I need some advice from parents who have been there when it comes to having adult children still at home. They hardly make enough money to pay their bills........

I need some advice from parents who have been there when it comes to having adult children still at home. They hardly make enough money to pay their bills........

I am a firm believer they should be required to pay a set amount each month... even if they only make minimum wage.

They are fortunate to have a safe, warm, dry, rodent/roach free, non-drug infested environment in which to shower and sleep. A parent does not "owe" an adult child this accomodation.

You're being very vague. Why do you want to charge your kid rent? Do they not keep up after themselves? Are they nearing 30 and not done a damn thing with their life? Irresponsible, not attending school?

If your adult kids were not living at home with you, they'd have to live somewhere, and have to pay something to somebody.

If they are living with you, they should pay for it.

You're being very vague. Why do you want to charge your kid rent? Do they not keep up after themselves? Are they nearing 30 and not done a damn thing with their life? Irresponsible, not attending school?

If your adult kids were not living at home with you, they'd have to live somewhere, and have to pay something to somebody.

If they are living with you, they should pay for it.:yeahthat:

A friend of mine had to start paying a small amount of rent after we graduated from high school. She lived with her parents until she bought her own place, at which time her parents gave her the keys to the fat bank account they'd been saving her "rent" money in. I always wished my parents had made me pay fake rent. :lol:

You're being very vague. Why do you want to charge your kid rent? Do they not keep up after themselves? Are they nearing 30 and not done a damn thing with their life? Irresponsible, not attending school?

They help out sometimes. I want to be fair, teach them responsibility but I also want them to be able to save money so they can move out. What do you think is a fair amount?

I need some advice from parents who have been there when it comes to having adult children still at home. They hardly make enough money to pay their bills........

1. Depends on what you want. Want them to stay or go? Act accordingly.

2. Further, what's going on? Are you helping them as they get a degree or are otherwise using your help in a productive manner? Or are they just taking the path of least resistance? Refer back to point one.

A friend of mine had to start paying a small amount of rent after we graduated from high school. She lived with her parents until she bought her own place, at which time her parents gave her the keys to the fat bank account they'd been saving her "rent" money in. I always wished my parents had made me pay fake rent. :lol:

OMG... Chasey is so gonna charge her children... put it in a bank account then when they finally move out... she'll spend it on a cruise! :lol:

If money is very tight, maybe you could work out a chore system? The child could exchange taking care of the house (not just cleaning up after herself/himself) to make up for the lack of rent.

OMG... Chasey is so gonna charge her children... put it in a bank account then when they finally move out... she'll spend it on a cruise! :lol:

:lol: Now that I have a child of my own, that seems like a much better plan! :yay: :lol:

A friend of mine had to start paying a small amount of rent after we graduated from high school. She lived with her parents until she bought her own place, at which time her parents gave her the keys to the fat bank account they'd been saving her "rent" money in. I always wished my parents had made me pay fake rent. :lol:
excellent idea
They help out sometimes. I want to be fair, teach them responsibility but I also want them to be able to save money so they can move out. What do you think is a fair amount?

I say you go with K_Jo's suggestion.

and if they're barely able to pay their bills, it's time they learn what life is like in the real world. If we can't pay our bills, it's bye-bye cell phone with a billion minutes, bye-bye mustang for a energy efficient car with good insurance premiums, bye-bye hanging out and going fun places every weekend with your friends. Now I'm not saying your kids have/do all this, but you get the point. They have to change their lifestyle to accommodate their income.

that seems like a much better plan! :yay: :lol:

:yeahthat:

1. Depends on what you want. Want them to stay or go? Act accordingly.

2. Further, what's going on? Are you helping them as they get a degree or are otherwise using your help in a productive manner? Or are they just taking the path of least resistance? Refer back to point one.

I want them to be able to take care of themselves, live on their own. Appartments are so expensive in this area. They are not going to school. One of them has a child.

Baby birds do not learn to fly until you kick them out of the nest.

I want them to be able to take care of themselves, live on their own. Appartments are so expensive in this area. They are not going to school. One of them has a child.

Do you take care of the child too?

I want them to be able to take care of themselves, live on their own. Appartments are so expensive in this area. They are not going to school. One of them has a child.


How many "adult children" are we talking about here?

I want them to be able to take care of themselves, live on their own.

Then kick 'em out.

I want them to be able to take care of themselves, live on their own. Appartments are so expensive in this area. They are not going to school. One of them has a child.

I was just going to ask this question!

Once we all turned 18 we had to pay $50 a week rent until we moved out. We were also in charge of our insurance, gas etc... That seemed fair to me at the time.

Right before I moved from Ca to Md my children and I stayed w/ my parents for almost 3 months while our townhouse was being finnished. I paid the electric bill every month (which ran about $400) and bought groceries every 2 weeks (about $300)

Then kick 'em out.

I take care of the child when her mom works. I have 2 adult children at home.

I have an adult child living at home. I don't sweat the small stuff. Someday she'll be taking care of me. :shrug:

I take care of the child when her mom works. I have 2 adult children at home.

Does she pay you for your day care services?

Does she pay you for your day care services?

No. She pays for daycare during the day. I take care of her evenings and weekends.

They hardly make enough money to pay their bills........

Why?

my parents had me pay $100 dollars a month just to teach me some responsiblity...i hated it at the time but it did teach me responsibility

No. She pays for daycare during the day. I take care of her evenings and weekends.

Will you be my mother :flowers:

Why?

Do you think you could completly support yourself on 9 or 10 $ an hr. I told my son that he needed to get a part time job too.

Do you think you could completly support yourself on 9 or 10 $ an hr. I told my son that he needed to get a part time job too.

So I take it they're in school as well?

No. She pays for daycare during the day. I take care of her evenings and weekends.

Is she out playing with her friends at those times?

Do you think you could completly support yourself on 9 or 10 $ an hr. I told my son that he needed to get a part time job too.

Do what you feel is right. You'll hear lots of opinions on here, mostly against it. Personally I don't feel it's worth getting upset over. After all, they are your family. Enjoy your time w/them and your grandchildren. :cheers:

Do you think you could completly support yourself on 9 or 10 $ an hr. I told my son that he needed to get a part time job too.

Make $9, take home $7, that's take home about $1200 from job #1. Rent of $700 or so, $100 for gas, older paid off car, $100 for insurance, $200 for food, $100 left over for cloths, cell phone, etc.

Job #2, figure Saturdays plus 2 hours a day during the week, so, that's another 72 hours a week, take home $7 or so, that's another $500.

It can be done.

Do what you feel is right. You'll hear lots of opinions on here, mostly against it. Personally I don't feel it's worth getting upset over. After all, they are your family. Enjoy your time w/them and your grandchildren. :cheers:

Thanks!
My son is not going to school. He needs to get a part time job with the one that he already has.

Thanks!
My son is not going to school. He needs to get a part time job with the one that he already has.

My main problem is that my husband,their stepfather, thinks they should pay.

Do you think you could completly support yourself on 9 or 10 $ an hr. I told my son that he needed to get a part time job too.



The question was why does your child only earn $10 an hour?

... and no I couldn't support myself on that. That's why I developed skill to increase my value to an employer. The best career move I ever made was to become an Electronics Technician in the U.S.Navy. I think there is a recruiter in the area.

I think there is a recruiter in the area.

Now, there's an idea!

With no school..9 or 10 is all you can expect. My mother would gladly let me live at home rent free while in college..but I didn't need to. Senior year I moved out on my own and supported myself. I didnt turn my heat on in the winter and I went to the food auction and didnt eat beef unless i went to moms for dinner..it can be done. Now that I am out I have a degree which is the key to making more than 10$ and hour. I have friends that never did anything with themselves and have min wage jobs still live at home etc..and they always will until they decide to go to school, get a certificate, or join the military. paying a small sum for rent does nothing because in the real world rent is not 100 a month. you wanna help? help them fill out a FAFSA.

If money is very tight, maybe you could work out a chore system? The child could exchange taking care of the house (not just cleaning up after herself/himself) to make up for the lack of rent.

My son gives money towards the rent. I dont have to completely argue about it because he knows that I have to take care of a baby and work. My baby requires special care. When my son decided that he wanted to get his GED and be an adult, then I told him he had to work and pay rent. If you dont teach them this when they are young, then they will not be able to make it on their own. I still clean his room though. I know its stupid, I just like a clean house and I wash his clothes and cook so this is included in the rent.

Now, there's an idea!I see future Obamamites in the making. Let the govt. take care of them since they failed to plan for themselves.

I see future Obamamites in the making. Let the govt. take care of them since they failed to plan for themselves.

Hey, MJ! I think you were right! :jet:

A friend of mine had to start paying a small amount of rent after we graduated from high school. She lived with her parents until she bought her own place, at which time her parents gave her the keys to the fat bank account they'd been saving her "rent" money in. I always wished my parents had made me pay fake rent. :lol:

My mom did pretty much the exact same thing except she told me that she was going to be saving the money. I was working full time, going to school part time, and mom said "Live under my roof and you pay $200 a month rent." It was a great deal. I didn't have to pay utilities, food, or anything like that. Between the monthly "rent" and what else I was able to save up, I was able to put a nice down payment on my house.

I see future Obamamites in the making. Let the govt. take care of them since they failed to plan for themselves.

Serving in the military is the government 'taking care' of them?

I would like to say something to all of the people that say things about the government taking care of people. Yes, it is wrong for people to take advantage of the system, but I feel that there are certain times that people do need a litttle help. Things happen and sometimes you can not control them. I am speaking of losing a job or losing a spouse. So, instead of always saying things about people having the government take care of them, you need to think of REAL situations, and realize that the same thing could happen to you. Noone wants to get help from the state forever, especially if they want to make something of themselves. I needed help from the state not too long ago, but I made sure that I got a degree and went back to work. I know that I will hear a bunch of trash talk back, but thats how I feel, being a taxpayer too.

I would like to say something to all of the peole that say things about the government taking care of people. Yes, it is wron for people to take advantage of the system, but I feel that there are certain times that people do need a litttle help. Things happen and sometimes you can not control them. I am speaking of losing a job or losing a spouse. So, instead of always saying things about people having the government take care of them, you need to think of REAL situations, and realize that the same thing could happen to you.

A helping hand rather than a hand out.

my parents had me pay $100 dollars a month just to teach me some responsiblity...i hated it at the time but it did teach me responsibility

I wasn't approached with the subject of paying "rent" until I was 18 and out of high school. I lived at home until I was 26.....27.

When I was 18, Dad talked to me about 'putting money on the table.' It was $50 or $100/month; something like that.

At the same time, my younger Brother was taking classes at CCCC and M&D were paying for it, so I didn't do that for very long. Dad says, "I'm not going to take from one to give to another." "If you want something special for dinner; things like that; then buy it. I paid my own car insurance, bought my own gas; things like that. I bought my first and only brand new car when I was 22 and living at home. In '96, after I paid off the new car, I bought a house. I didn't say anyting to M&D about that (another story for another time/place).

(AND TO THIS DAY), even though both my parents are retired, they STILL help my Brother and his family of SIX.....AND me if/when I do something stupid with what little I make. (Yeah, yeah........I know......'don't do anything stupid with your money.....")

A helping hand rather than a hand out.

I learned a lot about this forum, when you are down and out. Its people like you Mr strung out that I normally do not respond to so I dont even know why I am. But on the other hand, I have found that there are really good people that I would do anything for.:pete:

If money is very tight, maybe you could work out a chore system? The child could exchange taking care of the house (not just cleaning up after herself/himself) to make up for the lack of rent.

Someone I know had that deal. Then she re-nigged on her deal and now wants them to pay rent. She didn't realize the economy would be like this so long so she needs more money. The economy affects her kids too but I guess she's not thinking of them.

The economy affects her kids too but I guess she's not thinking of them.

She's not thinking of them by letting them live with her?

I learned a lot about this forum, when you are down and out. Its people like you Mr strung out that I normally do not respond to so I dont even know why I am. But on the other hand, I have found that there are really good people that I would do anything for.:pete:

What are you getting pissy about? I am all for a helping hand.

Someone I know had that deal. Then she re-nigged on her deal and now wants them to pay rent. She didn't realize the economy would be like this so long so she needs more money. The economy affects her kids too but I guess she's not thinking of them.

Get a grip and go pay your mother something for rent you moocher.

Get a grip and go pay your mother something for rent you moocher.
:frown: Does that mean I am moocher??

I need some advice from parents who have been there when it comes to having adult children still at home. They hardly make enough money to pay their bills........
:shrug: I pay rent. I pay rent even when my parents have told me to not pay rent and to save my money. It's a pride thing.

:frown: Does that mean I am moocher??
If one or more of your parents is asking for rent and you don't feel you should pay it... then that would be mooching in my book...:shrug:

If one or more of your parents is asking for rent and you don't feel you should pay it... then that would be mooching in my book...:shrug:
They don't ask. But it I do help try to buy stuff when I can. They don't pay my bills, I just can't afford to pay rent

Someone I know had that deal. Then she re-nigged on her deal and now wants them to pay rent. She didn't realize the economy would be like this so long so she needs more money. The economy affects her kids too but I guess she's not thinking of them.

Umm...I don't think you're supposed to spell it like that. :shocking: :killingme

What are you getting pissy about? I am all for a helping hand.

Gee, Larry, you're causing problems all over the board today..:lol:

Gee, Larry, you're causing problems all over the board today..:lol:

Mr. Congeniality.

The question was why does your child only earn $10 an hour?

... and no I couldn't support myself on that. That's why I developed skill to increase my value to an employer. The best career move I ever made was to become an Electronics Technician in the U.S.Navy. I think there is a recruiter in the area.

9 or 10 and hour is a wonderful amount if you work off that base and in the park. You forget, there are jobs out there that are small businesses and can't afford to pay what the base pays (at least for the prime job) work at the commisary or a food place and you get paid less than 9 or 10 even on the base. and before the base grew, there was no need to make a lot. But the prices around here grew with the base but the outside salaries did not.


so good for them if they make 9 or 10 and hour !!!!

Any parents around here want to pay my rent? :shrug:

Serving in the military is the government 'taking care' of them?No. I greatly appreciate those serving in the military. They were mature enough to get out of the nest and fend for themselves. They'll be taught dicipline and how to take care of themselves.

I was referring to the adults living at home, not paying rent. The future "entitlement" group.

What about all the yard work, home improvements and such they are asked to do in exchange for rent? Now, money they were trying to save for their own downpayment goes to her.

Umm...I don't think you're supposed to spell it like that. :shocking: :killingme

:lol: sorry, just saw that.

What about all the yard work, home improvements and such they are asked to do in exchange for rent? Now, money they were trying to save for their own downpayment goes to her.

Are you replying to me? What does the average apartment down there go for? $900? That's how much she's been saving them each month. She can always kick them out. Would that be better?

9 or 10 and hour is a wonderful amount if you work off that base and in the park. You forget, there are jobs out there that are small businesses and can't afford to pay what the base pays (at least for the prime job) work at the commisary or a food place and you get paid less than 9 or 10 even on the base. and before the base grew, there was no need to make a lot. But the prices around here grew with the base but the outside salaries did not.


so good for them if they make 9 or 10 and hour !!!!


reward mediocrity :coffee:

I need some advice from parents who have been there when it comes to having adult children still at home. They hardly make enough money to pay their bills........

I was 19 living at home with my mom and step father. I paid her each month I don't recall the amout. I would go to the store and buy things for the house.

When I moved back in with 5 years ago during my divorce I paid $400.00 a month. I was only there a few days a week and everyother weekend. I again brought food and other supplies for the house and I had my own bathroom so I kept that stocked myself. This time around I was also supporting my own child.

If I had to move back in today I would pay her, and probably more then I did 5 years ago. I don't expect my parents to support me. I'm a 32 year old with 2 kids I should be able to take care of me and my own. But there are times when help is need from your parents. Just do over do your welcome.

reward mediocrity :coffee::yeahthat:
Applauding $9-10.00/hr wages is not encouraging anyone to do better. Hope they like having the kids live at home... :lmao:

I guess either way they are screwed. If they pay her or rent something either way they will no longer have money for a house. She came out of the blue and told them not asked for money. She could have went about it another way. I feel for them cause I know what its like to scrap by while trying to save money.

I guess either way they are screwed. If they pay her or rent something either way they will no longer have money for a house. She came out of the blue and told them not asked for money. She could have went about it another way. I feel for them cause I know what its like to scrap by while trying to save money.
Are you on Gov't Assistance? :popcorn:

I need some advice from parents who have been there when it comes to having adult children still at home. They hardly make enough money to pay their bills........

I'm not the parent, I was that adult child........house rules for me were pay rent in addition to several rules that weren't unreasonable.

Rent $50 wk plus my share of any bills they didn't have but I wanted.
Things like cable or internet service, if they didn't need/want it, were paid by me but food and their existing utilities were included.

Rules:
home by 2A
call if not coming home or late
keep room and bathroom clean
do own laundry
be helpful with chores (cut grass, dust, something to contribute to upkeep)
saving/checking accounts monitored by a parent


This (even when I was younger) is not unreasonable to me and I'll have the same rules for my children when the time comes. It absolutely made an impression that life is not free and a perspective on how much more $$ it was going to cost to be on my own.

AND the nice surprise in the end was, they gave it all back to me when I moved out. I didn't know they were going to do it.

I take care of the child when her mom works. I have 2 adult children at home.

From this comment I would say that you are enabling them.
Sounds like this may have gotten out of hand and you're being taken advantage of.

Are they saving $$.
Do they do anything for you in return.
This should be give and take, doesn't sound like they're giving.

Lets back up here.....when I was 21 only making $10.00 an hour...I was living on my own, with a roomate. We each paid 400.00 / month in rent and split everything else. so YES $10.00 / Hr works just fine....some one said earlier...they need to adjust there life style! 10-11... / Hr way better than what most grown folks are getting. tell him or her to suck it up, move out and grow the helll up...this is whats wrong with this world:smack: now...cut the cord already.

