A new story for my beautiful kwillia....

Recently, I was landscaping my situation. I decided to go for a full shave. I began the arduous task. Some ladies spend tons of time, cremes and fluffing powder on their genitalia. I do not. With no pants on I might be best described as Bob Ross-esque. After he has been dead for a few years.

So I looked at my wimpy hand-held razor and asked it to choke back more than it ever thought it would have to chew. And it fought valiantly, but succumbed to the thick, unrelenting hair. Geek's body hair is like insidious weeds, destined to stay put no matter how hard you pull or dig.

The razor was done. I was not. I had only gotten half way. I eyed TGS's man razor. It stared shaking under my gaze. It sent the shave creme bottle hurling at my toes in an effort to protect itself.

Poor bastard. Even worse, we all know I would dull the #### out of that razor and set it back on the shelf without telling poor TGS. (The Geek Spanker)


I was tired. Things were feeling more open then they had in years. I should have trimmed with a scissor first.

So I gave up. Got out of the shower and toweled off. I looked in the mirror to see the fruits of my labor. It was not pretty. My lady bits had a scraggly goatee. Nothing sexy or remotely appealing.

It was a pusstee.

I'm too old to care, but I did say I silent prayer that I wouldn't be in a car wreck that required scissor induced nudity before all ambulance rides.

I will find the strength to finish the job, though while rocking my Grateful Dead inspired genitalia, I find my farts smell like patchouli if I send them out the front.

:geek:

Seriously Geek... please consider spending the $30 bucks and having Pasofever do it for you. She'll not only give your schnauzer a professional looking clip, she'll spritz it with cologne and put a bow on it.

Seriously Geek... please consider spending the $30 bucks and having Pasofever do it for you. She'll not only give your schnauzer a professional looking clip, she'll spritz it with cologne and put a bow on it.

:roflmao: I have missed you.


I am afraid it might take her hand off if she came at it with a bow.

Just head to your local hardware store and purchase some fly paper, or just grab one of the strips from around your house that has dead flies on it. It's not like there aren't plenty of dead flies there already anyway :lol:

Just head to your local hardware store and purchase some fly paper, or just grab one of the strips from around your house that has dead flies on it. It's not like there aren't plenty of dead flies there already anyway :lol:

That's why we named your tongue the Venus fly trap. You sexy mother ####er. :smoochy:

:roflmao: I have missed you.




And we miss your stories......

:lol:

BTW, I use a Gillette M3 Power... doesn't bog down or get intimidated...

And we miss your stories......

:lol:

BTW, I use a Gillette M3 Power... doesn't bog down or get intimidated...

tip toes over to your house...

And we miss your stories......

:yeahthat: Welcome back Geek!!! :howdy:

:yeahthat: Welcome back Geek!!! :howdy:

Hey baby!!! :smoochy:

BTW, I use a Gillette M3 Power... doesn't bog down or get intimidated...
I second this...

tip toes over to your house...
I'll smooth you if you smooth me.....

I second this...
You just like it because it vibrates....

I second this...

sneaking your to do my armpits...

I'll smooth you if you smooth me.....


You just like it because it vibrates....

Hold the phone it vibrates? :yahoo: that will surely cut though the oak tree thick hairs :yahoo:

You just like it because it vibrates....


Well of course

schoolgirlgiggle

It was a pusstee.


:geek:

:roflmao: :killingme :roflmao:

:roflmao: :killingme :roflmao:

Hello gorgeous. :love:

Seriously Geek... please consider spending the $30 bucks and having Pasofever do it for you. She'll not only give your schnauzer a professional looking clip, she'll spritz it with cologne and put a bow on it.

:lmao:
And here I thought I had a hard time with my present condition.

Hello gorgeous. :love:

:love: Hey sugar muffin! We miss you!

Seriously Geek... please consider spending the $30 bucks and having Pasofever do it for you. She'll not only give your schnauzer a professional looking clip, she'll spritz it with cologne and put a bow on it.

Dang. That seems kinda steep. She charges 40 bucks to do the shih tzu's, and they're pretty hairy.

For 25 I'll get some double sided duct tape and do it for you Geek. I've missed your crazy stories too. :killingme

I second this...

Most disgusting!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Oh My Effing God. :killingme

I :heart: geek.

Most disgusting!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Stick around for a little bit, littlbit. You ain't seen nothing yet. This was mild for Geek. If this is most disgusting, I suggest you put Geek on ignore now and save yourself from the really good posts she makes. Those even make me sometimes want to gag. :barf: :killingme

Stick around for a little bit, littlbit. You ain't seen nothing yet. This was mild for Geek. If this is most disgusting, I suggest you put Geek on ignore now and save yourself from the really good posts she makes. Those even make me sometimes want to gag. :barf: :killingme

This was the first post by Geek that I have ever read, must say-I am impressed :buddies:

:killingme

Seriously Geek... please consider spending the $30 bucks and having Pasofever do it for you. She'll not only give your schnauzer a professional looking clip, she'll spritz it with cologne and put a bow on it.



TVM Kwillia loves when I send her out of here with such a clean shaven good smelling schnauzer....:yay: Thanks for thinking of me Kwillia. I am working tonight so I have a few schnauzers to do...want pics?

:roflmao: :killingme :roflmao:

:yeahthat: I cannot believe that I missed this thread. I so love Geek's stories.

Dang. That seems kinda steep. She charges 40 bucks to do the shih tzu's, and they're pretty hairy.

For 25 I'll get some double sided duct tape and do it for you Geek. I've missed your crazy stories too. :killingme

My stories :shrug: mom made my stories...with her gone I have none I miss her..she will be gone a year Dec 4th...now I only have funny stories about me...

Wow, just wow. This is the first thread I read in the Ladies Room and I'm impressed! Oh, and the guys were talking about some nifty power tools in another thread:
http://forums.somd.com/consumer-financial-affairs/192520-stihl-bg86-leaf-blower-review.html

Maybe stihl sells a weedwacker that might come in handy?

This was the first post by Geek that I have ever read, must say-I am impressed :buddies:



search for :Geek goes to the car wash"



:killingme

:lol:

BTW, I use a Gillette M3 Power... doesn't bog down or get intimidated...

Hey does it have a Hemi?

A new story for my beautiful kwillia....

Recently, I was landscaping my situation. I decided to go for a full shave. I began the arduous task.

:geek:



I am sure half the guys on SOMD would volunteer to help with that .... :elaine:


the other half would have their wives staring them down if they said a peep :whistle: