A woman I know married a man with two young children from a previous marriage. Shortly after they married, she insisted they move back to her home town to be closer to her family - she is from CA and he is from MD.

Fast-forward 20 years.

Now the man has no real relationship with his children, and the woman is dismayed by this. She doesn't understand why they don't come visit, or why they don't call on his birthday.

Comments?

A woman I know married a man with two young children from a previous marriage. Shortly after they married, she insisted they move back to her home town to be closer to her family - she is from CA and he is from MD.

Fast-forward 20 years.

Now the man has no real relationship with his children, and the woman is dismayed by this. She doesn't understand why they don't come visit, or why they don't call on his birthday.

Comments?Where are they located and where are the kids? :confused: What was the cause of no relationship between the father and kids?

Where are they located and where are the kids? :confused:

They are still in CA and the kids are grown and living in other states.

What was the cause of no relationship between the father and kids?
My guess would be the fact that they only saw him once a year when they were growing up, and he was uninterested enough to move close to her family rather than stay close to his children so he could be a part of their lives.

He's a putz for letting her control him and for alienating himself from his children.

He's a putz for letting her control him and for alienating himself from his children.

:yeahthat:

and she's a bi+ch for making him move so far away. Why not somewhere in the middle of both families. Too late for that. :ohwell:

She "made" him move? Uh, he should grow a pair. Or if he did *decide* to move with her, he shouldn't have given up his fatherly duties. Sounds like he didn't even try to be a dad.

They are still in CA and the kids are grown and living in other states.


My guess would be the fact that they only saw him once a year when they were growing up, and he was uninterested enough to move close to her family rather than stay close to his children so he could be a part of their lives.Now I understand. She divorced him and took the kids to Ca.
and he let her. I think I would have tried to get a job out west to be closer to my kids. If he's interested in trying, he should make an effort to see his kids, but then he should have been making an effort over the last 20 years.

You cant really blame her. She didnt drag him to California he went willingly.

She "made" him move? Uh, he should grow a pair. Or if he did *decide* to move with her, he should give up his fatherly duties. Sounds like he didn't even try to be a dad.

Exactly. It isn't the *new* wife's fault, it is his. Has he never heard of the telephone? How about airlines? Oh my, what about stamps and snail mail? Email?

He could have stayed involved and in contact with his kids if he wanted. All he had to do was make the attempt.

You cant really blame her. She didnt drag him to California he went willingly.
Ohhhh, so they were both in Calif to begin with, then divorced and he went back to MD. Then he has no excuse for not being close to his kids.

She "made" him move? Uh, he should grow a pair. Or if he did *decide* to move with her, he should give up his fatherly duties. Sounds like he didn't even try to be a dad.

True. But, if a man hasn't 'grown a pair' by the time he gets involved with a particular woman, he isn't likely to grow a pair after he does.

True. But, if a man hasn't 'grown a pair' by the time he gets involved with a particular woman, he isn't likely to grow a pair after he does.

So? How is that the wife's fault?

So? How is that the wife's fault?

It's not.

Exactly. It isn't the *new* wife's fault, it is his. Has he never heard of the telephone? How about airlines? Oh my, what about stamps and snail mail? Email?

He could have stayed involved and in contact with his kids if he wanted. All he had to do was make the attempt.

BTW, I have a former co-worker who isn't rich by any means. He lives in MD and his ex and child live in CA. He gets his daughter every summer and at Christmas. He calls her all the time and she knows she can call him anytime. He also has her on his FB page and they email and text almost daily.

That's called making an effort to be involved in your child's life.

Now I understand. She divorced him and took the kids to Ca.
and he let her. I think I would have tried to get a job out west to be closer to my kids. If he's interested in trying, he should make an effort to see his kids, but then he should have been making an effort over the last 20 years.

Ohhhh, so they were both in Calif to begin with, then divorced and he went back to MD. Then he has no excuse for not being close to his kids.

:lol:

I *think* the man lived here in Maryland..had two children. Met a woman who was originally from California but was living here in Maryland. They got married and the woman wanted to go BACK to California to live...man went with her. His kids were still in Maryland, probably with their mother.

But he didn't see them much is my guess.

I don't have an opinion though, just helping out Vince. :lol:

I don't have an opinion though, just helping out Vince. :lol:

Thank you :lol:

Any parent who would blow off his/her kids for any reason is a jackass. There's no excuse for him not being involved in their lives while they were growing up. People should put their kids first, not a new love interest.

She's selfish for not caring enough about his kids to compromise on where they lived. But ultimately, it's his fault that his kids think he's a putz and don't want to be bothered with him now.

:lol:

I *think* the man lived here in Maryland..had two children. Met a woman who was originally from California but was living here in Maryland. They got married and the woman wanted to go BACK to California to live...man went with her. His kids were still in Maryland, probably with their mother.

But he didn't see them much is my guess.

I don't have an opinion though, just helping out Vince. :lol:I can never get the facts straight in one of these stories. :banghead:

Funny how the ads that pop up in this thread are "meet local lesbian" ads. :lmao:

My dad already had a child from a previous marriage when he and my mom got together/married. My parents and my dad's ex/daughter lived in MD. My dad's ex remarried and moved to KY with my sister when she was very young (3 or 4 I think). My sister spent Christmas and summer with us and both my parents kept in frequent contact with her. My sister is 42 years old, still lives in KY and has a fine relationship with both my father and my mother. They visit with each other a couple times a year and keep in frequent phone/email contact. My sister and I are closer than my brother and I despite the fact that she and I have never lived in the same house and I are 11 years apart in age.

I think that the individuals involved and the effort put forth are much more influential factors than distance.

Now I understand. She divorced him and took the kids to Ca.
and he let her.

No. He remarried and moved to CA with his new wife, leaving his kids in MD with their custodial mother.

No. He remarried and moved to CA with his new wife, leaving his kids in MD with their custodial mother.

:vince:=:confused:

Funny how the ads that pop up in this thread are "meet local lesbian" ads. :lmao:

Coincidence? :lol:

No. He remarried and moved to CA with his new wife, leaving his kids in MD with their custodial mother.

Their mother was a janitor???




:lmao:

Their mother was a janitor???

Aren't all mothers janitors? :shrug:

does that mean they all aren`t Taxi drivers? inside joke :killingme

betcha i can prove that Theory. 1 July 2010 ring a bell??? that thread may b gone, but????????????????? maybe BWs & B? :whistle:

CMT : Videos : Shania Twain : She's Not Just a Pretty Face (http://www.cmt.com/videos/shania-twain/27595/shes-not-just-a-pretty-face.jhtml)

Would you mind writing something for a time capsule? We're gonna shoot it into space and, when some hostile alien force finds it and reads it, they are gonna hightail it for another galaxy and leave us the hell alone.

:buddies:

No. He remarried and moved to CA with his new wife, leaving his kids in MD with their custodial mother.:doh: Now I get it. Still his fault and if he doesn't make an effort to get to know his own kids, he's an idiot.

Aren't all mothers janitors? :shrug:
I'm the janitor in my house.

:doh: Now I get it. Still his fault and if he doesn't make an effort to get to know his own kids, he's an idiot.




Guess my explanation was too lengthy. :lol:

Would you mind writing something for a time capsule? We're gonna shoot it into space and, when some hostile alien force finds it and reads it, they are gonna hightail it for another galaxy and leave us the hell alone.

:buddies:

:lol:

Guess my explanation was too lengthy. :lol:

I was reading something recently that said something about men and women don't communicate very well. I couldn't follow it, too wordy, went and got a sammitch and turned on the game.

:shrug:






:evil:

Would you mind writing something for a time capsule? We're gonna shoot it into space and, when some hostile alien force finds it and reads it, they are gonna hightail it for another galaxy and leave us the hell alone.

:buddies:

:killingme

A woman I know married a man with two young children from a previous marriage. Shortly after they married, she insisted they move back to her home town to be closer to her family - she is from CA and he is from MD.

Fast-forward 20 years.

Now the man has no real relationship with his children, and the woman is dismayed by this. She doesn't understand why they don't come visit, or why they don't call on his birthday.

Comments?

Well… sounds to me that 20 years ago the new wifey may have not only wanted to move closer to her family, but also wanted her new hubby FAR AWAY from his children and former wife. If that is the case, she got what she wanted and now in hindsight feels bad. Just my take on it.

It is, however, ultimately the father’s fault for not staying in touch with his children.

:killingme



Well… sounds to me that 20 years ago the new wifey may have not only wanted to move closer to her family, but also wanted her new hubby FAR AWAY from his children and former wife. If that is the case, she got what she wanted and now in hindsight feels bad. Just my take on it.

It is, however, ultimately the father’s fault for not staying in touch with his children.

What if the custodian mom made it really hard for him to keep up with the kids and turned the kids against him?


:popcorn:

What if the custodian mom made it really hard for him to keep up with the kids and turned the kids against him?


:popcorn:

That was a thought I had. Why does the guy have to be the bad guy :shrug:

Guess my explanation was too lengthy. :lol: Yes. I get easily confused. :vince:

What if the custodian mom made it really hard for him to keep up with the kids and turned the kids against him?


:popcorn:

You have an excellent point... I honestly hadnt thought about that one. The biological Mom could have made it hell for him to see the kids. But... but they are/were still his kids... as long as the courts hadnt decided against it, he had every legal right to see them and the Mom really couldnt have truly stopped him. Basically, even if the Mom made it hard on him, if he wanted to see his kids bad enough he would have found a way.

That was a thought I had. Why does the guy have to be the bad guy :shrug:

I know the woman she knows and know, fact certain, that the mom bent over backwards and was incredibly positive about the dad AND step mom. So, in this case, it's all on the pop as far as I am concerned.

I just asked to point out how everyone in the world always assumes it's the guys fault. :lol:


:evil:

You have an excellent point... I honestly hadnt thought about that one. The biological Mom could have made it hell for him to see the kids. But... but they are/were still his kids... as long as the courts hadnt decided against it, he had every legal right to see them and the Mom really couldnt have truly stopped him. Basically, even if the Mom made it hard on him, if he wanted to see his kids bad enough he would have found a way.

"Romo, I thought I had a Dr. Griswald?"


You name that movie and I will consider you an adult! :buddies:

"Romo, I thought I had a Dr. Griswald?"


You name that movie and I will consider you an adult! :buddies:

:twitch: Oh man... wasnt Kevin whatshisface and Cheech in it?

...Or am I way off?


If Im wrong Im deleting this post and pretending like it never happened :lmao:

It's the dad's fault. He is a grown man yes she played a part in it but it all comes back to him!They are his kids not hers.I know because I've gone threw this with my own dad and have basically had a non existent relationship with my dad and haven't in 15 years his choice not mine I've tried he hasn't and I'm his only child. I LOVE my dad always have ALWAYS will but he is NOT the dad I knew the first 12 years of my life.The dad I looked up to and respected .He chose HIS wants and HIS needs over me...And till this day he still puts HIS wants and HIS needs first. After not seeing my dad but 1 visit in 13 years face to face he had a chance to spend time with me and his grandson but all he wanted to do was go deer hunting.Since where he lives now he is not able to....

Being a mom now I could never do to my son what he has done to me.I could never let my son question if I loved him.Or make him feel like he didn't matter to me.

:twitch: Oh man... wasnt Kevin whatshisface and Cheech in it?

...Or am I way off?


If Im wrong Im deleting this post and pretending like it never happened :lmao:

You can't delete it now.

:evil: