MEN ARE JUST HAPPIER PEOPLE

NICKNAMES

If Laura, Kate and Sarah go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura,
Kate and Sarah.
If Mike, Dave and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each other
as Fat Boy, Godzilla and Four-eyes.


EATING OUT

When the bill arrives, Mike, Dave and John will each throw in $20, even
though it's only for $32.50. None of them will have anything smaller and
none will actually admit they want change back.
When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.


MONEY

A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need but it's on sale.


BATHROOMS

A man has six items in his bathroom: toothbrush and toothpaste, shaving
cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel .
The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337. A man
would not be able to identify more than 20 of these items.


ARGUMENTS

A woman has the last word in any argument.
Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.


FUTURE

A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.


SUCCESS

A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.


MARRIAGE

A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, but she does.


DRESSING UP

A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the trash,
answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail.
A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.


NATURAL

Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.
Women somehow deteriorate during the night.


OFFSPRING

Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist
appointments and romances, best friends, favorite foods, secret fears and
hopes and dreams.
A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.


THOUGHT FOR THE DAY
A married man should forget his mistakes. There's no use in two people
remembering the same thing!

NATURAL

Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.
Women somehow deteriorate during the night.



That's a lie. :lol:

If men are so much happier, why are they so grouchy all the time?

If men are so much happier, why are they so grouchy all the time?

You talking about the ones that live in the same house as a woman?

:lol:

If men are so much happier, why are they so grouchy all the time?

Some of them are married to #####es.

If men are so much happier, why are they so grouchy all the time?


They woke up looking at the woman that deteriorated overnight

They woke up looking at the woman that deteriorated overnight

:killingme:

If men are so much happier, why are they so grouchy all the time?You talking about the ones that live in the same house as a woman?

:lol:Some of them are married to #####es.

That's why husbands should live seperatley from their wive and just have conjugal visits.

They woke up looking at the woman that deteriorated overnight

Is that cause the makeup is gone, or the beer wore off?:smoochy:

I'm happier because I please myself....

Alot...

That's why husbands should live seperatley from their wive and just have conjugal visits.

How DARE you call my wife a bytch! En guarde! :duel:

How DARE you call my wife a bytch! En guarde! :duel:
Kind sir,
I most humbly request you re-read what I said. I most definately did not call your lovely wife a bytch!, Sharon did. I said that husbands and wives should live seperatley and and only get together for conjugal visits. That way she (the non-specific wife) doesn't have to listen to use yell at the stupid people (politicians, coaches and actors) on TV and we don't have to hear them.
Huntr

Some of them are married to #####es.

How dare you call my wife a bytch! En guarde! :duel:



:lol:

I most definately did not call your lovely wife a bytch!, Sharon did. Nice try. :jerry:

How dare you call my wife a bytch! En guarde! :duel:A pms'ing hubby will bring out the ##### in the best of us. :evil:

Kind sir,
I most humbly request you re-read what I said. I most definately did not call your lovely wife a bytch!, Sharon did. I said that husbands and wives should live seperatley and and only get together for conjugal visits. That way she (the non-specific wife) doesn't have to listen to use yell at the stupid people (politicians, coaches and actors) on TV and we don't have to hear them.
Huntr

Is this after the children are grown or are you going to take the kids and have them live with you? :lol:

Is this after the children are grown or are you going to take the kids and have them live with you? :lol:
Sorry, kids need the gentle hand of Momma. She gets the kids and the cats, I get the sleep.

Nice try. :jerry:

A pms'ing hubby will bring out the ##### in the best of us. :evil:
Note to Larry:
Beward of bytchy women who have guns and know how to use them.
Huntr

Note to Larry:
Beward of bytchy women who have guns and know how to use them.
Huntr

If they know how to use them then I am in no danger. :drama:

Is that cause the makeup is gone, or the beer wore off?:smoochy:


50/50

Is that cause the makeup is gone, or the beer wore off?:smoochy:


Age old Quote: I never went to bed with an ugly women, but I sure have woke up with a few


Southern Maryland (Calvert, Charles, St. Mary's Counties) Public Safety (Police, Fire, EMS) Radio Scanners (http://somd.com/scanner/)

MEN ARE JUST HAPPIER PEOPLE

NICKNAMES

If Laura, Kate and Sarah go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura,
Kate and Sarah.
If Mike, Dave and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each other
as Fat Boy, Godzilla and Four-eyes.


EATING OUT

When the bill arrives, Mike, Dave and John will each throw in $20, even
though it's only for $32.50. None of them will have anything smaller and
none will actually admit they want change back.
When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.


MONEY

A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need but it's on sale.


BATHROOMS

A man has six items in his bathroom: toothbrush and toothpaste, shaving
cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel .
The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337. A man
would not be able to identify more than 20 of these items.


ARGUMENTS

A woman has the last word in any argument.
Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.


FUTURE

A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.


SUCCESS

A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.


MARRIAGE

A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, but she does.


DRESSING UP

A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the trash,
answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail.
A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.


NATURAL

Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.
Women somehow deteriorate during the night.


OFFSPRING

Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist
appointments and romances, best friends, favorite foods, secret fears and
hopes and dreams.
A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.


THOUGHT FOR THE DAY
A married man should forget his mistakes. There's no use in two people
remembering the same thing!

Ever notice how men get better looking with age.. and woman don't :frown:

Some of them are married to #####es.

Indeed.

If men are so much happier, why are they so grouchy all the time?

:killingme

04RJyFCg7ks

Some of them were married to #####es.:fixed: :biggrin:

a mans happiness in a relationship is directly related to the sex.

Ever notice how men get better looking with age.. and woman don't :frown:
You did...:yahoo: