So a friend of mine got the it's not you it's me speech the other day (well I guess technically I can't call it a speech since she sent it to him as a text message :banghead:) and when I asked him what happened he said "There's nothing I can do it about it she just has issues". What I want to know is.......has any woman actually said this to a guy and been serious? I have always heard of women using that to blow guys off without hurting their feelings.

Your poll should be multiple choice. :lol:

So a friend of mine got the it's not you it's me speech the other day (well I guess technically I can't call it a speech since she sent it to him as a text message :banghead:) and when I asked him what happened he said "There's nothing I can do it about it she just has issues". What I want to know is.......has any woman actually said this to a guy and been serious? I have always heard of women using that to blow guys off without hurting their feelings.

:huggy: for poor Miss Kitty

Your poll should be multiple choice. :lol:

I guess I could have put a choice for "I have never used it" but I'm just interested in the people that have actually said that.

:huggy: for poor Miss Kitty

:nono: You gotta keep up with the times :huggy:

Dear Mojo.

Its you, Not me.


Good bye. :coffee:

:nono: You gotta keep up with the times :huggy:

I don't read The Tard Times :coffee:

Dear Mojo.

Its you, Not me.


Good bye. :coffee:

im sorry its really Cornelious that is making me break things off

:huggy:

Dear Mojo.

Its you, Not me.


Good bye. :coffee:

:mad: Last week you said it was you.

I don't read The Tard Times :coffee:

Go knock, I'll let you in :huggy:

Since I'm a wonderful, kind, generous person and an excellant lover, when I've heard that, I know it's true. :yay:

So a friend of mine got the it's not you it's me speech the other day (well I guess technically I can't call it a speech since she sent it to him as a text message :banghead:) and when I asked him what happened he said "There's nothing I can do it about it she just has issues". What I want to know is.......has any woman actually said this to a guy and been serious? I have always heard of women using that to blow guys off without hurting their feelings.
It means "You've got a small package and/or you don't know how to use it, so I am dumping you because I have this problem where I want a man that's better in the sack."

The poll isn't multiple choice. :mad:


I've used it both ways.

It can be true, sometimes a guy is absolutely wonderful but the chick just doesnt want to be with them. They just arent what she wants.

Never used it, never heard it. They just told me to get lost....to hell with my feelings :lol:

The poll isn't multiple choice. :mad:


I've used it both ways.

Crap, I didn't think about that :doh:

It can be true, sometimes a guy is absolutely wonderful but the chick just doesnt want to be with them. They just arent what she wants.

Well then it would be him, not you

Crap, I didn't think about that :doh:



Well then it would be him, not you
well yeh in a way. more "Theres nothing wrong with you, i just dont want you" but it doesnt mean theres anything wrong with the guy :shrug:

Well, I guess I know what we are talking about tonight :ohwell:

I hate it when I get text messages from KVJ that say.


We need to talk.

Well, I guess I know what we are talking about tonight :ohwell:

I hate it when I get text messages from KVJ that say.


We need to talk.
you have enough defects for me to love for a lifetime :love: you are perfect for me! :love:

you have enough defects for me to love for a lifetime :love: you are perfect for me! :love:
:confused: not sure exactly how I feel about this statement :confused:

:killingme

:confused: not sure exactly how I feel about this statement :confused:

:killingme
it means you may not be perfect, but you are perfect for me :love: c'mon im trying to be lovey!!!!! :love:

:confused: not sure exactly how I feel about this statement :confused:

:killingme

Just ask her she will tell you what to think !!!:killingme

it means you may not be perfect, but you are perfect for me :love: c'mon im trying to be lovey!!!!! :love:
The :fixed: comment in the other thread debunks anything lovey in here.


We need to talk. :coffee:











:killingme

The :fixed: comment in the other thread debunks anything lovey in here.


We need to talk. :coffee:

:killingme

your talks take too long, lets finish this now.......

youre right, i am wrong, you are perfect, i big stupid, you are tall, i am small, you make better food, i make edible food, now ill go wait at home to receive my punishment :ohwell:

The :fixed: comment in the other thread debunks anything lovey in here.

what, you don't like lotion?

your talks take too long, lets finish this now.......

youre right, i am wrong, you are perfect, i big stupid, you are tall, i am small, you make better food, i make edible food, now ill go wait at home to receive my punishment :ohwell:
:killingme:killingme:killingme:killingme

:love::love::love::love::love:

(are you really going home, cause Id sooooo leave work this early) lol.

what, you don't like lotion?
:killingmeTHE LOTION WASNT FOR ME! :killingme

:killingmeTHE LOTION WASNT FOR ME! :killingme

i think there's a thread in chit chat you need to look at!



