Help!!!!!

ok trying to make a long story short.

I have suspected my husband of having a "thing" for my/our friend who is married w/ kids too... I know him I know when he is flirting and she is too.

Well my sister hadnt checked hers myspace in a month or so and went on yesterday went to his page and noticed that my husband and my "friend" have been chatting a lot back n forth via myspace... to the point she thought it was a little innapropriate (one example my husband is very anal about his music collection and wouldn't even let my sister borrow any of it...) so there was comments on there that my "friend" said "you never offered to let me use your cd's" and he responded "you never asked"

plus last wednesday he and i got into a HUGE fight. and the next day... rather than being concerned w/ me... he is asking why she wasnt at the gym wed night

I confronted him by sending him an email... then we got into at home... I told him it was innapropriate etc and he said if it was something innapropritate i would have moved it to private messages... adn I said so that is why you changed you password then you have something to hide from me.

I know it seems pshyco of me to think that I should send an email to her and cc him ... but i shouldnt just be upset w/ him she is my friend and shouldnt be doing that... she should flirt w/ her own damn husband.

what should i say?

[kvj21075]

let it go, let them get closer, then when he start s"working late" stalk him, get evidence of him cheating on you. then take his sorry cheating butt to court and suck every penny out of that bastage!

[migtig]

Are you sure you aren't being hypersensitive? At this point I'm on his side. Perhaps your sister isn't trustworthy of his music collection, but your friend is. Also if it was an open publically viewed conversation - what was so "secretive" and inappropriate about it? If he was cheating with your friend, it wouldn't be poste don facebook.

Maybe you need to not get into a fight with your husband, nor your friend, but let him know you are feeling left out, possibly even jealous and insecure, and that you love him and would like for him to have these conversations with you and include you.

Yelling and fighting won't solve anything but push him further away from you.

I think you should consider a truly open conversation where you aren't accusing him of anything. Maybe you'll find out that he's been feeling neglected by you and your jealousy issues have made him not want to talk to you for fear of an argument. Meanwhile you've been feeling hurt and left out and jealous and by fighting with him are making things worse.

A relationship isn't just about one person's feelings. Try some open calm conversation instead of angry accusations.

[dolemite]

Originally Posted by AmandaHugNKiss

ok trying to make a long story short.

I have suspected my husband of having a "thing" for my/our friend who is married w/ kids too... I know him I know when he is flirting and she is too.

Well my sister hadnt checked hers myspace in a month or so and went on yesterday went to his page and noticed that my husband and my "friend" have been chatting a lot back n forth via myspace... to the point she thought it was a little innapropriate (one example my husband is very anal about his music collection and wouldn't even let my sister borrow any of it...) so there was comments on there that my "friend" said "you never offered to let me use your cd's" and he responded "you never asked"

plus last wednesday he and i got into a HUGE fight. and the next day... rather than being concerned w/ me... he is asking why she wasnt at the gym wed night

I confronted him by sending him an email... then we got into at home... I told him it was innapropriate etc and he said if it was something innapropritate i would have moved it to private messages... adn I said so that is why you changed you password then you have something to hide from me.

I know it seems pshyco of me to think that I should send an email to her and cc him ... but i shouldnt just be upset w/ him she is my friend and shouldnt be doing that... she should flirt w/ her own damn husband.

what should i say?

Don't be looking for clues if you can't handle the truth.

[MissBtrayed]

Originally Posted by AmandaHugNKiss

ok trying to make a long story short.

I have suspected my husband of having a "thing" for my/our friend who is married w/ kids too... I know him I know when he is flirting and she is too.

Well my sister hadnt checked hers myspace in a month or so and went on yesterday went to his page and noticed that my husband and my "friend" have been chatting a lot back n forth via myspace... to the point she thought it was a little innapropriate (one example my husband is very anal about his music collection and wouldn't even let my sister borrow any of it...) so there was comments on there that my "friend" said "you never offered to let me use your cd's" and he responded "you never asked"

plus last wednesday he and i got into a HUGE fight. and the next day... rather than being concerned w/ me... he is asking why she wasnt at the gym wed night

I confronted him by sending him an email... then we got into at home... I told him it was innapropriate etc and he said if it was something innapropritate i would have moved it to private messages... adn I said so that is why you changed you password then you have something to hide from me.

I know it seems pshyco of me to think that I should send an email to her and cc him ... but i shouldnt just be upset w/ him she is my friend and shouldnt be doing that... she should flirt w/ her own damn husband.

what should i say?

Get the book "Not 'Just Friends' " - the very first signs - having to hide stuff - changing his password?? and did either of them tell you about their "friendship" ?

If she is also your friend, I would confront them both head on right now. Tell them exactly what it appears to you and how you feel. If she is truly your friend, she will understand and back off, and if your hubby truly cares about your marriage, he will also apologize and knock the crap off - that is if it is innocent - if it is not, they will keep on and it will grow and grow until it is too late....

Originally Posted by kvj21075

let it go, let them get closer, then when he start s"working late" stalk him, get evidence of him cheating on you. then take his sorry cheating butt to court and suck every penny out of that bastage!

but i love my husband and don't believe in divorce!

[lovinmaryland]

Originally Posted by migtig

Are you sure you aren't being hypersensitive? At this point I'm on his side. Perhaps your sister isn't trustworthy of his music collection, but your friend is. Also if it was an open publically viewed conversation - what was so "secretive" and inappropriate about it? If he was cheating with your friend, it wouldn't be poste don facebook.

Maybe you need to not get into a fight with your husband, nor your friend, but let him know you are feeling left out, possibly even jealous and insecure, and that you love him and would like for him to have these conversations with you and include you.

Yelling and fighting won't solve anything but push him further away from you.

I think you should consider a truly open conversation where you aren't accusing him of anything. Maybe you'll find out that he's been feeling neglected by you and your jealousy issues have made him not want to talk to you for fear of an argument. Meanwhile you've been feeling hurt and left out and jealous and by fighting with him are making things worse.

A relationship isn't just about one person's feelings. Try some open calm conversation instead of angry accusations.

You are always so smart!

Originally Posted by MissBtrayed

Get the book "Not 'Just Friends' " - the very first signs - having to hide stuff - changing his password?? and did either of them tell you about their "friendship" ?

If she is also your friend, I would confront them both head on right now. Tell them exactly what it appears to you and how you feel. If she is truly your friend, she will understand and back off, and if your hubby truly cares about your marriage, he will also apologize and knock the crap off - that is if it is innocent - if it is not, they will keep on and it will grow and grow until it is too late....

I like this answer too!

[MJ (Premo)]

Post a link to his myspace so we can analyze the messages.

[RoseRed (Premo)]

Originally Posted by AmandaHugNKiss

ok trying to make a long story short.

I have suspected my husband of having a "thing" for my/our friend who is married w/ kids too... I know him I know when he is flirting and she is too.

Well my sister hadnt checked hers myspace in a month or so and went on yesterday went to his page and noticed that my husband and my "friend" have been chatting a lot back n forth via myspace... to the point she thought it was a little innapropriate (one example my husband is very anal about his music collection and wouldn't even let my sister borrow any of it...) so there was comments on there that my "friend" said "you never offered to let me use your cd's" and he responded "you never asked"

plus last wednesday he and i got into a HUGE fight. and the next day... rather than being concerned w/ me... he is asking why she wasnt at the gym wed night

I confronted him by sending him an email... then we got into at home... I told him it was innapropriate etc and he said if it was something innapropritate i would have moved it to private messages... adn I said so that is why you changed you password then you have something to hide from me.

I know it seems pshyco of me to think that I should send an email to her and cc him ... but i shouldnt just be upset w/ him she is my friend and shouldnt be doing that... she should flirt w/ her own damn husband.

what should i say?

You should call your friends husband and tattle on her. That'll make things better.

[K_Jo (Premo)]

Originally Posted by RoseRed

You should call your friends husband and tattle on her. That'll make things better.

And then start banging the friend's husband for revenge.