Wife getting fat.....help!!! - Topic (http://forums.menshealth.com/eve/forums/a/tpc/f/230100665/m/6711047811)

Interesting tread from another forum I stumbled upon....

I've been married for about 4.5 years now. Two kids later, my wife weighs more than me (185) and is probably 60+ lbs heavier than when we got married. It has really started to affect everything!! She just started snoring like crazy at night. I end up going to the basement so I can sleep, but she just ends up getting mad at me.

Her favorite passtime is watching t.v. and eating. At this point, it seems like there is no hope in sight. I've given up on wanting any sexual realationship with her because A) it was never good to begin with (she has major insecurity issues thanks to her mom) and B) it's just embarassing.

I've tried to get her out on hikes or walks, but it doesn't really work. We even spent $3000 on an eliptical for her which I use all the time, but she has only touched twice.

If there weren't two kids involved, I would leave her because her selfish behavior is compromising our current happiness and will surely result in major health problems in the furture. I'm embarassed to be seen with her. I don't like to even be around her because it feels so demoralizing.

I really need some help with this, if anyone has some advice. Right now, I'm just counting down to when the kids are 18 so that I can get a divorce. I didn't sign up to live with a slob when I got married. She always told me before we got married that she would never let herself go, but 4.5 years into it.....I'm really disappointed.

Wife getting fat.....help!!! - Topic (http://forums.menshealth.com/eve/forums/a/tpc/f/230100665/m/6711047811)

Interesting tread from another forum I stumbled upon....

I've been married for about 4.5 years now. Two kids later, my wife weighs more than me (185) and is probably 60+ lbs heavier than when we got married. It has really started to affect everything!! She just started snoring like crazy at night. I end up going to the basement so I can sleep, but she just ends up getting mad at me.

Her favorite passtime is watching t.v. and eating. At this point, it seems like there is no hope in sight. I've given up on wanting any sexual realationship with her because A) it was never good to begin with (she has major insecurity issues thanks to her mom) and B) it's just embarassing.

I've tried to get her out on hikes or walks, but it doesn't really work. We even spent $3000 on an eliptical for her which I use all the time, but she has only touched twice.

If there weren't two kids involved, I would leave her because her selfish behavior is compromising our current happiness and will surely result in major health problems in the furture. I'm embarassed to be seen with her. I don't like to even be around her because it feels so demoralizing.

I really need some help with this, if anyone has some advice. Right now, I'm just counting down to when the kids are 18 so that I can get a divorce. I didn't sign up to live with a slob when I got married. She always told me before we got married that she would never let herself go, but 4.5 years into it.....I'm really disappointed.


And I'm sure this guy looks like George Clooney.

And I'm sure this guy looks like George Clooney.

no kidding :rolleyes:

Its for BETTER or WORSE right???

Ugh. He kinda sounds like a jerk, but I see where he's coming from :shrug: I hope he's at least told her he thinks her weight is unhealthy and lets her now how he feels...it probably won't go over well, but I would want my husband to tell me if didn't realize I was overweight, unhealthy, and it was affecting our marriage..

I mean, I expect people to gain a little weight and no one looks 20 forever..but really if my spouse put on a bunch of weight and was looking gross and unhealthy, I would talk to them about it. You're in it together and your health affects both of you, and the kids.

And I'm sure this guy looks like George Clooney.

Yeah really....It was interesting seeing all the different posts on the thread. Definitely mostly male.

Ugh. He kinda sounds like a jerk, but I see where he's coming from :shrug: I hope he's at least told her he thinks her weight is unhealthy and lets her now how he feels...it probably won't go over well, but I would want my husband to tell me if didn't realize I was overweight, unhealthy, and it was affecting our marriage..

I mean, I expect people to gain a little weight and no one looks 20 forever..but really if my spouse put on a bunch of weight and was looking gross and unhealthy, I would talk to them about it. You're in it together and your health affects both of you, and the kids.

I completely get that, but just some of the things he was saying. He came off as a pompous ass. She's probably eating because she's depressed she married such an a$$hole. :lol:

Dear Jerk,

She hates you and is using food to self-soothe. Do her a favor and leave her, then you can watch her transformation into a healthy happy woman, while your new chickie starts buying Ben and Jerry's by the truckload.

