I have a question about a restraining order. If the person who obtained a restraining order against the father of her kids breaks this restraining order can she get in trouble? I know of a situation that I'm sure the girl will not follow the rules of the restraining order and let her boyfriend come over and see the kids. Can you get in trouble? I know she really didn't want to get a restraining order in the first place and I know she is having second thoughts about it now. Can she cancel the order?

If she's going to let him come over to see the kids why did she clog up the Courts getting a RO?


Judge Judy would kick her ass.

A final protective order is not easy to obtain. So if its not a final order yet, she can choose to not follow through. If it is a final order she can send a motion to the court to have it recinded, however, both parties will have to go in front of a judge and the judge will determine if it should stay in place.

But he should follow the order, no matter what she may say.

If she's going to let him come over to see the kids why did she clog up the Courts getting a RO?


Judge Judy would kick her ass.:yeahthat: And if she breaks the restraining order and wants another, she may have a hard time getting another. She may be SOL.

I have a question about a restraining order. If the person who obtained a restraining order against the father of her kids breaks this restraining order can she get in trouble? I know of a situation that I'm sure the girl will not follow the rules of the restraining order and let her boyfriend come over and see the kids. Can you get in trouble? I know she really didn't want to get a restraining order in the first place and I know she is having second thoughts about it now. Can she cancel the order?

Let me preface this by saying. I do believe that there are people that need protective orders. However the majority of the ones that are issued are bs.

Some of the people are back together the next day. In that situation if they are caught together they should be locked up and the protection order recinded. Protection orders are for people who need them. Not as a means to get back at someone because they pissed you off. You can't have your cake and eat it too. She would have to request the protective order be vacated. In my opinion she should not be allowed to request another one against him as well .

Let me preface this by saying. I do believe that there are people that need protective orders. However the majority of the ones that are issued are bs.

Some of the people are back together the next day. In that situation if they are caught together they should be locked up and the protection order recinded. Protection orders are for people who need them. Not as a means to get back at someone because they pissed you off. You can't have your cake and eat it too. She would have to request the protective order be vacated. In my opinion she should not be allowed to request another one against him as well .

This all just happened last night so it is only a temporary one. She goes to court on Monday and Thursday for the final one. She was told that if she didn't show up in court that she probably would not be able to get another one is the future. Of course, she was very upset last night but I'm afraid today she is having second thoughts about it. He did give her a black eye and kicked her leg. But they fight all the time; this time was the first time he actually hit her and left a mark. It is a very bad situation.

This all just happened last night so it is only a temporary one. She goes to court on Monday and Thursday for the final one. She was told that if she didn't show up in court that she probably would not be able to get another one is the future. Of course, she was very upset last night but I'm afraid today she is having second thoughts about it. He did give her a black eye and kicked her leg. But they fight all the time; this time was the first time he actually hit her and left a mark. It is a very bad situation.

Why would she want to be around someone who hit her? And more importantly, why would she want her children anywhere around someone who may hit them?

She needs to get herself and her children away from this guy.

He did give her a black eye and kicked her leg. But they fight all the time; this time was the first time he actually hit her and left a mark. It is a very bad situation.

So apparently he didn't beat enough sense into her? Please encourage her to keep the RO in place and ditch this guy.

This all just happened last night so it is only a temporary one. She goes to court on Monday and Thursday for the final one. She was told that if she didn't show up in court that she probably would not be able to get another one is the future. Of course, she was very upset last night but I'm afraid today she is having second thoughts about it. He did give her a black eye and kicked her leg. But they fight all the time; this time was the first time he actually hit her and left a mark. It is a very bad situation.

I understand that. Thats the thing. We all get angry...minus the physical hitting and stuff. What people don't realize is that protective orders can ruin someone's life. Especially if they are bs. One of my best guy friends had a crazy ex wife and she was so spiteful and vengeful it finally got to the point where cps took the kids from her. They should only be used as a LAST resort. His life was crap for a long time all because of a wacko!

This all just happened last night so it is only a temporary one. She goes to court on Monday and Thursday for the final one. She was told that if she didn't show up in court that she probably would not be able to get another one is the future. Of course, she was very upset last night but I'm afraid today she is having second thoughts about it. He did give her a black eye and kicked her leg. But they fight all the time; this time was the first time he actually hit her and left a mark. It is a very bad situation.

So he has hit her before?

So he has hit her before?

Unfortunately yes, but this was the worst.

Unfortunately yes, but this was the worst.

And she is having second thoughts?

This all just happened last night so it is only a temporary one. She goes to court on Monday and Thursday for the final one. She was told that if she didn't show up in court that she probably would not be able to get another one is the future. Of course, she was very upset last night but I'm afraid today she is having second thoughts about it. He did give her a black eye and kicked her leg. But they fight all the time; this time was the first time he actually hit her and left a mark. It is a very bad situation.The guy kicked her in the leg and gave her a blackeye and she's having second thoughts? :doh:

Why would she want to be around someone who hit her? And more importantly, why would she want her children anywhere around someone who may hit them?

She needs to get herself and her children away from this guy.

Yea she does need to get away from him. The problem is they both have very bad tempers so when they get mad at each other, one cannot just shut up. They both have to yell and scream and hit. I do worry about the kids involved.

I have a question about a restraining order. If the person who obtained a restraining order against the father of her kids breaks this restraining order can she get in trouble? I know of a situation that I'm sure the girl will not follow the rules of the restraining order and let her boyfriend come over and see the kids. Can you get in trouble? I know she really didn't want to get a restraining order in the first place and I know she is having second thoughts about it now. Can she cancel the order?

If she contacts him, yes, she will be arrested and charged with violating a protective order.

Statistics and personal experience show it will only get worse. Think about those KIDS first. There may not be a "next time" for her to apply for one.

This all just happened last night so it is only a temporary one. She goes to court on Monday and Thursday for the final one. She was told that if she didn't show up in court that she probably would not be able to get another one is the future. Of course, she was very upset last night but I'm afraid today she is having second thoughts about it. He did give her a black eye and kicked her leg. But they fight all the time; this time was the first time he actually hit her and left a mark. It is a very bad situation.

and she is having second thoughts about the restraining order?

Yea she does need to get away from him. The problem is they both have very bad tempers so when they get mad at each other, one cannot just shut up. They both have to yell and scream and hit. I do worry about the kids involved.

COntact social services and tell them. Maybe the kids need to be removed from the home if they are not safe. Abuse is not only physical you know. Mental abuse sometimes leave deeper scars. Just saying.

Yea she does need to get away from him. The problem is they both have very bad tempers so when they get mad at each other, one cannot just shut up. They both have to yell and scream and hit. I do worry about the kids involved.

If she decides she wants to stay with someone who has just given her a black eye and kicked her in her leg, go for it. Beat the hell out of one another and enjoy it. But the children should be removed from the home. If you are the grandmother, imho, you should call social services and tell them whats going on. If it was my grandkids, they wouldnt be witnessing that bs.

This all just happened last night so it is only a temporary one. She goes to court on Monday and Thursday for the final one. She was told that if she didn't show up in court that she probably would not be able to get another one is the future. Of course, she was very upset last night but I'm afraid today she is having second thoughts about it. He did give her a black eye and kicked her leg. But they fight all the time; this time was the first time he actually hit her and left a mark. It is a very bad situation.

Eh... With the judges in this county.. Not all RO's are granted. I would hope that commone sense would prevail. If she doesn't feel comfortable talking to him,I would reccomend a friend, or a family member communicate with him in ref to the children. She may feel guilty about it, but at the end of the day it's her choice.

She should have had him arrested for hitting her. The Black Eye is evidence enough, and hopefully..pictures were taken. Unfortunately, in some cases, the Woman feels like nobody else would want her, so she ends up going back to the POS, for financial security, falsely thinking "He won't do it again", or "The kids deserve having BOTH Parents", or "We can work this out". Having been in Law Enforcement many years ago, I saw this ALL the time, and it is frustrating, as well as sad. It's easy for me to say "Move on", but only she will be able to make the decision. Let's just hope that it isn't too late. I am a FIRM believer of the saying "It's better to COME from a broken home, than it is to LIVE in one".

Walden Sienna (sp) has some great free programs to help woman like this. They are kind and helpful and not judgmental which is what she needs right now. Maybe you could call and find out more.

This all just happened last night so it is only a temporary one. She goes to court on Monday and Thursday for the final one. She was told that if she didn't show up in court that she probably would not be able to get another one is the future. Of course, she was very upset last night but I'm afraid today she is having second thoughts about it. He did give her a black eye and kicked her leg. But they fight all the time; this time was the first time he actually hit her and left a mark. It is a very bad situation.

here is the deal.... one an abuser... ALWAYS an abuser....

and that goes for verbal, physical and even mental. He will not change...and she needs to understand that. The reason she feels like she does is that he has worn/broke her Self-esteem down so low that she really thinks he is good for her. And she cant do better, and she needs him in her life.

here is the deal.... one an abuser... ALWAYS an abuser....

and that goes for verbal, physical and even mental. He will not change...and she needs to understand that. The reason she feels like she does is that he has worn/broke her Self-esteem down so low that she really thinks he is good for her. And she cant do better, and she needs him in her life.

I believe this is what she thinks. I think they both need counseling.

here is the deal.... one an abuser... ALWAYS an abuser....
.

Sounds to me like there are more than one abuser in this relationship. The children need to be removed from danger until both the parents can grow up.

This all just happened last night so it is only a temporary one. She goes to court on Monday and Thursday for the final one. She was told that if she didn't show up in court that she probably would not be able to get another one is the future. Of course, she was very upset last night but I'm afraid today she is having second thoughts about it. He did give her a black eye and kicked her leg. But they fight all the time; this time was the first time he actually hit her and left a mark. It is a very bad situation.

I obviously do not know the situation, but this is something I will never understand, especially with kids involved. I understand the financial security aspect and how difficult it is to leave, but kids should be top priority. Children aren't stupid, they know what goes on.

Sounds to me like there are more than one abuser in this relationship. The children need to be removed from danger until both the parents can grow up.

true... it does take two to tango....

... and most cases the female has also hit the male during fights. Sometimes cutting the ties is the hardest thing to do... but is the right thing to do for the kids.

there are many kids that grow up with only one parent.

I obviously do not know the situation, but this is something I will never understand, especially with kids involved. I understand the financial security aspect and how difficult it is to leave, but kids should be top priority. Children aren't stupid, they know what goes on.

so true!!!


and when kids are used as the pawns... this makes me :burning:

true... it does take two to tango....

... and most cases the female has also hit the male during fights. Sometimes cutting the ties is the hardest thing to do... but is the right thing to do for the kids.

there are many kids that grow up with only one parent.

Some of us even prefer it. When my parents were together, it was terrible. I begged my mom to get rid of my dad. My bedroom was right next to theirs so I could hear everything. I still remember laying in bed and hearing them fight and then the sound of something hitting the wall. I ran in and my mom was on the floor. The next morning, she had a black eye. Thank god she finally came to here sense and kicked him out for good eventually.

I hope your daughter realizes that this enviroment is not good for the kids and gets out for good. If not, you need to step in and get those kids out of there yourself. That fight I described happened over 30 years ago yet I can still remember every bit of it. Those things stick in a kid's mind and they grow up to either repeat the pattern or resent the parent who caused it.

And she is having second thoughts?

But its kinda ok, she wuvs hims, come hear rose let me black your eye and show you some love. Some women get abused they seem to luv there man even more, arent we powerful. IMO mostly due to insecurity. OK Rose get the restraining order, I will be back soon to blacken the other eye and you will luv me even more the first. I could be nice and blacken both eyes at the same time if you'd like so it won't look odd, I am so considerate :howdy:

I have a question about a restraining order. If the person who obtained a restraining order against the father of her kids breaks this restraining order can she get in trouble? I know of a situation that I'm sure the girl will not follow the rules of the restraining order and let her boyfriend come over and see the kids. Can you get in trouble? I know she really didn't want to get a restraining order in the first place and I know she is having second thoughts about it now. Can she cancel the order?

Nothing a good pot of hot grits can't fix.

Some of us even prefer it. When my parents were together, it was terrible. I begged my mom to get rid of my dad. My bedroom was right next to theirs so I could hear everything. I still remember laying in bed and hearing them fight and then the sound of something hitting the wall. I ran in and my mom was on the floor. The next morning, she had a black eye. Thank god she finally came to here sense and kicked him out for good eventually.

I hope your daughter realizes that this enviroment is not good for the kids and gets out for good. If not, you need to step in and get those kids out of there yourself. That fight I described happened over 30 years ago yet I can still remember every bit of it. Those things stick in a kid's mind and they grow up to either repeat the pattern or resent the parent who caused it.

:huggy:...sorry you had to go thru that.... no child should ever have to deal with that... AND remember it for this long.

Some of us even prefer it. When my parents were together, it was terrible. I begged my mom to get rid of my dad. My bedroom was right next to theirs so I could hear everything. I still remember laying in bed and hearing them fight and then the sound of something hitting the wall. I ran in and my mom was on the floor. The next morning, she had a black eye. Thank god she finally came to here sense and kicked him out for good eventually.

I hope your daughter realizes that this enviroment is not good for the kids and gets out for good. If not, you need to step in and get those kids out of there yourself. That fight I described happened over 30 years ago yet I can still remember every bit of it. Those things stick in a kid's mind and they grow up to either repeat the pattern or resent the parent who caused it.

I used to beg my mom to leave. I'd rather have lived in a tent without food and running water than with my father. She never did :ohwell:

I used to beg my mom to leave. I'd rather have lived in a tent without food and running water than with my father. She never did :ohwell:

and "ALL" have stories to tell. very sad



sure hope you pay attention to this :coffee:

I used to beg my mom to leave. I'd rather have lived in a tent without food and running water than with my father. She never did :ohwell:

What makes the women stay beside insecurity, what others might say, embarrassment, don't want the Jones's to know, also I am staying for the kids (so willing to sacrafice ass whoopings once in a while). I don't have know where to go.

What makes the women stay beside insecurity, what others might say, embarrassment, don't want the Jones's to know, also I am staying for the kids. I don't have know where to go.

The same things that lead her to let him father one or more whelps without the commitment of a wedding, probably.

I used to beg my mom to leave. I'd rather have lived in a tent without food and running water than with my father. She never did :ohwell:

I know exactly what your talking about, sad.

Abuse is abuse and children get caught in the middle.

My parents should have divorced long before they did. They *stayed together for the sake of the children* Unfortunately for us, they lived together for over 2 years w/o saying a word to each other. I was their messenger between the ages of 9 to 11. Neither of them had anything nice to say, either.

There are many reasons I did not have children and having grown up this way was one of them.

But its kinda ok, she wuvs hims, come hear rose let me black your eye and show you some love. Some women get abused they seem to luv there man even more, arent we powerful. IMO mostly due to insecurity. OK Rose get the restraining order, I will be back soon to blacken the other eye and you will luv me even more the first. I could be nice and blacken both eyes at the same time if you'd like so it won't look odd, I am so considerate :howdy:

It's good to be single and not have to answer to ANYONE. :lol:

Abuse is abuse and children get caught in the middle.

My parents should have divorced long before they did. They *stayed together for the sake of the children* Unfortunately for us, they lived together for over 2 years w/o saying a word to each other. I was their messenger between the ages of 9 to 11. Neither of them had anything nice to say, either.

There are many reasons I did not have children and having grown up this way was one of them.

See the psychological effects of children around abuse, no kids, but I bet you have a dog or cat.

My mom's demeanor completely changed once my dad was out of the house. She was never allowed to be herself when he was around. Once he was gone, she was happier and you could tell that the weight of the world had been lifted off her shoulders. She had been a SAHM for 20 years and suddenly had to find a job and care for two kids at home and one at college. I am very proud of my mom and what she did and although times were tough sometimes, the whole household thrived in the better enviroment. We were all scared of my dad and the crap he put all of us through.

See the psychological effects of children around abuse, no kids, but I bet you have a dog or cat.

Currently 6 cats and 2 dogs :lol:

I obviously do not know the situation, but this is something I will never understand, especially with kids involved. I understand the financial security aspect and how difficult it is to leave, but kids should be top priority. Children aren't stupid, they know what goes on.

READ post # 23.

READ post # 23.

Me personally, I'll never understand. I'm not passing judgment on anyone.

Me personally, I'll never understand. I'm not passing judgment on anyone.

i have not been in a physical abusive relationship (well it was going that way)... but one that was very verbal and mental abuse


so you have NEVER had anyone close to you in a relationship like that??? to where you saw what they went thru.... how they questioned everthing they wanted to do... they knew it was the right thing to leave.. but would have to face abuse for leaving...

Me personally, I'll never understand. I'm not passing judgment on anyone.

Until you find your self a member of this club.

Me personally, I'll never understand. I'm not passing judgment on anyone.

There is no logic to it because people in this situation are not in the norm. Let me come over and be your man for a while blacken your eye time to time so you will get a better understanding.

Stupid people.

Until you find your self a member of this club.

I was a member of that club. I found the strength to get out.

I was a member of that club. I found the strength to get out.

ok... and now you know.. and will never let it get that way again..


some people are not as strong as we are.... and have been beaten down to feel they are worthless and dont matter to others.


I kinda understand why you say you dont understand.... but i think its more..you dont understand how they cant break away, cut the ties all the way..

I often wonder about this same thing about some i know :coffee:

I have a question about a restraining order. If the person who obtained a restraining order against the father of her kids breaks this restraining order can she get in trouble? I know of a situation that I'm sure the girl will not follow the rules of the restraining order and let her boyfriend come over and see the kids. Can you get in trouble? I know she really didn't want to get a restraining order in the first place and I know she is having second thoughts about it now. Can she cancel the order?

No she cant. She can do whatever she wants without violating it. It only applies to the respondent of the order. In MD they are called protective orders.

No she cant. She can do whatever she wants without violating it. It only applies to the respondent of the order. In MD they are called protective orders.

And....I believe if he is eating at a restaurant and she shows up, he would have to get up and leave, no questions asked......not very fair at times but............

No she cant. She can do whatever she wants without violating it. It only applies to the respondent of the order. In MD they are called protective orders.

Actually, in MD, they're called peace orders or protective orders. It depends on various circumstances.

http://www.courts.state.md.us/courtforms/joint/ccdcdvpo001br.pdf

MARYLAND PETITION FOR PROTECTION FORM (http://www.courts.state.md.us/family/forms/protectorder.html)


.

Not enough love in the world to stay around someone that hits me and might endanger my children. Why waste time to file for one and not hold to it? Like stated above, if she lets it ride now...next time when she really needs one again she may be SOL. She needs to do some real serious thinking putting her feelings aside and thinking of whats best for her children.

All my adult life every time I've heard the words "We stay together because of the children" I've gagged. How is a child better off having both parents if its all physical fighting they don't need to see or verbal filth and disclosures of things children don't need to hear about either parent?
Sticks with you forever as a few above stated.



:coffee:

Yay a white trash thread!

Yay a white trash thread!

Abuse isn't limited to white trash.

get those kids out of there, the adults are white trash for putting those kids in the middle of it

Actually, in MD, they're called peace orders or protective orders. It depends on various circumstances.

http://www.courts.state.md.us/courtforms/joint/ccdcdvpo001br.pdf

MARYLAND PETITION FOR PROTECTION FORM (http://www.courts.state.md.us/family/forms/protectorder.html).

I was aware.....the context of the OP was a husband/wife or boyfriend/girlfriend....which is a protective order. Neighbors would be a peace order.

get those kids out of there, the adults are white trash for putting those kids in the middle of it
Let's not make this a "Racial Issue". Who said they were "WHITE" anyway?

Let's not make this a "Racial Issue". Who said they were "WHITE" anyway?

Well ok a trash thread then.

Well ok a trash thread then.

maybe I hit a nerve...

maybe I hit a nerve...
No, I just wanted to start some Chit!!

What makes the women stay beside insecurity, what others might say, embarrassment, don't want the Jones's to know, also I am staying for the kids (so willing to sacrafice ass whoopings once in a while). I don't have know where to go.

Some stay for the sympathy, too, as sick as that sounds. I had a neighbor in Waldorf who only came over to visit with some made up reason to talk when she had a good shiner to "hide" (read: show off). I thought she was asking for help, so I flat out asked her one time and she told me to mind my own business and her husband was a good man and a great provider. And she was mad the night we called the cops because he was beating the crap out of her right outside our bedroom window at about 2am. To this day, I don't know how he stayed out of jail on domestic violence. I kept my kids as far away from hers as I could once I saw that the youngest boy was starting to be a bully, too.

Some stay for the sympathy, too, as sick as that sounds. I had a neighbor in Waldorf who only came over to visit with some made up reason to talk when she had a good shiner to "hide" (read: show off). I thought she was asking for help, so I flat out asked her one time and she told me to mind my own business and her husband was a good man and a great provider. And she was mad the night we called the cops because he was beating the crap out of her right outside our bedroom window at about 2am. To this day, I don't know how he stayed out of jail on domestic violence. I kept my kids as far away from hers as I could once I saw that the youngest boy was starting to be a bully, too.

A trophy shiner.

Some stay for the sympathy, too, as sick as that sounds. I had a neighbor in Waldorf who only came over to visit with some made up reason to talk when she had a good shiner to "hide" (read: show off). I thought she was asking for help, so I flat out asked her one time and she told me to mind my own business and her husband was a good man and a great provider. And she was mad the night we called the cops because he was beating the crap out of her right outside our bedroom window at about 2am. To this day, I don't know how he stayed out of jail on domestic violence. I kept my kids as far away from hers as I could once I saw that the youngest boy was starting to be a bully, too.

Men that hit women should be tazed for about 1 hour, and then have a 4X4 rammed up their azz. Ladies if your man is whoooping your azz, a pot of hot grits should fix the problem as he is sleeping. It just might get his attention to the fact that your not taking it anymore.

If she contacts him, yes, she will be arrested and charged with violating a protective order.

If she is the petitioner and he is the respondent, then NO, she will not get in trouble for allowing him to violate the protective order. He is the only person who (by law) can violate the protective order.

I have a question about a restraining order. If the person who obtained a restraining order against the father of her kids breaks this restraining order can she get in trouble? I know of a situation that I'm sure the girl will not follow the rules of the restraining order and let her boyfriend come over and see the kids. Can you get in trouble? I know she really didn't want to get a restraining order in the first place and I know she is having second thoughts about it now. Can she cancel the order?
Sorry, I'm not going to read all 7 pages...so excuse the duplication

If she has even a temproray peace bond, do not contact or whatever you call tem order she has to go to court to have it canceled.

Her permission alone means nothing. If they find him in violation he will immediately go to jail, do not pass go, do not collect $200. She can protest all she wants, the only thing that would change would be her being put in cufffs as well.

She went to court and canceled it. She isn't too smart!!!!!!

She went to court and canceled it. She isn't too smart!!!!!!
OMG..sorry to hear that.

i agree with granny she sure as heck must not have all her marbles if she did this if it happens again i bet the police tell her sorry about your luck you should have never cancelled the first restraining order as next time its going to be probably worse than it was this time around.

She went to court and canceled it. She isn't too smart!!!!!!

Take care of those kids!! Right now NO ONE is speaking for them! Let the so-called adults deal with the consequences of their own stupid decisions. Get those kids out of there before one of them gets hurt even more than they already are!

Take care of those kids!! Right now NO ONE is speaking for them! Let the so-called adults deal with the consequences of their own stupid decisions. Get those kids out of there before one of them gets hurt even more than they already are!

Agreed. If she has no respect for herself, fine. But to keep her children in harms way? Unacceptable. CPS should be notified so the kids are taken from that home and placed someplace safe.

After having to get two peace orders, I can tell you lots of information about the process. I had to get peace orders which are only good for six months because I had never lived with my abuser, even though he was my ex-boyfriend at the time that I had to get the peace orders. He stalked me for over two and a half years after the end of our relationship just to make it difficult for me to live a life without fear (lucky me he lived exactly one mile from my house that I had lived my entire life in and I ended up having to move). My best advice for this woman and her children (after having raised his child as though she was my own) is to get rid of any man that would raise his hand towards her or her children. I have done everything in my power to protect that child that I raised and for a while that meant seperating myself from her completely because that was the only way that I could protect her from her father because my presense represented even more danger to her. If this woman is raising her hands in anger against her children or her "boyfriend" then she too deserves to have to give up care for her children until she can take parenting classes and domestic violence counseling. I have been a nanny for over three years and a babysitter for numberous years before, I have seen the damage that not protecting children or the putting the children first can do. They should not stay together "for the sake of the children" nor should they use their anger at eachother against their children.

That's what I've seen and experienced first hand. I had parents who were verbally abusive to each other and I found myself abused by a man who was several than I was in every way possible for a man to abuse a woman.