:yeahthat:
Applauding $9-10.00/hr wages is not encouraging anyone to do better. Hope they like having the kids live at home... :lmao:

In todays world it is at least a job.....APPLAUD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
not all are fortunate enough to make 25 and 30 an hour...certainly if the workers that made 9 to 10 an hour didn't work..then you would have nowhere to shop or take your rich azz to lunch. All the ones that don't make money work at places you probably like to frequent. so in essence the government takes care of you, by over paying you.

I have a question.....from what I read.......
daughter works 9-5 and sends her child to daycare. Then she works again in the evenings and on weekends, we'll say 1-8hr Sat and 4hrs an evening.

You work all day (?), watch her child at night and on Sat.

This would mean you are working, cooking, cleaning, feeding and housing them both.
It sounds to me like your husband is dead on, life is not free nor easy.

What does you daughter do on off days to contribute to the household?
Basicly she's paying for daycare with her part time job so where is the rest of the money going.

Is she saving it?? I would want proof of that or she'd be out. Granted there's a grandchild but perhaps your daughter needs a reality check on how much you're doing for her.

Somehow i don't think it is a question of having her kids at home. They are her kids and she loves her kids i am sure. And hopefully she will follow her gut on this one and do what she feels is right. It's not like the kids never lived there before. To have something left after bills would be nice. maybe 100 a month from each. Put it away or have a nice night out on the kids.

In todays world it is at least a job.....APPLAUD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


This is true..BUT I wonder if the daughter is working so many hours to just get out of the house and away from responsibility.

What about all the yard work, home improvements and such they are asked to do in exchange for rent? Now, money they were trying to save for their own downpayment goes to her.

Huh? My 14 and 16 year old are expected do house work, yard work, and home improvements now so it would have absolutely no bearing on rent should they be in a position that leaves them having to stay in our house once they are graduated from high school.

This is true..BUT I wonder if the daughter is working so many hours to just get out of the house and away from responsibility.

funny thing is...that is a real possibility. Which is probably the key. Make her pay for a baby sitter more. Mom and stepdad might just be getting burned out. After all they did already raise theirs. Or find out what a babysitter would charge and have her pay that to mom. Me thinks you got something there...

Times change, I guess. When I turned 18, the very first thing I did was get my own place. Couldn't imagine living with my Mom while trying to become a grown-up person instead of a kid with a curfew. Had a roommate, we split everything, were poor, but that's okay because we had our own apartment like big girls and it was cool. :yay:

I can't imagine adult children who would want to live with Mommy and Daddy. You'd think it would cramp their style.

A friend of mine had to start paying a small amount of rent after we graduated from high school. She lived with her parents until she bought her own place, at which time her parents gave her the keys to the fat bank account they'd been saving her "rent" money in. I always wished my parents had made me pay fake rent.

As long as they (3 boys) were in school of any kind we let them stay at home free but when they stopped school or graduated then they had to pay rent. We charged them "fake Rent" but they had no idea it was fake, and bought the kids stuff with the money when they moved into their own place. It really helped them out.

In todays world it is at least a job.....APPLAUD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
not all are fortunate enough to make 25 and 30 an hour...certainly if the workers that made 9 to 10 an hour didn't work..then you would have nowhere to shop or take your rich azz to lunch. All the ones that don't make money work at places you probably like to frequent. so in essence the government takes care of you, by over paying you.

Those are fantastic jobs for teenagers or those working their way through college..not adults with children.

funny thing is...that is a real possibility. Which is probably the key. Make her pay for a baby sitter more. Mom and stepdad might just be getting burned out. After all they did already raise theirs. Or find out what a babysitter would charge and have her pay that to mom. Me thinks you got something there...

If this truely is the situation I would require they pay 100 per week min, for the 3 of them. I would HELP with sitting but not make it a priority and I would require proof (bank statement) of them saving.

I know someone in this situation. The mother/father are never home, always saying have to work. They don't contribute $$ in any way for food, electric, rent, ect. Nor do they contribute to household chores, as they're never home. The initial plan was husband/wife and baby would move in for one year and save $$ to go out on own. One year has become two years and are now saying they still need to save more. Of course noone knows how much has actually been saved to date.

I had moved in with my Grandparents a few years back. I was there for a while and gave them $150 every 2 weeks and got my own food. If they happend to pick up something for me or my child at the store I gave them money for it.

Huh? My 14 and 16 year old are expected do house work, yard work, and home improvements now so it would have absolutely no bearing on rent should they be in a position that leaves them having to stay in our house once they are graduated from high school.
:clap: :thewave:

After all they did already raise theirs.

And hopefully right where they are not still bumming off of M&D.

:clap: :thewave:

M replaced an electrical socket for me yesterday. His first... and completely on his own. When he turned the power back on and it worked perfectly he grinned and gave me a, "Who da man?" :lol:

If this truely is the situation I would require they pay 100 per week min, for the 3 of them. I would HELP with sitting but not make it a priority and I would require proof (bank statement) of them saving.