Oh and my contribution to this thread is the only time I ever got that line was in the "I'm having some mental issues right now and can't be in a relationship but maybe we can get back together later." I think the mental issues part was true but we definitely never got back together :lmao:

:killingme

:love:

(are you really going home, cause Id sooooo leave work this early) lol.

no :frown: maybe leave at 130

:killingmeTHE LOTION WASNT FOR ME! :killingme

but the lotion was for you? :confused: what did u think it was for????

Get out of this thread you #### tards, you are ruining it :tantrum

Get out of this thread you #### tards, you are ruining it :tantrum
Its a Poll not a discusion... You can get your results by looking at the top of the page..:buddies:


and :SLAM:

Its a Poll not a discusion... You can get your results by looking at the top of the page..:buddies:


and :SLAM:

:lol:

I normally just tell the person like it is. No real reason to sugar coat something.

I normally just tell the person like it is. No real reason to sugar coat something.

you're brutal though. alot of chicks seem to like having an out that is easy because they'd feel bad otherwise. oh did i mention that one time it was used on me, i got dumped by TEXT MESSAGE?!? That one was a real winner! :killingme

you're brutal though. alot of chicks seem to like having an out that is easy because they'd feel bad otherwise. oh did i mention that one time it was used on me, i got dumped by TEXT MESSAGE?!? That one was a real winner! :killingme


It's easier to just be brutally honest than to be wussified about the situation. This way there is no sending of mixed signals. But that is just me.

It's easier to just be brutally honest than to be wussified about the situation. This way there is no sending of mixed signals. But that is just me.

you mean how the "it's not you, it's me" speech can have a guy attempting to get back with the chick for days, weeks, or months causing a bunch of stupid and unnecessary drama because the woman can't just tell it like it is? :lol:

you mean how the "it's not you, it's me" speech can have a guy attempting to get back with the chick for days, weeks, or months causing a bunch of stupid and unnecessary drama because the woman can't just tell it like it is? :lol:

Depends on the guy and yes that statement can cause a bunch of :drama: if the guy doesn't get it :lmao:

I've used it both ways... but basically what "It's not you, it's me..." really means is "I've got some serious trust issues and I don't think I can get over that enough to trust you because you've not given me a compelling enough reason to try."

i think there's a thread in chit chat you need to look at!



Oh and my contribution to this thread is the only time I ever got that line was in the "I'm having some mental issues right now and can't be in a relationship but maybe we can get back together later." I think the mental issues part was true but we definitely never got back together :lmao:

Well, that was definitely her, not you. Well, unless she was trying to blame you for her mental issues, then it WAS you. :killingme

I've never used that line. I'm not one for sugar coating things. If the truth hurts, oh well. I know, aren't I just a ray of sunshine! :blushing: :lol:

So a friend of mine got the it's not you it's me speech the other day (well I guess technically I can't call it a speech since she sent it to him as a text message :banghead:) and when I asked him what happened he said "There's nothing I can do it about it she just has issues". What I want to know is.......has any woman actually said this to a guy and been serious? I have always heard of women using that to blow guys off without hurting their feelings.

Well, you guys have "I'm just not that into you"...so we have, "It's not you, its me."

What's the problem?

I told that you that story in confidence, mojo. :frown:

I told that you that story in confidence, mojo. :frown:
atleast Warnuts let u down easy :shrug:

Well, that was definitely her, not you. Well, unless she was trying to blame you for her mental issues, then it WAS you. :killingme
nope, she blamed an ex and it was pretty legit i think cuz he was really screwin w/ her head in some bad ways!

I told that you that story in confidence, mojo. :frown:
you were dating a chick? :hot:

Well, you guys have "I'm just not that into you"...so we have, "It's not you, its me."

What's the problem?
"I'm just not that into you" = You're ok, but I don't want to continue pursuing this. Bye!
"It's not you, it's me" = I'm having some issues and they have nothing to do with you. A guy could easily think that these issues are temporary, since obviously she plans on dating SOMEONE at some point in the future. So why not that next someone be him, once she gets her crap together?

HUGE difference.

and the greatest line ever.

I think we should take a break and see other people..

Meaning, Ive been banging this other guy for the past 2 months and I like him more then you now.. SEE YA!

"I'm just not that into you" = You're ok, but I don't want to continue pursuing this. Bye!
"It's not you, it's me" = I'm having some issues and they have nothing to do with you. A guy could easily think that these issues are temporary, since obviously she plans on dating SOMEONE at some point in the future. So why not that next someone be him, once she gets her crap together?

HUGE difference.
Women, by nature, are not usually mean to guys... which is why we're probably so catty with eachother.

"It's not you, it's me..." is an easier way for us to say "I just don't think this is gonna work out despite you being a pretty ok guy." It's the equivelent of saying "The chemistry's just not there." But if a chick whips that at you, you look at us like we've got 3 heads.

Never ever when a girl says "It's not you, it's me..." is she saying, "Let me work on some issues and we'll hook up later." If a chick ever lets you off with that condition, what she's really saying is "You're a catch... but you're not my catch... so I'm releasing you but want to keep this as friendly as possible because I genuinely respect you." NEVER does that mean "Yeah, we'll get back together at a later time."

nope, she blamed an ex and it was pretty legit i think cuz he was really screwin w/ her head in some bad ways!


you were dating a chick? :hot:


"I'm just not that into you" = You're ok, but I don't want to continue pursuing this. Bye!
"It's not you, it's me" = I'm having some issues and they have nothing to do with you. A guy could easily think that these issues are temporary, since obviously she plans on dating SOMEONE at some point in the future. So why not that next someone be him, once she gets her crap together?

HUGE difference.
when i say "its not you, its me" kinda means the same thing as "im just not that into you" to me. like i said "its not you" means u could be a great guy, "its me" means "im not into you, not your fault, i just dont want you"

If a chick ever lets you off with that condition, what she's really saying is "You're a catch... but you're not my catch... so I'm releasing you but want to keep this as friendly as possible because I genuinely respect you." NEVER does that mean "Yeah, we'll get back together at a later time."

:jameo: crap! we agree on something! :jameo:

See, if everybody was just honest and told it like it is, we wouldn't have all this confusion and wasting of each other's time.

Women, by nature, are not usually mean to guys... which is why we're probably so catty with eachother.

"It's not you, it's me..." is an easier way for us to say "I just don't think this is gonna work out despite you being a pretty ok guy." It's the equivelent of saying "The chemistry's just not there." But if a chick whips that at you, you look at us like we've got 3 heads.

Never ever when a girl says "It's not you, it's me..." is she saying, "Let me work on some issues and we'll hook up later." If a chick ever lets you off with that condition, what she's really saying is "You're a catch... but you're not my catch... so I'm releasing you but want to keep this as friendly as possible because I genuinely respect you." NEVER does that mean "Yeah, we'll get back together at a later time."

I've seen women actually mean she's got issues to work out. I've seen hookups happen later. It's not often, but it happens. It doesn't mean the same thing for all of you cuz you're all insane in your own special ways :huggy:

I've seen women actually mean she's got issues to work out. I've seen hookups happen later. It's not often, but it happens. It doesn't mean the same thing for all of you cuz you're all insane in your own special ways :huggy:
:clap:

:clap:
:smack:

I've seen women actually mean she's got issues to work out. I've seen hookups happen later. It's not often, but it happens. It doesn't mean the same thing for all of you cuz you're all insane in your own special ways :huggy:
:buttkick: Those are EXCEPTIONS TO THE RULE!!! Have you not seen "He's Just Not That Into You"?!?!?!?

If girls listened to all the EXCEPTIONS to the rule, then they'd all be walking around head in the clouds and expecting the happy ending when in reality the happy ending is more of a fluke than anything.

Sure... I know a couple who broke up due to distance, and within 2 weeks the guy came flying back to where the girl was, told her he couldn't live without her, and she moved back to Oklahoma with him while he finished school. They're still together 30 years later.

Sure... I know a couple where the girl broke it off with him because he wouldn't make a commitment, and 3 months later after feeling so depressed she wanted to die and drinking herself in to nightly stupors, he walked in to "her" bar one night. She fled in fear and shame, and then decided that enough was enough, so feeling 10 feet tall and bullet proof she went back and got in his face to find out why he didn't even have the common decency to care when she'd tried so hard to give him everything he ever wanted and he caved and said he was scared, and now they're engaged, planning a wedding.

Sure... I know a couple that started messing around and the guy was way more in to it than the girl was, because the girl knew far too much about the guy to trust his actions... but the guy continued to fight for her and wear her defenses down until she finally realized that he just might be the one for her.

EXCEPTIONS to the rules... not the rule. It's awesome for people to have those amazing stories to tell... but EXCEPTIONS to the rule is what they are.

:jameo: crap! we agree on something! :jameo:
:huggy: It happens.

I've seen women actually mean she's got issues to work out. I've seen hookups happen later. It's not often, but it happens. It doesn't mean the same thing for all of you cuz you're all insane in your own special ways :huggy:

Yah, well, being normal is boring. :dance:

I was doing the "Stanky Leg" on the dancefloor at Dew Drop and the next day my girlfriend sent me a text message saying that "it wasn't me it was her" :ohwell:

I was doing the "Stanky Leg" on the dancefloor at Dew Drop and the next day my girlfriend sent me a text message saying that "it wasn't me it was her" :ohwell:

That is NOT what that text said. It said, "It wasn't you, it was the floor". :rolleyes:

That is NOT what that text said. It said, "It wasn't you, it was the floor". :rolleyes:

:lmao: Same thing we said to Nubbz :lol:

:lmao: Same thing we said to Nubbz :lol:

:killingme

The "its not you, its me" is code for "Ive been screwing your friend behind your back and want to start dating him now"

At least thats what happened to me

I'm not reading through all this. As the former "Break-up Queen USA" I'll share my insight, :lol:.... It's the biggest load of crap that comes out of anyone's mouth. While we all may partly be aware of our own issues not one of us is either fully aware or disturbed enough by them to change them. That's factual information; if your flaws were that bad to "you" then you would change. People change all the time when they're ready and/or want to. People who don't aren't ready to accept that their issues are all that bad. The line "it's not you, it's me" really means "there's something about you that doesn't fit right with me". The other person could be "perfect" in the eyes of the world but to the dumper there is a flaw in that person that just doesn't mesh with their plans. It doesn't mean that there's something worng with the dumpee in general, just to the dumper. As Vrai always says, there's a butt for every seat. Two people don't have to be perfect or even normal to be together but they have to mesh the right way together.

:buttkick: Those are EXCEPTIONS TO THE RULE!!! Have you not seen "He's Just Not That Into You"?!?!?!?

If girls listened to all the EXCEPTIONS to the rule, then they'd all be walking around head in the clouds and expecting the happy ending when in reality the happy ending is more of a fluke than anything.

Sure... I know a couple who broke up due to distance, and within 2 weeks the guy came flying back to where the girl was, told her he couldn't live without her, and she moved back to Oklahoma with him while he finished school. They're still together 30 years later.

Sure... I know a couple where the girl broke it off with him because he wouldn't make a commitment, and 3 months later after feeling so depressed she wanted to die and drinking herself in to nightly stupors, he walked in to "her" bar one night. She fled in fear and shame, and then decided that enough was enough, so feeling 10 feet tall and bullet proof she went back and got in his face to find out why he didn't even have the common decency to care when she'd tried so hard to give him everything he ever wanted and he caved and said he was scared, and now they're engaged, planning a wedding.

Sure... I know a couple that started messing around and the guy was way more in to it than the girl was, because the girl knew far too much about the guy to trust his actions... but the guy continued to fight for her and wear her defenses down until she finally realized that he just might be the one for her.

EXCEPTIONS to the rules... not the rule. It's awesome for people to have those amazing stories to tell... but EXCEPTIONS to the rule is what they are.


:lmao: :love:

:lmao: :love:
:love: You two ruined me for anything less than a fairy tale ending :huggy:

I'd do it the nice way and cross stitch it on a pillow, rather than texting it.

I'd do it the nice way and cross stitch it on a pillow, rather than texting it.

Now THAT's an idea. At least there is some thought behind it. With every stitch, you could say to yourself, "I'm into him; I'm not into him. I'm into him; I'm not into him." Let the answer fall where it may. :lol:

Thank God, I am gay........:diva:

Thank God, I am gay........:diva:

I needed new siggy... thanks :yahoo:

Thank God, I am gay........:diva:

:shocking:

You FINALLY admitted it. Took ya long enough.


:lmao:

:lol:

Both.

Both.

:bawl:

:bawl:

It was always you. :twitch:

It was always you. :twitch:

Guess so...........another complex,....:ohwell:

I'd do it the nice way and cross stitch it on a pillow, rather than texting it.

cuz you are the nicest person on the forums, duh :huggy:

this guy i used to date told me a previouse girl frined broke up with him over a txt mgs, i did the same thng the ex did and didnt realize it until later,,,then i told him it was me not you,,but clearly it was him, bcuz of his penis was way tooo small for me,,,the end

this guy i used to date told me a previouse girl frined broke up with him over a txt mgs, i did the same thng the ex did and didnt realize it until later,,,then i told him it was me not you,,but clearly it was him, bcuz of his penis was way tooo small for me,,,the end

ok.

So a friend of mine got the it's not you it's me speech the other day (well I guess technically I can't call it a speech since she sent it to him as a text message :banghead:) and when I asked him what happened he said "There's nothing I can do it about it she just has issues". What I want to know is.......has any woman actually said this to a guy and been serious? I have always heard of women using that to blow guys off without hurting their feelings.

Have used the “it’s not you it’s me” and meant it. Met a real nice guy right after my divorce but I was not ready and told him so. Wish I’d met him now because things are different.

So maybe it’s not the “it’s not you it’s me” line that is the important part of the discussion but the explanation that comes after that phrase that is important. For example, if she’s real tied up at work right now or has family issues to take care of then maybe she is not blowing him off. But if she really can’t come up with a reason or says something that hints toward “your just not my type” then maybe she is blowing him off.