything is sparkling with promise. 3:30am is a weird time of the day to be hyped up:yahoo:. 14 hour ride in front of you. It was hard leaving the inmates. The cocker spaniel who loves to “wookie” talk in the morning. She is not a licker, but she will put her mupplet paws on your legs and her spongy wet nose 1 millimeter from yours, staring at you. No licking, just the threat of licking.

A little maltipoo, (not much malti and more poo) that was rescued. He spends most of his time being cross dressed by my daughter. He is a good sport about it. He is a licker and will dance on his hind legs to get close to some lickable hand.

The last is a spitz mix. She can perfectly imitate a baby seal about to be clubbed. This dog is the one we will always want to clone in later years. She is like Nana from Peter Pan. She can be without a leash and stays with the kids in the yard. She insists on laying on the floor next to any sleeping member of the family. She is wonderful.

But, alas, they must stay with the pet sitter. Back to the van. Our plan, fueled by our excitement, is to drive straight through. After our last trip’s nightmare, this plan gives me the tremors. (Remember the handicapped gentleman who was going to smoke cigarettes with every hole he had, and a few of my own?!) But the Geeks are stubborn. Our ETA at my parent’s house is around 7-8pm that evening :cool:.

We are settling in, I am playing the early morning game with the defroster, where you are talking happy talk with your husband and kids and then BAM The inside of your vehicle fogs up like David Copperfield is in your third row seat making the Statue of Liberty disappear.
Me to TGS ~”All fans on high Captain, temperature set at the magical mid way point between the hot triangle and the cold triangle” Do the Mickey salute to inspire confidence.
And then just when you think you won’t win and the fog will overtake you and force you off the road like one of the movies they show in the 50’s sci fi drive in Theatre. You win, the fog abates. But stay alert, it could attack at any moment between 3:30 am and 5:30 am.
In between my foggy battles, I have a game plan for the excited kids. Tinkerbell Gifts. You see Tinkerbell delivers green wrapped presents to the kids along the way. The first gift goes like this
Me ~ ”Hey kids, do you smell something?”
Kids ~”Yeah it’s like flowers or vanilla”
Me~ “I remember that smell from when I was a kid driving to Florida with Grandma and Grandpa, It was a Tinkerbell fart. Every time I smelled it I would look around the car to see if she left a surprise”
Kids~ Staring at me with wide eyes and eyebrows up
Me~ “A good surprise! Not related to the farting”
Kids ~ Frantic searching and locating of a Disney themed travel present. Both, without prompting “Thank you Tinkerbell”!!

As the day gets brighter they start the game of “ I SAW her!!” Birds, sparkling parts of pavement and little holes in clouds where sun peaked through became magic following us down I-95. I do believe DS was on to me, but played along for his sister.


Back in our Van, we are making “good time”. That’s what everyone says right? Visitors arrive and you inquire when they left, then your standard reply is “Oh You made good time”. What does that mean? I only knew two men who actually “made good time” in the sense that a trip took less time than it should. Both drove like maniacs, the type of car that flies by you and you say things like “Rather have that fool in front of me than behind me” or “He’s got a date with a telephone pole and can’t be late” etc.


So really, we never want to “Make good time”. We stop for breakfast in McDonald’s. Turns out the lower half of I-95 only has one official rest stop per state. Us travelers are expected to have steel walled bladders for that system to work out. Otherwise you do “the cheating” rest stop. In McDonald’s. You slip in the side door, do your ditty, and sneak back out to the van without buying anything in the store. I feel guilty about that. This particular McDonald’s got the full Monty, pee and some of my money. Now here in MD they have banned smokers from exhibiting anything that looks like smoking in public. So I was shocked to see smoking in restaurants. This McDonald’s had many signs and rules about smoking which made me laugh. The first one said “No Smoking in Line.” The “Smoking section” was about 2 steps from this sign. In another 2 steps you were in the Magical “No smoking” section. All the sections and rules were taking place in an open space just a little bigger than my kitchen. It was laid out such that If you were, perchance, a smoker, you would have to smoke about four separate cigarettes to travel amongst the signage with out breaking any rules.


The food was subpar. And you have to work really hard to make McDonald’s food any worse than it already is. But the Piece de ‘resistance was a particular art print on the wall. As if the sad, 70’s decor, the multi cigaretted smokers and the greasy food weren’t enough, there on the wall to enhance the mood was a picture of Ronald the creepy clown. Now he is scary when he is happy. (I am not a fan of clowns). This Ronald was depicted with his head tilted in agony with one single tear sliding down his cheek (He was even done up in Artistic Black and White ) it was enough to give me night mares for a month. Ever see the sweet, heartbreaking picture with a dejected Mickey Mouse with one single tear? Gosh that is effective. I don’t even care what Mickey’s crying about I am going to cry too. I just want to scoop that mouse up and cover him with glitter and chocolate until he smiles again.

But Crying Ronald is all wrong. Really Any Ronald is all wrong but crying black and white Ronald in the smoking/no smoking section is well…just creeptastic :bawl:

I brushed away the horror show and pictured myself sucking down fabulous orange juice in the Florida Welcome Center and we resumed “Making good time.”

No offense smokers :huggy:

Up Next: We arrive at Grandma and Grandpa’s place. Do retirement parks have Jail?





Be safe :hot:tie :smoochy:

:clap:

Geek, I'm going with you next year :clap:

Geek, I'm going with you next year :clap:

Dear God

:yahoo: I've been anxiously awaiting this!!!! More installments, please!!!!!! :buddies:

Dear God

I'll be praying for you :lmao:

...

No offense sweet lady at the library. the kids did want to pet the animals and sat listening the whole time. They both learned something.

:snacks:

:roflmao:hurry and post the rest of the trip, I need to read more

4 days and counting:whistle:

:roflmao:hurry and post the rest of the trip, I need to read more

4 days and counting:whistle:

Show off. :bawl:

This report is going to be one long Mother####er, it will still be going when you get back :huggy:

:roflmao: Geek, the way you tell a story is Geektastic! :lol:

:lmao:


Geek, you're a great storyteller! :clap:

:lmao:


Geek, you're a great storyteller! :clap:

:yeahthat:

My sister is at Disney now... I am so jealous!! Pretty sad since I just got back from there :lmao:

...

:roflmao:


Geek, once again, you sure is funny! :clap:

:thewave: YEAH!!! Now, get cracking on the next installment!! :dance:

Geek, I dont need to actually go on vacation, I can live vicariously thru yours. Great story telling. Cant wait for the next one.

Geek, I have been a longtime lurker, interjecting here and there where I think I can offer a name of a reputible company when someone asks for it. I have also asked for advice a time or two. But I feel compelled to tell you that your posts, always, without a doubt make me laugh. Your storytelling is amazing you have a rare gift I do hope that what you do IRL allows your talent to shine the way it does here in the forums. I have job where pretty much do nothing all day long and am bored to tears, and when I come on here and read your posts it brings a little something extra to my day. I appreciate that and thank you for sharing your experiences with all of us. I can't wait to read your next installment.

:roflmao:


Geek, once again, you sure is funny! :clap:
:yahoo: Thanks for saying so :huggy:


:thewave: YEAH!!! Now, get cracking on the next installment!! :dance:

Right away :howdy:

Geek, I dont need to actually go on vacation, I can live vicariously thru yours. Great story telling. Cant wait for the next one.

I will pm you the scratch and sniff version
Geek, I have been a longtime lurker, interjecting here and there where I think I can offer a name of a reputible company when someone asks for it. I have also asked for advice a time or two. But I feel compelled to tell you that your posts, always, without a doubt make me laugh. Your storytelling is amazing you have a rare gift I do hope that what you do IRL allows your talent to shine the way it does here in the forums. I have job where pretty much do nothing all day long and am bored to tears, and when I come on here and read your posts it brings a little something extra to my day. I appreciate that and thank you for sharing your experiences with all of us. I can't wait to read your next installment.


Well browneyes, thank you so much for posting that! That really made my night and I hope that the future chapters make you giggle. Between you and me, I have a secret desire to write a book!

Well browneyes, thank you so much for posting that! That really made my night and I hope that the future chapters make you giggle. Between you and me, I have a secret desire to write a book![/QUOTE]

YW. I'm sure they will make me giggle. I would buy that book!

scratch and sniff, yea! Cant wait. It willl be like Im really there.:yahoo:

...

...

:yahoo: Thanks for the new installments!! Am anxiously awaiting the next one, or two, or three!!!!

...

:clap: More!! More!!!

Geek, you had me close to tears with that sweet story about your grandpa...then you had me laughing with the Uncle Bob story and the lap dance. Oh, and can't forget TGS's squeaky ordering voice. :lmao:

...

:clap: :snacks:

Ahhh. The last crispy ends of real summer. It’s like chewing the fried batter off the non-edible parts of the chicken breast. Yummy. But it won’t last forever.

I want to keep my kids from school. I never want to send them back. When they leave for the day it feels like my heart is draining like a bathtub. Nothing but ominous curly hairs left over.



I would have never thought to compare those things like that. What you do is amazing!

Keep it coming. That last insert made me cry a little. Great story telling Geek.

:clap: :snacks:

:huggy:

I would have never thought to compare those things like that. What you do is amazing!

Thanks so much Browneyes! It is great to see you in the thread again.

Keep it coming. That last insert made me cry a little. Great story telling Geek.

It's OK to pull an Uncle Bob :buddies: Thanks for reading.

[QUOTE=Geek;3153613]



Thanks so much Browneyes! It is great to see you in the thread again.



QUOTE]
I'm here paitently waiting for your next chapter. (not to sound stalkerish or anything:whistle:








:killingme

There are too many places I want to quote where I choked on my drink, laughed out loud, cried like a sissy, or just nodded my head! I love these posts, I wish you could go "home" more often, the stories are unreal, I'd pay to read them!
Browneyes--I feel "stalkerish" too! :lmao: But she's so creative and descriptive~

Geek - :clap: :clap:

:tap: Anxiously Awaiting the next installment... :popcorn:

...

...

I feel like I was there with you.

:yay:

Well dont just leave us here hanging!

I feel like I was there with you.

:yay:

:huggy:

Well dont just leave us here hanging!

It's coming! I promise! I have to write it :lmao:

:huggy:



It's coming! I promise! I have to write it :lmao:

You're just teasing us!!! Stringing us along. J/K :huggy: Thanks for this latest installment. As always, I will be anxiously awaiting the next one!!

:clap: :clap:

:smack: Quit messing with your hair and get back to the story. :whip:

...

...

You're just teasing us!!! Stringing us along. J/K :huggy: Thanks for this latest installment. As always, I will be anxiously awaiting the next one!!

Thanks for reading and posting. I love that you are following along.

:clap: :clap:

:huggy:

:smack: Quit messing with your hair and get back to the story. :whip:


Now that made me :lol: :roflmao:

Thanks for reading and posting. I love that you are following along.

Okay, I got all excited, thinking you had posted the next installment. :tantrum Now, I'm upset!!! You really need to get "cracking" on our next "hit", I mean installment!!!!! :huggy:

Okay, I got all excited, thinking you had posted the next installment. :tantrum Now, I'm upset!!! You really need to get "cracking" on our next "hit", I mean installment!!!!! :huggy:

:huggy: I did! You must have missed it! Chapter 8 is up and running. Please let me know what you think.

I am sorry to hear about your grandma. :huggy: :huggy:
Thank you for your newest installment. It made my night! I just can't say it enough, you are amazing! I have never been to your "home" and had never really had a desire, until now. I feel like I have been there with ya'll, and now really want to go with my family. Can't wait for Chapter 9.

:huggy: I did! You must have missed it! Chapter 8 is up and running. Please let me know what you think.

Geek, I don't know how I missed the last installment. How sweet that you dedicated it to your Grandma! :huggy: Please accept my deepest condolences. As always, I look forward to your next installment!! :smoochy:

Now that made me :lol: :roflmao:

Thanks for the the laugh, and the cry. :huggy:

Great story, sorry about grandma, but what a beautiful little tribute to her. More stories, please.

...

...

:clap::thewave::killingme

I am sorry to hear about your grandma.
Thank you for your newest installment. It made my night! I just can't say it enough, you are amazing! I have never been to your "home" and had never really had a desire, until now. I feel like I have been there with ya'll, and now really want to go with my family. Can't wait for Chapter 9.

You need to get to the Motherland!!! Chapter 9 is up and ready for you :huggy:

Geek, I don't know how I missed the last installment. How sweet that you dedicated it to your Grandma! :huggy: Please accept my deepest condolences. As always, I look forward to your next installment!! :smoochy:

Thanks :huggy: I hope you like Chapter 9.

Thanks for the the laugh, and the cry. :huggy:

Thanks for reading :clap:

Great story, sorry about grandma, but what a beautiful little tribute to her. More stories, please.

Thank you for reading it bailey! More stories for you!

:clap::thewave::killingme

:yahoo:

I hope you like Chapter 9.

:flowers: Thank you, may we please have more? :flowers:

We had to walk past, every time we went to the vehicles, the abandoned part of POP. This drove me crazy. I have a real problem with abandoned buildings, I always imagine fixing them up.


I agree - this is a site for sore eyes.


Oh and my Disney weekness - Pineapple Dole Whips:drool:

I don’t know what kind of poop throwing gorillas people have been smuggling into the Bowling Pin pool at Disney, but it needs to stop. These boys were traumatized.


This made me think back - not a gorilla at the pool but a bear!

The 2 y/o was obsessed with the 4 plus story tall statue of Baloo and Mowgli between our building and the Hippy Dippy pool (I love saying Hippy Dippy) – every time we’d walk to the front of the resort or to the pool he’d have to loudly yell to every family member walking with us by name and ask them “(insert name here) do you see their butts? Look at their butts” then he would giggle, this repeated 4-14 times depending on the number of people walking with us. As well as now whenever that “bear necessity” food pyramid commercial comes on TV we all get informed – “I saw their butts” again followed by a giggle.

The location of the 60’s building is ideal but if we ever stay at Pop again I think I’m going to request the Play-doh section. Wow, the detail Disney puts into everything it does


Oh and on every walk to our building we also have to play a game
Him: “What color is the blue yo-yo”
Me: “Ummmm, Blue”
Him: “Good! What color is the red yo-yo”
Me: “Red”
Him: “Good! What color is the green yo-yo”
Me: “Oh geez, I don’t know, what color is the green yo-yo, is it yellow”
Him: giggling “no, it’s green. What color is the blue yo-yo”
You can see where this game is going – for 8 days bare minimal 6 walks to and from a day.

I don't ever recall laughing so hard I cried, but by golly you did! I can't wait until the next installment!

Oh Geek... Where are you? :popcorn:

...

...

:flowers: Thank you, may we please have more? :flowers:

Yes!!

I agree - this is a site for sore eyes.


Oh and my Disney weekness - Pineapple Dole Whips:drool:

Aren't they so freaking yummy?! I want one now.

This made me think back - not a gorilla at the pool but a bear!

The 2 y/o was obsessed with the 4 plus story tall statue of Baloo and Mowgli between our building and the Hippy Dippy pool (I love saying Hippy Dippy) – every time we’d walk to the front of the resort or to the pool he’d have to loudly yell to every family member walking with us by name and ask them “(insert name here) do you see their butts? Look at their butts” then he would giggle, this repeated 4-14 times depending on the number of people walking with us. As well as now whenever that “bear necessity” food pyramid commercial comes on TV we all get informed – “I saw their butts” again followed by a giggle.

The location of the 60’s building is ideal but if we ever stay at Pop again I think I’m going to request the Play-doh section. Wow, the detail Disney puts into everything it does


Oh and on every walk to our building we also have to play a game
Him: “What color is the blue yo-yo”
Me: “Ummmm, Blue”
Him: “Good! What color is the red yo-yo”
Me: “Red”
Him: “Good! What color is the green yo-yo”
Me: “Oh geez, I don’t know, what color is the green yo-yo, is it yellow”
Him: giggling “no, it’s green. What color is the blue yo-yo”
You can see where this game is going – for 8 days bare minimal 6 walks to and from a day.


That is so adorable!! Thank you for sharing it!! :yahoo:
I don't ever recall laughing so hard I cried, but by golly you did! I can't wait until the next installment!

Hey Brown eyes :howdy: I am so thrilled you liked it.

Oh Geek... Where are you? :popcorn:

I wrote this whole freaking chapter just because you asked :lmao::diva:

:clap: MORE!!! MORE!!!! More!!!!! :clap:

Hi Geek, Im still reading, so keep writing. Ive never been to Disney so this is such a special treat, I feel like Im there with you. Maybe next year, you could take me.:whistle:

...

...

Geek,

I :love: your stories! Love to be able to laugh as I'm reading your "stories".

You're a wonderful writer! :yay: :clap:

:killingme :drool: can't wait for more. My friend is a teacher and she had an autistic kid in her grade who she just loved, and he told her one day Ms.----- you make me laugh so hard you could definatley(sp?) be an actor but your teacher but you could definalty be an actor, oh you make me laugh so hard. (think Rainman when saying this) and you geek could def. be a best selling author! You're wonderful!

[...

...

:killingme:thewave::clap:

:killingme

Geek, as always, :yahoo: :yahoo: :yahoo:!!!! Encore!! Encore!! More!! More!!!

:huggy:

...

:killingme:thewave::clap:
:love:

:killingme
:yahoo:


Geek, as always, :yahoo: :yahoo:!!!! Encore!! Encore!! More!! More!!!

:huggy:

:smooch:

:clap: Waiting for more...

Hello, anyone here? Geek? Next chapter please. I think you should bind this up like a book and try to sell it. Great stuff, your the best writer.

:tap: We're waiting. :flowers:More Please.

It's coming! Almost done. I love you guys.:buddies:

It's coming! Almost done. I love you guys.:buddies:

Have you noticed I've been patiently waiting? Have you noticed I haven't been hounding you wanting to know when the next installment was coming? Well have you????? And now you tease me with a Geek Thread "Trailer". :shakinghead:












J/K And I'm eagerly awaiting the next chapter!!! :popcorn:

:whistle:

...

:yahoo: Thanks!! Now, get busy on the next chapter!!

...

...

:huggy:Thank You.

:yahoo:

May I have another chapter please, more ,more! :yahoo:

:yahoo: Thanks!! Now, get busy on the next chapter!!
:yahoo:


:huggy:Thank You.

:huggy:

:yahoo:
:yahoo:


May I have another chapter please, more ,more! :yahoo:

:huggy:





You guys make me feel so great! Thank you.

feeling great is all fine and dandy, now get to work. :lmao: Waiting is torture.

Your croc farting and bra snapping fiasco had me rolling on the floor laughing almost peeing my pants laughing so hard. Keep em coming! :popcorn:

Begging for more...

