my son was recently transported to the hospital by ambulance. I won't give his age on here for privacy, but he is a very young child, but older than an infant. The ambulance was called because he was sick, and had a high fever. I did not find out until the next day. Me and his mom are separated, and I am there for him all the time, but he has a "step-father" also. I want to know the opinions of people on this matter, of not being notified until the next day. By the way, it was fairly late at night when the ambulance was called.

If you are still actively involved in the childs life I think you should have at least gotten a phone call :shrug:

Wouldn't it be the mother's responsibility to call you? I'm just wondering if you are trying to say it's the EMT's fault for not notifying you. :confused:

If it was urgent enough for them to call and ambulance than it would be urgent enough for them to contact you IMO.

my son was recently transported to the hospital by ambulance. I won't give his age on here for privacy, but he is a very young child, but older than an infant. The ambulance was called because he was sick, and had a high fever. I did not find out until the next day. Me and his mom are separated, and I am there for him all the time, but he has a "step-father" also. I want to know the opinions of people on this matter, of not being notified until the next day. By the way, it was fairly late at night when the ambulance was called.

IMO, you shouldn't automatically assume she didn't call you in the middle of the night for the spite of it. You should assume she didn't know if she should wake you for something that was under control. Take this opportunity to discuss this with her and let her know you want to be called should it ever happen again. No need for ill feelings.

Wouldn't it be the mother's responsibility to call you? I'm just wondering if you are trying to say it's the EMT's fault for not notifying you. :confused:

No, I absolutely am not blaming EMS for anything. I have the highest respect for EMS and Firefighters, in fact, I am a volunteer EMT myself. I am asking the opinion of the child's mothers actions, not EMS at all.

I want to know the opinions of people on this matter, of not being notified until the next day. By the way, it was fairly late at night when the ambulance was called.

Maybe the ex didn't want to wake you up late at night since it wasn't a life-threatening emergency. It sounds like she did do the right thing by calling, just not at the time you would have wanted.

Maybe the ex didn't want to wake you up late at night since it wasn't a life-threatening emergency. It sounds like she did do the right thing by calling, just not at the time you would have wanted.

Exactly. Seems to me all you need to do is let her know you want to be called immediately no matter the time should something like this happen again. It's a judgement call and there are some who would be fine with a phone call in the morning saying all is taken care of.

IMO, you shouldn't automatically assume she didn't call you in the middle of the night for the spite of it. You should assume she didn't know if she should wake you for something that was under control. Take this opportunity to discuss this with her and let her know you want to be called should it ever happen again. No need for ill feelings.

I was just getting ready to say something like that. We've been in the situation before when kids' mom calls us after everything is ok to tell us girlie was at the hospital. We trust her judgement, and she trusts ours. :shrug:

Honestly, I wouldn't call my spouse until the next day if he was away and this happened (assuming all was under control and it was also during sleeping hours).

Exactly. Seems to me all you need to do is let her know you want to be called immediately no matter the time should something like this happen again. It's a judgement call and there are some who would be fine with a phone call in the morning saying all is taken care of.

I agree. She was probably just concentrating on the child and the information being given and received. I'd let her know how you feel but not hold it against her. Sometimes your just not thinking when there is a medical emergency, especially with a child. Be glad she called EMS if she felt the situation called for it and that she DID call you in the morning. However, I can understand you wanting to be called immediately.

I think the father should have been called right after 911. He is the child's father and it should be up to him to determine if he wants to be at the hospital with HIS child or not.

I think the father should have been called right after 911. He is the child's father and it should be up to him to determine if he wants to be at the hospital with HIS child or not.

I agree! If the situation were reversed and our child was at his house and he had to call 911 I would want a call at the very least once they arrived at the hospital.

What if things were not ok?

my son was recently transported to the hospital by ambulance. I won't give his age on here for privacy, but he is a very young child, but older than an infant. The ambulance was called because he was sick, and had a high fever. I did not find out until the next day. Me and his mom are separated, and I am there for him all the time, but he has a "step-father" also. I want to know the opinions of people on this matter, of not being notified until the next day. By the way, it was fairly late at night when the ambulance was called.

You are MORE than separated. Seeing has how you are "there for him all the time" a late night call should have been made to you....IMHO

IMO, you shouldn't automatically assume she didn't call you in the middle of the night for the spite of it. You should assume she didn't know if she should wake you for something that was under control. Take this opportunity to discuss this with her and let her know you want to be called should it ever happen again. No need for ill feelings.

I agree with the above statement. Definitely let her know your wishes for future situations. Too many people (including myself), assume the other person's intentions were malice, when in reality, it's not malice at all--maybe just miscommunication.

I think the father should have been called right after 911. He is the child's father and it should be up to him to determine if he wants to be at the hospital with HIS child or not.

I agree, and it might be a totally different situation, but early this year girl's fever spiked and I was on the phone with the doctor and had her in the tub. She was crying (screaming) and I was a nervous wreck. There's no way I could have called dad or mom until I got her fever under control and she was resting. Honesly, if I'd had to take her to the hospital, I'm not sure if I would have called from the car or waited until we got to the hospital and gotten everything under control.

Calling 911 is a little different, because you have time until the ambulance gets there, but who knows if she was on the phone with the dispatcher or not. :shrug: Maybe the mom's SO could have called.

I agree, and it might be a totally different situation, but early this year girl's fever spiked and I was on the phone with the doctor and had her in the tub. She was crying (screaming) and I was a nervous wreck. There's no way I could have called dad or mom until I got her fever under control and she was resting. Honesly, if I'd had to take her to the hospital, I'm not sure if I would have called from the car or waited until we got to the hospital and gotten everything under control.

Calling 911 is a little different, because you have time until the ambulance gets there, but who knows if she was on the phone with the dispatcher or not. :shrug: Maybe the mom's SO could have called.

Of course the first priority is the child, but as soon as is possible, the father (or mother) should be notified. Doing so avoids the BS later. I called...you didn't come. Then mom or dad has no room to complain. :yay:

I agree! If the situation were reversed and our child was at his house and he had to call 911 I would want a call at the very least once they arrived at the hospital.

What if things were not ok?

So this is where he tells her that he wants to be called immediately in the future. Again, no need to make a huge issue of it at this point and no need to assume malice. Now if he let's her know his wishes and she choses to ignore them should it happen again, then he has a reason to get bent.

So this is where he tells her that he wants to be called immediately in the future. Again, no need to make a huge issue of it at this point and no need to assume malice. Now if he let's her know his wishes and she choses to ignore them should it happen again, then he has a reason to get bent.

I agree it is best to just relax and give her the benefit of the doubt... but personally I would be so damn mad! WTH was going through his/her mind to not thing I should get a phone call regarding my childs condition.

I hate my ex-husband with a passion but when it comes to our son - he deserves to be contacted and to be part of what ever it is. Our son was hurt and was taken to Childrens, I called him while waiting for the chopper to arrive so he could meet us when he could at the the hospital. You never know what your child has or what is going to happen and would you forgive yourself if it was the last time they could have seen them???

I hate my ex-husband with a passion but when it comes to our son - he deserves to be contacted and to be part of what ever it is. Our son was hurt and was taken to Childrens, I called him while waiting for the chopper to arrive so he could meet us when he could at the the hospital. You never know what your child has or what is going to happen and would you forgive yourself if it was the last time they could have seen them???

I would feel awful!

No, I absolutely am not blaming EMS for anything. I have the highest respect for EMS and Firefighters, in fact, I am a volunteer EMT myself. I am asking the opinion of the child's mothers actions, not EMS at all.

I would tell her she should have called you, that you wanted her to call you and you would have called her were the situation reversed. You would have, right?

From there, she's gonna tell you why she didn't and either you accept it and get over it or get in a fight over it. Your choice.

Either way, you told her what you would have preferred her to do. If you tell her nicely, should be no big deal.

I hate my ex-husband with a passion but when it comes to our son - he deserves to be contacted and to be part of what ever it is. Our son was hurt and was taken to Childrens, I called him while waiting for the chopper to arrive so he could meet us when he could at the the hospital. You never know what your child has or what is going to happen and would you forgive yourself if it was the last time they could have seen them???

Bingo!

I agree it is best to just relax and give her the benefit of the doubt... but personally I would be so damn mad! WTH was going through his/her mind to not thing I should get a phone call regarding my childs condition.
I'm thinking the complete focus was on the child and anyone that has dealt with an emergency room knows that the check in process, exams, tests, waiting to hear doc's opionion, etc. can easily span the course of a night without one realizing it. He got a call in the morning giving letting him know what happened.... this call came from a mother that has been up the entire night taking care of things.... and who knows how well she was thinking straight considering she had been dealing with a very sick toddler for probably was was quite some time before the decision to call the ambulance was even made.

She/SO could have called on the way to the hospital... No matter how big or small I would want a call as well...

Glad the child is ok, that's what matters in the end...

I think the father should have been called right after 911. He is the child's father and it should be up to him to determine if he wants to be at the hospital with HIS child or not.

:yeahthat:

I would tell her she should have called you, that you wanted her to call you and you would have called her were the situation reversed. You would have, right?

From there, she's gonna tell you why she didn't and either you accept it and get over it or get in a fight over it. Your choice.

Either way, you told her what you would have preferred her to do. If you tell her nicely, should be no big deal.

And there you go. :yay:

I'm one of those that wouldn't have called until the morning, not out of malice, but because the situation was under control and no need to panic anyone else. However, you (OP) should just tell her that if it happens again, you would like an immediate call and let that be the end of it.

I'm one of those that wouldn't have called until the morning, not out of malice, but because the situation was under control and no need to panic anyone else.

See... that's me too. When my mom had an incident and needed an emergency trip to the hospital, I didn't feel a need to panic my bro and sis by calling them immediately. I called when I had something I could tell them.

When my daughter was critically injured in a car accident, when we arrived via helicopter at the trauma center, I called my ex. We haven't talked since the divorce many years ago. I called a few times to give him updates, then he called my sister and told me to stop calling him. He thought he could just call the trauma center himself to receive updates. Needless to say, they didn't tell him anything and he then had to call MY family to receive updates. He will never have to worry about receiving a call from me again, regardless of the problem.

I'm glad your child is ok. I understand wanting to be notified asap. I would too. Lets hope she was just concerned about the child and called as soon as she felt it was appropriate. Make your feelings known that you want a phone call anytime, day, night or severity next time and hope she follows your wishes.

See... that's me too. When my mom had an incident and needed an emergency trip to the hospital, I didn't feel a need to panic my bro and sis by calling them immediately. I called when I had something I could tell them.


:lol: I didnt write the one you quoted

I had an identical situation like this happen. My ex and I had shared custody of our children at the time. He took the kids out one night when they were with him and my youngest got hurt at the restaurant. The restaurant called an ambulance since it was a head injury (required stitches), and my injured child, my ex AND my other children were all taken by ambulance to the hospital.

I wasn't notified until the next morning, and that was when my oldest called to tell me what happened. She said that Dad wouldn't let her call me when they got home because it was late. Granted, cell phones weren't big back then, but I did have a pager and he didn't bother paging me either. (keep in mind, he called his parents to come get him and take him back to his vehicle...)

I was extremely pizzed, because I felt he could have at least called me to be there for my child, be there for my other children that were with him; not to mention the fact that I also carried the insurance on the kids.

I didn't cause a scene when I found out, but I did make it clear to him that if this happens again in the future, I am to be notified right after 911 had been called, and that I would show him the same respect.

It's all about respect. The other parent should be informed of the situation and they should have the opportunity to choose which course of action they want to take.

I didn't cause a scene when I found out, but I did make it clear to him that if this happens again in the future, I am to be notified right after 911 had been called, and that I would show him the same respect.


This is it... he made a judgement call and it was not the choice you wanted him to have made... you told him so and now he knows. Done.

If it's severe enough you need to call 911/ambulance instead of taking the child yourself to the doctor or emergency room, it's severe enough to call the other parent at that point also.

my son was recently transported to the hospital by ambulance. I won't give his age on here for privacy, but he is a very young child, but older than an infant. The ambulance was called because he was sick, and had a high fever. I did not find out until the next day. Me and his mom are separated, and I am there for him all the time, but he has a "step-father" also. I want to know the opinions of people on this matter, of not being notified until the next day. By the way, it was fairly late at night when the ambulance was called.
I think once they get to the hospital and have an idea of what is going on, then you should be called. I don't get why they called an ambulance. Seems to me like they should have driven the child to the hospital? A high fever?

I think once they get to the hospital and have an idea of what is going on, then you should be called. I don't get why they called an ambulance. Seems to me like they should have driven the child to the hospital? A high fever?

Maybe they didn't have a ride? :shrug: Wouldn't be the first time an ambulance was called for that reason alone.

I think once they get to the hospital and have an idea of what is going on, then you should be called. I don't get why they called an ambulance. Seems to me like they should have driven the child to the hospital? A high fever?

Actually, it is recommended that for a child you call an ambulance once a fever reaches 103 degrees, because it can begin adversely affecting the brain, and causes seizures/convulsions, and unconsciousness in severe cases, and his temp was above 103. I am happy that she called 911 and had him transported to the hospital and taken care of, I am just pissed that she didn't tell me until this morning, when all of this happened during the night.

Actually, it is recommended that for a child you call an ambulance once a fever reaches 103 degrees, because it can begin adversely affecting the brain, and causes seizures/convulsions, and unconsciousness in severe cases, and his temp was above 103. I am happy that she called 911 and had him transported to the hospital and taken care of, I am just pissed that she didn't tell me until this morning, when all of this happened during the night.

I am a step-dad and would never consider not calling my step-kids' father. Even though he lives 3 hours away I want him to know what going on with his kids and would also keep him updated with everything. I find your situation unconscionable.

Thank you for your volunteer or paid service.:yay:
You are right on about contacting 911 for EMS w/a sick child-better to err on caution. Nothing worse than a parent or parents driving their sick infant/toddler and she/he goes into full blown seizures or worse. That is was EMS is for!
Bottom line-you should have been called.

Maybe the ex didn't want to wake you up late at night since it wasn't a life-threatening emergency. It sounds like she did do the right thing by calling, just not at the time you would have wanted.
I have to agree with this. That's what I would have done.

So this is where he tells her that he wants to be called immediately in the future. Again, no need to make a huge issue of it at this point and no need to assume malice. Now if he let's her know his wishes and she choses to ignore them should it happen again, then he has a reason to get bent.


how would she like it if the situation were reversed??? Ask her and see what the response is.