When should mothers that have stayed home to raise their kids return to work?

Is it fair to get some kids to school age but not all of them before returning to work?

How hard is it for the husband to get use to his wife not always home?

Is it harder for the mother or the husband?

I would suggest not becoming a working mother..it is not easy and as the kids get older they become involved in activities..you will stay busy...volunteer at your child's school, or your church, etc...that will keep you busy and if you are careful, not too overwhelmed.

If I could do it over again I would prefer to be a stay at home mom.....my son spends many summer days home alone because I must work....I enjoy my job but regret how it effects the rest of my family and I would much rather volunteer to do more youth ministry type of things if I had the time...

Hubby and I are working on ways to down size, even plan to put our house on the market so I can chose to stop working a full time job in the future.

I love my kids but there is no way in hell I could be a stay at home mom.

I love my kids but there is no way in hell I could be a stay at home mom.

:killingme:killingme:killingme:killingme

Too many people look down on stay at home moms.......I give them praise....

When I worked in day care I can remember many mom's picking up their children and looking very tired, grouchy and fussing at their children. "Hurry-up I gotta go fix dinner and then run to...(where ever)" Seemed they were always in a hurry and never looked too happy about it.....
It is hard..I know..I am one...a working mom...I am greatful that when I did work in day care my children where with me all day....

Too many people look down on stay at home moms.......I give them praise....

When I worked in day care I can remember many mom's picking up their children and looking very tired, grouchy and fussing at their children. "Hurry-up I gotta go fix dinner and then run to...(where ever)" Seemed they were always in a hurry and never looked too happy about it.....
It is hard..I know..I am one...a working mom...I am greatful that when I did work in day care my children where with me all day....

I don't look down on them. I couldn't do what they do.

When I am able to stop working I want to do more volunteer work in Youth Ministry..
It will keep me very busy and it is what I love to do......The paycheck is the Joy that comes from doing what I love to do....

I want to spend more time with my grandson too...maybe keep him a couple days a week to help my daughter out...

I don't look down on them. I couldn't do what they do.

Thank you for not looking down on me. Stay at Home Mom job is very hard. I've been a Stay at Home Mom for 5 years now.

Thank you for not looking down on me. Stay at Home Mom job is very hard. I've been a Stay at Home Mom for 5 years now.

No I don't look down on SAHM's at all. I think it is great but at the same time I do not want to be home all day.

I don't look down on them. I couldn't do what they do.

I hope you did not think I meant you when I said that...it is just that if a mom really wants to be with her children, and can support their needs..I think they should not be looked down on....

I have a couple of girl friends that have 4 or more children each, they work part time jobs and are very involved in community work through their churches, or children's school....very busy ladies, and they love what they do..

I hope you did not think I meant you when I said that...it is just that if a mom really wants to be with her children, and can support their needs..I think they should not be looked down on....

I have a couple of girl friends that have 4 or more children each, they work part time jobs and are very involved in community work through their churches, or children's school....very busy ladies, and they love what they do..

I didn't :buddies:

No I don't look down on SAHM's at all. I think it is great but at the same time I do not want to be home all day.

I know you don't look down on SAHM's at all. To tell you a truth, I rather to be working than being stay at home. At least with work, you can have adult conversation, meet new people, etc.

I love my kids and all, but just like all of other SAHM's, we need BREAKS!!!!!

Thank you for not looking down on me. Stay at Home Mom job is very hard. I've been a Stay at Home Mom for 5 years now.

Ooooh puuuleeeze... you got it cushy! You don't have to listen to the bickering, teasing and fighting. :lol:

Ooooh puuuleeeze... you got it cushy! You don't have to listen to the bickering, teasing and fighting. :lol:

ooh you have a point there. I could deal with my kids if i couldn't hear them bickering :lol:

I want to be a stay-at-home mom.

I love my kids but there is no way in hell I could be a stay at home mom.

Then you shouldn't have had them!!! If you don't want to be around them that long, why would you expect anyone else to want to? That's what's wrong with our country, our priorities are backwards. I truly hope your kids never see what you posted. It's sad.

Ooooh puuuleeeze... you got it cushy! You don't have to listen to the bickering, teasing and fighting. :lol:

:lol: That's true! I'm beginning to think she has it pretty easy! JK StrawberryGal. :huggy:

Then you shouldn't have had them!!! If you don't want to be around them that long, why would you expect anyone else to want to? That's what's wrong with our country, our priorities are backwards. I truly hope your kids never see what you posted. It's sad.

You're a dumba$$ I said I would get bored staying home.

I know you don't look down on SAHM's at all. To tell you a truth, I rather to be working than being stay at home. At least with work, you can have adult conversation, meet new people, etc.

I love my kids and all, but just like all of other SAHM's, we need BREAKS!!!!!

Once your kids are in school you could maybe volunteer at the school a couple of hours each week....you can meet the teachers, school staff, etc...I think it is really good for our children when we become involved in their schools, sports, etc, and you get to meet other parents/adults...
Also, check into see if a church in your area has anything for stay at home mom's. They sometimes do and have child care while you take part in the ministry...Most the time it is during the day so you can be home with the family in the evening.
I am a part of a ministry and we plan to provide child care at the meetings in the future so more of the ladies with children can get involved....

Ooooh puuuleeeze... you got it cushy! You don't have to listen to the bickering, teasing and fighting.

ooh you have a point there. I could deal with my kids if i couldn't hear them bickering

That's true! I'm beginning to think she has it pretty easy! JK StrawberryGal. :huggy:


:lalala::lalala::lalala::lalala::lalala::lalala:





:buddies:

No I don't look down on SAHM's at all. I think it is great but at the same time I do not want to be home all day.

You're a dumba$$ I said I would get bored staying home.

ok maybe I didnt say bored but thats what I meant :lol:

Once your kids are in school you could maybe volunteer at the school a couple of hours each week....you can meet the teachers, school staff, etc...I think it is really good for our children when we become involved in their schools, sports, etc, and you get to meet other parents/adults...
Also, check into see if a church in your area has anything for stay at home mom's. They sometimes do and have child care while you take part in the ministry...Most the time it is during the day so you can be home with the family in the evening.
I am a part of a ministry and we plan to provide child care at the meetings in the future so more of the ladies with children can get involved....

I have Bachelor Science Degree. I rather to go back to work when my baby is in school full time. :lol:

Then you shouldn't have had them!!! If you don't want to be around them that long, why would you expect anyone else to want to? That's what's wrong with our country, our priorities are backwards. I truly hope your kids never see what you posted. It's sad.

I am not sure that your attitude sounds much like an attitude of a loving mother???

Then you shouldn't have had them!!! If you don't want to be around them that long, why would you expect anyone else to want to? That's what's wrong with our country, our priorities are backwards. I truly hope your kids never see what you posted. It's sad.
Nomo is a stay at home mom. She sends her two boys to make the money.

You're a dumba$$ I said I would get bored staying home.

You're the one who is of little intelligence. No where in your post did you state that you would get bored. You just stated that there was no way in hell you would do it. Go back and read what you typed. After reading your post it's probably a good thing you're not the one home raising your kids!

I have Bachelor Science Degree. I rather to go back to work when my baby is in school full time. :lol:

You can do a lot with having a Degree..you should be able to find a job you will enjoy!! Best to you when you make that move...

You can do a lot with having a Degree..you should be able to find a job you will enjoy!! Best to you when you make that move...

Thank you. :huggy:

You're the one who is of little intelligence. No where in your post did you state that you would get bored. You just stated that there was no way in hell you would do it. Go back and read what you typed. After reading your post it's probably a good thing you're not the one home raising your kids!

You're right I did not originally say I would be bored at home.

that's why I reposted correcting it :rolleyes:

I love my kids but there is no way in hell I could be a stay at home mom.

:yeahthat: Tried it. I hated it.

:yeahthat: Tried it. I hated it.

oh watch out don't say that! Duchess will tell you you're a bad bad mommy

Once your kids are in school you could maybe volunteer at the school a couple of hours each week....you can meet the teachers, school staff, etc...I think it is really good for our children when we become involved in their schools, sports, etc, and you get to meet other parents/adults...
Also, check into see if a church in your area has anything for stay at home mom's. They sometimes do and have child care while you take part in the ministry...Most the time it is during the day so you can be home with the family in the evening.
I am a part of a ministry and we plan to provide child care at the meetings in the future so more of the ladies with children can get involved....

My Mom stayed home until we were both in school full time. Then she got a job working at the schools so she'd be home when we were, including summers & school breaks. She was a teacher's asst not making a ton of money, but every bit helps and she was able to make a difference with some pretty tough kids. She enjoyed raising us but got bored when we were in school.

You're the one who is of little intelligence. No where in your post did you state that you would get bored. You just stated that there was no way in hell you would do it. Go back and read what you typed. After reading your post it's probably a good thing you're not the one home raising your kids!

You misread my post.....It is my desire to be a stay at home mom...hubby and I are in the process of selling our home so we can down size so I can stay at home and care for my Grandson in the future. I also want to volunteer more of my time to youth ministry...
I do not look down on stay at home mom's or mom's that work....I believe that you can find joy in both...I did state that I have girl friends that slpit their time by working only part time jobs so they can work, and have more family time....the best of both worlds ( so to speak )...

oh watch out don't say that! Duchess will tell you you're a bad bad mommy

I enjoy working. Even if I were to marry a sugar daddy I'd still work. I like the feeling of earning MY money. I hated asking for money. I babysat a neighbor's kid just to make some cash to buy Father's Day gifts. I didn't want to ask him for money to buy his own gift. Some of us are cut out to be a SAHM. I am just not one of those people.

You misread my post.....It is my desire to be a stay at home mom...hubby and I are in the process of selling our home so we can down size so I can stay at home and care for my Grandson in the future.

Hell! I wanna be a stay at home mom too once my kids are already grown and out of the house! :jet::yay:

My Mom stayed home until we were both in school full time. Then she got a job working at the schools so she'd be home when we were, including summers & school breaks. She was a teacher's asst not making a ton of money, but every bit helps and she was able to make a difference with some pretty tough kids. She enjoyed raising us but got bored when we were in school.

I have a couple of friends that do that...and/or drive school buses...
That is the part time jobs I was talking about....

Then you shouldn't have had them!!! If you don't want to be around them that long, why would you expect anyone else to want to? That's what's wrong with our country, our priorities are backwards. I truly hope your kids never see what you posted. It's sad.

You're the one who is of little intelligence. No where in your post did you state that you would get bored. You just stated that there was no way in hell you would do it. Go back and read what you typed. After reading your post it's probably a good thing you're not the one home raising your kids!

Wow. That's a little harsh don't you think?

Hell! I wanna be a stay at home mom too once my kids are already grown and out of the house! :jet::yay:

LOL!!!! I guess that does sound crazy!!! I want to be a stay at home grandmother...that is what I tell my friends....
I missed it when my kids were growing up...I have one at home..he is 13 so he will be there for a while longer!!!

Then you shouldn't have had them!!! If you don't want to be around them that long, why would you expect anyone else to want to? That's what's wrong with our country, our priorities are backwards. I truly hope your kids never see what you posted. It's sad.
If my parents said that to me I'd have said "I can't blame you!" because I'm sure my sister and I were more than a handful to deal with. Some people love kids and make a profession out of babysitting, being a nanny, or helping at a daycare. You ask why would anyone else want to deal with her kids? Plenty of people are willing and do just that! Are you in your 70's or something?

I have Bachelor Science Degree. I rather to go back to work when my baby is in school full time. :lol:
Sounds like a BS degree! :jet:

i have one of those too :bawl:

Wow. That's a little harsh don't you think?
:crazy:

If my parents said that to me I'd have said "I can't blame you!" because I'm sure my sister and I were more than a handful to deal with. Some people love kids and make a profession out of babysitting, being a nanny, or helping at a daycare. You ask why would anyone else want to deal with her kids? Plenty of people are willing and do just that! Are you in your 70's or something?


Sounds like a BS degree! :jet:

i have one of those too :bawl:


:crazy:

:lol:

oh watch out don't say that! Duchess will tell you you're a bad bad mommy

Grow up. :smack:

Grow up. :smack:

I bet you hate me. I'm a working mother by choice AND Pro-Choice AND not a Christian. :yikes:

Grow up. :smack:

Wow. Now you're smacking her. You're really showing us what a lovely attitude stay at home moms can have. :rolleyes:

Wow. Now you're smacking her. You're really showing us what a lovely attitude stay at home moms can have. :rolleyes:

I'd probably act like a kid too if I was stuck at home with my spawn.

Wow. Now you're smacking her. You're really showing us what a lovely attitude stay at home moms can have. :rolleyes:


Don't blame her. She's grumpy because she's watching elmo save the kids from garbage land for the 4th time today.

Wow. That's a little harsh don't you think?

Oh, and calling me a dumba$$ wasn't harsh?

[QUOTE=Radiant1;3864455]Wow. Now you're smacking her. You're really showing us what a lovely attitude stay at home moms can have. :rolleyes:[/QUOTE

I never said I was a stay-at-home mom.

Oh, and calling me a dumba$$ wasn't harsh?

Dumbass.

Oh, and calling me a dumba$$ wasn't harsh?


You're not a dumbass, that was mean of her to say that.









You're just a b!tch

Oh, and calling me a dumba$$ wasn't harsh?

You laid into her first. :shrug:



I never said I was a stay-at-home mom.

You're right you didn't. Are you a stay at home mom? If not, why the apparent chip on your shoulder?

I bet you hate me. I'm a working mother by choice AND Pro-Choice AND not a Christian. :yikes:
you're a horrible, horrible person :coffee:

Oh, and calling me a dumba$$ wasn't harsh?
Not harsh at all. In fact, it was justified.

You laid into her first. :shrug:



You're right you didn't. Are you a stay at home mom? If not, why the apparent chip on your shoulder?
Maybe mommy didn't love her enough?

you're a horrible, horrible person :coffee:

OMG. I feel just like a Beta84 but 7 years older and female. Oh wait, you're not a mother. WTF was my point? Oh yeah...you work by choice, are probably Pro-Life, and not a christian. F'ing Jew. :neener:

Dumbass.

You're not a dumbass, that was mean of her to say that.









You're just a b!tch

:high5:

You're not a dumbass, that was mean of her to say that.









You're just a b!tch

Oh, and you're so much better than her, right? :loser:

OMG. I feel just like a Beta84 but 7 years older and female. Oh wait, you're not a mother. WTF was my point? Oh yeah...you work by choice, are probably Pro-Life, and not a christian. F'ing Jew. :neener:

nuh uh I'm pro-choice :neener:

nuh uh I'm pro-choice :neener:

Crap. I meant Pro-Choice. :doh:

Oh, and you're so much better than her, right? :loser:

she's prettier too :dance:

Oh, and you're so much better than her, right? :loser:


no, I'm not. But I'm better than you and thats all that matters :love:

no, I'm not. But I'm better than you and thats all that matters :love:

I think you're the schiznit.

LOL! You know you all love it when I :elaine:

If someone wants to be a stay at home mother, all the more power to them. I love my child more than anything in this world, but I don't have the patience to be a stay at home mother because I would get horribly bored without external stimulation.

I was back to work 3 weeks after my son was born because I needed the money to support my child. For women who choose to work (out of desire or necessity) it's about the QUALITY of the time spent with our children, not the QUANTITY.

If someone wants to be a stay at home mother, all the more power to them. I love my child more than anything in this world, but I don't have the patience to be a stay at home mother because I would get horribly bored without external stimulation.

I was back to work 3 weeks after my son was born because I needed the money to support my child. For women who choose to work (out of desire or necessity) it's about the QUALITY of the time spent with our children, not the QUANTITY.

well said

it's about the QUALITY of the time spent with our children, not the QUANTITY.

Yeah, Nomo's boys put in a full 9 hour day so they don't have much time to spend with the mom in the evenings. But I know for a fact she's all about making it quality time as she spends that time watching them bead jewelry that she later sells on eBay. She even offers constructiive criticism on things such as length and color combinations.

LOL! You know you all love it when I :elaine:

you've done this before? wait, who are you again? :confused:

I'm not sure that my husband would like me staying home. Who would pay for his vacations? :confused:

I'm not sure that my husband would like me staying home. Who would pay for his vacations? :confused:
Dur...shouldn't you entertain the thought of giving the poor man a baby first before you entertain the thought of living off of him. :duh:

http://forums.somd.com/3430396-post52.html


God elected him.

Dur...shouldn't you entertain the thought of giving the poor man a baby first before you entertain the thought of living off of him. :duh:

I've never denied him a baby. He can have all the babies he wants. None of them are coming out of me though. :smile:

I've been a SAHM, I've been a working mom. Both are hard jobs and the work is never done. If you're home all day, you clean all day and at the end of the day it still looks like you've been sitting on the couch eating bon-bons all day because they mess up as quickly as you clean up. If you work all day, you come home you still have to work to keep the house picked up, cook dinner and take care of the kids and you're work is never done. Admit it ladies, we got screwed when god gave us that rib, he just needed someone to cook, clean and take care of the kids and the house for him! :killingme No seriously, both are hard jobs. If I could have it my way, I'd work part time and stay home with the kids the other part and have the best of both worlds.

I've been a SAHM, I've been a working mom. Both are hard jobs and the work is never done. If you're home all day, you clean all day and at the end of the day it still looks like you've been sitting on the couch eating bon-bons all day because they mess up as quickly as you clean up. If you work all day, you come home you still have to work to keep the house picked up, cook dinner and take care of the kids and you're work is never done. Admit it ladies, we got screwed when god gave us that rib, he just needed someone to cook, clean and take care of the kids and the house for him! :killingme No seriously, both are hard jobs. If I could have it my way, I'd work part time and stay home with the kids the other part and have the best of both worlds.

AMEN!!!! Well said!!!! :clap: :clap: :clap: :buddies:

I am lucky in that I do work part-time. I get lost of time with my kid, but I also get adult interaction and some money. I must say though that in comparison, my days at home are the most tiring. Entertaining children is hard work!

I've been a SAHM, I've been a working mom. Both are hard jobs and the work is never done. If you're home all day, you clean all day and at the end of the day it still looks like you've been sitting on the couch eating bon-bons all day because they mess up as quickly as you clean up. If you work all day, you come home you still have to work to keep the house picked up, cook dinner and take care of the kids and you're work is never done. Admit it ladies, we got screwed when god gave us that rib, he just needed someone to cook, clean and take care of the kids and the house for him! :killingme No seriously, both are hard jobs. If I could have it my way, I'd work part time and stay home with the kids the other part and have the best of both worlds.

Then there's the other option, which is what I do, working a full-time job out of my home. I was a SAHM. Now I'm a WAHM. I have the pleasure of intellectual stimulation and $ from work while still being at home with my kids. :yay:

Then you shouldn't have had them!!! If you don't want to be around them that long, why would you expect anyone else to want to? That's what's wrong with our country, our priorities are backwards. I truly hope your kids never see what you posted. It's sad.

Really? Are you serious? I'm a SAHM, and my children have seen me at my worst because of the stress that comes along with being a SAHM. IMO, kids of working mothers probably see alot more smiling out of their moms because they haven't been with them all day.
Just because you're not a SAHM, doesn't mean you love you children any less.

:poke:

You're the one who is of little intelligence. No where in your post did you state that you would get bored. You just stated that there was no way in hell you would do it. Go back and read what you typed. After reading your post it's probably a good thing you're not the one home raising your kids!


get over yourself! geez! i do believe there was a bit of humor in the words she said. Any mother that has had very busy active children can say things like that with a giggle in their voice. It does not in anyway mean they do not love them. but it helps to release some of the tensions of mother hood if you can laugh about harmless things. or make harmless statements.

Then there's the other option, which is what I do, working a full-time job out of my home. I was a SAHM. Now I'm a WAHM. I have the pleasure of intellectual stimulation and $ from work while still being at home with my kids. :yay:

Medical transcription, right? I've been trying to get through the gruelling online training course forever so I can work from home and bring in some money. :doh:

I agree with you - wahm seems to be the best of both worlds.

I had a longer than usual maternity leave because my pregnancy was high risk, and caused several unexpected complications after my son's birth, so I had to take extra time to stay at home and rest and be with him. I loved our time together, but about two weeks into it and I was begging people to get me out of the damn house. I give a lot of stay at home mom's respect, when they're staying home for to be with their kids, but I couldn't do it.

That being said... Women who stay home simply because they don't want to work and use their kids as an excuse to do so drive me nuts.When nothing gets done around the house and the kids get either ignored or left with friends or family members so that the mom can sit at her pc or watch TV all day, that just irks me. Even though I hate being a stay at home mom myself, when I am home for whatever reason, unless I'm risking making the baby sick, he's the center of my attention, and I try to get as much done around the house as possible.

Wow, some seriously heated discussions with this thread but managed to get off point from the topic...Some people tend to jump the gun and are spring loaded to overreact... Be proud of the decisions you make to raise your children "the best way" you know how and continue in striving to better them further... As a mother of a 6 yro and being active duty AF along with my husband who is also active duty AF, there are times when I wished I could have stayed home and raised my daughter, home school her, etc... there are so many events to do with children during the day (when I am at work) that I wish I could take her to all of them, but we have to work to support our family. In addition, going to school and working on my degree, to be able to support my daughter better, giving her the opportunities I never had...Like paying for college, etc. If I didn't have to worry about money, I'd be home in a heartbeat, but also an active member of the community and she'd be there with me, helping out too... most people think stay at home mom, ugh...I'd be bored, I'd go crazy, but no matter what you do, it is what you make of it. I had a difficult time returning back to work after my daughter was born...and even for the first year...worrying if I was going to be deployed and miss everything. I got to see most of her milestones, except her first steps...I was retraining at tech. school when that happened....but my husband and I made the best of it by sending me videos of her walking...sad but happy.

When should mothers that have stayed home to raise their kids return to work?

Is it fair to get some kids to school age but not all of them before returning to work?

How hard is it for the husband to get use to his wife not always home?

Is it harder for the mother or the husband?

I'm a little late but I still want to respond because raising children is the most important job you will have as a mom or a dad. My children are 26 and 23. I worked part-time while they were growing up. It was good to work part-time because I was able to maintain and keep current with my professional skills. Yet, if I had it to do again, I would have stayed at home with them until each of them started school. Then, I would have worked my hours around their school day... or lets say this better, my husband and I would have worked our hours around their school day. He's always been in the same boat helping raise our children. We both regret allowing our children to stay home by themselves in middle school and high school. The crap that is on TV, the internet, friends that sneaked over, etc. It was not a good idea at all.

Listen, our children grow up at the speed of light. We do not have second chances in raising them and teaching them life's important lessons. We do not have second chances on lost time, either. Children are SO wonderful. Even now, our family is very close. Make your decision based on what you and your husband want as the best for your children. You both will make sacrifices but they never really feel like sacrifices. You'll make a good decision from the sound of your questions.