Here it goes:

I'm currently married. Have been for 12 yrs this coming Nov.
My marriage is crap. Has been for a while.

Whats the process for separation? Of course, I would like to stay in the house with the children. I live in Calvert county.

Is it as simple as filing papers at the Calvert County courthouse? What do i file?

Here it goes:

I'm currently married. Have been for 12 yrs this coming Nov.
My marriage is crap. Has been for a while.

Whats the process for separation? Of course, I would like to stay in the house with the children. I live in Calvert county.

Is it as simple as filing papers at the Calvert County courthouse? What do i file?

Do you think it will be an amicable split?

If yes, you can go to the court and do it all yourself, and if he goes with you, you can save months of time. You really don't HAVE to file for a seperation, but for a divorce you must say, and have a witness to verify, that you have been physically seperated for two years. There are other ways too, but the seperation is the easiest (I think anyways). Court house has all the documentation you need to file, and instructions on how to do it. You would save THOUSANDS of dollars by DIY.

If it's not going to be amicable get a lawyer.

Do you think it will be an amicable split?

If yes, you can go to the court and do it all yourself, and if he goes with you, you can save months of time. You really don't HAVE to file for a seperation, but for a divorce you must say, and have a witness to verify, that you have been physically seperated for two years. There are other ways too, but the seperation is the easiest (I think anyways). Court house has all the documentation you need to file, and instructions on how to do it. You would save THOUSANDS of dollars by DIY.

If it's not going to be amicable get a lawyer.One year.

Do you think it will be an amicable split?

If yes, you can go to the court and do it all yourself, and if he goes with you, you can save months of time. You really don't HAVE to file for a seperation, but for a divorce you must say, and have a witness to verify, that you have been physically seperated for two years. There are other ways too, but the seperation is the easiest (I think anyways). Court house has all the documentation you need to file, and instructions on how to do it. You would save THOUSANDS of dollars by DIY.

If it's not going to be amicable get a lawyer.

Once again, itsbob is right! :diva: I know someone who had to divorce his first wife before he could marry me, and he did it all himself for like $200. He may have gotten the forms online.

One year.

Don't konw if it's changed or there is different criteria, but we had to testify that we had been living apart for two years.. but that was the ONLY criteria we used for our divorce.

One year.

Oh, yeah, I think itsbob might be wrong about that part. The streak is over! :faint:

Here it goes:

I'm currently married. Have been for 12 yrs this coming Nov.
My marriage is crap. Has been for a while.

Whats the process for separation? Of course, I would like to stay in the house with the children. I live in Calvert county.

Is it as simple as filing papers at the Calvert County courthouse? What do i file?Sorry to hear that. :huggy:


Are you chubby?
Who's your driver?
What kind of bike do you ride?
What's your favorite beer?

Do you think it will be an amicable split?

If yes, you can go to the court and do it all yourself, and if he goes with you, you can save months of time. You really don't HAVE to file for a seperation, but for a divorce you must say, and have a witness to verify, that you have been physically seperated for two years. There are other ways too, but the seperation is the easiest (I think anyways). Court house has all the documentation you need to file, and instructions on how to do it. You would save THOUSANDS of dollars by DIY.

If it's not going to be amicable get a lawyer.

I don't think its going to be amicable. I don't even know if it will end in divorce. I just wan't us to separate, and figure out what it is that we really want. My concern, is that he won't leave. As a matter of fact, I know he won't.
Basically, I wan't the courts to make him vacate the house, while we figure things out. I'm not sure if that sounds silly, but its the best I can explain it.

Once again, itsbob is right! :diva: I know someone who had to divorce his first wife before he could marry me, and he did it all himself for like $200. He may have gotten the forms online.

And now we're married!! :smoochy:

Don't konw if it's changed or there is different criteria, but we had to testify that we had been living apart for two years.. but that was the ONLY criteria we used for our divorce.I have to also say I don't know if it's changed but I do know that 11 years ago it was one year. :lmao:

I don't think its going to be amicable. I don't even know if it will end in divorce. I just wan't us to separate, and figure out what it is that we really want. My concern, is that he won't leave. As a matter of fact, I know he won't.
Basically, I wan't the courts to make him vacate the house, while we figure things out. I'm not sure if that sounds silly, but its the best I can explain it.

In that case, he who draws blood first wins..

I don't think its going to be amicable. I don't even know if it will end in divorce. I just wan't us to separate, and figure out what it is that we really want. My concern, is that he won't leave. As a matter of fact, I know he won't.
Basically, I wan't the courts to make him vacate the house, while we figure things out. I'm not sure if that sounds silly, but its the best I can explain it.
psssttt..... :gossip: There's no apostrophe in "want".

Oh, yeah, I think itsbob might be wrong about that part. The streak is over! :faint:

Now you want me to streak too?? :buddies:

psssttt..... :gossip: There's no apostrophe in "want".

:killingme

Sorry to hear that. :huggy:


Are you chubby?
Who's your driver?
What kind of bike do you ride?
What's your favorite beer?

Nope.
Is that really even a question? Tony Stewart of course~!
2004 Springer Softail
BudLight

Anything else? lol

Oh, yeah, I think itsbob might be wrong about that part. The streak is over! :faint:

Under Maryland law, there are two kinds of "no-fault" divorce. After 1 year of mutual and voluntary separation, with no hope or expectation of reconciliation, either party can obtain an absolute divorce. "Mutual and voluntary" means that both parties agreed to separate, that they did so without any coercion or threat, and that they intended to end their marriage. After 2 years of separation for any reason, either spouse can obtain an absolute divorce. (Even a philandering and abusive spouse who stays away for 2 years is entitled to a divorce.)

We were both right.. I'm still sreaking!!:cds:

psssttt..... :gossip: There's no apostrophe in "want".

Guess that blew my chances huh? :killingme

Nope.
Is that really even a question? Tony Stewart of course~!
2004 Springer Softail
BudLight

Anything else? lol

Softail?? Strike one..

She understood what queStion 2 was asking. Strike 2.. (I would have guessed he was fishing to see if she was rich enough to have a chauffer)

AND BUDLIGHT?? :cds:

I just went through this myself. All we did was write up a seperation aggrement and then had it notarized. In Maryland, you have to be seprated for one year before you can get divorced. After our year was up, we went to the courthouse together (like bob said, that saves alot of time) filed the paperwork and waited for our court date. It took about 4 months, we went to court, and our divorce was final. You will need a witness to testify that you two haven't spent the night under the same roof for a year and no sexual relations with each other. My divorce cost us $105. If you have any questions, let me know.

Don't konw if it's changed or there is different criteria, but we had to testify that we had been living apart for two years.. but that was the ONLY criteria we used for our divorce.

One year for me in 2000.

Nope.
Is that really even a question? Tony Stewart of course~!
2004 Springer Softail
BudLight

Anything else? lolBusy Saturday? :buddies:

Softail?? Strike one..

She understood what queation 2 was asking. Strike 2.. (I would have guessed he was fishing to see if she was rich enough to have a chauffer)

AND BUDLIGHT?? :cds:

Tough bunch!

Anyway, Basically what your saying is : One of us has to leave, and be gone for a year, PRIOR to filing any papers?

I just went through this myself. All we did was write up a seperation aggrement and then had it notarized. In Maryland, you have to be seprated for one year before you can get divorced. After our year was up, we went to the courthouse together (like bob said, that saves alot of time) filed the paperwork and waited for our court date. It took about 4 months, we went to court, and our divorce was final. You will need a witness to testify that you two haven't spent the night under the same roof for a year and no sexual relations with each other. My divorce cost us $105. If you have any questions, let me know.

The separation agreement is where I'm going to have problems. I know he isnt going to want (without the ' ) to leave. If I leave, is that going to hurt me when it comes to the court process?

Tough bunch!

Anyway, Basically what your saying is : One of us has to leave, and be gone for a year, PRIOR to filing any papers?

We are talking about the final divorce.. in your case if he doesn't want it, then the 2 years applies.

If you want a seperation you can file today..

The separation agreement is where I'm going to have problems. I know he isnt going to want (without the ' ) to leave. If I leave, is that going to hurt me when it comes to the court process?

In your case.. good question for a lawyer.

Tough bunch!

Anyway, Basically what your saying is : One of us has to leave, and be gone for a year, PRIOR to filing any papers?

No. Clock starts ticking when you separate. BUT, you need proof (documents, eyewitness that can testify for you, etc..) to document when it happened.

Basically, I wan't the courts to make him vacate the house, while we figure things out. I'm not sure if that sounds silly, but its the best I can explain it.

IMHO, you are the one that wants out... you should vacate. Doesn't that sound like the fair thing to do...:shrug:

Here it goes:

I'm currently married. Have been for 12 yrs this coming Nov.
My marriage is crap. Has been for a while.

Whats the process for separation? Of course, I would like to stay in the house with the children. I live in Calvert county.

Is it as simple as filing papers at the Calvert County courthouse? What do i file?
Do you own your home?

If so, I believe that if you have the children as the custodial parent, you can stay in the house for 3 years, then the sale or buyout must take place.

The separation agreement is where I'm going to have problems. I know he isnt going to want (without the ' ) to leave. If I leave, is that going to hurt me when it comes to the court process?

It may. He could claim you abandoned him but only a lawyer can answer that accurately.

Wanna see my Electroglide UltraClassic?

We are talking about the final divorce.. in your case if he doesn't want it, then the 2 years applies.

If you want a seperation you can file today..

Wonderful. I've looked online but haven't been able to find info on HOW to file for separation. I only see info on how to file for divorce AFTER being separated. I assume the courts would have these forms. Guess I will see tomorrow.

Thanks so much for all the info!

It may. He could claim you abandoned him but only a lawyer can answer that accurately.

Wanna see my Electroglide UltraClassic?

I like to ride my softail..






Can't wait until she gets home..

Busy Saturday? :buddies:
Good thinking!

Adultery leads to a quickie divorce, right? :jet:

quickie

You got the same memo about Mikey that I did...huh? :ohwell:

Good thinking!

Adultery leads to a quickie divorce, right? :jet:I'm here to .....help. :biggrin:

Good thinking!

Adultery leads to a quickie divorce, right? :jet:

But they need proof.. so a photographer maybe in order..

You got the same memo about Mikey that I did...huh? :ohwell:
K_Jo wrote that when she was drunk! :mad:

Do you own your home?

If so, I believe that if you have the children as the custodial parent, you can stay in the house for 3 years, then the sale or buyout must take place.

Yes, we own our home.

Here it goes:

I'm currently married. Have been for 12 yrs this coming Nov.
My marriage is crap. Has been for a while.

Whats the process for separation? Of course, I would like to stay in the house with the children. I live in Calvert county.

Is it as simple as filing papers at the Calvert County courthouse? What do i file?


Apparently no one here would dare suggest such an idea so I simply must do so myself.

Perhaps you might try seeking out some marriage counseling? or try talking to a Priest or Minister? or just quit arguing with your husband?

And Children need their Dad, and not in a separated housing.

And a divorce will harm the children with no way around that.

And getting another Man will only carry the same old problems to the next Man, and the children will not appreciate some new fake Dad either.

No matter how easy a divorce is - it will destroy your life and that of your entire family, and your entire extended family will be harmed by it too.

Those "friends" trying to "help" you to get a divorce have ulterior motives.


.

IMHO, you are the one that wants out... you should vacate. Doesn't that sound like the fair thing to do...:shrug:

Fair, yes. However, he has a place to go. I do not. Plus, I think it would be best for the kids to reside in the home.

K_Jo wrote that when she was drunk! :mad:

All I know is she said she told you she wanted you the rock the man in the boat and you jumped up and ran down to the Wicomico Shores marina. :doh:

Those "friends" trying to "help" you to get a divorce have ulterior motives.


.

I'm not a "friend" as I don't even know this person, but please do share.. what would my "ulterior motives" be??

Moron.

Just because you couldn't be a man and do the right thing for your family and be an ADULT, doesn't mean EVERYone is as screwed up as you.

All I know is she said she told you she wanted you the rock the man in the boat and you jumped up and ran down to the Wicomico Shores marina. :doh:I know right! And the dude wasn't even there! :mad:

Apparently no one here would dare suggest such an idea so I simply must do so myself.

Perhaps you might try seeking out some marriage counseling? or try talking to a Priest or Minister? or just quit arguing with your husband?

And Children need their Dad, and not in a separated housing.

And a divorce will harm the children with no way around that.

And getting another Man will only carry the same old problems to the next Man, and the children will not appreciate some new fake Dad either.

No matter how easy a divorce is - it will destroy your life and that of your entire family, and your entire extended family will be harmed by it too.

Those "friends" trying to "help" you to get a divorce have ulterior motives.


.

Please point out mine.

Fair, yes. However, he has a place to go. I do not. Plus, I think it would be best for the kids to reside in the home.

In all seriousness, I didn't say you should take them with you. Is he a good father? Is he active in their lives? What if he wants to be custodian and you have visitation... seriously... will he be willing to leave them?

It may. He could claim you abandoned him but only a lawyer can answer that accurately.

You are correct about that. My wife wanted me to leave the house for a few weeks at first, I talked to a lawyer and that is what he told me. He said make sure you don't leave that house because that is what she would have most likely tried to get me for, abandonment.

Apparently no one here would dare suggest such an idea so I simply must do so myself.

Perhaps you might try seeking out some marriage counseling? or try talking to a Priest or Minister? or just quit arguing with your husband?

And Children need their Dad, and not in a separated housing.

And a divorce will harm the children with no way around that.

And getting another Man will only carry the same old problems to the next Man, and the children will not appreciate some new fake Dad either.

No matter how easy a divorce is - it will destroy your life and that of your entire family, and your entire extended family will be harmed by it too.

Those "friends" trying to "help" you to get a divorce have ulterior motives.


.

Is a marriage counselor going to MAKE me WANT to be married? No. Been there done that.

Having my children live in a home where their parents are contantly fighting, seems a little less healthy, than being raised by two parents who divorce.

Who said ANYTHING about another man?

I know right! And the dude wasn't even there! :mad:

The DUDE???? Not the DUDETTE ?????

In all seriousness, I didn't say you should take them with you. Is he a good father? Is he active in their lives? What if he wants to be custodian and you have visitation... seriously... will he be willing to leave them?

Sorry if I seemed snappy.

He would NOT want to keep the kids. Yes, he would be willing to leave them.

The DUDE???? Not the DUDETTE ?????Men always run the marina. Sheesh! :duh:

Is a marriage counselor going to MAKE me WANT to be married? No. Been there done that.

Having my children live in a home where their parents are contantly fighting, seems a little less healthy, than being raised by two parents who divorce.

Who said ANYTHING about another man?Ignore that blathering idiot. Put him on ignore.

I apologize for everyone getting bashed by trying to help answer my questions.

Thanks again for all the info.

So he doesn't want to have custody of the kids, but he doesn't want to seperate? :confused:

You (and him) need a lawyer.

So he doesn't want to have custody of the kids, but he doesn't want to seperate? :confused:

You (and him) need a lawyer.

Agreed.

So he doesn't want to have custody of the kids, but he doesn't want to seperate? :confused:

You (and him) need a lawyer.

Agreed.

Actually, you and him both need lawyers.

Actually, you and him both need lawyers.
Yep. Your first step would be to retain a lawyer.

J, my line of questioning was to determine if he was the type of father that would rather step up and take the lead role rather than be a weekend dad. I know several men who have successfully done so. A woman can't assume she gets to make all the decisions and that it will be her way or no way. Are you prepared for a fight if he surprises you?

Another thing... 12 years into a marriage is not an easy or necessarily happy time. I know you are probably not open to thinking about it at this point... but my first recommendation to you would be to do some soul searching and to really make sure you are not the reason you are unhappy... not really him.

I don't think its going to be amicable. I don't even know if it will end in divorce. I just wan't us to separate, and figure out what it is that we really want. My concern, is that he won't leave. As a matter of fact, I know he won't.
Basically, I wan't the courts to make him vacate the house, while we figure things out. I'm not sure if that sounds silly, but its the best I can explain it.

You sound hot!

Under Maryland law, there are two kinds of "no-fault" divorce. After 1 year of mutual and voluntary separation, with no hope or expectation of reconciliation, either party can obtain an absolute divorce. "Mutual and voluntary" means that both parties agreed to separate, that they did so without any coercion or threat, and that they intended to end their marriage. After 2 years of separation for any reason, either spouse can obtain an absolute divorce. (Even a philandering and abusive spouse who stays away for 2 years is entitled to a divorce.)

We were both right.. I'm still sreaking!!:cds:

If Ubangi the clock resets :yay:

Yep. Your first step would be to retain a lawyer.

J, my line of questioning was to determine if he was the type of father that would rather step up and take the lead role rather than be a weekend dad. I know several men who have successfully done so. A woman can't assume she gets to make all the decisions and that it will be her way or no way. Are you prepared for a fight if he surprises you?

Another thing... 12 years into a marriage is not an easy or necessarily happy time. I know you are probably not open to thinking about it at this point... but my first recommendation to you would be to do some soul searching and to really make sure you are not the reason you are unhappy... not really him.
You are a woman who knows her place. I like that. :love:

Yep. Your first step would be to retain a lawyer.

J, my line of questioning was to determine if he was the type of father that would rather step up and take the lead role rather than be a weekend dad. I know several men who have successfully done so. A woman can't assume she gets to make all the decisions and that it will be her way or no way. Are you prepared for a fight if he surprises you?

Another thing... 12 years into a marriage is not an easy or necessarily happy time. I know you are probably not open to thinking about it at this point... but my first recommendation to you would be to do some soul searching and to really make sure you are not the reason you are unhappy... not really him.

I really didn't want to throw everything out there, but in order to get helpful advice, I guess I have to. (I'm not saying the advice given hasn't been helpful)

My husband and I fight about the children. It's the ONLY thing we fight about.It's sad. He's been a wonderful husband, provider and friend, but a terrible father.

He does nothing with our kids. Unless, he wants something from me. He knows the way to my heart is through my kids. He's contantly yelling and critisizing them. The strange part: it doesn't seem to get to them, as much as it gets to me. It breaks my heart to see them treated like that. Let me clarify, that he is NOT physically abusive in any way.

I do love him. But, it's time for me to start looking out for what's in the best interest for them. He seems to be "better" with them and more "into" them, when he's not living here.

Trust me, I have done soul searching. Many times. It keeps coming back to : I feel like staying with him for the financial security, is being selfish. It's my kids lives Im concerned about. I want them to have a happy childhood. I'm just not sure how to go about this, without hurting them more. They do love their dad.

You are a woman who knows her place. I like that. :love:
In all honesty most women will remain discontent until they come to the realization that they and only THEY are solely responsible for their happiness in life. No man, child, money nor career can do this for them... all a man, child, money or career can do is compliment a situation. If the soup is sour... blame the ingredients of the soup...not the crackers.

Fair, yes. However, he has a place to go. I do not. Plus, I think it would be best for the kids to reside in the home.Young lady first, don't take any advice from VoteJP. He is a complete moron as anyone here can tell you. Second, get a lawyer and get your counseling from him or her. That's the best advice I can offer.

In all honesty most women will remain discontent until they come to the realization that they and only THEY are solely responsible for their happiness in life. No man, child, money nor career can do this for them... all a man, child, money or career can do is compliment a situation. If the soup is sour... blame the ingredients of the soup...not the crackers.Huh?

He does nothing with our kids. Unless, he wants something from me. He knows the way to my heart is through my kids. He's contantly yelling and critisizing them. The strange part: it doesn't seem to get to them, as much as it gets to me. It breaks my heart to see them treated like that. Let me clarify, that he is NOT physically abusive in any way.

I do love him. But, it's time for me to start looking out for what's in the best interest for them. He seems to be "better" with them and more "into" them, when he's not living here.

Trust me, I have done soul searching. Many times. It keeps coming back to : I feel like staying with him for the financial security, is being selfish. It's my kids lives Im concerned about. I want them to have a happy childhood. I'm just not sure how to go about this, without hurting them more. They do love their dad.

You've really made this easy now! J! You've got the power! You can only control your actions... you have no control of him. You need to get a life. Join a yoga class or something and TELL him you will not be home on such and such nights during such and such ours and the kids are HIS responsibility. And then YOU STICK TO IT. If you are going grocery shopping... you leave the kids with him. When he is home on weekends, up and announce you have errands to run and he has the kids.... then go do something.

He does nothing for the kids because you enable him to do so. What is the worst that can happen? He can say, "F... this! I'm leaving!" If so, then you have your out. But what if... what if he wakes up and actually steps up? He may just surprise you.

Don't make it a game. You can't raise your voice, you can't argue about your plans, you can't go do something that might hurt the situation or just to spite him. You have to truly go do something for yourself and walk away and let him learn to be the dad you and your kids need him to be.

Young lady first, don't take any advice from VoteJP. He is a complete moron as anyone here can tell you. Second, get a lawyer and get your counseling from him or her. That's the best advice I can offer.

:yeahthat:

Have an affair. That will get the process going real quick. :lol:

You've really made this easy now! J! You've got the power! You can only control your actions... you have no control of him. You need to get a life. Join a yoga class or something and TELL him you will not be home on such and such nights during such and such ours and the kids are HIS responsibility. And then YOU STICK TO IT. If you are going grocery shopping... you leave the kids with him. When he is home on weekends, up and announce you have errands to run and he has the kids.... then go do something.

He does nothing for the kids because you enable him to do so. What is the worst that can happen? He can say, "F... this! I'm leaving!" If so, then you have your out. But what if... what if he wakes up and actually steps up? He may just surprise you.

Don't make it a game. You can't raise your voice, you can't argue about your plans, you can't go do something that might hurt the situation or just to spite him. You have to truly go do something for yourself and walk away and let him learn to be the dad you and your kids need him to be.

Wow. You make it sound so simple, lol.

When I do go out, whether it be work or with a friend, he does NOT step up to the plate and interact with the kids. (our girls are 13 and 10) He goes back into the bedroom, shuts the door and watches TV. The kids constantly call me on my cell phone and ask "when are you coming home" or " Daddy's sleeping" or "Daddy's mad". It's bullsh*t. I feel like I am punishing the kids when I leave them there.
The only thing that changes when I do go out with my friends...is now We start arguing.
Maybe I need to tell him what I expect while I am gone? Haven't done that before.

Have an affair. That will get the process going real quick. :lol:
I already asked her to go out with us this weekend. Where you wanna take her?

I already asked her to go out with us this weekend. Where you wanna take her?

Ruddy Duck, silly! Shots of Patron are on you! :love:

Ruddy Duck, silly! Shots of Patron are on you! :love:Ok I'll pay but y'all drink um. I'm stickin to beer.

Ruddy Duck, silly! Shots of Patron are on you! :love:

Shots on him.... that gives a whole new recipe for hairy navel...:twitch:

Shots on him.... that gives a whole new recipe for hairy navel...:twitch:

:snort: :killingme

Shots on him.... that gives a whole new recipe for hairy navel...:twitch:
I like this. :really:

Nope.
Is that really even a question? Tony Stewart of course~!
2004 Springer Softail
BudLight

Anything else? lol

You just triggered a red alert on all the SOMD zip codes on Match.com.

You just triggered a red alert on all the SOMD zip codes on Match.com.

:roflmao:

:roflmao:

The sound all throughout the hood......You've got mail!

I really didn't want to throw everything out there, but in order to get helpful advice, I guess I have to. (I'm not saying the advice given hasn't been helpful)

My husband and I fight about the children. It's the ONLY thing we fight about.It's sad. He's been a wonderful husband, provider and friend, but a terrible father.

He does nothing with our kids. Unless, he wants something from me. He knows the way to my heart is through my kids. He's contantly yelling and critisizing them. The strange part: it doesn't seem to get to them, as much as it gets to me. It breaks my heart to see them treated like that. Let me clarify, that he is NOT physically abusive in any way.

I do love him. But, it's time for me to start looking out for what's in the best interest for them. He seems to be "better" with them and more "into" them, when he's not living here.

Trust me, I have done soul searching. Many times. It keeps coming back to : I feel like staying with him for the financial security, is being selfish. It's my kids lives Im concerned about. I want them to have a happy childhood. I'm just not sure how to go about this, without hurting them more. They do love their dad.

I will never get this. one party wants the other (who is payign the bills) to leave the home.....
If you really want out, get out and work on the custody issue. I garuntee that he will want custody when you say you are leaving and want him to vacate to allow you to raise the children in the home he is paying for....

.


Red Alert, red alert ...



Is a marriage counselor going to MAKE me WANT to be married? No. Been there done that.


No, but a counselor or Minister might remind you of your duty.

And the idea is to take the husband along, so the Counselor might influence the husband in a positive way.



Having my children live in a home where their parents are constantly fighting, seems a little less healthy, than being raised by two parents who divorce.


When one parent stops arguing then both stop at the same time.

If you stop your side of the arguing then both sides stop.



Who said ANYTHING about another man?


Red Alert, red alert ... = are the words of another.

.

Wow. You make it sound so simple, lol.

When I do go out, whether it be work or with a friend, he does NOT step up to the plate and interact with the kids. (our girls are 13 and 10) He goes back into the bedroom, shuts the door and watches TV. The kids constantly call me on my cell phone and ask "when are you coming home" or " Daddy's sleeping" or "Daddy's mad". It's bullsh*t. I feel like I am punishing the kids when I leave them there.
The only thing that changes when I do go out with my friends...is now We start arguing.
Maybe I need to tell him what I expect while I am gone? Haven't done that before.

Why can't he watch tv? He's grown. Your kids are 10 and 13, surely they have interests that don't require daddy holding their hands. Do they eat? Are they safe? If so cut the apron strings, tell them to stop calling.

If whatever he's not doing so important to be done why aren't you the one there doing it? People have different parenting styles. What do you expect him to do while you're gone and who will be doing it when you separate?

our girls are 13 and 10

You said you've been married 11 years (12 in Nov). Is the oldest child his? I ask because it sounds like he could be harboring some resentment.

A. the child isn't his so he feels no need to be a father
B. the child is his and feels like he was "trapped" into marrying you

and I'm not saying you trapped him. I'm just trying to figure out why he doesn't want to be a father to his two girls. Unless of course, he's just a POS.

Does your house have a basement or extra bedroom? I ask because I've read many couples are currently living in the same house and still going through the divorce process but because of the recession can not afford to live apart.

If you can, I'd advise you to retain a lawyer if you can afford it. You will get your best course of action through him/her.

BTW, I had to be legally separated for 1 year before I could file for divorce. Separated in April 97, divorce final Nov 98. If either party is committing adultery, you can file for the divorce after 3 months of separation. I actually filed 6 months into our separation, and it still took a total of a year and a half for it to be finalized.

Why can't he watch tv? He's grown. Your kids are 10 and 13, surely they have interests that don't require daddy holding their hands. Do they eat? Are they safe? If so cut the apron strings, tell them to stop calling.

If whatever he's not doing so important to be done why aren't you the one there doing it? People have different parenting styles. What do you expect him to do while you're gone and who will be doing it when you separate?
I agree... I don't see how he is harming the kids by pouting because she went out. The kids don't need him to entertain them.

She said she still loves him... just hates his behavior. Don't forget that part, folks. She says she still loves him. I say she's part of the reason he acts the way he does and she needs to get a backbone and start doing things on her own and throwing some responsibility back at him rather than assume she needs to always be the one in charge and getting things done.

.


Red Alert, red alert ...



No, but a counselor or Minister might remind you of your duty.

And the idea is to take the husband along, so the Counselor might influence the husband in a positive way.



When one parent stops arguing then both stop at the same time.

If you stop your side of the arguing then both sides stop.



Red Alert, red alert ... = are the words of another.

.
I know I'm going to regret this ,but what do you consider doing her duty?

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You are a woman who knows her place. I like that. :love:
In all honesty most women will remain discontent until they come to the realization that they and only THEY are solely responsible for their happiness in life. No man, child, money nor career can do this for them... all a man, child, money or career can do is compliment a situation. If the soup is sour... blame the ingredients of the soup...not the crackers.

You're stirring the soup again, aren't you?

Wirelessly posted (Change we can believe in!: Mozilla/4.0 (compatible; MSIE 6.0; Windows CE; IEMobile 7.7) 320x240; VZW; Motorola-Q9c; Windows Mobile 6.0 Standard)



You're stirring the soup again, aren't you?

:smack:

Wirelessly posted (Change we can believe in!: Mozilla/4.0 (compatible; MSIE 6.0; Windows CE; IEMobile 7.7) 320x240; VZW; Motorola-Q9c; Windows Mobile 6.0 Standard)

Wirelessly posted (Change we can believe in!: Mozilla/4.0 (compatible; MSIE 6.0; Windows CE; IEMobile 7.7) 320x240; VZW; Motorola-Q9c; Windows Mobile 6.0 Standard)



You're stirring the soup again, aren't you?

:smack:

Is that you thumping the man in the boat?

Why can't he watch tv? He's grown. Your kids are 10 and 13, surely they have interests that don't require daddy holding their hands. Do they eat? Are they safe? If so cut the apron strings, tell them to stop calling.

If whatever he's not doing so important to be done why aren't you the one there doing it? People have different parenting styles. What do you expect him to do while you're gone and who will be doing it when you separate?

Yes, they eat. Yes, they are safe.

I guess I just want him to be more interactive with them while I am gone.

You said you've been married 11 years (12 in Nov). Is the oldest child his? I ask because it sounds like he could be harboring some resentment.

A. the child isn't his so he feels no need to be a father
B. the child is his and feels like he was "trapped" into marrying you

and I'm not saying you trapped him. I'm just trying to figure out why he doesn't want to be a father to his two girls. Unless of course, he's just a POS.

Does your house have a basement or extra bedroom? I ask because I've read many couples are currently living in the same house and still going through the divorce process but because of the recession can not afford to live apart.

If you can, I'd advise you to retain a lawyer if you can afford it. You will get your best course of action through him/her.

BTW, I had to be legally separated for 1 year before I could file for divorce. Separated in April 97, divorce final Nov 98. If either party is committing adultery, you can file for the divorce after 3 months of separation. I actually filed 6 months into our separation, and it still took a total of a year and a half for it to be finalized.

My oldest daughter is not his. I had her when I was a teen. My husband and I met when she was 15 months.

I do have another level of my house that is not being used, really.

Thanks for the advice on the lawyer, I think thats what I need to do.

Yes, they eat. Yes, they are safe.

I guess I just want him to be more interactive with them while I am gone.Does your husband tell the girls that he loves them? Do they know that he loves them? Are they missing out on anything, other than a doting/participating father?

Does your husband tell the girls that he loves them? Do they know that he loves them? Are they missing out on anything, other than a doting/participating father?

Yes, he tells them he loves them. I'm sure they know that he does.

As far as them missing out on anything: He's never home. He works 6 (sometimes 7) days a week.

When he is here and our youngest sits next to him on the couch...he gets ignorant. Says things like "get away, Im hot" or "go play in your room" or "dont u have any friends you could be playing with?" Its ridiculous.

They are older (13 and 10), so they dont constantly need his attention, but it would be nice for him to be more interactive with them.

My oldest daughter is not his. I had her when I was a teen. My husband and I met when she was 15 months.

I do have another level of my house that is not being used, really.

Thanks for the advice on the lawyer, I think thats what I need to do.

I think you already knew what needs to happen, you just needed some support to realize it. It's not an easy decision, nor one that should be made in the heat of the moment. Best of luck with whatever decisions you come to.

Since you do have another level, could you suggest to him that your "separation" take place within the house? Tell him you need space before making that final jump into a costly separation/divorce. Take a time out? Come up with a plan, then follow through. Put it in writing so he can read it. That way it won't turn into an argument and the things you want to say will be said without getting side tracked.

Maybe you could suggest he move into the basement. He can "visit" with the kids on certain evenings for dinner, homework etc. Make it fair. And be prepared to negotiate with him. If you both want to make it work, maybe you could set aside a night a week/month etc that you two can be together to discuss things. Preferably away from the ears in the cornfield (kids). Sounds like you both need to communicate with each other. You need to tell him what you want. Write him letters!!! That way there is no mistake in what you are saying.

Honey, I want you to spend QUALITY time with the kids when I'm out. (Hard to misinterpret what you are saying.)

Yes, he tells them he loves them. I'm sure they know that he does.

As far as them missing out on anything: He's never home. He works 6 (sometimes 7) days a week.

When he is here and our youngest sits next to him on the couch...he gets ignorant. Says things like "get away, Im hot" or "go play in your room" or "dont u have any friends you could be playing with?" Its ridiculous.

They are older (13 and 10), so they dont constantly need his attention, but it would be nice for him to be more interactive with them.
To be fair, him works 6-7 days a week does not give him much opportunity to become more involved with his family. You have to recognize the Herculean effort on his part to provide what he does for the family. What do you do to make the very little bit of time he has at home with you and the girls quality time?

And I can't help but wonder what life will be like for the girls with you having to spend more time outside of the house once you become the bread winner in their life.

I hate to see a family get disolved when it doesn't really have to happen.

Yes, he tells them he loves them. I'm sure they know that he does.

As far as them missing out on anything: He's never home. He works 6 (sometimes 7) days a week.

When he is here and our youngest sits next to him on the couch...he gets ignorant. Says things like "get away, Im hot" or "go play in your room" or "dont u have any friends you could be playing with?" Its ridiculous.

They are older (13 and 10), so they dont constantly need his attention, but it would be nice for him to be more interactive with them.

Let him know that if he keeps pushing you all away, eventually you will go away, permanently. Ask him if that is what he wants. Maybe it is.

They'll end up hating him as they get older. (Somebody quote this)

Anybody can be a father - see: James P Cisick
It takes someone special
To be a dad.

They'll end up hating him as they get older. (Somebody quote this)

Anybody can be a father - see: James P Cisick
It takes someone special
To be a dad.

one of my favorite quotes!:buddies:

All I know is she said she told you she wanted you the rock the man in the boat and you jumped up and ran down to the Wicomico Shores marina. :doh:

:killingme :killingme

Where was all this good advice when I was going through my divorce! :cds:

Where was all this good advice when I was going through my divorce! :cds:

you never asked :drama:

you never asked :drama:

I did too!! :tantrum

I did too!! :tantrum

Well in that case :shrug: :razz:

Well in that case :shrug: :razz:

:cds:


But I like the tongue. :drool:

What do you do to make the very little bit of time he has at home with you

In other words.
Are you F'ing your husband, or are you a cold beotch?

In other words.
Are you F'ing your husband, or are you a cold beotch?

lol...I'm effin' my husband.

lol...I'm effin' my husband.

Try doing the icky things too!!

He doesn't go fishing with his best friend often does he??

Try doing the icky things too!!

He doesn't go fishing with his best friend often does he??

The "icky" things?

The "icky" things?
I'm sure someone will come around and provide the details.. :whistle:

Have an affair. That will get the process going real quick. :lol:

:roflmao: I lub you, nacho.

:roflmao: I lub you, nacho.

Maryland divorce laws need to be changed, protect yourself before you separate. You must be separted in order to divorce, and unless you can agree to do this amicably, (separate) you may end up loosing everything.

lol...I'm effin' my husband.

But are you any good at it?

But are you any good at it?

So if she isn't good at sex, it's her fault? - sorry but men have some responsibilty in sex too and good sex does not make a good marriage, it's the other way around.

So if she isn't good at sex, it's her fault? - sorry but men have some responsibilty in sex too and good sex does not make a good marriage, it's the other way around.

:yay:

So if she isn't good at sex, it's her fault? - sorry but men have some responsibilty in sex too and good sex does not make a good marriage, it's the other way around.

Never said it was her fault, I was just curious. You know in case she goes through with it. :killingme

Well someone has to make the first move and start the process, divorce is never easy on the feelings. Men hate to let there good ole coochie go. Worst fear, another man all up in it. It won't ruin the lives of the entire family as someone stated earlier, been there done that, rough in the beginning though. Then life goes on, and you put your azz back on the market LOL.

So, after reading this whole thread........What is the REAL reason you want a divorce?
Reading through your posts, you change your story, first your marriage is crap, then he is a good husband and provider, but bad father. You say you are still engaging is sex, so what is it??:confused:

So, after reading this whole thread........What is the REAL reason you want a divorce?
Reading through your posts, you change your story, first your marriage is crap, then he is a good husband and provider, but bad father. You say you are still engaging is sex, so what is it??:confused:

My marriage is crap because he treats my kids like ####. That's a far cry from "changing my story".

So, after reading this whole thread........What is the REAL reason you want a divorce?
Reading through your posts, you change your story, first your marriage is crap, then he is a good husband and provider, but bad father. You say you are still engaging is sex, so what is it??:confused:

I think you are the only one that didn't "get it"...

Maryland divorce laws need to be changed, protect yourself before you separate. You must be separted in order to divorce, and unless you can agree to do this amicably, (separate) you may end up loosing everything.

You are somewhat right..

You never have to "officially seperate" you just have to have lived apart and seperate without any freaky deaky for 12 - 24 months (depending on the circumstances).

You don't have to pay a lawyer to write up a seperation agreement, the court doesn't care if it's official or not.. You just have to be physically seperated.

Once you get lawyers involved you are both GUARANTEED to lose, it's just the winner is decided by who loses the least. They will put everything on the table and it will be up the judge what happens to ALL joint property. Cars, Appliances, HOUSE.. everything, including kids. So some stranger that doesn't know you OR your kids, get to decide on their futures because the two adults that are their parents can't communicate and be adults to decide how to best take care of them.

The courts only get involved in what you want, or let them, get involved in, and they usually make decisions nobody is happy with. They don't really have to be involved in anything short of supplying signatures saying the marriage is dissolved.

You are somewhat right..

You never have to "officially seperate" you just have to have lived apart and seperate without any freaky deaky for 12 - 24 months (depending on the circumstances).

You don't have to pay a lawyer to write up a seperation agreement, the court doesn't care if it's official or not.. You just have to be physically seperated.

Once you get lawyers involved you are both GUARANTEED to lose, it's just the winner is decided by who loses the least. They will put everything on the table and it will be up the judge what happens to ALL joint property. Cars, Appliances, HOUSE.. everything, including kids. So some stranger that doesn't know you OR your kids, get to decide on their futures because the two adults that are their parents can't communicate and be adults to decide how to best take care of them.

The courts only get involved in what you want, or let them, get involved in, and they usually make decisions nobody is happy with. They don't really have to be involved in anything short of supplying signatures saying the marriage is dissolved.

Given all the misinformation that has permeated this thread, I have to say that this is the most accurate overall summation I've yet seen. I say that as someone who has become a 'reluctant expert' in the process after nearly three years (and still counting) of being stuck in it and learning things I never imagined were a part of it.

And no judge in MD is ever going to get involved with anything in the actual 'mechanics' of separating, except in the case of a very real, clear and imminent threat to the children being proven. The party that wants to be separate is the party that has to act to be separate. Period. If that action involves convincing the other party to leave..great. But its all on you, the party wanting it over..no outside help will be forthcoming there.

Yes, they eat. Yes, they are safe.

I guess I just want him to be more interactive with them while I am gone.

maybe he's just pissed you're going out:coffee:

maybe he's just pissed you're going out:coffee:
He's working 6 sometimes 7 days a week every week... maybe he's just pizzed in general... I would be...:shrug:

He's working 6 sometimes 7 days a week every week... maybe he's just pizzed in general... I would be...:shrug:

amen to that mister sister.

My marriage is crap because he treats my kids like ####. That's a far cry from "changing my story".

You keep saying "my kids", didn't you say one of them is his. Do you say "my kids" to him? It would make me resentfull if I was hearing that.

What I'm seeing when I read this is; he's working 6-7days a wk but you are upset that he's not spending quality time with the kids when you leave them with him. You leave them with him to go to work or out with friends.

Work I understand but why would you not spend quality time with your husband on the only 1-2 days a week he's home. When are you having "family" time or time with just each other?

You keep saying "my kids", didn't you say one of them is his. Do you say "my kids" to him? It would make me resentfull if I was hearing that.

What I'm seeing when I read this is; he's working 6-7days a wk but you are upset that he's not spending quality time with the kids when you leave them with him. You leave them with him to go to work or out with friends.

Work I understand but why would you not spend quality time with your husband on the only 1-2 days a week he's home. When are you having "family" time or time with just each other?

1 child is not biologically his.

and I get what you are saying as well. I mentioned something similar. I do think some of his actions sound resentful.

You keep saying "my kids", didn't you say one of them is his. Do you say "my kids" to him? It would make me resentfull if I was hearing that.

What I'm seeing when I read this is; he's working 6-7days a wk but you are upset that he's not spending quality time with the kids when you leave them with him. You leave them with him to go to work or out with friends.

Work I understand but why would you not spend quality time with your husband on the only 1-2 days a week he's home. When are you having "family" time or time with just each other?

I only work seasonally. So, I'm not gone everyday. For two months out of the year, I am gone 3 evenings a week.

During the rest of the year, I am almost always home. I "go out" maybe once a month or less. If I do, it's to the movies, shopping or a friends birthday dinner.

Those are the ONLY times he is left with the kids.

I do not call them "my kids" to him. I say "the girls".

1 child is not biologically his.

and I get what you are saying as well. I mentioned something similar. I do think some of his actions sound resentful.

My oldest is not biologically his. However, he has been her father for 12 years.

He treats her better than he treats the youngest one, so I don't think he's harbouring any resentment.

I've been reading what everyone is writing...and I appreciate the advice.
There's times when I feel like I am asking for too much and being selfish, but there's other times when I can't help but want more for "our" kids.

I just want the girls to be happy and have a happy childhood. I want them to have a father who is there for them more than just financially.

Trust me, even though he works 6 or 7 days a week, he finds plenty of time to do things he wants to do. If I ask him to take off work while the kids are in school, he will. He has no problem taking time to spend with me. However, when I ask him to take off to do something with the girls and I, it's a fight.

Maybe I'm asking for too much.

He's working 6 sometimes 7 days a week every week... maybe he's just pizzed in general... I would be...:shrug:

Maybe he shouldn't be working 6 or 7 days a week. Financially, we are fine.

He's working 6 sometimes 7 days a week every week... maybe he's just pizzed in general... I would be...:shrug:

Maybe he's just TIRED working his azz off to take care of his family :coffee:

Maybe he's just TIRED working his azz off to take care of his family :coffee:

He doesn't have to work his azz off to take care of us. Certainly not 7 days a week.

He doesn't have to work his azz off to take care of us. Certainly not 7 days a week.

So why is he working 7 days a week then if he does not have to. Missing out on a lot of family time, not just him and the kids together but with you also. Then having family time just with the kids forced on him just because, hmmm. I don't think you really want this divorce or your just being selfish and want to get back on the market and the single life again because you work out and looking good :nono::nono:

We all love extra money but money can't replace lost time. You sound way to confused especially if you still hit in it and you both need to make changes if your so concerned about the girls.

So why is he working 7 days a week then if he does not have to. Missing out on a lot of family time, not just him and the kids together but with you also. Then having family time just with the kids forced on him just because, hmmm. I don't think you really want this divorce or your just being selfish and want to get back on the market and the single life again because you work out and looking good :nono::nono:

We all love extra money but money can't replace lost time. You sound way to confused especially if you still hit in it and you both need to make changes if your so concerned about the girls.

I don't know why he works so much. He certainly doesn't have to. I guess (for him) the time he spends with us is enough.

Who said anything about me 'working out'? :killingme

I apologize if this has already been mentioned, but have you ever sat down and told him what you are saying here? Have you said that you don't like the way he treats the girls and given him examples of how he has said hurtful things to them when with them and how he has ignored them? I honestly don't think that if he really loves them, as you say he does, that he would want to leave them so easily.

Your girls are a bit older - have you asked them how they feel about some of this? Does your 10 year old tell you that it hurts her feelings when he acts or says something hurtful to her? Have you asked them if they want him to spend more time with them when you aren't home? When I was that age, I wanted my alone time - I loved my Dad to pieces but I didn't exactly want to play board games with him when my Mom wasn't home. If he is meeting their needs while you are away and is telling them that he loves them (and he means it, especially in their eyes) then I don't really see the issue here. yes, *you* would like him to do more quality stuff with the kids - but marriage is a two way street, and with kids your age you have to take into consideration how they feel about things too. If your 10 year old is telling you that it does bother her when he says that stuff, or if the girls genuinely want to spend time doing things with him when you aren't home (and since you have girls that age I'm assuming you have a pretty good B.S. meter to see if they are lying and just saying that for you) then I think you have some issues that you need to talk about with him. They might not be issues at all to the girls though - and if you are really doing this 'for them' then you need to make sure that this is what they would want too...

My feeling (and I'm sorry for putting it this way, I don't mean any disrespect) is that you are having a bit of a mid-life crisis and you are sort of bored with your marriage. You love your husband but you aren't 'in love' with him anymore. Other guys hit on you and you start to think about what it might be like to not be tied down... and honestly, I think that most women (and men) fantasize about that after 12 years with the same person. I don't think that it's uncommon at all - it's just something that you need to reconcile within yourself. If you truly love your husband and feel that he loves you and provides for you and your family, then I think you can make it work. It will be tough and you'll have to stand your ground - but it doesn't sound like you have really tried yet. If it doesn't work, then hey - you gave it a shot, and now you know that you won't be happy with him and that you need to get out of the marriage.

