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hotcoffee

Suffer the little children....

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I've met a lot of interesting people in my life.

I've been a lot of places and I've experienced a lot more that most of the women my age.

One thing I can say for certain.... Since I was 12years old I have had [URL="http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Matthew+19%3A14&version=KJV"]Jesus walking right beside me[/URL]. Sometimes I can feel His arm around me and when I am scared I can almost see Him defending me.

Since I haven't had the honor of actually meeting Jesus face to face.... It's probably an angel I experience.... but I figure, if it's an angel, the angel takes orders from Jesus, so same difference.

Anyway, I've been talking about a testimony and I've decided to blog it. I don't know if anyone will actually read this.... much less comment on it.... but it might be therapeutic to put this down in writing.... And everyone knows I love to put things down in writing....

I was born in 1950 in Portsmouth Naval Hospital. My father was in the Navy, medical research, and my mom was a stay at home mom.

I was baptized at the Baptist Church in New London, Ct., in 1962. My mother was baptized the same day. I think I've told people before that my mom choked when she came up out of the water. She didn't know how to swim and getting baptized was a rough thing for her to do.

Soon after that, we moved to Puerto Rico. Daddy was stationed at San Juan base. We lived in San Pat. Mom, by that time, had 4 kids and she was really unhappy. Washing clothes for 4 kids and a Chief on a washboard with a wringer washer was no fun at all. Then there were the inspections, which could get white clove.

She had been abusive all my life. Spanking was ok then but she would break a hairbrush over my head, or rip the clothes off me and once she attached me with a vacuum cleaner. She wasn't very happy at all.

I can remember telling my mom that if she threw my brother down the stairs I would tell on her.

We weren't in PR long when she told me that she wished I'd never been born. That's when I acted out and went back stateside to live with Nannie & Papa [my dad's mom and dad].

Nannie was a cool old lady. She was a seamstress by trade and loved to collect recipes from the ladies at the churches. My uncle Don was a Presbyterian Preacher. The church was out back of the house out through the pines. There was a path and it was well worn.


I wasn't crazy about being in a Presbyterian church but I was in the choir and attended every Sunday. I went to some of the teen functions too when they had the youth pastor.

So time passed my parents came back to the states with a new baby in tow. That made 5 kids, 4 girls and a boy, and Mom was a little happier but not much. She wasn't so physically abusive, but she had honed her emotional battle tools to a new level. Still I had to move back with them because I wasn't out of High School yet. I don't think my mom said more than a handful of words to me for the next couple of years.

When I turned 18 I married someone I barely knew and left home.

My mom and dad are no longer around. I guess I'll go into what my dad was like another time.

I'll tell you this.... when I was little I swore I would not abuse my children. People like me... people who see something in the family that needs to be changed and do it.... they were called chain breakers. Well that's me I guess.... Becky the chain breaker..... but it wasn't easy by any means. If it hadn't been for my faith... I wouldn't have made it.

[YOUTUBE]Xyx3WaqhZZg[/YOUTUBE]

That's where I'll stop today....
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  1. countrygirl12's Avatar
    Are these your grandchildren? Regardless, what a sweet family and very talented! Many people have difficult upbringings, I'm sorry about what you went through with your mother, she must have been fighting some terrible things within! Becky cling to the Atonement of Jesus Christ to help you heal from this and for every trial you will endure in life. He has felt every ounce of suffering (both physical and spiritual) that all of God's children experience. This is how He knows each of us! Thank you for sharing! ;-)
  2. hotcoffee's Avatar
    No the family in the video isn't my family. I just love the song and the video is so good that I included it here.

    I have always loved my mother.... and I learned independence, fearlessness, and forgiveness.

    If I had lived a great childhood I would not have had any of these tools I would need later in my life.

    Chain breakers have to be strong. Faith made me stronger.

    As this testimony continues, you will see that the Lord chose my mother for me.

    I am blessed.
    Updated 07-10-2013 at 07:29 AM by hotcoffee (grammer)
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