and told my wife that I've been given a huge promotion at work which means I get my own office and I get to employ my own private secretary.

"Well you'd better hire someone who's a old, fat and ugly", she said, "I don't want you choosing someone who you're going to be tempted to have sex with."

"That's fair enough", I replied, "When can you start?"

Doctor says the scarring shouldn't be to noticeable...