Larry Gude
05-31-2012, 12:00 PM
May 31, Washington, DC
"In a sudden, unexpected and stunning new twist on the raging marriage debate, who can marry who based on the heretofore seemingly uncomplicated compatibility of people's 'junk', the Supreme Court has declared marriage unconstitutional based on incompatibilities with both the spirit and intent of the 1st, 4th, 5th, 14th and, probably the 17th amendments. Justice Scalia,writing for the majority summarized thusly; "When you look at the totality of marriage, by any reasonable, civilized definition, we find marriage to be unnatural and incompatible with any interpretation of the words 'freedom' and 'liberty'. Writing for the minority, Judge Ginsberg asked for a cookie and some warm milk.
"Commentators around the nation from the entire rainbow of political opinion have described this is everything from 'breathtaking" to "scandalous" and legal opinion is raging as to whether this represents a brand new flexing of check and balance powers by the court that could lead to unknown and dangerous waters or whether this may be the simplest, easiest to understand and most obvious decision in the distinguished history of the court taking it's place alongside Brown v. Board of Ed and Coke v. Pepsi."
"Regular legal commentator and divorce attorney Irwin R. Scheyster simply had this to say. "####" Former president Bill Clinton, shedding tears, commented "Well, I guess better late than never. Hey, baby, wanna see my microphone?"
"Advocates for gay marriage expressed thoughts ranging from outrage at being so close to victory only to have it torn away to some rather unexpected expressions of relief."
Developing...
"In a sudden, unexpected and stunning new twist on the raging marriage debate, who can marry who based on the heretofore seemingly uncomplicated compatibility of people's 'junk', the Supreme Court has declared marriage unconstitutional based on incompatibilities with both the spirit and intent of the 1st, 4th, 5th, 14th and, probably the 17th amendments. Justice Scalia,writing for the majority summarized thusly; "When you look at the totality of marriage, by any reasonable, civilized definition, we find marriage to be unnatural and incompatible with any interpretation of the words 'freedom' and 'liberty'. Writing for the minority, Judge Ginsberg asked for a cookie and some warm milk.
"Commentators around the nation from the entire rainbow of political opinion have described this is everything from 'breathtaking" to "scandalous" and legal opinion is raging as to whether this represents a brand new flexing of check and balance powers by the court that could lead to unknown and dangerous waters or whether this may be the simplest, easiest to understand and most obvious decision in the distinguished history of the court taking it's place alongside Brown v. Board of Ed and Coke v. Pepsi."
"Regular legal commentator and divorce attorney Irwin R. Scheyster simply had this to say. "####" Former president Bill Clinton, shedding tears, commented "Well, I guess better late than never. Hey, baby, wanna see my microphone?"
"Advocates for gay marriage expressed thoughts ranging from outrage at being so close to victory only to have it torn away to some rather unexpected expressions of relief."
Developing...