:notworthy

...

feeling great is all fine and dandy, now get to work. :lmao: Waiting is torture.

:buddies:
Your croc farting and bra snapping fiasco had me rolling on the floor laughing almost peeing my pants laughing so hard. Keep em coming! :popcorn:

:yahoo:
Begging for more...

:notworthy

:smooch: Have at it!!!

:yahoo: Once again, you have delivered perfection!!! Now, more!! :tap:

:whistle:

...

....

:yahoo: As always, great entertainment!!! Thanks for the update and I'll be looking forward to the next installment!!! :huggy:

:clap::dude:You Rock Geek.

SOOOOO worth the wait! Excellent!

Geek, I dont even know you but every time I see anything tinkerbell, I think of you and always wish I could buy you these items I find.

:yahoo: As always, great entertainment!!! Thanks for the update and I'll be looking forward to the next installment!!! :huggy:

:buddies:I am so glad you like it!!
:clap::dude:You Rock Geek.

:smooch: You rock too!

SOOOOO worth the wait! Excellent!
:howdy::yahoo::howdy::yahoo:


Geek, I dont even know you but every time I see anything tinkerbell, I think of you and always wish I could buy you these items I find.

Aww. I would go crazy over them. I can't wait to meet the full size Tink they have in Disney. Thank you for reading!!

....

:yahoo: Thanks for yet another great installment!! Looking forward to the next one!! :huggy:

:howdy: :yahoo: Excellent can't wait for more!

...

...

....

:yahoo: Thanks for yet another great installment!! Looking forward to the next one!! :huggy:

:howdy: :yahoo: Excellent can't wait for more!

Thanks guys!!!! :geek::dye::geek::dye::geek:

Geek, I think Chapter 19is is my favorite so far!! Keep them coming!! :huggy:

:dye::yahoo::dye::yahoo::dye::yahoo::dye::yahoo::dye:

AWESOME!!! :banana:

...

:howdy::yahoo: thanks for making me smile and laugh today I really needed it!

So when we walked into Innovations to see it had become Renovations we were worried. DS was so disappointed he would not play his game. We walked around and stumbled on a different game. There was a huge Waste Management Garbage truck, so DS was willing to give it a shot.
Let me just tell you. This garbage truck game was awesome! It totally took the place as DS’s favorite game of all time. Each team gets a kid’s sized garbage truck to push around. At each station there is interactive games that teach about recycling.

It rocked. We found our way there many times. I think we played it about 5 times. I highly recommend this cute game. It had a short wait every time, although the park was packed.


My son enjoyed this game too.

...

....

Disney Jail?! Oh no! Great installment! :popcorn: :dye: Thank you!

:yahoo: You were busy while I was out of town!! Thanks for the great read I returned to!! :yahoo:

Hey Geek, I got DS3 a couple of Wall-E shirts from JC Penney the other day for under $2 each, I didn’t see any sizes over a boys 7 though.

[....

...

Disney Jail?! Oh no! Great installment! :popcorn: :dye: Thank you!
:buddies::howdy::yahoo:


:yahoo: You were busy while I was out of town!! Thanks for the great read I returned to!! :yahoo:
:yahoo::dye::geek:


Hey Geek, I got DS3 a couple of Wall-E shirts from JC Penney the other day for under $2 each, I didn’t see any sizes over a boys 7 though.

Excellent!! I will have to hit that up! Thank you!

:lol:

The dance party is a not to be missed attraction.

Thanks for yet another great installation!!! Whatever are we going to do when you get to the end of the trip? You planning your next one yet?

Thanks for yet another great installation!!! Whatever are we going to do when you get to the end of the trip? You planning your next one yet?

:yeahthat: X10 :cds:

....

....

:lol:

:smooch:

The dance party is a not to be missed attraction.

:dye:

Thanks for yet another great installation!!! Whatever are we going to do when you get to the end of the trip? You planning your next one yet?

I am so glad you are enjoying it!!
:yeahthat: X10 :cds:
:yahoo::geek::yahoo::geek::yahoo:



And if you are lurking and you like it, let me know!!!!

Awesome!!! No matter what your story telling puts a smile on my face everytime! Can't wait until the next installment! :banana:

Oh my gosh!! Can't believe I missed this!! My Mother of Fudge radar must need tweaking! Anyway, thanks once again, for another spellbinding episode!! Thrills, chills, and adventure on Geek's Road Trip!!! :huggy:

You always leave me laughing.:killingme

...

...

Awesome!!! No matter what your story telling puts a smile on my face everytime! Can't wait until the next installment! :banana:

I am so very glad you are still with me!!! :huggy:

Oh my gosh!! Can't believe I missed this!! My Mother of Fudge radar must need tweaking! Anyway, thanks once again, for another spellbinding episode!! Thrills, chills, and adventure on Geek's Road Trip!!! :huggy: Thank you for reading it!!! :buddies:

You always leave me laughing.:killingme

I am thrilled to hear that! :cartwheel:yahoo:

Been a terrible morning already and this made me feel a lot better. Thank you so much for sharing your stories! :dye:

What a treat! Another installment first thing this morning!!! :yahoo:

:whistle:

[...

:yahoo: Another great read!!!! :yahoo:

Hey Geek, if you are up for a little road trip there is a Disney Store outlet in Hershey that has a whole section dedicated to Wall-E, and this past weekend everything in the store was 25% off.

Hey Geek, if you are up for a little road trip there is a Disney Store outlet in Hershey that has a whole section dedicated to Wall-E, and this past weekend everything in the store was 25% off.
There is an outlet in Delaware. Rehobeth I think. One of the beaches. Anyway, they had lots of Wall-E when we were there.

AWESOME :yahoo:

To the sweet people that follow this crazy story. I am sorry for deleting it.

To the sweet people that follow this crazy story. I am sorry for deleting it.

:cds:

To the sweet people that follow this crazy story. I am sorry for deleting it.

:bawl:

I will be happy to pm the rest of the chapters to people that want to read them. Don't worry Belvak :huggy: I will send them to you special.

I will be happy to pm the rest of the chapters to people that want to read them. Don't worry Belvak :huggy: I will send them to you special.

:smoochy: Thanks!! I'll be checking my PMer!!

I will be happy to pm the rest of the chapters to people that want to read them. Don't worry Belvak :huggy: I will send them to you special.

Sign me up.:howdy:

what a tease:ohwell:

I will be happy to pm the rest of the chapters to people that want to read them. Don't worry Belvak :huggy: I will send them to you special.
Send them my way please.

:cds: me too please if you don't mind.

Chapter 27 Bubbles and Magic
I love Magic. I find magic everyday. It helps that I have so much time in my head. I told someone the other day, If I’m not talking, I’m not thinking. Just wave noises going on up there. Like listening to a shell at the beach.

So, some of my favorite magic happens when I am washing the dishes at my kitchen sink. If I squeeze my dish soap as I pick it up, a little fountain of tiny pink bubbles shoots around my head. This delights me. I giggle every single time.

Christmas time is like the soap bubbles for me. I love the little displays of cheer in unexpected places. The drive to your house can become an enchanted car show with the whole family ooohing and aahhing over the shiny lights at night.

I love how much trouble people go through for just a few tiny weeks. I like picturing grouchy Dads perched on their roofs, untangling the pesky long string of bulbs. And why do they do it? Just for the thrill it gives their family to turn into a driveway that looks so welcoming. To give reason for the cars passing by to slow down just a little bit.

Christmas time at the Geeks is a ton of traditions. We pile one tradition on top of the next tradition. Pretty much every thing we do, we stamp it as special and try to do it again the following year.

Which makes our list very long.
We started the Christmas Show in 2005. Every year since it has gotten bigger, badder and better. We interview the family members present, asking them bizarre questions to draw out stories from their pasts that we might not learn in everyday conversation. A record, if you will. I make the guests say the nice things we think about our loved ones but rarely say out loud.


We recently arrived back from our Thanksgiving trip to New York to see my in laws. We had an amazing time.
On the way home, the celestial show the sky put on was beautiful. The two planets so close to the sliver of moon. I got a good eyeful of it, as I was traveling in my van for hours that night.

I watched with fascination. These were some very huge soap bubbles!

Until I realized it most resembled a giant frowny face. I could not shake the feeling that the sky was disapproving of me, in general. Low and behold since the moon and his friends gave me the giant astrological finger, one thing after another has been piling up. Crappy style.

My dryer was eating my clothes. So we had to buy a new one. TGS drove his work van into the ground. Necessitating the purchase of a new vehicle. Now. Smack dab in the middle of December. It’s like we won the price is right, except without the free part.


Back to Disney….So we would not be doing the walk of shame. Which I loved.

Our sneaky last day was laying in front of us. We made sure to check out of Pop Century. Sad. But you have got to be happy when you are headed back in the World! My parents started the convoy home. They were going to get ready for our second arrival.

The Geeks headed to EPCOT. We wanted to relive the Soarin’ experience. It was twinkling like a glitter covered memory in our consciousness. One more time, we wanted to see the glow in the kids’ faces. So that was sort of our special goal.

The other special goal? Taking DD’s picture with her custom outfit matching the correct fuzzy character it was a tribute too. In my bagallini, all three outfits were rolled into tight, hopefully non wrinkled logs of fabulousness.

We rolled up on Epcot and unleashed ourselves. First, we stopped at the Coke tasting sample place. And we tasted.

Raise your hand if the one that tastes like sprite is your favorite.
Raise your hand if the Sprite impersonator gives you Dog fart gas.

Man. That is a real conundrum for me. I am such a fan of free things and samples, I’m just a few steps from becoming a burglar. I hit those things hard. I try and fill up that little cup 342 times. I am doing Chinese Coke shooters. Or whatever country is serving up the good flavor. With the after shocks.

We slosh our way out.

I meander over to the information desk and ask about Donald. The toughest duck to find. We found a different duck, and tried to catch him, but they are faster and crafier than they let you believe with all their waddling and eyes on the side.

While walking, the fake sprite takes effect.
I am popping off little machine gun farts with every step I take. I don’t remember this type of thing happening when I was younger.

Walk. Pop. Walk. Pop. Walk. Pop.

Good Heavens why is it so loud? Maybe people will think it is my shoes making the noise.

I look down. I am wearing Crocs. They never make noise. They are like strapping two clouds to your feet. The only way Crocs make noise is if you scream when they are tripping you, or if you do the newborn baby deer on ice maneuver when they get wet and you step on linoleum, then they make the sound of your body thumping on the ground.

At this point I would rather have one big, disgusting fart, then having people run for cover and shield small children with their bodies.

The information booth chick took my Duck request as seriously as anyone has ever taken any question I have ever asked. Which is impressive thinking of some of the more important questions I have asked such as:

“Is the kitchen on Fire, Mom ?”

“Am I on American soil yet?”

“I think I pooped my pants.” (That one wasn’t a question, but gee whiz I was serious at the time. In my family we call that unfortunate situation “Pulling a JC Penny.”

“When can I see Donald?” was a powerful question. Information chick battened down the hatches, shot up a complicated series of flares and at one point had Dale in what looked like an electric chair hooked up to a pair of jumper cables and a car battery.

No, not really.

But she did use a walkie and her landline. She wrote down the information, double checked with her boss, related it to me, handed me a map.

Her information, after all that was “Donald is in Mexico all day from 12:00 to 5:00pm.”

She wanted to help me more. I was all done needing the help. She grilled me with a few questions, not trusting that I could be left on my own with out more information from HER.

Which is sweet. I appreciated it. But she was starting to be an overachiever with the imparting of information. I had to pry my mind away from her verbal vice grip.

So I took DD into the nearest bathroom and preformed the “quick change”. Which as every mother knows, is about as fun as biting a live wire.
If you are a little germ phobic, which I can be. I am trying to rearrange her outfit without any part of her or her outfit touching the floor, walls, sanitary napkin disposal. (“Mommy, Is this a mail box?”)

Really I just want to have her levitate like one of the X men, but she stubbornly remains a slave to gravity. I manage to have her outfit touch everything I did not want it to. I wound up dipping my hair in the toilet. Again.
I push in the new, Duck inspired hair clips and we are good to go.

We make our way over to Mexico. I think Mexico is my favorite country in Epcot. As a child, the change from hot summer day to cool, night festival with just the push of a door mystified me. The costumes the girls wore were exactly what I pictured myself wearing as an adult.

Donald is not in the shade of the building. They put that duck out to roast. I think he was half out of his duck brain. He did register that DD had on a special outfit, but I am not sure he knew it was about him. Of course TGS kept waving sweet and sour sauce at him and licking his lips. Which gets a duck nervous.



We took the kids into the building to ride the new and improved boat ride. DD decided against it. TGS and DS went for the ride. DD and I went to our first kidcot station. Which is always supplied with Sharpies.

Anybody else think that is a bad idea? Me too. Why on God’s green earth would you hand a child a permanent marker? Permanent!!
Why not just hand out hungry tigers and tie some raw steaks to the children?
DS came back for the Mexico boat ride thrilled. He liked it. He started working on his Mask as well.


Next stop was, you guessed it, Waste Management!
The girls vs. the boys. I am pretty sure the boys won. We loved the trash game just as much the 17th time as we did the first.
DD wanted to play a little Wall-e on the video games they had set up.TGS and I sat back and had some sugared, roasted almonds. Those things are like sucking on an Angel’s nose. Little tiny bits of heaven.

DS found a computer game where he could design a fireworks show. He rocked it out. What a cool little show he put on.

We were waiting for our time to go over to the Disney Visa Character meet and greet. We were excited to see who would be behind the curtain. I changed DD into the Pluto outfit in hopes of catching the big yellow dog.

Up next: Who is behind the curtain and will my behind get a parting gift?

:love: Thanks so much for this latest installment!!! I soooooo look forward to these. When are you going to put them into a book? I want the first signed copy!!!



Please..... :huggy:

Awesome Awesome Awesome!!!!!! You are amazing Geek!

What happened to all of the other chapters?!! OMG! Please somebody help!:cds:

:love: Thanks so much for this latest installment!!! I soooooo look forward to these. When are you going to put them into a book? I want the first signed copy!!!



Please..... :huggy:

:yeahthat:

Put them into a book and send it off to the publisher! :buddies:

Chapter 29ish




The other day, when I was speaking to the cop on my front lawn at 5:00 in the morning, I was also saying “Thank you”. Braless.
When Geek was all snuggly in her bed, she had no idea how quickly and thoroughly the excitement in her morning would escalate.


I had to pee. I scurried down the hallway. I tried to make a lot of noise so I wouldn’t scare TGS, while staying quite so the children would not wake up.
I only succeeded at one of those goals. TGS’s morning had progressed to the point where he was on his way out the door when his lovely bride scared the life out of him by appearing out of nowhere.

His over the top horror to my morning beauty monkey slapped my ego to the ground. And kicked it.

I stumbled away like the lifeless drone that I was. Just a small spark of brain power was compelling me towards the bathroom.
TGS threw the front door open without turning off our house alarm.

Whooop Whoop Whoop.

Crap.



TGS is annoyingly using his nose to press the numbers on the key pad to turn off our pleasant morning wake up to the neighbors. I Crock half an ear in the direction of the kids’ rooms. No one is waking up crying and scared.

You know, the kids wake up crying when a mouse farts at night, but sirens loud enough to blow the roof off this joint won’t wake them.
I roll my eyes at TGS and he is off to the races.

The house phone rings. I answer it. The sweet lady at the alarm company inquires about my alarm. TGS’s nose failed to hit the cancel alarm button. So although he silenced it, the alarm company still thinks we could be in danger.

She asks me for our password. I take a stab it. My best guess. I haven’t had to use this password in over 4 ½ years. The alarm lady bids me a good day and I thank her for the phone call.


Knock Knock.

I guess TGS had forgotten something.
But he has a key. And tends to use it. When opening the door.
I walk over to the living room windows and peel back the curtains.

There is a Police Cruiser.

There is a Policeman standing on my front steps.

I look down. Even though it was December, it had been a warm night. I had dipped into my Summer Pajamas. I had on my super short Mickey Sorcerer Shorts. (That’s right, I represent even when no one’s looking)
And a super V necked thin Pajama top. No one wears a Bra to bed. And neither do I. My hair was standing straight up. No make up. No shaved legs.

I gathered my troops, so to speak. This motion caused me to grab both of my hands together like a squirrel eating a nut. I flung open the door.
“Hi, Oh my gosh officer, I think my husband forgot to hit the cancel button, I just spoke to the alarm company.”

He looked so normal. Fully dressed. Professional. A day on the job.

And I am crazy Mickey short lady.

I glace over my shoulder and realize I am standing in front of my coat closet. Which is filled with, you guessed it, coats. I thought longingly of my winter coat. It is nice and long and down to my knees. Why didn’t I think to grab it before I opened the door?

No matter.

I had to attend to the gentleman in front of me. I am half whispering.
He speaks up “Well Mam, the alarm company called and said a female at the residence gave them the wrong password.”

I am that female.

The minute he said the word “Well”, my nimrod dogs decide to out-alarm the alarm. Two of them are right behind me in their crate, and the older, blind one is barking furiously in the wrong direction. It is a cacophony of crazy.

My theme music, if you will.

Now, I am thinking, if the kids wake up crying, I am going to have to go to them. And my new Police buddy is probably going to have to follow.
And at some point the squirrel will have to drop the nut, and the girls will have to fend for themselves. And that thought is far more frightening to me than all the artillery he has wrapped around his waist.

I try to scream/whisper to this Police man, that I am ok. And of course “Thank you”. Because even in my “shocked am I standing in front of a grown man I never met in my pajamas?” state, I am extremely thankful. The bravery it takes to roll up to a house that could possibly hold an unfathomably scary situation just to protect me and my family is not lost on me.

But first I have to convince him that I am fine and I am not a danger.
I think he figured out the danger part pretty quick.
But the fine part was a little harder to convey. Over the barking dogs. And the lack of clothes. And the only paying attention to the man with the gun with the tiniest part of my brain.

Listening for the kids. They are still quiet.
He figures I am only a danger to myself, and of course, the poor sucker that married me. He actually said “Just doing my job mam” (How long has he waited to throw that one into conversation anyway?)

I close the front door. I shush my ridiculous dogs. The blind one is hoping backwards in a circle.

In the sucking quiet that followed. I dropped the girls and grabbed fistfuls of my hair.
“I am going to kill my husband” I whisper.
DD, who mind you has slept through, sirens, dogs, Police, Mom’s confession, hears this tiny little utterance.
In a loud voice (Is the cop still outside the door, writing up paperwork??) she asks me “Who are you going to kill, Mommy?”