I have not read the whole thread so pardon me if this has been coverd: You must make the Seperation a matter of Record and have been seperated for 1 year before moving forward. You can file for Divorse Pro Se in Circuit Court with just filing fee's. This also gives you a year to turn things around if that is your intent. Remember, what you 2 decide to tell the Master is between you.
Good Luck,
Remember to protect/keep track of all assets prior to and during this process.

I have not read the whole thread so pardon me if this has been coverd: You must make the Seperation a matter of Record and have been seperated for 1 year before moving forward. You can file for Divorse Pro Se in Circuit Court with just filing fee's. This also gives you a year to turn things around if that is your intent. Remember, what you 2 decide to tell the Master is between you.
Good Luck,
Remember to protect/keep track of all assets prior to and during this process.Uh, no you don't.

If you separate informally you can - after a year of separation - still file your request for divorce paperwork and get it.

You may be right, and if so a better way to go. Thank GOD i'm basing my advice on the way i did it 13 years ago.
:buddies:

Uh, no you don't.

If you separate informally you can - after a year of separation - still file your request for divorce paperwork and get it.

Maybe he's just TIRED working his azz off to take care of his family :coffee:

Yeah, well, we all were and we did it anyway.

Obviously Jaclyn is unhappy with her marriage. She has either tried or not to broach this subject to her husband, apparently without satisfaction or she wouldn't be posting on here about it.

I find it appalling that some of you are sticking up for the husband reflexively, without even considering how Jaclyn feels or what she has actually posted. Him being a good financial provider is not enough, and anyone who thinks it should be is pathetic.

Jaclyn, leave him, make your own money, and get a life. If it's bad enough that you have to ask the advice of strangers on the internet, then it's bad enough for you to call it a day and move on toward your future.

Protect Your Joint and Personal Assets, His lawyer will advise "moving/hiding"
Good Luck

Protect Your Joint and Personal Assets, His lawyer will advise "moving/hiding"
Good Luck

His lawyer will advise what?? Not in this county the lawyer won't..not if he/she is worth paying a fee to and still has a license to practice. Discovery and Requests for Production are thorough and taken quite seriously as they relate to the division of marital property. Any attempts to hide or liquidate assets are practically impossible to conceal and such attempts, if they are discovered, are looked upon VERY unfavorably by Master or Judge presiding.

Now, that said, very 'vigorous' argument over the actual division of debt and assets?..another matter entirely.:whistle:

.

Much of my work is locating assets that have been hidden. Some lawyers in that practice arent worth paying for period.

Protect You Assets.
:buddies:

His lawyer will advise what?? Not in this county the lawyer won't..not if he/she is worth paying a fee to and still has a license to practice. Discovery and Requests for Production are thorough and taken quite seriously as they relate to the division of marital property. Any attempts to hide or liquidate assets are practically impossible to conceal and such attempts, if they are discovered, are looked upon VERY unfavorably by Master or Judge presiding.

Now, that said, very 'vigorous' argument over the actual division of debt and assets?..another matter entirely.:whistle:

.

Much of my work is locating assets that have been hidden. Some lawyers in that practice arent worth paying for period.

Protect You Assets.
:buddies:

Just out of curiosity more than anything...what 'assets' and how 'hidden' when we are talking about yr average middle-class family with a mortgaged house, the contents of the house, and a couple of cars..maybe a retirement plan or two that are practically public information?

Whats to hide..and how the heck could it be hidden?

Yeah, well, we all were and we did it anyway.

Obviously Jaclyn is unhappy with her marriage. She has either tried or not to broach this subject to her husband, apparently without satisfaction or she wouldn't be posting on here about it.

I find it appalling that some of you are sticking up for the husband reflexively, without even considering how Jaclyn feels or what she has actually posted. Him being a good financial provider is not enough, and anyone who thinks it should be is pathetic.

Jaclyn, leave him, make your own money, and get a life. If it's bad enough that you have to ask the advice of strangers on the internet, then it's bad enough for you to call it a day and move on toward your future.

EXACTLY!! Very well said, just because he brings in money, doesn't give him the right to act anyway he wants.

EXACTLY!! Very well said, just because he brings in money, doesn't give him the right to act anyway he wants.

or she could be exaggerating.

I think some men believe that if they are bringing home a paycheck, putting food on the table, roof over head, etc...what else do they need to do.

or she could be exaggerating.

It's interesting when someone says this because it comes across as defensive and guilty because you relate it to your own personal situation.

Something you'd like to share with the class?

I think some men believe that if they are bringing home a paycheck, putting food on the table, roof over head, etc...what else do they need to do.


Well when it comes time for separation and divorce then those same women only care about that same money from that same man.

So appreciating the cash during the marriage is not really asking for too much from the ladies.

.

It's interesting when someone says this because it comes across as defensive and guilty because you relate it to your own personal situation.

Something you'd like to share with the class?

I'm basing what I said on the fact that we are only hearing her side and you rush to her defense as if everything she says is true. She could be exaggerating or he could be out a lot because he is screwing around.
And yes I do have experience with a woman that got tired of being a wife and a mother and wanted to go out and play. She tried to play the good mother in custody court and her exaggerations fell flat.
What's your story because you sound pretty defensive yourself?

I think some men believe that if they are bringing home a paycheck, putting food on the table, roof over head, etc...what else do they need to do.

And then there are the women that believe that their man doing all of the above is a given, happens effortlessly, automatically, magically,and invisibly, and has nothing to do whatsoever with anything else she might want him to do...the 'yeah, whatever..but I have neeeeds to..what about meeee" thing can be taken a bit too far.. :killingme

Been there..collected the scars. Suffice to say, making a marriage work is very much a team effort. Not everyone is cut out for team sports.

Divorce sucks! Avoid it at all costs if you can...the grass isn't always greener on the other side. It sounds like he has good qualities otherwise you wouldn't :smoochy: with him so try and work out the kid stuff. Some guys just don't know how to be compassionate fathers...just saying seperation is a prelude for divorce and it's impossible to "work" on things if you're not under one roof. I'm not trying to :deadhorse:. Hope things work out for you

And then there are the women that believe that their man doing all of the above is a given, happens effortlessly, automatically, magically,and invisibly, and has nothing to do whatsoever with anything else she might want him to do...the 'yeah, whatever..but I have neeeeds to..what about meeee" thing can be taken a bit too far.. :killingme

Been there..collected the scars. Suffice to say, making a marriage work is very much a team effort. Not everyone is cut out for team sports.

I totally agree. Marriage is definitely a two way street. I guess I was trying to say your (husband/wife) responsibility doesn't end with earning a paycheck. You still need to come home and be a husband/wife, mother/father. Marriage is definitely a team sport!!