Strange MD Laws

[Lilly]

Strange Maryland Laws

In Baltimore, it is illegal to wash or scrub sinks, no matter how dirty they get.
Every person who has bowled since 1833 may be fined $2 for each offense.
In Halethorpe, it is illegal to kiss for more than one second.
It's illegal to mistreat oysters.
It's illegal to play Randy Newman's "Short People" on the radio.

D.C.

The only acceptable sexual position in Washington D.C. is the missionary-style position. Any other sexual position is considered illegal


Here is the link if you want to check into my reputable source - definately check out the other states though!

[otter (Premo)]

Originally posted by Lilly
Strange Maryland Laws

It's illegal to play Randy Newman's "Short People" on the radio.

Hmmmm, guess Babs had something to do with that one..

[watercolor]

I have heard of some of these. That is so ridiculous!

Some of them are rather stupid. Cause personally missionary is boring to me...

[Warron]

Here's another really good site if you like this kind of stuff.

http://www.dumblaws.com/

It's illegal to take a lion to the movies in Baltimore. It seems like you can't take them anywhere these days.

[watercolor]

Yea I know. What in the world?

"Shhhhh Kitty, I told you that you would go back to the zoo if you werent quite, I will let you loose to mawl after this scene is over. Just dont get my popcorn messy"

[Doc]

Most of the laws you quoted sound like local ordinances. It's not too surprising to see weird stuff show up there. But if you <i>really</i> want a good scare, have a look at <a href="http://198.187.128.12/maryland/lpext.dll?f=templates&fn=fs-main.htm&2.0">the Maryland State Code </a> where you can find the following:

Maryland Code, article 27, SS554:
================================
Every person who is convicted of taking into his or her mouth the sexual organ of any other person or animal, or who shall be convicted of placing his or her sexual organ in the mouth of any other person or animal, or who shall be convicted of committing any other unnatural or perverted sexual practice with any other person or animal, shall be fined not more than one thousand dollars ($1,000.00), or be imprisoned in jail or in the house of correction or in the penitentiary for a period not exceeding ten years, or shall be both fined and imprisoned within the limits above prescribed in the discretion of the court.

And in any indictment for the commission of any of the acts, hereby declared to be offenses, it shall not be necessary to set forth the particular unnatural or perverted sexual practice with the commission of which the defendant may be charged, nor to set forth the particular manner in which said unnatural or perverted sexual practice was committed, but it shall be sufficient if the indictment set forth that the defendant committed a certain unnatural and perverted sexual practice with a person or animal, as the case may be.
=====================================

That's right kids, <b>blowjobs = jail</b> according to the letter of the law. And then there's this:

Maryland Code, article 27, SS20:
==================================
If any person, by writing or speaking, shall blaspheme or curse God, or shall write or utter any profane words of and concerning our Saviour Jesus Christ, or of and concerning the Trinity, or any of the persons thereof, he shall on conviction be fined not more than one hundred dollars, or imprisoned not more than six months, or both fined and imprisoned as aforesaid, at the discretion of the court.
==================================

Well, Jesus H. Christ on a bike, that's a dopey law! [Oh dear, now I'm guilty. Hope they don't find out about that BJ I got the other night...]

Defacing the flag will you get you a thousand dollar fine (Article 27, SS85), but adultery will only get you fined ten bucks (Article 27, SS3). At least they're smart enough to ban fortune telling (Article 27, SS158) in many places--finable by $100 (though presumably a psychic would see that coming).

And hey, they've repealed the sections dealing with:
<ul>
<li>Passing off margarine as butter (Article 27, SSs164-168)
<li>The rental of electric storage batteries (Article 27, SSs176-180)
<li>The mixing of other flour with wheat flour (Article 27, SS213),
<li>Manufacture of deleterious candy and cakes (Article 27, SSs269-272),
<li>Sale of condensed milk (Article 27, SSs274-275)
<li>Spitting on cars (Article 27, SS320)
<li>Sabbath-breaking (including working, playing baseball, bowling, watching movies, and washing cars on Sunday) (Article 27, SSs492-534)
</ul>
Also repealed is a section entitled, "Persons deemed rogues and vagabonds" and "Persons deemed tramps." So at least there's been some effort to drag MD into the 21st (well, maybe 20th) century.

And for your information, yes I was bored one day, and decided to cruise through the Code to see how many stupid laws I could find.

[Kyle (Premo)]

Damn Doc... Erase that post! This could get around and a lot of women might read it! :eek:

What were you thinking man?

[jazz lady (Premo)]

But it's also a way out for the guys, too - I know how MUCH you guys love to do it!

[jazz lady (Premo)]

Every person who is convicted of taking into his or her mouth the sexual organ of any other person or animal, or who shall be convicted of placing his or her sexual organ in the mouth of any other person or animal, or who shall be convicted of committing any other unnatural or perverted sexual practice with any other person or animal, ...

At least the barnyards will be protected... ewww....

[Lilly]

Originally posted by Doc
who shall be convicted of committing any other unnatural or perverted sexual practice with any other person

I want to know whose judgement is relied on as far as "unnatural and perverted" . . . . isn't that a matter of opinion?
I want to know how much the guy gets paid to sit in the back room and watch pornos all day saying "Now do to her flexibility that does seem a bit unnatural - but I wouldn't go as far as to say perverted . . . oh wait . . . now what's she doing . . . oh yeah that is definitely illegal!"