What I hate

[MMM_donuts]

My bestest friend is having her divorce papers notarized today. In 30-60 days her divorce will be final. This is a divorce that she never wanted but he says he isn't the same person he was when she married him 7 years ago. He says he's changed and doesn't want to miss out on anything now that his perspective is different.

This was a real shocker to everyone when it happened. Even to her. She thought that they were experiencing the normal relationship changes that all marital couples experience. Now all of us are worry worts every time anything changes in our own relationship.

And we'd always heard that it's "too easy" to get a divorce but it has taken them 2 entire years (nc) and thousands of dollars for a completely amicable divorce with money and custody agreements uncontested. That's not "easy".

So, this tread has invoked quite a bit of conversation between the two of us. Mostly questions that she's asked herself over and over for the past few years. Should she have seen it coming? Should she have fought harder against the divorce? Could she have been a better wife and prevented the whole thing? Is it her fault?

[vraiblonde]

Originally Posted by MMM_donuts

So, this tread has invoked quite a bit of conversation between the two of us. Mostly questions that she's asked herself over and over for the past few years. Should she have seen it coming? Should she have fought harder against the divorce? Could she have been a better wife and prevented the whole thing? Is it her fault?

Encourage her to stop that. Someone said on here a long time ago, the worst thing about marriage is that it only takes one person to screw it up for everyone.

Yes, she could have fought harder. Yes, she could have perhaps prevented divorce. But at what cost? How long should a person have to suck it up and put up with all sorts of nonsense just to stay in a miserable marriage?

My friend's divorce was only a surprise to the rest of the world - they knew it was coming for several years.

[Chasey_Lane]

Originally Posted by MMM_donuts

So, this tread has invoked quite a bit of conversation between the two of us. Mostly questions that she's asked herself over and over for the past few years. Should she have seen it coming? Should she have fought harder against the divorce? Could she have been a better wife and prevented the whole thing? Is it her fault?

None of that matters. As vrai said, it takes one person to screw it up for everyone. If someone doesn't want to be with you, move on. Don't try and hold them back.

[FED_UP]

Originally Posted by MMM_donuts

My bestest friend is having her divorce papers notarized today. In 30-60 days her divorce will be final. This is a divorce that she never wanted but he says he isn't the same person he was when she married him 7 years ago. He says he's changed and doesn't want to miss out on anything now that his perspective is different.

This was a real shocker to everyone when it happened. Even to her. She thought that they were experiencing the normal relationship changes that all marital couples experience. Now all of us are worry worts every time anything changes in our own relationship.

And we'd always heard that it's "too easy" to get a divorce but it has taken them 2 entire years (nc) and thousands of dollars for a completely amicable divorce with money and custody agreements uncontested. That's not "easy".

So, this tread has invoked quite a bit of conversation between the two of us. Mostly questions that she's asked herself over and over for the past few years. Should she have seen it coming? Should she have fought harder against the divorce? Could she have been a better wife and prevented the whole thing? Is it her fault?

He got a different perspective on life, what kind of BS is that, he left out the real truth, he just wanted to be free again. Marriage can feel like shackles on your feet. It’s just not for everyone long term. My guess is that he felt that way for a long time after being pressured by society rules of marriage is a must since you have been together for so long. On the other hand maybe it was her fault for letting him fall out of love with her, was she putting out, looking good all the time, was she cooking, many issues underlying that we will never know. I am going to get you all a copy of "How to be a Wifey" book.

[Bann (Premo)]

Originally Posted by FED_UP

He got a different perspective on life, what kind of BS is that, he left out the real truth, he just wanted to be free again. Marriage can feel like shackles on your feet. It’s just not for everyone long term. My guess is that he felt that way for a long time after being pressured by society rules of marriage is a must since you have been together for so long. On the other hand maybe it was her fault for letting him fall out of love with her, was she putting out, looking good all the time, was she cooking, many issues underlying that we will never know. I am going to get you all a copy of "How to be a Wifey" book.

You'll find it right beside the "How to tell if your husband is a d*ck" books.

[FED_UP]

Originally Posted by Bann

You'll find it right beside the "How to tell if your husband is a d*ck" books.

First page in the book says no fowl language, penis would have been more lady (wifey) like out your mouth.

[vraiblonde]

Originally Posted by Bann

You'll find it right beside the "How to tell if your husband is a d*ck" books.

:

[FED_UP]

Originally Posted by Bann

You'll find it right beside the "How to tell if your husband is a d*ck" books.

Lets start with "How to be a Wifey" chapter 1 missy. SEX (Steady Everyday Xxx). This helps him not to stray.

[vraiblonde]

Originally Posted by Chasey_Lane

Do I know this couple... or is this just a hypothetical?

The mooshy mooshy couple you know? If they ever split up I will just throw in the towel. Perhaps fly down there and bang their heads together.

[GURPS (Premo)]

Originally Posted by MMM_donuts

Mostly questions that she's asked herself over and over for the past few years. Should she have seen it coming? Should she have fought harder against the divorce? Could she have been a better wife and prevented the whole thing? Is it her fault?

if one party decides they are missing something, and whats to leave, how are you going to change their mind to stay, and not demean yourselves .... we are not talking about putting down the toilet seat or dirty underwear in the hamper

with no real idea what the dude was missing ....

a threesome, European vacations, being able to sleep in and work nights as a bar tender ....





MEN should not be allowed to marry until they are in their mid 30's ...

... most are still uncouth heathens ....

Originally Posted by FED_UP

He got a different perspective on life, what kind of BS is that, he left out the real truth, he just wanted to be free again. Marriage can feel like shackles on your feet. It’s just not for everyone long term. My guess is that he felt that way for a long time after being pressured by society rules of marriage is a must since you have been together for so long. On the other hand maybe it was her fault for letting him fall out of love with her, was she putting out, looking good all the time, was she cooking, many issues underlying that we will never know. I am going to get you all a copy of "How to be a Wifey" book.

valid points .........