Love,
Vrai

Dear Jerk,

She hates you and is using food to self-soothe. Do her a favor and leave her, then you can watch her transformation into a healthy happy woman, while your new chickie starts buying Ben and Jerry's by the truckload.

Love,
Vrai

:killingme

I completely get that, but just some of the things he was saying. He came off as a pompous ass. She's probably eating because she's depressed she married such an a$$hole. :lol:


:lmao: yeah..and two kids in 4 years in tough, I only have one little one and it is tough to find time for myself. but he does sound like a dbag. I'd love to see pics :jerry:

The below response is one of the very few worthwhile comments from that thread.


"This is tricky, if it's only the weight I would suggest taking the excuses out of exercising. Make sure the house is picked up and the dishes are done then encourage her to start working out with you. I would start a few weeks before you even talk to her about exercising, play super dad giving her a little free time.
If she refuses tell her that you love her but you feel like she is letting herself go express that you love her but you feel like she doesn't care about your feelings.

Be careful though this is a minefield where you can make life miserable if you make a mistake.

Good luck."

Dear Jerk,

She hates you and is using food to self-soothe. Do her a favor and leave her, then you can watch her transformation into a healthy happy woman, while your new chickie starts buying Ben and Jerry's by the truckload.

Love,
Vrai

:yay:

Ugh. He kinda sounds like a jerk, but I see where he's coming from :shrug: I hope he's at least told her he thinks her weight is unhealthy and lets her now how he feels...it probably won't go over well, but I would want my husband to tell me if didn't realize I was overweight, unhealthy, and it was affecting our marriage..

I mean, I expect people to gain a little weight and no one looks 20 forever..but really if my spouse put on a bunch of weight and was looking gross and unhealthy, I would talk to them about it. You're in it together and your health affects both of you, and the kids.
Beleive me when you are overwight you know it. You dont need someone to tell you.

I've gained a TON of weight partly from getting pregnant, not being able to go to the gym, etc... never once has my hubby said a word about it.
Dear Jerk,

She hates you and is using food to self-soothe. Do her a favor and leave her, then you can watch her transformation into a healthy happy woman, while your new chickie starts buying Ben and Jerry's by the truckload.

Love,
Vrai

:yeahthat:

This exact scenario happened w/ my aunt. She used to be a size 24 when her hubby left her. About a year later she was a size 6 :lol:

:yeahthat:

This exact scenario happened w/ my aunt. She used to be a size 24 when her hubby left her. About a year later she was a size 6 :lol:

:trap set for new man: :coffee:

Beleive me when you are overwight you know it. You dont need someone to tell you.

I've gained a TON of weight partly from getting pregnant, not being able to go to the gym, etc... never once has my hubby said a word about it.


:yeahthat:

This exact scenario happened w/ my aunt. She used to be a size 24 when her hubby left her. About a year later she was a size 6 :lol:



I would rather my husband SAY something if it were bothering him, than not say anything and cheat on me or leave me out of the blue because he was unhappy :shrug: That way at least i have a chance to say "you know what, youre right and I am going to be healthier" or "**** off, I am going to eat this bacon covered icecream and you can get to steppin'" Now, I gained a ton of weight when I was pregnant, and am just now 9 months later back to my prepregnancy weight, and I have talked with SO on a few occasions..it didn't seem to bother him a bit. But if it did, I would certainly want to know...only NOT when I am actually pregnant, because then I would have murdered him and hid his body in the basement :coffee:

What are the stats for those reading this thread?

What was your weight before marriage, and what is your weight after marriage?

because then I would have murdered him and hid his body in the basement

Tip: Don't hide bodies in your own basement. That's the first place the cops will look.

What are the stats for those reading this thread?

What was your weight before marriage, and what is your weight after marriage?

6'2" 175lbs in 1998 and 6'2" 174lbs yesterday :drummer:

6'2" 175lbs in 1998 and 6'2" 174lbs yesterday :drummer: :yay: Cool!


I was a chunko when I married, but dropped some weight, so now I'm not quite as chunko as I was before.

:yay: Cool!


I was a chunko when I married, but dropped some weight, so now I'm not quite as chunko as I was before.

Chunko is not a stat...just sayin' :killingme

Chunko is not a stat...just sayin' :killingmeI know. :blushing:

I would rather my husband SAY something if it were bothering him, than not say anything and cheat on me or leave me out of the blue because he was unhappy :shrug: That way at least i have a chance to say "you know what, youre right and I am going to be healthier" or "**** off, I am going to eat this bacon covered icecream and you can get to steppin'" Now, I gained a ton of weight when I was pregnant, and am just now 9 months later back to my prepregnancy weight, and I have talked with SO on a few occasions..it didn't seem to bother him a bit. But if it did, I would certainly want to know...only NOT when I am actually pregnant, because then I would have murdered him and hid his body in the basement :coffee:
I hear what you are saying.
:yay: Cool!


I was a chunko when I married, but dropped some weight, so now I'm not quite as chunko as I was before.

:smack: You are NO WHERE NEAR chunko!

:killingme

WIN

Dear Jerk,

She hates you and is using food to self-soothe. Do her a favor and leave her, then you can watch her transformation into a healthy happy woman, while your new chickie starts buying Ben and Jerry's by the truckload.

Love,
Vrai

:killingme

Chunko is not a stat...just sayin' :killingme'Chunko' like '$hitload' is a standard unit of measure in southern Maryland.

'Chunko' like '$hitload' is a standard unit of measure in southern Maryland.

Corn fed.

Corn fed.A descriptive of the typical woman in southern MD.

A descriptive of the typical woman in southern MD.

:diva:

:trap set for new man: :coffee:

:yeahthat:

Dear Jerk,

She hates you and is using food to self-soothe. Do her a favor and leave her, then you can watch her transformation into a healthy happy woman, while your new chickie starts buying Ben and Jerry's by the truckload.

Love,
Vrai

:yeahthat:

'Chunko' like '$hitload' is a standard unit of measure in southern Maryland.

:yay:

:killingme


quote:
Originally posted by pseudoname:
I have called her out on being a couch potato, which greatly offended her for some reason.

Taters gonna hate.

I would rather my husband SAY something if it were bothering him, than not say anything and cheat on me or leave me out of the blue because he was unhappy :shrug: That way at least i have a chance to say "you know what, youre right and I am going to be healthier" or "**** off, I am going to eat this bacon covered icecream and you can get to steppin'" Now, I gained a ton of weight when I was pregnant, and am just now 9 months later back to my prepregnancy weight, and I have talked with SO on a few occasions..it didn't seem to bother him a bit. But if it did, I would certainly want to know...only NOT when I am actually pregnant, because then I would have murdered him and hid his body in the basement :coffee:

Tip: Don't hide bodies in your own basement. That's the first place the cops will look.

Let your buddies help you out with that last bit (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gw7gNf_9njs&ob=av2e)... :buddies:

Tip: Don't hide bodies in your own basement. That's the first place the cops will look.

:yay:

Let your buddies help you out with that :buddies:

:twitch:

:twitch:

What? :shrug: Any husband who complains about his wife getting "fat" when she's pregnant deserves everything he gets! (or doesn't get!) :biggrin:

What? :shrug: Any husband who complains about his wife getting "fat" when she's pregnant deserves everything he gets! (or doesn't get!) :biggrin:

:lmao:

Beleive me when you are overwight you know it. You dont need someone to tell you.

I've gained a TON of weight partly from getting pregnant, not being able to go to the gym, etc... never once has my hubby said a word about it.
:yeahthat:

This exact scenario happened w/ my aunt. She used to be a size 24 when her hubby left her. About a year later she was a size 6 :lol:

Just because he never said anything does not mean he has not thought it.

Just because he never said anything does not mean he has not thought it.

Probably because it doesn't matter "in the grand scheme of things" to him and/or because he's not a dolt and realizes that a woman gains weight when she's pregnant. Some women can lose it fast - others can't. Eventually, most women have to work pretty hard to lose weight they gained in their pregnancies.

I gained 45lbs with BOTH pregnancies, (the first one I didn't watch what I ate & the 2nd one I was 35 yo & was seeing a dietician and STILL gained that much weight). While I'm not carrying that weight any longer - it isn't easy to lose that much weight. Twice. :shrug:

Wife getting fat.....help!!! - Topic (http://forums.menshealth.com/eve/forums/a/tpc/f/230100665/m/6711047811)

I've tried to get her out on hikes or walks, but it doesn't really work. We even spent $3000 on an eliptical for her which I use all the time, but she has only touched twice.
If there weren't two kids involved, I would leave her because her selfish behavior is compromising our current happiness and will surely result in major health problems in the furture. I'm embarassed to be seen with her. I don't like to even be around her because it feels so demoralizing.

I really need some help with this, if anyone has some advice. Right now, I'm just counting down to when the kids are 18 so that I can get a divorce. I didn't sign up to live with a slob when I got married. She always told me before we got married that she would never let herself go, but 4.5 years into it.....I'm really disappointed.

1) The answer to "Do I look fat?" or "Do these pants make my butt look big?" or any variation of those questions is always "No, (insert Pet Name here), you look great!"

2) Any exercise equipment will eventually be used as a place to hang stuff. The only variable there, is how long it will take before that happens.

I don't think he's being a jerk at all. It seems as if she's making no effort to try to lose the weight. If there's a valid excuse, like a medical condition, fine he's being a jerk, but it reads as if she's just lazy.

I can tell by reading the responses to this thread who got fat after marriage and who didn't in their lifetime... I think it comes right down to a health concern. You didn't marry someone so they can ruin their health and not be there for the long haul.

I can tell by reading the responses to this thread who got fat after marriage and who didn't in their lifetime... I think it comes right down to a health concern. You didn't marry someone so they can ruin their health and not be there for the long haul.


I hadn't thought of it like that.

I can tell by reading the responses to this thread who got fat after marriage and who didn't in their lifetime... I think it comes right down to a health concern. You didn't marry someone so they can ruin their health and not be there for the long haul.

Well stated!

I can tell by reading the responses to this thread who got fat after marriage and who didn't in their lifetime... I think it comes right down to a health concern. You didn't marry someone so they can ruin their health and not be there for the long haul.

good point. :yay:

I can tell by reading the responses to this thread who got fat after marriage and who didn't in their lifetime

You can tell more by who stopped responding after post 15.

You can tell more by who stopped responding after post 15.

womp, womp.. No one wants to post their weight on a public forum tho.

I read most of that thread and some of the advice was pretty sound and logical and did not involve any lawyers. The best one IMHO was using a life insurance upgrade (physical required) as a catalyst to spark a change in life.

Too many people readily accept the convenient excuses that some doctors, quacks, dieticians and charlatans toss out there such as stress, genetics etc. Sure there are some health issues that limit your activity levels but getting fat, being fat and staying fat is NOT because you lost the "gene lottery". There are millions of success stories out there about people who were absolute Jabba the Hutts but are now in great shape because they stopped making and accepting excuses and decided that a healthier lifestyle was far more important than that medium double #4 with bbq sauce and a coke from Wendy's.

I don't think he's being a jerk at all. It seems as if she's making no effort to try to lose the weight. If there's a valid excuse, like a medical condition, fine he's being a jerk, but it reads as if she's just lazy.

:buddies:

You can tell more by who stopped responding after post 15.

To be honest I am in a similar boat as the initial subject of this thread, except for my g/f has not had any kids. She now wants one but she has gained 50+ lbs after getting off of the pill and well I am having doubts about our future as time passes. We have been together for over 10 years, I started reading this thread for other opinions/advice.

I can tell by reading the responses to this thread who got fat after marriage and who didn't in their lifetime... I think it comes right down to a health concern. You di
dn't marry someone so they can ruin their health and not be there for the long haul.

I agree that you don't marry someone so they can ruin their health- and that door swings both ways. You would be wrong about everyone in this tread gaining weight after marriage. I had lost all my pregnancy weight & was in better shape when I divorced than my ex. My life insurance rates (for a woman over 40) were less than half what my ex's was. AND I was an ex-smoker & he never smoked at all. To this day I am in as good if not better shape healthwise as I was in my 30's.

To be honest I am in a similar boat as the initial subject of this thread, except for my g/f has not had any kids. She now wants one but she has gained 50+ lbs after getting off of the pill and well I am having doubts about our future as time passes. We have been together for over 10 years, I started reading this thread for other opinions/advice.

I've realized you can't change your SO. In fact if you try things get worse. If you want change it has to be you. Start liking plumbers or turn the lights off and squeeze your eyes shut really really hard. It could be breast, it could be belly who knows.....

I agree that you don't marry someone so they can ruin their health- and that door swings both ways. You would be wrong about everyone in this tread gaining weight after marriage. I had lost all my pregnancy weight & was in better shape when I divorced than my ex. My life insurance rates (for a woman over 40) were less than half what my ex's was. AND I was an ex-smoker & he never smoked at all. To this day I am in as good if not better shape healthwise as I was in my 30's.

Congrats on improving your heath! No :sarcasm: intended!

I've realized you can't change your SO. In fact if you try things get worse. If you want change it has to be you. Start liking plumbers or turn the lights off and squeeze your eyes shut really really hard. It could be breast, it could be belly who knows.....

:killingme

She hasn't gotten to the Dunlap stage but I am fearful that it is not too far behind. Her mom is far from a stellar example of an attractive feminine figure. I am afraid that the old statement of "she will look like her mother in 20 years" will come true.

To be honest I am in a similar boat as the initial subject of this thread, except for my g/f has not had any kids. She now wants one but she has gained 50+ lbs after getting off of the pill and well I am having doubts about our future as time passes. We have been together for over 10 years, I started reading this thread for other opinions/advice.



I have noticed, that sometimes when people aren't happy for many reasons, they try to find something they can "blame" it on...or explain why they aren't happy anymore. I tend to think that if you really loved someone and are in a commited and strong relationship, something like weight isn't a huge deal (unless its frank obesity and totally unhealthy) and can be discussed in a mature relationship and worked on. I don't think that if people are totally unhappy and doubting a relationship, that is is going to be fixed by some weight loss. I don't know about you, but I think the OPs problem goes beyond weight. He doesn't sound like someone lovingly concerned about someone...he sounds like he needs an excuse to get rid of her :shrug:

Take out or increase her coverage on your life insurance policy. If she won't take care of her health, you might as well make the best of it.

Just because he never said anything does not mean he has not thought it.
He loves me regardless of my weight. He'd love me if I was bald, lost a leg, eye, etc... vice versa for me :smile:
Probably because it doesn't matter "in the grand scheme of things" to him and/or because he's not a dolt and realizes that a woman gains weight when she's pregnant. Some women can lose it fast - others can't. Eventually, most women have to work pretty hard to lose weight they gained in their pregnancies.

I gained 45lbs with BOTH pregnancies, (the first one I didn't watch what I ate & the 2nd one I was 35 yo & was seeing a dietician and STILL gained that much weight). While I'm not carrying that weight any longer - it isn't easy to lose that much weight. Twice. :shrug:
Thank you.

My weight has fluctuated ever since I had kids. I gain, then lose, then gain, the lose. I went from a size 26 to a size 8. Got pregnant and am now a 20/22. Once I have surgery on my foot I hope to be able to get back in the gym and get back down to fighting weight :lol:

Take out or increase her coverage on your life insurance policy. If she won't take care of her health, you might as well make the best of it.

At this point if something happened to either of us neither would benefit, our parents would. She does not want to get married because "If we were to marry and a divorce came up, I(she) would not benefit because I(she) earns more money than I do. Marriage is nothing but a legal arrangement where I(she) would get screwed."

I agree that you don't marry someone so they can ruin their health- and that door swings both ways. You would be wrong about everyone in this tread gaining weight after marriage. I had lost all my pregnancy weight & was in better shape when I divorced than my ex. My life insurance rates (for a woman over 40) were less than half what my ex's was. AND I was an ex-smoker & he never smoked at all. To this day I am in as good if not better shape healthwise as I was in my 30's.

I didn't say everyone, some I'm sure. Good job being healthy :yay:

He loves me regardless of my weight. He'd love me if I was bald, lost a leg, eye, etc... vice versa for me :smile:

Thank you.

My weight has fluctuated ever since I had kids. I gain, then lose, then gain, the lose. I went from a size 26 to a size 8. Got pregnant and am now a 20/22. Once I have surgery on my foot I hope to be able to get back in the gym and get back down to fighting weight :lol:

You've got the right attitude. Good for you. Keep at it.
And best of luck. :yay:

At this point if something happened to either of us neither would benefit, our parents would. She does not want to get married because "If we were to marry and a divorce came up, I(she) would not benefit because I(she) earns more money than I do. Marriage is nothing but a legal arrangement where I(she) would get screwed."

Sounds like a cup of sunshine to me.

Sounds like a cup of sunshine to me.

She can be.

I have noticed, that sometimes when people aren't happy for many reasons, they try to find something they can "blame" it on...or explain why they aren't happy anymore. I tend to think that if you really loved someone and are in a commited and strong relationship, something like weight isn't a huge deal (unless its frank obesity and totally unhealthy) and can be discussed in a mature relationship and worked on. I don't think that if people are totally unhappy and doubting a relationship, that is is going to be fixed by some weight loss. I don't know about you, but I think the OPs problem goes beyond weight. He doesn't sound like someone lovingly concerned about someone...he sounds like he needs an excuse to get rid of her :shrug:

I love you a bushel and a peck :love:

If the marriage was happy and solid, her extra poundage wouldn't bother him in the least.

Maybe having two kids within 4 years has put too much stress on her physically and emotionally. Maybe she knows she's gained weight and is depressed. Maybe he doesn't give her the emotional support she needs.

Reading one side of the story does not fill in all the blanks. And I think there are alot of shallow people on this forum who only love someone for what they look like on the outside and not what's on the inside. Maybe he's a wife beater and she needs the extra padding for protection.

How would he feel if she were in a car accident and was disfigured? Oh, she doesn't look the same, let me get a lawyer and file for divorce. Oh, she has cancer and lost her beautiful hair, let me get a new replacement. Shallow people.

When you love someone, you should love them for who they are, the PERSON you fell in love with, not the imagine of the person you fell in love with.

Just remember, not many people look exactly what they looked like on their wedding day 20 years later. If you are in it for the looks today, don't get married, they won't look the same in 20, 30 or 60 years. Save yourself lots of lawyer fees and just trade them in on a new model when the tires need changing.

Maybe having two kids within 4 years has put too much stress on her physically and emotionally. Maybe she knows she's gained weight and is depressed. Maybe he doesn't give her the emotional support she needs.

Reading one side of the story does not fill in all the blanks. And I think there are alot of shallow people on this forum who only love someone for what they look like on the outside and not what's on the inside. Maybe he's a wife beater and she needs the extra padding for protection.

How would he feel if she were in a car accident and was disfigured? Oh, she doesn't look the same, let me get a lawyer and file for divorce. Oh, she has cancer and lost her beautiful hair, let me get a new replacement. Shallow people.

When you love someone, you should love them for who they are, the PERSON you fell in love with, not the imagine of the person you fell in love with.

Just remember, not many people look exactly what they looked like on their wedding day 20 years later. If you are in it for the looks today, don't get married, they won't look the same in 20, 30 or 60 years. Save yourself lots of lawyer fees and just trade them in on a new model when the tires need changing.

I love you a bushel and a peck, too! :love:

Maybe having two kids within 4 years has put too much stress on her physically and emotionally. Maybe she knows she's gained weight and is depressed. Maybe he doesn't give her the emotional support she needs.

Reading one side of the story does not fill in all the blanks. And I think there are alot of shallow people on this forum who only love someone for what they look like on the outside and not what's on the inside. Maybe he's a wife beater and she needs the extra padding for protection.

How would he feel if she were in a car accident and was disfigured? Oh, she doesn't look the same, let me get a lawyer and file for divorce. Oh, she has cancer and lost her beautiful hair, let me get a new replacement. Shallow people.

When you love someone, you should love them for who they are, the PERSON you fell in love with, not the imagine of the person you fell in love with.

Just remember, not many people look exactly what they looked like on their wedding day 20 years later. If you are in it for the looks today, don't get married, they won't look the same in 20, 30 or 60 years. Save yourself lots of lawyer fees and just trade them in on a new model when the tires need changing.

Very well stated! :yay:

I love you a bushel and a peck, too! :love:
:blushing: :huggy:
Very well stated! :yay:

Thank you. :buddies:

Maybe having two kids within 4 years has put too much stress on her physically and emotionally. Maybe she knows she's gained weight and is depressed. Maybe he doesn't give her the emotional support she needs.

Reading one side of the story does not fill in all the blanks. And I think there are alot of shallow people on this forum who only love someone for what they look like on the outside and not what's on the inside. Maybe he's a wife beater and she needs the extra padding for protection.

How would he feel if she were in a car accident and was disfigured? Oh, she doesn't look the same, let me get a lawyer and file for divorce. Oh, she has cancer and lost her beautiful hair, let me get a new replacement. Shallow people.

When you love someone, you should love them for who they are, the PERSON you fell in love with, not the imagine of the person you fell in love with.

Just remember, not many people look exactly what they looked like on their wedding day 20 years later. If you are in it for the looks today, don't get married, they won't look the same in 20, 30 or 60 years. Save yourself lots of lawyer fees and just trade them in on a new model when the tires need changing.

There is a huge difference between being the victim of a tragic accident or illness, and lacking the self-control or discipline to make life changes. I'm over 40, have eight children, I'm 5'8" and 130lbs. I work out every other day to manage it.
My dh was putting on weight a few years ago, after being healthy all of his life. His own sister is a giant and there was no way I wasn't going to point it out every time he took out a box of Cheez-Its for a snack. It took some time but he manned up and started to watch it again.
People need to stop pussy-footing around women and their "feelings", too. Can't say anything to a woman these days (and I'm one of them). They blame childbirth, PMS and societal pressures for everything. Good grief!

There is a huge difference between being the victim of a tragic accident or illness, and lacking the self-control or discipline to make life changes. I'm over 40, have eight children, I'm 5'8" and 130lbs. I work out every other day to manage it.
My dh was putting on weight a few years ago, after being healthy all of his life. His own sister is a giant and there was no way I wasn't going to point it out every time he took out a box of Cheez-Its for a snack. It took some time but he manned up and started to watch it again.
People need to stop pussy-footing around women and their "feelings", too. Can't say anything to a woman these days (and I'm one of them). They blame childbirth, PMS and societal pressures for everything. Good grief!

I blame cookies. Bad bad bad cookies....oh so yummy and delicious...they are evil. Therefore the devil made me eat them and that means it's the devil's fault too. And that is why I am so obese.

I blame cookies. Bad bad bad cookies....oh so yummy and delicious...they are evil. Therefore the devil made me eat them and that means it's the devil's fault too. And that is why I am so obese.

:lol:

I blame cookies. Bad bad bad cookies....oh so yummy and delicious...they are evil. Therefore the devil made me eat them and that means it's the devil's fault too. And that is why I am so obese.

As long as you're not complaining about your weight, and don't whine when your SO does, then go for it.

I can tell by reading the responses to this thread who got fat after marriage and who didn't in their lifetime... I think it comes right down to a health concern. You didn't marry someone so they can ruin their health and not be there for the long haul.

I'm not overweight, didn't get fat after I got married, have two kids, and I still think he's being an ass.

:lol:
Shush you. :love: Or I'll give you a cookie.

As long as you're not complaining about your weight, and don't whine when your SO does, then go for it.

Um okay. But the devil made me do it. Maybe the devil will make me smother my husband with my love fat from all the cookies I eat. Then I'll be an obese murderess and it'll all be the devil's fault for creating cookies. :bawl:

There is a huge difference between being the victim of a tragic accident or illness, and lacking the self-control or discipline to make life changes. I'm over 40, have eight children, I'm 5'8" and 130lbs. I work out every other day to manage it.
My dh was putting on weight a few years ago, after being healthy all of his life. His own sister is a giant and there was no way I wasn't going to point it out every time he took out a box of Cheez-Its for a snack. It took some time but he manned up and started to watch it again.
People need to stop pussy-footing around women and their "feelings", too. Can't say anything to a woman these days (and I'm one of them). They blame childbirth, PMS and societal pressures for everything. Good grief!

Good for you, but I think the poster is being superficial. Hey, I'm all for telling your significant other (in a constructive way) that they aren't taking care of themselves, let's start eating better, etc, but come on....

Good for you, but I think the poster is being superficial. Hey, I'm all for telling your significant other (in a constructive way) that they aren't taking care of themselves, let's start eating better, etc, but come on....

Superficial? Good heavens, he says she's "starting" to gain weight and she's 185! Sounds to me like she "started" gaining weight 50 lbs. ago. Let's assume for a second that for these most recent 50lbs. he's been encouraging her to walk, eat right, etc, but the scales keep tipping. I mean, how obese does she have to be before he's allowed to call a spade a spade?

Superficial? Good heavens, he says she's "starting" to gain weight and she's 185! Sounds to me like she "started" gaining weight 50 lbs. ago. Let's assume for a second that for these most recent 50lbs. he's been encouraging her to walk, eat right, etc, but the scales keep tipping. I mean, how obese does she have to be before he's allowed to call a spade a spade?

Yep, superficial.

I said I'm all for encouraging the weight loss, etc.

The last paragraph in his post is what I'm stuck on. That's what I'm getting irritated with. He calls her a slob and says he can't wait til the kids are 18, blah, blah. He's not doing anyone any favors with that mentality. Granted I don't know both sides of the story, but it sounds like there's more to it than her weight gain.

Would he be allowed to be upset if she was drunk every night? Not violent, and perhaps even a happy drunk, but drunk nonetheless. Would he be allowed to say he can't wait to get out of that situation?

Would he be allowed to be upset if she was drunk every night? Not violent, and perhaps even a happy drunk, but drunk nonetheless. Would he be allowed to say he can't wait to get out of that situation?

Being drunk and overweight, albeit both unhealthy, are different. He's allowed to say what he wants, and express distaste with both. I just think he's being extreme. To each their own.

Being drunk and overweight, albeit both unhealthy, are different. He's allowed to say what he wants, and express distaste with both. I just think he's being extreme. To each their own.

Chill out lady geez. Has crazy cooter been mean or something?

Chill out lady geez. Has crazy cooter been mean or something?

How did you know? :bawl:

How did you know? :bawl:

You have to get that crap in check

Would he be allowed to be upset if she was drunk every night? Not violent, and perhaps even a happy drunk, but drunk nonetheless. Would he be allowed to say he can't wait to get out of that situation?

Ding ding ding, whinnah! You married the person you married, not some version of that person. Putting on a crapload (not just a few pounds) of weight is not some "minor" thing. If I married some guy and he put on a ton of weight, started drinking daily, quit showering, what have you, I'd be peeved off too.

Ding ding ding, whinnah! You married the person you married, not some version of that person. Putting on a crapload (not just a few pounds) of weight is not some "minor" thing. If I married some guy and he put on a ton of weight, started drinking daily, quit showering, what have you, I'd be peeved off too.

Well of course, but it never said this lady stopped showering, etc. Weight can be lost.

I don't know why I'm getting so spun up about this. :lol:

Ding ding ding, whinnah! You married the person you married, not some version of that person. Putting on a crapload (not just a few pounds) of weight is not some "minor" thing. If I married some guy and he put on a ton of weight, started drinking daily, quit showering, what have you, I'd be peeved off too.

:coffee:

Well of course, but it never said this lady stopped showering, etc. Weight can be lost.

I don't know why I'm getting so spun up about this. :lol:

My point was it was something that is completely in control. I'm no toothpick anymore after baby #2. I have 5 vanity pounds that I struggle with but I'm well within normal weight. This lady has gained a significant amount of weight and is doing nothing about it. If it was under 20 pounds I'd agree that the guy is an arse but it's more than double that.

My point was it was something that is completely in control. I'm no toothpick anymore after baby #2. I have 5 vanity pounds that I struggle with but I'm well within normal weight. This lady has gained a significant amount of weight and is doing nothing about it. If it was under 20 pounds I'd agree that the guy is an arse but it's more than double that.

Large Marge... :duel:

Large Marge... :duel:


You wanna piece of me sparkle boy? :smack: