justhangn
01-31-2003, 07:29 AM
1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.
2. Learn to work the toilet seat. If it's up, put it down.
3. Don't cut your hair. Ever.
4. Sometimes, we're not thinking about you. Live with it.
5. Get rid of your cat.
6. Sunday = Sports
7. Anything you wear is fine. Really.
8. Women wearing wonder bras and low-cut blouses lose their
right to complain about having their boobs stared at.
9. You have too many shoes.
10 Crying is blackmail.
11. Ask for what you want. Subtle hints don't work.
12. Mark anniversaries on a calendar.
13. Yes, pissing standing up is more difficult than peeing from
point blank range. We're bound to miss sometimes.
14. Yes, and No are perfectly acceptable answers.
15. A headache for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.
16. Don't fake it. We'd rather be ineffective than deceived.
17. Anything we said 6 or 8 months ago is inadmissible in an
argument.
18. If you don't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't
expect us to act like soap opera guys.
19. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one
of the ways makes you sad and angry, we meant the other one.
20. Let us ogle. If we don't look at other women, how can we
know how pretty you are?
21. Don't rub the lamp if you don't want the genie to come out.
22. You can either ask us to do something OR tell us how you
want it done - Not both.
23. Christopher Columbus didn't need directions, and neither
do we.
24. You have enough clothes.
25. Nothing says, "I love you," like sex.
2. Learn to work the toilet seat. If it's up, put it down.
3. Don't cut your hair. Ever.
4. Sometimes, we're not thinking about you. Live with it.
5. Get rid of your cat.
6. Sunday = Sports
7. Anything you wear is fine. Really.
8. Women wearing wonder bras and low-cut blouses lose their
right to complain about having their boobs stared at.
9. You have too many shoes.
10 Crying is blackmail.
11. Ask for what you want. Subtle hints don't work.
12. Mark anniversaries on a calendar.
13. Yes, pissing standing up is more difficult than peeing from
point blank range. We're bound to miss sometimes.
14. Yes, and No are perfectly acceptable answers.
15. A headache for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.
16. Don't fake it. We'd rather be ineffective than deceived.
17. Anything we said 6 or 8 months ago is inadmissible in an
argument.
18. If you don't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't
expect us to act like soap opera guys.
19. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one
of the ways makes you sad and angry, we meant the other one.
20. Let us ogle. If we don't look at other women, how can we
know how pretty you are?
21. Don't rub the lamp if you don't want the genie to come out.
22. You can either ask us to do something OR tell us how you
want it done - Not both.
23. Christopher Columbus didn't need directions, and neither
do we.
24. You have enough clothes.
25. Nothing says, "I love you," like sex.