I know someone in this situation. The mother/father are never home, always saying have to work. They don't contribute $$ in any way for food, electric, rent, ect. Nor do they contribute to household chores, as they're never home. The initial plan was husband/wife and baby would move in for one year and save $$ to go out on own. One year has become two years and are now saying they still need to save more. Of course noone knows how much has actually been saved to date.

now that is just taking full advantage of the parents, and that is sad. Truth be known they probably haven't saved anything. They are playing while mom and dad struggle with bills and child care. By now the baby probably thinks as grandma as mommy.

M replaced an electrical socket for me yesterday. His first... and completely on his own. When he turned the power back on and it worked perfectly he grinned and gave me a, "Who da man?" :lol:
Call me when he starts reupholstering furniture and sewing. :eyebrow:

I had to pay bills at the age of 16. I paid phone and cable and bought $200 in groceries every month. Not to mention i paid for my car insurance , gas and clothes. I say if your 18 and you live at home you need to pay something.

Fake rent is STUPID! there is no such thing as "Fake Rent" in the real world....so why do it? thats like I'm going to pretend to pay my cell phone bill & maybe they will let it stay on....NOT:sarcasm:

Fake rent is STUPID! there is no such thing as "Fake Rent" in the real world....so why do it? thats like I'm going to pretend to pay my cell phone bill & maybe they will let it stay on....NOT:sarcasm:

You're just not really in the spirit of this whole nurturing thing, are you? :lol:

I actually paid rent when I got my first job at 14. Yep. We were dirt friggin' poor and my Ma needed the money. So I kicked in like $25 a month or something like that. Then it got raised up to $50 a month when I was was older and working regularly. After I graduated high school, I was paying almost half the rent on our apartment.

It's amazing I turned out as good as I did, with that mean witch who "raised" me.

:dance:

You're just not really in the spirit of this whole nurturing thing, are you? :lol:

I actually paid rent when I got my first job at 14. Yep. We were dirt friggin' poor and my Ma needed the money. So I kicked in like $25 a month or something like that. Then it got raised up to $50 a month when I was was older and working regularly. After I graduated high school, I was paying almost half the rent on our apartment.

It's amazing I turned out as good as I did, with that mean witch who "raised" me.

:dance:

Did you walk to work or did your parents drive you? I was just discussing this w/ my oldest the other day... If he expects to use my veh or have be drive him to and from his job he can kick down some gas $ :lol: I am a mean mommy :dance:

Did you walk to work or did your parents drive you? I was just discussing this w/ my oldest the other day... If he expects to use my veh or have be drive him to and from his job he can kick down some gas $ :lol: I am a mean mommy :dance:

Lincoln is a great transportation town, with bike paths all over the city and a very good bus system. I rode my bike, mostly, but when it was bad weather I took the bus. Sometimes I caught a ride with a co-worker and kicked in for gas.

I've been independent since I was very young, which is why I can go anywhere and do anything without being scared or insecure. I know I can take care of myself. My Mom feels some guilt about that, but she actually gave me a great gift.

I completly agree with u V:buddies:

You're just not really in the spirit of this whole nurturing thing, are you? :lol:

I actually paid rent when I got my first job at 14. Yep. We were dirt friggin' poor and my Ma needed the money. So I kicked in like $25 a month or something like that. Then it got raised up to $50 a month when I was was older and working regularly. After I graduated high school, I was paying almost half the rent on our apartment.

It's amazing I turned out as good as I did, with that mean witch who "raised" me.

:dance:

:high5: been out since I was barely 16. Have means, will travel :yay:

Just don't get taken advantage of. Your husband may feel that is whats going on and no one likes that. They may not have plans of moving out on their own if they do not think they need to. You have raised your children and it is time to have quality time with your husband. Nothing wrong with helping them out but they may get comfortable with the living condition and not feel a need to go anywhere.

As long as they (3 boys) were in school of any kind we let them stay at home free but when they stopped school or graduated then they had to pay rent. We charged them "fake Rent" but they had no idea it was fake, and bought the kids stuff with the money when they moved into their own place. It really helped them out.

That was the deal for my brother & I also, no rent payment while in school. I guess it was their way of encouraging us to go to college because neither one of us exactly loved school. :lol: We had to pay for car insurance, car payments, phone bill, clothes, going out, etc. We also did a lot around the house/yard.

If our cars needed repairs & we were short on money, my parents paid for the repair & we paid them back on payday. There were quite a few times that they'd say, "oh don't worry about paying us back" but they raised us both better than that. We always paid them back, even if it meant slipping the money into Dad's wallet. To this day, my brother & I are both very responsible financially. Although I didn't like paying rent then, I appreciate it now. Parents who allow their adult children to freeload aren't doing them any favors in the long run.

Huh? My 14 and 16 year old are expected do house work, yard work, and home improvements now so it would have absolutely no bearing on rent should they be in a position that leaves them having to stay in our house once they are graduated from high school.

I have a problem with getting my son to do things around the house because he works full time and I only work part time and take care of a 7 month old w/ disabilities. He feels as though he should not have to do any yard work or clean because he pays 100.00 per week. I pay the remainder of the rent, utilities, cable etc. I don't mind cooking and cleaning but I hate yard work.

Family.

What are you getting pissy about? I am all for a helping hand.

I am not getting pissy, sorry if it sounded like that , I am just very blunt

Huh? My 14 and 16 year old are expected do house work, yard work, and home improvements now so it would have absolutely no bearing on rent should they be in a position that leaves them having to stay in our house once they are graduated from high school.

They live in one of those in-law apts on her property so they pay their own utilities, groceries etc. They only ask her to put the kids on the bus and babysit for an occasional date night. They do everything else as far as home/yard care. The original agreement was no rent in exchange for help around the property. I guess they are mostly upset she came out of nowhere and didn't try to sit down with them. She made them feel like it's their fault she needs money. I agree kids should pay rent if living at home but it should definitely be laid out at the beginning.

As a young guy I worked for 75 cents an hour during the summer when school was out. If I remember correctly, Mom made me pay $30 a month rent during those times. Gave me a very strong sense of how to manage money that I've followed all my life.

As a young guy I worked for 75 cents an hour during the summer when school was out. If I remember correctly, Mom made me pay $30 a month rent during those times. Gave me a very strong sense of how to manage money that I've followed all my life.

now that is a great son. My father passed away last year, but when he was 17, his father died. He had to take care of his mother and 6 sisters. He did it by working in the Navy Yard in the 1930"s and later went on to marry my mother and have 10 kids. He was the best provider. Sent us all to Catholic Schools. He was in the army and air force. I hope my son turns out like my father. My dad was like a father to my 17 year old son. I am glad that my son inherited some of his qualities. To the mother who is having problems, please talk to your child and if he/she is so selfish that they cant AT LEAST OFFER SOMETHING, THEN I WOULD LET THE hUSBAND DEAL WITH IT.( Keep hitting cap locks )----sorry

What are you getting pissy about? I am all for a helping hand.

Too damned stupid to realize that welfare was meant as a hand up, not a hand out.

Too many people see it as the latter and THAT is why there is generational poverty, pure unadulterated laziness perpetuated by parents who are willing to let their adult children walk all over them.

I have a problem with getting my son to do things around the house because he works full time and I only work part time and take care of a 7 month old w/ disabilities. He feels as though he should not have to do any yard work or clean because he pays 100.00 per week. I pay the remainder of the rent, utilities, cable etc. I don't mind cooking and cleaning but I hate yard work.

:wah:
You need to tell that sorry sack o' shiat that there a PLENTY of people in this world that have full time jobs and still manage to cut grass, clean house, cook dinner, raise kids, coach soccer and volunteer in the community. I suggest you find some testicular fortitude and tell him the gravy train is going to grind to a halt if he doesn't start acting like a freaking adult.

Q>>> Jeezus Key-Rist how do people expect to raise responsible members of society while bottle feeding them into their twenties!?


A>>> I know! I'll ask people on the interwebs how to raise my kids!

I think that is exactly what I will do. Thank you for the advice. How do you feel about charging child for gas money since I get up with the baby every morning and we drive him to work? Is that going overboard?

A friend of mine had to start paying a small amount of rent after we graduated from high school. She lived with her parents until she bought her own place, at which time her parents gave her the keys to the fat bank account they'd been saving her "rent" money in. I always wished my parents had made me pay fake rent. :lol:

That is a really good idea! I'm going to have to remember that in about 13 years!!

I think that is exactly what I will do. Thank you for the advice. How do you feel about charging child for gas money since I get up with the baby every morning and we drive him to work? Is that going overboard?

No that is not overboard at all. Let him take a taxi or ride a bike to work if he doesnt want to pay. Mom's taxi service costs something.

So, back to the OP's original question. Nothing's been said about whether the daughter receives child support for the baby. If she doesn't, she should be pursuing that. And if and when she gets it, you should raise her rent accordingly.

I feel like we've raised a whole generation of "kids" who we wanted to be "friends" with, instead of parents to. They should both definitely be paying rent. Your food bills, your utilities are all higher because they are living there so they should be contributing. It's a shame you have to ask.

Making them pay any amount will start them on the road to more responsibility, even if it's nothing more than $25 a week. You know what they make and what they can afford - make it in line with that. Your daughter should pay more because there are two of them.

The whole "putting it into an account and giving it back to them later" is a nice idea, but frankly, you are paying for them to live there, and if they think they'll be getting it back, there's a pretty good chance they won't pay you. If you don't feel good about taking their money, put what they pay you back into the house - a new appliance, a new piece of furniture, whatever - that everyone can use.

I think there should be consequences for not paying you - like putting a lock on the electrical panel and turning off the power to their room/bathroom when they don't pay. They need to start finding out NOW what it's like in the real world, even if it is on a smaller scale.

I hope that you don't have ask them for help around the house - as adults they should already know what needs to be done and be doing it. But if they haven't already offered to kick in some rent money, I'll bet they're deadbeats when it comes to helping out, too.

That is a really good idea! I'm going to have to remember that in about 13 years!!

A friend of mine had to start paying a small amount of rent after we graduated from high school. She lived with her parents until she bought her own place, at which time her parents gave her the keys to the fat bank account they'd been saving her "rent" money in. I always wished my parents had made me pay fake rent. :lol:

That is just wrong. It sends mixed messages. They will think they can do anything and Mom and Dad with have their back. Not a good idea.

If you are an adult then you need to be paying your own bills! Living at home doesn't mean free rent. Parents only are responsible financially til you are 18.Hubby and I agreed if our kids want to stay living with us when they are 18 and graduated from high school they have to pay rent. Rent will be more if they are not in college.

I think that if you want your kids to pay rent, you should make them pay rent.

If you want them to get out of the house and on their own, you should throw them out.

Not sure why anyone else's opinion should matter. They're your kids.

That is just wrong. It sends mixed messages. They will think they can do anything and Mom and Dad with have their back. Not a good idea.

You're right. My friend was really disappointed when she sold her first house and the mortgage company didn't give her all her money back. She assumed she'd been paying "fake mortgage." :ohwell:

:high5: been out since I was barely 16. Have means, will travel :yay:

Was that when you joined the circus?

Was that when you joined the circus?

Yes, with the daring young men on the flying trapeze!

I want my three year old to pay rent now. No sense in making him wait till he's 18, right? I could use the money now anyway. It's not like Matchbox cars and Juicy Juice boxes are cheap nowadays.

I want my three year old to pay rent now. No sense in making him wait till he's 18, right? I could use the money now anyway. It's not like Matchbox cars and Juicy Juice boxes are cheap nowadays.

You mean you haven't been making him pay rent all this time? He's in for a rude awakening in a decade and a half!

I want my three year old to pay rent now. No sense in making him wait till he's 18, right? I could use the money now anyway. It's not like Matchbox cars and Juicy Juice boxes are cheap nowadays.

Little moochers just think stuff grows on trees. Good to wise them up early. :yay:

Little moochers just think stuff grows on trees. Good to wise them up early. :yay:Can you believe that he wants ME to pay for his damn daycare?!?!?! Un-freakin'-believable. :crazy:

I wish he'd get a damn job.

I think that is exactly what I will do. Thank you for the advice. How do you feel about charging child for gas money since I get up with the baby every morning and we drive him to work? Is that going overboard?You're too stupid to have procreated. Please refrain from doing it again. TIA.

In todays world it is at least a job.....APPLAUD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
not all are fortunate enough to make 25 and 30 an hour...certainly if the workers that made 9 to 10 an hour didn't work..then you would have nowhere to shop or take your rich azz to lunch. All the ones that don't make money work at places you probably like to frequent. so in essence the government takes care of you, by over paying you.
1. $9.00-10.00 hour jobs are for kids in high school or college. Not adults with kids as another poster said.
2. I am not rich.
3. The govt. does NOT take care of me.
4. I do not work for the govt.

You're too stupid to have procreated. Please refrain from doing it again. TIA.

Glad to see the "be nicer" thing is working for ya. :yay:

Glad to see the "be nicer" thing is working for ya. :yay:

Ohhhh..so thats who that is..:lol:

Ohhhh..so thats who that is..:lol:

:lol:

Glad to see the "be nicer" thing is working for ya. :yay::roflmao:

The dolt asked: "How do you feel about charging child for gas money since I get up with the baby every morning and we drive him to work? Is that going overboard?"

Do you want more of that world class brain reproducing? I don't. She's on an internet bulletin board asking for advice on how to raise an adult with a child that she can't get out of her house.

My "be nicer" has limits. :biggrin:

Ohhhh..so thats who that is..:lol::lol:

Yous knows nuthing!!! :razz: