1. I was walking through the cemetery this morning and saw a guy crouching down behind a tombstone. I said "morning." He said "No just taking a crap."

2. When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bike. Then I realized that the Lord doesn't work that way, so I stole a bike and asked him to forgive me.

3. My girlfriend was in labor with our first child. She was shouting out "get this out of me? Give me the drugs." She looked at me and said, "You did this to me you bastard," I casually replied, "If you would care to remember, I wanted to stick it up your butt but you said "it'll be too painful."

4. I went to an extremely attractive female doctor today for my annual checkup and she told me that I had to quit masturbating. I asked why and she told me, "Because I am trying to examine you." this had to have been bcp...

5. I was walking down the road today in Rudgate Trailer Park and saw my Afghanistan neighbor Abdul standing by his trailer shaking a carpet. I shouted out to him, "What's up Abdul, won't it start?"

Why did I click this tread...:doh:

You are so getting a timeout for this one...:jerry:

1. I was walking through the cemetery this morning and saw a guy crouching down behind a tombstone. I said "morning." He said "No just taking a sh!t."

2. When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bike. Then I realized that the Lord doesn't work that way, so I stole a bike and asked him to forgive me.

3. My girlfriend was in labor with our first child. She was shouting out "get this out of me? Give me the drugs." She looked at me and said, "You did this to me you bastard," I casually replied, "If you would care to remember, I wanted to stick it up your a$$ but you said "it'll be too painful."

4. I went to an extremely attractive female doctor today for my annual checkup and she told me that I had to quit masturbating. I asked why and she told me, "Because I am trying to examine you." this had to have been bcp...

5. I was walking down the road today in Rudgate Trailer Park and saw my Afghanistan neighbor Abdul standing by his trailer shaking a carpet. I shouted out to him, "What's up Abdul, won't it start?"



all good, but the last two had me :roflmao:

:killingme

:yay:

:killingme:

My office mates think I've lost my mind..

:jerry:

4 & 5 are :killingme:killingme:killingme

Hysterical :killingme<?xml:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office" /><o:p></o:p>

I guess we all better cut, paste and forward this to ourselves before it disappears. :killingme:killingme:killingme