Oh for Pete’s banana. The luck of it.
He didn’t hear her. Thankfully.

What a great start to the day.

So where were we in the World?

That’s right. Innoventions.
We were whisked behind the giant velvet curtain. Waiting for us was Mickey, Minnie and Goofy. No one was in line in front of us. No one was behind us. Just us. And them. We took pictures, got teased and the kids were adored by all three. It really was fun. We get a free 5”X7” that we pick up in the Photo Center under the big ball as we depart later.

Next up, TGS checked our Meal plan. Grandpa and Grandma had left their cards with us, to finish up whatever was left. (I know non-transferrable blah blah blah)
The combined total was outrageous. We had to eat 9 meals and 15 snacks by the end of the day. Now the Jiggler loves a challenge, butt even she was scared.

I guess we over budgeted ourselves. I didn’t want to wind up paying on our last day, and boy I sure didn’t have to. We will have to practice better meal plan management in the future. So we ate. Pretty much from here on out, if we weren’t actually in a building that prohibited it, we were eating.

After we ate we wandered over to get our Soarin’ Fast passes. We had quite a wait. We went over to the Character Connection for our last run through.
When DD got to Pluto, He lost his Puppy Mind over her. It was the sweetest. Licking her and jumping all around her. On his four paws. He is so real to her. Next up in our line up is Minnie. Who charades for DD to close her eyes and hold out her hands. Minnie drops a Pluto pin in her hands.
Magic.

Pure, undiluted magic. How is it that there can be thousands of visitors each day and Disney can make my little girl feel magic? Every time we go there! Disney embodies my philosophy for life, which is enjoy every day you are given.

The cast member that orchestrated this whole thing disappears before I get a chance to thank her.

We had a good blob of time before our parting shot at Soarin’.
So we boarded the monorail. DS was in heaven again. Just as we arrived at our super special banned Magic Kingdom, we encountered a super fast Pluto, who was so excited over DD’s outfit. Again. Almost like it was the first time he saw it.

And then Giant football sized raindrops started pelting us. Only in Florida could you get completely drenched after 3 raindrops hit you.
So for our victory stroll down Main Street we were like the cast of Ants, dodging the giant rain drops, eyes wide with fear, faces locked in terror. No, not really. But it was a dash. And ate. Because we better. Or our Meal Plan leftovers would be shameful.

TGS took DS to the Laugh Floor. DD was still too afraid. While the boys thoroughly enjoyed their humorous monsters, DD and I tried to get onboard the Princess line. It had occurred to me that we had never met with a Princess this visit. Of course after the Bibbity Bobbity Boutique we were planning to meet Cinderella, but the glitter and the jellybags had stopped that funtertainement short.

The Princess line was insane. You would think the Princesses were stapling gold coins to the autograph books.
We get the cell phone call that tells us the boys are done.

As a family, we decide to conquer a mythical snack credit. The stuff of folklore and fairy tales.

For one measly snack credit, at the Main Street Bakery you could ingest an Ice Cream sandwich the size of your head. The cookie itself was baked with magic squeezed from Tinkerbell herself. Like she was a sponge. The ice cream was like mucus of the gods. Chocolate chips. Sugar. Fun. Heaven. Engorged stomach.

It was as good as it was reputed to be. Everyone needs to cram one down.
So what is left for the fulltastic Geeks? We need to fulfill our Fast Pass requirements.

And there is drama in this mama’s future. Stomping. Being Snippish. To a Cast Member. Oh My Dog.

Christmas Bonus Jonas Chapter.


Merry Christmas everyone!

I had wanted to write this chapter about 3 days ago, but I got on the Holiday Hamster wheel and kept running until the wheel was turning and this hamster wasn’t running anymore. I was just being held to the wheel from the centrifugal force, little hamster face pressed against the metal rungs.

But I have to say it was worth it.

Worth every second.

And the things that didn’t get done didn’t matter. I am extremely fortunate. My parents and my in laws come to my house. My sweet mother in law cooks like a full blooded angel, and we never let her rest. My mother just knows how to entertain. Things flow effortlessly with her. Plates get clean, leftovers get packed up, music stays on. Seriously, P Diddy could learn some tricks form her. Grandpa and Poppy are wonderful at pouring drinks, killing any random spiders, and toy assembly (they are both part elf).
Our Hoilday includes dancing, singing and more laughing then should be legally allowed anywhere. Did I mention the presents? We are, as a family, ridiculously spoiled. Thoughtful, wonderful gifts are abundant.
Ahh. Christmas.

Geek is going to hit the rewind button and tell you about her trip to the bank on the 23 of December. I was cashing a check at the bank. Well, we have two banks. One is not fancy. One is fancy. I was at the ritzy titsy one. It has high, luxurious ceilings. The tellers are separated from the customers by a thick, bullet proof plastic. Well, I am assuming its bullet proof. It has air holes for the tellers.

So this combination always makes me talk louder. I can’t help it. I feel that the barrier between us could only be over come by my outdoor voice.

It was a crowded line, full of rushing holiday shoppers ready to lubricate their wallets with some cash. I stepped up to the teller waiting for me. She smiled. And she started chit chatting about the holidays.

She was what I call a soft to softer talker.
Well, she is the first one I have met, but if I met another, that’s what I will call them from now on. She started out soft volume speaking, and when she would gt to the real point of her sentence her volume would drop off.

Until she was, as much as I can tell, just moving her lips.

I can’t read lips. Let’s be honest, most of us are amazed I can read at all. So I do what any blonde would do, I overcompensated. I also tried to emulate the behavior I wanted her to copy. Hence me cheerleading scream answers.

Me~ “YES “ I AM GOING SHOPPING!!!”
Soft talk teller ~”Are you going to Target?”
Me~ ”YES!”
Soft talker ~”I got mumble mumble for $5.00 at Target mumble mumble.”

Now, I love Target. I love a good sale their. As a matter a fact, I watch the Christmas markdowns like a highly skilled guerilla surveillance team member.
Actually, us ladies that do the 90% off sales are scarier.

So I don’t care what she got for $5.00. If it was on sale, I wanted it.

Now, maybe I can blame my exhaustion. Maybe I can blame the wheel turning without my feet running. But my reply to her was a hot mess.
I said.

In my loudest voice.

Me~ ”MAYBE I’LL POOP IN THERE LATER!!”

Oh my dog. Did I just scream Poop? The Bank was as silent as a smoke detector without batteries, (that gets disemboweled by an angry mother witnessing her kids heading to the dinner room table when it goes off.)

I can’t fix my faux pas without making it worse.

I had to just leave "poop" out there. I just told a complete stranger and a line full of people in a really loud voice where I * might * be planning on taking a crap in the future.

Instead of what I had intended (Me~Maybe I'll POP in there later!")

So what do I do? Do I pretend like it wasn’t said? (which I am sure was soft talker's dire wish)

Oh no. I start to laugh. I start cry-laughing at my own self.
I laugh all the way out the bank.

Like an idiot.


The miracles of Christmas are what keep me going. I saw my beautiful girl playing with the Nativity.

Well, actually, it was two pieces specifically. She was playing with the baby Jesus and his little rubber cradle. It was touching and sweet. I listened closely. The cradle seemed to be making a "bruumomg" kind of noise.

Me~ “What you got there, sweetheart?”

DD~ “Baby Jesus and His hover craft.”

Me~ “Excuse me?”

DD~ “His hover craft. Like the people in Wall.e”

Now, if you have seen Wall.e, you should be laughing right now. If you haven’t seen Wall.e yet you should be driving to the store to buy it at the end of this chapter.

I tackled her and tickled her until she screamed.

We went over manners a few days later. We enacted some situations and improvised how the kids should and shouldn’t act.

In my reenactment, Grandma was a flying racecar, Grandpa was a can of coke, Nana was Pablo the salt shaker (DD has her own shaker in the shape of a penguin, mostly because she has a tendency to lick the top of the shaker) and Poppy was a sticker of a penguin.

Whatever.

The kids liked it.

Me and the facsimile grandparents decided to ask the children for an example of good manners.

DD ~”When you are in school and you fart you say “Excuse me” instead of “That was a good one”
She was so matter of fact. The grandparents and I were puzzled. Though this was obviously sound advice, I didn’t teach it to her.
That means someone did.

Me~ “Who told you that?”
DD with big blinky innocent green eyes~ ”My teacher”


I have a feeling the next parent/teacher conference was going to be a beut.

When TGS and I had our first Christmas, we marched into Wal Mart and bought all the decorations at once for our majestic tree.
We purchased, with our young, in love hands and wallets a light up, garish muti color lighted star. When all was said and done, we plugged in the star. We stood back and starred.

We were both dissatisfied. I suggested a color change. TGS took out every stinking light out of the star and replaced them with the extra white lights we had from the strings.

It was a painstaking process.

We both gathered in front of the new star. For it’s lighting.

Gosh it was a moment so ripe with emotion. Our first Christmas. We were Newlyweds facing the world together. Let’s start our Holiday.

TGS plugged it in and joined me.

First we smiled and held hands.

Then we stepped back to assess the glow which seemed to be getting brighter.

Our eyes widened in horror and our noses wrinkled in matching distaste.

The star began making a noise.

Sort of a low hum that built and built until it was defiantly humming in a bad way.

You know the sound foley artists make when they are trying to replicate a back draft?

Yeah, that was next.

God Bless TGS, he reacted in a gentlemanly way trying to shield my body with his own at it reached it’s pinnacle. The light was blinding.

Horrifying.

Too bright to be made by any human beings.

The sucking noise was followed by a gunshot.

TGS and I quickly tried to protect our heads. From the Christmas star that was trying to kill us.

Aggh!!. The Star went black. Like a teeny Weeny Super nova.

We stayed frozen in our fear for a few moments until TGS ran forward to unplug the star.

When the star was ready to explode, I saw by the glow of that inhuman light, the man that I love. He was willing to step in front of a loaded Christmas tree for me. This was a marriage made to last. And we became an obsessive pair of wattages checkers after that moment. Changing a lightbulb here is a kin to landing the Apollo safely back on Earth, with trajectories, checklists and held breath.

My father gave me my Grandmother’s engagement ring from my Grandpa. She wore it for over 60 years. She never took it off. It feels so special on my finger. I can see her smile when I look at it.

The Holidays. I didn’t mention DS this chapter. So what can I say. He makes me proud. He is the best big brother. He got more Bakugan then he knows what to do with.
He rocks.

So thank you and happy holidays to the readers of this trip report.





P.S. My parents bought the Jiggler fudge from Main Street!!!!

Thanks for the new chapter. Hope you had a great Christmas.

:smoochy: Thanks for the new installment!!

By the way, what is Tink doing with her hands in your av? From the position and the look on her face, I can only guess.

By the way, what is Tink doing with her hands in your av? From the position and the look on her face, I can only guess.

She is holding her hands on her jiggler and farting. It delights her to no end.

:yahoo:

Ahh. Christmas break is so fantastic. The Geek family knows how to waste a good day. We recently acquired the Wii. Which is adorable. We had great fun making Miis of all our loved ones. I even made an Edward, Bella and Jacob (from the book Twilight. )

But I lost the remote to the TV for a while. Well, the couch ate it. Because the couch is equipped with two feet extender chairs and a fold out bed, sticking your hand in the crack is like trying to take dinner away from an alligator.

Ouchy.

And not very productive.

It doesn’t do the death roll thing, but you can tell it wants to.
Needless to say, the TV remote was, for all intensive purposes MIA.

So Geek did not have access to the machinery that worked her DVR.
Watching raw TV is Ridonkulous. And mind numbing. Commercials are such torture.

Yes.

I am a big baby.

But I noticed three products in particular that got my goat. Well, they grabbed my goat and wrestled him to the ground and tried to feed him to the alligator couch.

First was the “Snuggie, the blanket with sleeves!”

TqHSIiAXdSU

There is the commercial on you tube if you want to claw out your eyes.
It’s a blanket. With sleeves. For Pete’s bananas. These people are struggling with a blanket? They are so frustrated, they have to purchase a backwards facing robe to end their troubles?
Instead of say, putting their robe on backwards?

I hate the Snuggie. It's like a hospital gown for monks.

Next.

The CatGenie.

A $300 toliet for your cat. That you install right next to your very own toilet. It has sand in it and it “Flushes”.
I was so appalled and intrigued by this, I had to google it. I found it was for sale at Amazon.

Amazon.com: CatGenie-Self Washing, Self Flushing Cat Box: Kitchen & Dining (http://www.amazon.com/CatGenie-Self-.../dp/B000MKHQG4)

I had a lot of funny things to say about this device. Until I read the first above review, which totally made me wet my pants . So if you are up for a good laugh, read “Cat Lover” (Tampa, Florida)’s. It is work safe and kid friendly.

And lastly.

The Jitterbug phone.

Holy Guacamole. That phone is a riot. Now, don’t get me wrong, I see the beauty of it. I have my mother after all.

But seeing the service people say with a great, big smile, things like:

“Yes Mrs. Jones, I will dial that number for you!”

and

“Of course, Mrs. Smith, I will add that number to your contact list”

just seems wrong. These people’s ultimate job is to be the Options button on someone else's cell phone.

Again, out of all three I think the Jitterbug is the best for mankind.
After all this pontificating I realize I might just be scared. Scared that someday I will be talking to my Options button, wearing my robe backwards, while accidently taking a poop in my CatGenie.
Who do I think I’m kidding? It will be on purpose.

Back to Disney.

We were full. And we were leaving. The rain was letting up as we finally gave the MK a little goodbye pat on the behind. Seeing the castle get smaller as you pull away for the last time hurts. You know that it will keep getting smaller and smaller until it is only visible through your crying heart strings. Ok. It’s not that bad. But that Main Street is something else. Home away from Home. And I left it without the fudge to smother on my sad.

We head back to Epcot. We do the “running of the ramps” that Tickets and Transportation require. Down one ramp, Up another ramp, wait by the gate. Onto the monorail, which smells like horse dung. (Is that a cleaner they use or something? This time around it seemed that only a few of the monorails had the “Mr. Ed au de toilet” spritzed around.

Back down the exceedingly long ramps for Epcot. I remember those the best. When Grandma and Grandpa started taking me and my sister to Disney, I can only remember ramp shaped walls of humanity, waiting to get on the monorail after Epcot had closed. We know now to drive. There is rarely a wait to get in your own car. Magic Kingdom forces the 1982 lines to get out that I remember so clearly. But Epcot is not trying to give you the business.

The Geeks had promised to leave a little early. I don’t know why we lie to ourselves. We never leave a little early. We always wait until the very end. I am pretty sure at this point, the Waste Management game was closed.
I went back to our pictures to get some clues as to what we did next, but our pictures run out on the monorail .

Maybe TGS put his giant backpack away. It is a huge nightmare. When I have to hold it, which I try to avoid, it feels like he has ten bowling balls in there .

The sneaky free soda station was closed. We were headed towards the land. For our last ride of the trip. Soarin’ with a fast pass.
Up next was immense Disney drama. Line jumping, glaring, rude cast members and a crying Geek.

Thanks for the new chapter. Hope you had a great Christmas.

:howdy:Back at ya! Thanks for reading.

:smoochy: Thanks for the new installment!!

You are welcome! thanks for reading it!

:yahoo:

:smooch: :huggy:

But I noticed three products in particular that got my goat. Well, they grabbed my goat and wrestled him to the ground and tried to feed him to the alligator couch.

First was the “Snuggie, the blanket with sleeves!”

We have these for the kids in the camper :lol:


I'm having withdrawals so I've been researching the "What will you celebrate" promo. Did you know that if you already have a pass - season pass holder/ap or MYW ticket you can qualify for another birthday gift besides free park admission on your birthday?
- A special birthday FASTPASS® badge+ for certain attractions at the Theme Park you visit on your birthday; or
*The number of birthday FASTPASS badges issued is limited and may not be available after 11am. Valid Theme Park admission required. FASTPASS for birthday celebrant and up to 5 members of his/her party.- A 1-day Magic Your Way base ticket for you to use any time until your next birthday; or
- A birthday fun card in an amount equal to the price of a 1-day Magic Your Way base ticket* for you to use on your birthday for merchandise, recreation or fun activities at select participating locations at Walt Disney World® Resort.
*Ticket price at gate, excluding tax. Adults receive card in the amount of an adult ticket; children (ages 3-9) receive card in the amount of a child ticket.
*The Birthday Fun Card will be redeemable for merchandise purchased in Disney-owned and operated retail stores at the Walt Disney World Resort and will have no expiration date.
*** NOTE: This benefit was changed as of 12/31/08 -- previously it was announced that the Birthday Fun Card could only be used on your birthday.

Chapter 31

So my parents were visiting during Christmas. TGS took a visit up to New York to see his brother. Grandma and Grandpa agreed to stay with me until TGS had returned.

Having Grandma and Grandpa in your home is like trapping a set of tornadoes indoors. Except they leave things better then when they got there.

Or it could be that my whining still works on my father. Which means whining is powerful stuff ladies! Keep it up!
Since I have been married to TGS we have lived in one apartment and three houses. We have been married since 1997. Now, that makes us pretty frequent movers. Each home has had white walls. By the time we got around to painting them, we were moving.

So about 6 months ago my whining had reached epic proportions. I was complaining to anything that would hold still.
So my father got cans of paint, dug out a ladder and a roller brush. Two days later, My kitchen, living room, bathroom and hallway (including ceilings) were glistening with fresh paint.

My father paints with no tape, no drop cloth, no special tricks. I have three dogs, two kids and he had to deal with me and my doppelganger Mother, He is part Super hero.

And I love it! I have stopped the whining. TGS returned home like he had been hit by an HGTV network show in his absence. He loved the walls too.

The maple colored walls really bring out the quirky stuff I fell in love with when we bought this house. I have a weird layout, and big ceramic sink I could give a cow a bath in. Since he has been back, TGS painted my two deep red accent walls.

But not all surprise projects dealing with the Geek family have a happy ending. Mostly, I am talking about my mother. She raised my sister and I in the time before the internet. So she had nothing to keep her out of trouble. Vehicles were a big part of my family’s make up. My father always drove the beater vehicle to work, and my mother had the “good” car for her and the kids.

Now, my father prided himself on buying the cheapest vehicle he could find, the tail end of talking about it always included “but it runs great”. The offending car could have a 2 by 4 as a bumper, a hole in the floorboard, doors that didn’t actually close. But it ran great. (All afflictions actually existed!)

One such vehicle was a pick up truck. I do believe it was white. For my father’s work car, it was pretty decent. One day, home with mom, Dad had taken the good car to work. So the ugly truck was parked in front of the house. My sister and I were playing Little House in the Prairie on the front lawn (Mom had even sewed us our own bonnets). I remember thinking “Wow. What’s Mom doing with the paint from my sister’s room?” She set the pretty light blue color next to the ugly truck. Out of her pocket came her implement of evil. The paintbrush. My sister and I shrugged and continued in to town (the crab apple tree).

My mother looked at that ugly truck with one finger in her mouth. In our family, this is known as “the thinking finger”. Just like lightning before thunder, the finger came out before my mother had her way with a poor, defenseless, inanimate object.

She dipped the brush in the can and started to apply a fresh coat to the truck that could not run away.
The light blue did not make the truck any prettier. It did make my mom guiltier.

As it dried in the sun, it came to look like exactly what it was. A truck painted (hurriedly) with interior house paint from a little girl’s room (brushstrokes and all).

Poor Dad. I remember my sister and I waiting with baited breath to see what Dad would do. Mom was with us when Dad had his HGTV from hell moment.

He was surprised. He shook his head. But eventually, there was laughter. There was teasing.
And maybe that’s why they are still married for over 37 years.

You can’t get that paint off, by the way. So Dad had his little girl blue truck for a while. It ran great. It was even able to support the entire extended family from my Communion party. Gee whiz. There must have been a good twenty people in the bed of the truck. Dad was driving. My beloved mentally challenged Uncle Stanley was riding shotgun. Someone (probably my Poppy, knowing him) grabbed the American Flag from the house.

Dad proceeded to drive us all around the ritsy titsy neighborhood, up and down the giant hill/mountain we lived on. Flag was flying, all my relatives hooting and hollering in the bed of the truck.

I bet that I might be the only little girl that celebrated my Communion with a truck full of crazy.
Looking back now, as a full grown person I can’t help but be so proud of my parents. What a great example of how to live a day.

Well back to Disney.

We walk into a drippy Epcot. We had our fast passes to Soarin’. Our last planned ride for our Disney trip.
As we approached the Soarin’ entrance, we encountered a mob of people. You know the mob I am talking about. A group of usually young, very good-looking people following an adult with a flag. Maybe they were friends with the group that tried to join me in Casey’s on the hot dog stand.

I was watching the kids. And the crowd. I really dislike large group disruptions with the kids around. And for the most part, at Disney, you are faced with orderly crowds.

This group was trying to bum rush the Fast Pass chick. They had tickets that were allowing them to enter at a later time. There was a language barrier, and the crowd of people were getting rowdier. Another group began to form. Fast Pass holders that had the correctly timed tickets. We were all sort of off to the side, waiting for the flag crowd to clear. Up through all the crowd comes a very demanding lady. She was dragging her kids through the crowd, her husband was playing caboose. She jumped the line and pushed her family through. The angst filled crowd did not like this at all. A lot of grumbling commenced.

A few things happened at the same time. Flag crowd moved out of the way, the correct part of the line filed into the entrance, and I kept my group together. We walked into the line containment portion. I noticed a teenager behind me giving TGS the death stare. I noticed right in front of us were the rude line jumper family. This should be a great wait. At least fast pass is fast. It’s right there in the name.

45 minutes later, we could start to see the actual ride.
I would not have waited in line for free money for that long on our last day. I would have rather walked the park.
In the 45 minutes we waited, I realized that death stare teenager was furious at the Geeks. His group had gotten split up. Half of his group was ahead of the McRudes. The rest was behind us.
I said to the teenager “Hey, did your party get split up?”
He nodded yes, “We were with my family, up there”

“Well, please grab your group and go in front of us, and this family ahead of us.” I decided the rude family needed some good karma. Death stare turned into adorable smile. Happy noises were made as the group of about seven joined the rest up front.

I waited for the McRudes to complain. They didn’t. Their little girl started to play sweetly with DD.
Now, I have no mercy for line jumpers. But I realized after all these people weren’t demons. The two kids they had were polite and sweet. So maybe she was feeling overwhelmed at the crowds. Maybe this, like us, was the last ride.
45 minute Fast Pass waits should be illegal. By the time I got to the line chick, DD had chickened out. She no longer wanted to go on the ride.

I had a moment of inspiration. We could do the baby swap! Perfect. DS could see the ride twice and both TGS and I would get to ride.
I
mentioned this to the Soarin’ chick.
“
Well, mam, you need to get a ticket to do that. Go back to front of the line, get the ticket, and once you have it, wait in line again for your turn.”

I had never done the baby swap before. We always had grandparents and if they were not there, we would split up.
I took a deep breath. “That wait was over 45 minutes.”
The cast member gave me an “oh well” shrug.

I felt anger start to rise up from my toes to my head. Unfortunately, when I get angry, I tend to cry. Which makes me look less right, and more hysterical.

I turn to TGS, “Just take DS and ride” I stared watery daggers at snooty chick. Poor TGS, takes everything to heart, and begins to wonder if I am frustrated at him.
“Are you sure? I can take her.” He just wants to make it better.

So I walked out of the ride. The walk out when you are stomping mad is 79 miles long. And all the poor suckers still on line get to watch you snapping at your sweet daughter saying unDisney things like “I wish you would just ride it, you already went on once.”

I was still stomping as I came out of the ride. The Cast Member at the door called after me “Is everything alright? Can I help?”

If I wasn’t such a crying mad chick, I could have went to that reasonable sounding cast member and told her the story. For Pete’s sake, my Mother’s a cast member; I know they are supposed to try to make you have a good time, within reason. And helping me with the Baby swap and not making me wait another 45 minutes was well within her powers.

But I didn’t. I sat in the giant food court and scooped DD next to me.

I apologized. This was her last Disney day too. I was ashamed. I had no right to be upset that she decided she didn’t want to ride the ride.
We sat there together waiting for our boys.

Up Next: Can we possibly eat enough to make our Dining Plan show a Zero balance?

We have these for the kids in the camper :lol:


I'm having withdrawals so I've been researching the "What will you celebrate" promo. Did you know that if you already have a pass - season pass holder/ap or MYW ticket you can qualify for another birthday gift besides free park admission on your birthday?
- A special birthday FASTPASS® badge+ for certain attractions at the Theme Park you visit on your birthday; or
*The number of birthday FASTPASS badges issued is limited and may not be available after 11am. Valid Theme Park admission required. FASTPASS for birthday celebrant and up to 5 members of his/her party.- A 1-day Magic Your Way base ticket for you to use any time until your next birthday; or
- A birthday fun card in an amount equal to the price of a 1-day Magic Your Way base ticket* for you to use on your birthday for merchandise, recreation or fun activities at select participating locations at Walt Disney World® Resort.
*Ticket price at gate, excluding tax. Adults receive card in the amount of an adult ticket; children (ages 3-9) receive card in the amount of a child ticket.
*The Birthday Fun Card will be redeemable for merchandise purchased in Disney-owned and operated retail stores at the Walt Disney World Resort and will have no expiration date.
*** NOTE: This benefit was changed as of 12/31/08 -- previously it was announced that the Birthday Fun Card could only be used on your birthday.


My condolences on the snuggie :huggy: I love the birthday promotion. Makes you think the day is free :lmao:

What a pleasant surprise to wake up to another chapter this morning!! Thanks Geek!!

AWESOME. Thank you!

Can’t Make Is to Was

I find when I think about Poppy I can’t change is to was. I can’t make the transition that good sense dictates. John Hugh can’t have been. He can’t be in the past tense.

Maybe other people can. But other people did not live life with such relish. If people have flames that flicker and sputter out at the end of their time, Poppy had lava, that refuses to obey any rules. He knocks down walls, burns a path that could never be ignored. He leaves a legacy so strong it becomes part of the landscape. If he touched your life, you won’t forget it.

Lucky enough to be called a friend? Well, that was a treasure that would never lose its sparkle.

But if he loved you.

But if he loved you.

Then close your eyes and know, deep inside where your heart settles right next to your soul, he is right there.
You are chartered with a job. A job to take each day, and do something to celebrate being here.

Sing. Out loud.

Dance. To every song.

Laugh. Until you are gasping and crying.

Love. Like you will never leave.

If you are not having a good damn time, it’s your own damn fault.

What a pleasant surprise to wake up to another chapter this morning!! Thanks Geek!!
:buddies:


AWESOME. Thank you!

:huggy:

Yesterday morning, I got to see one of the fun tricks being 34 plays on you. I spied that apparently overnight, four longish chin hairs had decided to make an appearance. So, I started my hunt. For my good tweezers.

After years of plucking stray eyebrow hairs with a poorly designed pair, I had bought expensive tweezers. By expensive I mean over $3, but under $5.

The old pair of pluckers was the worst design ever. They had the rounded edges. The design team of crappy tweezers must have sat around trying to replicate the sensation of using two newborn baby’s tiny fists to grab a hair. Slippery, inaccurate, and frustrating.

After cursing a blue streak at them one day, I realized there must be a better design. And made a mental note to grab a nice pair next time I was at the store.

Two years after that, I remembered to buy them. My mental notes are like throwing a message in a bottle at the seashore. You have no idea when they will find you.

So I purchased the high-class pluckers, for high class random hairs. They were like two razor blades sodered onto a sleek pincer. I came home and waged war on my facial hair. Anything that glinted in my harsh bathroom light was whipped away. I went overboard. Who knew that some of the hair on your face denotes personality and expression?

I stepped away from my overzealous pluck mania. I was surprised. My face was as smooth as a newly painted wall. I stopped feeling surprised, but my face refused to calm down.

