Kwillia wants this

[Geek]

A new story for my beautiful kwillia....

Recently, I was landscaping my situation. I decided to go for a full shave. I began the arduous task. Some ladies spend tons of time, cremes and fluffing powder on their genitalia. I do not. With no pants on I might be best described as Bob Ross-esque. After he has been dead for a few years.

So I looked at my wimpy hand-held razor and asked it to choke back more than it ever thought it would have to chew. And it fought valiantly, but succumbed to the thick, unrelenting hair. Geek's body hair is like insidious weeds, destined to stay put no matter how hard you pull or dig.

The razor was done. I was not. I had only gotten half way. I eyed TGS's man razor. It stared shaking under my gaze. It sent the shave creme bottle hurling at my toes in an effort to protect itself.

Poor bastard. Even worse, we all know I would dull the #### out of that razor and set it back on the shelf without telling poor TGS. (The Geek Spanker)


I was tired. Things were feeling more open then they had in years. I should have trimmed with a scissor first.

So I gave up. Got out of the shower and toweled off. I looked in the mirror to see the fruits of my labor. It was not pretty. My lady bits had a scraggly goatee. Nothing sexy or remotely appealing.

It was a pusstee.

I'm too old to care, but I did say I silent prayer that I wouldn't be in a car wreck that required scissor induced nudity before all ambulance rides.

I will find the strength to finish the job, though while rocking my Grateful Dead inspired genitalia, I find my farts smell like patchouli if I send them out the front.

[kwillia]

Seriously Geek... please consider spending the $30 bucks and having Pasofever do it for you. She'll not only give your schnauzer a professional looking clip, she'll spritz it with cologne and put a bow on it.

[Geek]

Originally Posted by kwillia

Seriously Geek... please consider spending the $30 bucks and having Pasofever do it for you. She'll not only give your schnauzer a professional looking clip, she'll spritz it with cologne and put a bow on it.

I have missed you.


I am afraid it might take her hand off if she came at it with a bow.

[Mojo]

Just head to your local hardware store and purchase some fly paper, or just grab one of the strips from around your house that has dead flies on it. It's not like there aren't plenty of dead flies there already anyway

[Geek]

Originally Posted by Mojo

Just head to your local hardware store and purchase some fly paper, or just grab one of the strips from around your house that has dead flies on it. It's not like there aren't plenty of dead flies there already anyway

That's why we named your tongue the Venus fly trap. You sexy mother ####er.

[GWguy]

Originally Posted by Geek

I have missed you.

And we miss your stories......



BTW, I use a Gillette M3 Power... doesn't bog down or get intimidated...

[Geek]

Originally Posted by GWguy

And we miss your stories......



BTW, I use a Gillette M3 Power... doesn't bog down or get intimidated...

tip toes over to your house...

[belvak (Premo)]

Originally Posted by GWguy

And we miss your stories......

Welcome back Geek!!!

[Geek]

Originally Posted by belvak

Welcome back Geek!!!

Hey baby!!!

[sanchezf (Premo)]

Originally Posted by GWguy

BTW, I use a Gillette M3 Power... doesn't bog down or get intimidated...

I second this...