how not to write a resume

[raindrop]

These are actual quotes from resumes...
You gotta wonder how some people EVER get a job!







"I have lurnt Word Perfect 6.0 computor and spreasheet progroms."

"Am a perfectionist and rarely if if ever forget details."

"It's best for employers that I not work with people."

"Wholly responsible for two (2) failed financial institutions."

"Failed bar exam with relatively high grades."

"Reason for leaving last job: maturity leave."
"Let's meet, so you can 'Ooh' and 'Aah' over my experience."

"I was working for my mom until she decided to move."

"Received a plague for Salesperson of the Year."

"I am loyal to my employer at all costs. Please feel free to respond to my resume on my office voice mail."

"Marital status: often. Children: various."

"Note: Please don't miscontrue my 14 jobs as 'job-hopping'. I have never quit a job."

"My goal is to be a meteorologist. But since I possess no training in meteorology, I suppose I should try stock brokerage."

"I have become completely paranoid, trusting no one and absolutely nothing.

"Finished eighth in my class of ten."

"Personal interests: donating blood. Fourteen gallons so far."

Reason for leaving last job: They insisted that all employees get to work by 8:45 am every morning. Could not work under those conditions.

"Instrumental in ruining entire operation for a Midwest chain store."

"I procrastinate, especially when the task is unpleasant."

"The company made me a scapegoat, just like my three previous employers."

"References: none. I've left a path of destruction behind me."

[tikipirate]

Good... But this will always reign supreme... Heck, I wish I could hire him/her...or vice-versa!

[willie]

It's called, satisfying requirements for unemployment benefits.

[SamSpade]

Originally Posted by tikipirate

Good... But this will always reign supreme... Heck, I wish I could hire him/her...or vice-versa!

Canadian. He probably works for the government, now.