Too much, I had plucked too much of my eyebrows.

For about the next two weeks, I spent much of my time explaining to the other humans I encountered that I was ok. I was not just back from witnessing a ghost. I was not carrying a pile of tacks in my underwear.
By the time the eyebrows had resumed their shape, I had lost my new tweezers/razors. Maybe it was divine intervention.

I went back to the trusty newborn baby fist pluckers.

Because I was now too stubborn to go out and replace the expensive tweezers.

When the errant, offensive 34 year old chin hairs alarmed me in the mirror, I began the hunt. For the tweezers. Preferably, the ones that meant business. I could recall the smoothness that they had inflicted on me. While searching, I could not help but keep on stroking the new hairs like Col. Sanders thinking about fried chicken.

The hairs were so corse. I kept peeking in the mirror while ransacking my bathroom cabinet.

Oh My Dog! One of the four hairs is black! Black! I feel like my chin is giving me the finger. What kind of crazy hormone is turning one chin hair black?
I give up on finding the fabulous, lethal razor tweezers, the Angelina Jolie of pluckers, if you will. I start searching for the baby fist tweezers.

Anything will do!

I feel like there is a spotlight on my chin now. If I don’t get them plucked soon, they will turn into a full-fledged goatee. Baby fists are missing too.

Geek is ready to loose her plucking mind.

I spy out of my panicked eye, the toenail clippers. I seize them and run into my bedroom so I can get real close to the mirror.

Plucking chin hairs with a toenail clipper is tricky business. I wish I could say I have no experience with using toenail clippers for unconventional things, but you know and I know, I can’t.

Sometimes, I use them for scissors. Little, tiny inaccurate scissors.

So I line up the clippers and the hair. I bite my bottom lip and stick my chin out like Jay Leno. I close one eye.

TGS walks in and sees me.

TGS wisely walks right out again without saying anything.

I focus back on the hair. I try and pluck just before I clip. Because if I cut them, well, then I will just be trimming them back some. And that does not teach the hairs a lesson at all. Actually, trimming them makes them feel special and loved.

Turns out trying to judge the exact thickness of a chin hair is kind of hard. I wound up trimming them. Like a hedge. Or a Christmas tree.

Somebody remind me to buy expensive clippers again before the hair grows back.

Well, maybe I should talk about Disney.

Geek and DD were waiting for our boys to return from their trip on Soarin’. I had apologized to DD for being very unPrincess like to her. One of the things I love about TGS is that he insured that DS had a great ride despite his mother and sister having to leave. When we were all reunited, we knew it was time to leave. The party was over. Our Van was packed with all our things. We had checked out of POP Century hours before.

We still had an obscene amount of credit left on the various dining plans available to us. We headed into the Electric Umbrella. As we walked in, we were informed that they were closing. My very unDisney response was “Of course you are!” complete with the throwing of hands in the air.

The ending was turning into a bookend of the beginning of our trip.

Remember as we arrived in Disney we had the glitter in the jellybag incident?

Well, here at the end, we seemed to be running into the kicking you in the Jiggler on your way out incident.

First Soarin’ turning into a fiasco for some of us, and now we seemed to be flushing the rest of our dinning credits down a super flushing Disney toilet.

Deep, cleansing breaths. We are leaving Epcot. Our backs turned to the World Showcase, headed towards the big ball. I am looking down at the glowing bits of magical sidewalk, remembering the kids playing at night with their imagination and these very slabs of concrete.

No one likes leaving Disney. I like leaving Disney with a sour taste in my mouth even less.

And all of a sudden the sky lights up like Santa combusting with the dawn. The Geeks turn around to realize that they happened to be the perfect distance from the fireworks. Plenty close to see the little flecks of sparkle from each stream of light, but not close enough that the crack from the detention makes you pee a little.

All the people around us stop and turn as well.

Fireworks. Pretty explosions. I love that we are all simple enough to turn around for a moment, and be delighted. Did you ever notice you don’t think a lot during fireworks? Just a few words maybe.

Kids.

Happy.

Together.

Just a few words are enough to put a tear in your eye, and then you turn your face towards the smoky sky and wait. Wait for what is next to see.
So we huddled together and watched Disney’s goodbye.
We walked out of the park. Head back to the overstuffed van, buckle everyone in.

We are ready to go when it happens.

Geek gets an idea. She turns to TGS.
Me~ “Hey, POP Century’s food court is open until 12:00 a.m.”
TGS raises an eyebrow.
Me~ “Maybe they will let us in to use up our credits there?”
Now, we had checked out.
We had said our goodbyes.

What would retracing the walk of shame be like?

Well, it turns out it is like burying your beloved pet hamster. And then digging that poor sucker up and popping his carcass in his exercise ball for one more quick trip down the stairs.

Up Next: What does it feel like to rip the bandage off the wound too soon? Will the Geeks even get back in to POP?

As always, thanks Geek!! :yahoo: Don't leave us hanging too long!!

One ply Toilet paper. Wow. You didn’t know you could still buy it right? Well, guess what?

I bought a whole sackful of it at Wal Mart. I have been using toilet paper for as long as I can remember, but I never developed a preference. A favorite team, if you will. I never sat there and thought, “Now, this is the paper for me!” Like you do sometimes with sodas or nail polish. Or men.

I have noticed that sometimes T.P. can be dusty. Which is weird. I have noticed that some times the roll seems a little skimpy. It is good for two number ones and one number two.

I think the dancing bear and his cub are cute with their little tushies. But I can’t remember if that is a brand is any good.

Some of it is so gosh darn expensive. Is there a little leprechaun tucked in the cardboard roll? Does he grant your every wish if you can catch him?

So, I grabbed a sack and threw it in my cart. When this one ply brand first made its appearance on our dispenser, it looked good.

Not dusty.

Not overly quilted.

Not too skimpy.

It had promise.

Until I tried to use it.

One Ply. Seriously? Is there any job involving your situation that would only require one ply? A dainty dumper? I guess it is possible.
When winding up the one ply, I had trouble shaking the impression that I was using cotton candy to get the job done.

It was wimpy. I would imagine that this type of paper would be great in prisons. We are, after all, punishing those people for crap’s sake.
Butt, Wal Mart sells it. And I bought it. I can’t remember the name of it, so I am going to assume that I will buy it again.

The other thing that I noticed is that my horrible cocker spaniel is a sucker. She steals anything that is in a crinkly sealed package (think fruit chews or granola bar) and hides with it. She stuffs it in her giant mupplet paws and pastes the guiltiest look you have ever seen on her bear-like face. She sucks on the package. Trying to get to the treats through some sort of absorption method. She has yet to figure out that she can bite right into the package to achieve her goal.
She is so weird.


So back to Disney.
Back to Pop.

Back to eating.

Because we don’t want to leave one stinking dining credit unused.
TGS explained our dilemma to the guy that lives in the little gatehouse with the clipboard. He sees the beauty in our little evil plan, so he waves us in.

We park in the losers’ lot. Didn’t know about the losers’ lot? It’s the what the check-in parking turns into when you are not checking in, or even having the good sense to be checking out.

We get out. The walk of shame is bad enough. Packing up all your stinking stuff and all the crazy nutmare full of souvenirs that you couldn’t live without. It hurts.

But this going back. All packed up, Parks closed behind you, to the hotel you called home. Well, that is just like dipping a cut in vinegar and then putting salt on it.

Remember the Hamster analogy? The digging up your dead hamster and giving on more roll down the stairs in the exercise ball?

Well. It’s just like that. Sad. Bouncy. And a little funny.

Or worse yet. Flushing a pet fish Swimmy down the toilet and then having the funeral back up on you. Grabbing the nearby plunger and attacking the backup with the ferociousness of a woman possessed. With sweet Swimmy getting sucked violently in and out, disappearing and appearing like a little, tiny David Blaine lived in the pipes of the toilet. While the kids watch in horror.

That fish story is obviously too ridiculous to really have occurred in any loving Mother’s home. And defiantly not mine.

So we were Swimmy . The dining credits were our plunger. We were getting sucked in and out of Pop.

The kids are confused. Are we going to spring a super secret extra few nights on them?

“No, Virginia, there is no extra Disney time.” We were just torturing them. We walked back into the POP food court. I ordered another chicken encrusted in something wonderful. TGS had something he liked, the kids each got a full meal. We grabbed enough prepackaged snacks to get rid of those credits.

We sat in a huge booth. And we sucked on our food. Just like our horrible Spaniel. With the same look on our faces.

We finished up our last bite of Disney. Funny how those snacks didn’t taste nearly as good when we were off property. I think Disney loads them with the same dye they put in the bank robbers sack of money. Exploding all the yummyness out of it as soon as you see regular green road signs again.
The kids were tucked in their seats. No Tinkerbell farts. No happy presents. TGS and I start reminiscing about our trip. We start talking about me writing this very trip report. We make plans to come again.

The toilet was finally flushed . The hamster, finally buried.

The good news for us is that we still had a few days with Grandma and Grandpa in their retirement community, which is more like a cruise then anything else. They have so many pools and hot tubs it is insulting to those of us that are still working.


Up Next Summary and Review. What have we learned from Holy Mother of Fudge!

As always, thanks Geek!! :yahoo: Don't leave us hanging too long!!

Was that too long? :huggy:

Was that too long? :huggy:

Nope! Right on time!! :huggy:

As always awesome. I loved every minute of it! Thank you for taking the time out of your life to write and post this you have an amaing talent!