What I hate

[twinoaks207 (Premo)]

Originally Posted by vraiblonde

No. I'm talking about two people who were publicly all over each other, professing their perfect love for each other, sunshine and roses every single day, while privately loathing each other and their life together. They were not trying to work through any differences, they were trying to fake people into thinking everything was uber peachy perfect when it wasn't even close.

We had some friends who gave every appearance of being happy, devoted, etc., etc. Could have knocked us over with a feather when we heard they had separated. We were even further shocked when we started to hear "the sides".

When something like that happens, it makes you wonder what it was that you missed because there had to be something, right? This kind of stuff just doesn't happen out of the blue. And then you start to wonder what other things you're "missing" and are you really that bad at judging people that you got so misled. In a way, it was sort of a betrayal --- of an idea. It was a realization that no, things aren't always what they seem, and who wants to know that as it just makes things more complicated when you can't trust your own judgement.

For the record, in October, we'll have been married for 32 years, and together for 38. Yeah, we might get mad at each other now & then but we get over it and we go on because we love each other.

And, for the record, my hubby is a saint to put up with me.

Migtig, let me know where that quarry is because I've never thrown any dishes either and it might be fun but I don't want to clean up the shards either!

[vraiblonde]

Originally Posted by twinoaks207

When something like that happens, it makes you wonder what it was that you missed because there had to be something, right? This kind of stuff just doesn't happen out of the blue. And then you start to wonder what other things you're "missing" and are you really that bad at judging people that you got so misled. In a way, it was sort of a betrayal --- of an idea. It was a realization that no, things aren't always what they seem, and who wants to know that as it just makes things more complicated when you can't trust your own judgement.

^This right here^

I feel like a real jerk taking someone else's divorce so personally, but there it is.

[twinoaks207 (Premo)]

Originally Posted by vraiblonde

^This right here^

I feel like a real jerk taking someone else's divorce so personally, but there it is.

Don't feel bad, we literally felt like we were in shock first, then grieving, then depressed. I'm sitting here still, in a kind of state of disbelief and shaking my head and this happened almost 8 years ago.

Just goes to show that you never know what's going on with other folks.

[Larry Gude (Premo)]

Originally Posted by twinoaks207

When something like that happens, it makes you wonder what it was that you missed because there had to be something, right? This kind of stuff just doesn't happen out of the blue. And then you start to wonder what other things you're "missing" and are you really that bad at judging people that you got so misled. In a way, it was sort of a betrayal --- of an idea. It was a realization that no, things aren't always what they seem, and who wants to know that as it just makes things more complicated when you can't trust your own judgement. !

Ah, but, at the end of the day, ANYONE who is married for more than a few years knows all the little compromises, the adjusting of expectations, the changing of priorities, the modification of what the marriage is all about, over time, as life moves on and that becomes as much a variable, something couples decide for themselves that you may well have seen and/or known about but, assumed that they, as a couple, like you, like anyone who stays together, were just working it out and all was basically well.

What I am trying to say is 'happiness' is subjective. If the goal becomes staying married no matter what, you're probably good forever. There's all kinds of long term marriages that are NOT 'happy' in the sense of true, individual fulfillment. You stick it out for the kids, the money, the routines, the stability, and that is ALL valid and fine but, that's not the same as saying 'love each other, truly' love being together, always, etc.

Hell, my dad's definition of a happy marriage is three very important things; breakfast, lunch and dinner. On time. Every day. He's pretty easy going after those three priorities.

Some marriages stay because the last thing they want is to stop making one another miserable.

Some are truly happy.

There is a LOT of make do in a marriage and that's not a bad thing in general. It's the particulars that matter, the individuals, what you can put up with or ignore or accept and what you can't and even that changes and evolves over time.

[GURPS (Premo)]

Originally Posted by slotpuppy

I give my wife a reason to call me an a-hole every day. It has kept us happy for 20+ years.

Liar ....... you said in another thread you were only 24

[GURPS (Premo)]

Originally Posted by RareBreed

He loves to talk and is very social with others.

I prefer to not have to deal with many people and don't tolerate others well.

Ditto ...... my wife is the social one ..... I prefer to stay home and read or play computer games

[GURPS (Premo)]

Originally Posted by FED_UP

.... how many men in here wanted to call their SO a beitch, but held the tong to keep the piece, its ok to confess in here.

I have - in jest mostly, my wife responds - Say It Like You Mean It

so I repeat myself with more infliction in the Bit ....

[GURPS (Premo)]

Originally Posted by Toxick

Does mollywhomping your keyboard really qualify as "writing"?

Urban Dictionary: mollywhoppin
Urban Dictionary: mollywhoppin
To be riding in a vehicle listening to music extremely loudly then getting out the car at stop lights dancing around the car in front of pedestrian...

[slotpuppy]

Originally Posted by GURPS

Liar ....... you said in another thread you were only 24

The life as I knew it ended 20 years ago when I met my wife. So I stopped have birthdays when my life ended. I have been 24 for 20 years now.

[GURPS (Premo)]

Originally Posted by Roman

It really does help to talk, and yes...to laugh about it, but subconsciously, when you refer to yourself as being "Insane', you really DO believe it.

Originally Posted by withrespect

thanks

Just saying I have nothing to hide

if :wr: was truly 'insane' show would not see it to joke about it .....