Ok. Help please!!!

[red_explorer]

So, I had finally gotten up the nerve to start talking to someone-the first someone since my husband died- and I think I really screwed it up last night.

We finally met over the weekend, had a great time, went to church together, explored near his area, and laughed a lot. He called me three times on the way home to see how my trip was progressing. And he said he would come visit this weekend maybe. Now Sunday, I didn't really talk to him, although I wanted to. I knew he had to work, and he was not feeling well. Monday, I called to see how he was feeling and he was miserable. Yesterday, I called mid day, and he was still feeling bad. Last night, I had a really bad night. I decided there was a lot of stress building up to what would have been my wedding anniversary, and it seemed like there were reminders everywhere. And after work, I went home and started drinking. I don't usually drink alone because it scares me. Anyway, I was really lonely and started calling friends. Noone was home or answered cells or homes. So I called him. I don't think I said anything too horrible to him, and I told him I really didn't want to call him and lay this on his shoulders, (even though he has done the same to me), but I was really upset on the phone. He told me a couple of jokes, and we laughed some. He also said that maybe I wasn't ready to date someone, that there was still a lot I had to go through, but that he wasn't rejecting me. The one thing I do remember telling him is the truth, that I wanted to hug him while we were out the other night, but was afraid to cross a line (we said we were starting as friends and see where things go). His comment was that I had set the boundaries, and it was up to me. He told me to call back in an hour. I did, and we talked for a couple of minutes and he said he was waiting for a call from his kids, and to send him a message this morning letting him know I was ok. I did, along with a couple of other emails, and haven't heard anything all day.

I am so confused and don't know what to do. Do I call him, or did I really screw up?

[toppick08 (Premo)]

Call him.

[SoMDGirl42 (Premo)]

Originally Posted by red_explorer

So, I had finally gotten up the nerve to start talking to someone-the first someone since my husband died- and I think I really screwed it up last night.

We finally met over the weekend, had a great time, went to church together, explored near his area, and laughed a lot. He called me three times on the way home to see how my trip was progressing. And he said he would come visit this weekend maybe. Now Sunday, I didn't really talk to him, although I wanted to. I knew he had to work, and he was not feeling well. Monday, I called to see how he was feeling and he was miserable. Yesterday, I called mid day, and he was still feeling bad. Last night, I had a really bad night. I decided there was a lot of stress building up to what would have been my wedding anniversary, and it seemed like there were reminders everywhere. And after work, I went home and started drinking. I don't usually drink alone because it scares me. Anyway, I was really lonely and started calling friends. Noone was home or answered cells or homes. So I called him. I don't think I said anything too horrible to him, and I told him I really didn't want to call him and lay this on his shoulders, (even though he has done the same to me), but I was really upset on the phone. He told me a couple of jokes, and we laughed some. He also said that maybe I wasn't ready to date someone, that there was still a lot I had to go through, but that he wasn't rejecting me. The one thing I do remember telling him is the truth, that I wanted to hug him while we were out the other night, but was afraid to cross a line (we said we were starting as friends and see where things go). His comment was that I had set the boundaries, and it was up to me. He told me to call back in an hour. I did, and we talked for a couple of minutes and he said he was waiting for a call from his kids, and to send him a message this morning letting him know I was ok. I did, along with a couple of other emails, and haven't heard anything all day.

I am so confused and don't know what to do. Do I call him, or did I really screw up?

Drunk dialing I hate when people do that. Don't call anymore, the ball is now in his court to call you since you already sent several emails today.

[toppick08 (Premo)]

Originally Posted by SoMDGirl42

Drunk dialing I hate when people do that. Don't call anymore, the ball is now in his court to call you since you already sent several emails today.

e-mails are overrated...

[red_explorer]

One of the emails was the one he requested and the other was an update on a friend that we had both been praying for.

[lovinmaryland]

Originally Posted by red_explorer

So, I had finally gotten up the nerve to start talking to someone-the first someone since my husband died- and I think I really screwed it up last night.

We finally met over the weekend, had a great time, went to church together, explored near his area, and laughed a lot. He called me three times on the way home to see how my trip was progressing. And he said he would come visit this weekend maybe. Now Sunday, I didn't really talk to him, although I wanted to. I knew he had to work, and he was not feeling well. Monday, I called to see how he was feeling and he was miserable. Yesterday, I called mid day, and he was still feeling bad. Last night, I had a really bad night. I decided there was a lot of stress building up to what would have been my wedding anniversary, and it seemed like there were reminders everywhere. And after work, I went home and started drinking. I don't usually drink alone because it scares me. Anyway, I was really lonely and started calling friends. Noone was home or answered cells or homes. So I called him. I don't think I said anything too horrible to him, and I told him I really didn't want to call him and lay this on his shoulders, (even though he has done the same to me), but I was really upset on the phone. He told me a couple of jokes, and we laughed some. He also said that maybe I wasn't ready to date someone, that there was still a lot I had to go through, but that he wasn't rejecting me. The one thing I do remember telling him is the truth, that I wanted to hug him while we were out the other night, but was afraid to cross a line (we said we were starting as friends and see where things go). His comment was that I had set the boundaries, and it was up to me. He told me to call back in an hour. I did, and we talked for a couple of minutes and he said he was waiting for a call from his kids, and to send him a message this morning letting him know I was ok. I did, along with a couple of other emails, and haven't heard anything all day.

I am so confused and don't know what to do. Do I call him, or did I really screw up?

No you didnt screw up

[vraiblonde]

Originally Posted by red_explorer

Do I call him, or did I really screw up?

Call him and thank him for being supportive while you were having your meltdown. He sounds like a nice guy.

[DangerousCurves]

You've done enough already...anything more might cause him to think you're a stalker. May I suggest a good therapist for dealing with your husband's death and not someone you've just met? Give a relationship time for those type of discussions. Good luck hon...

[SoMDGirl42 (Premo)]

Originally Posted by toppick08

e-mails are overrated...

I agree, however according to her post, his request was to send a message in the morning letting him know she was ok. He has also been sick and may not want to be bothered by someone drunk dialing or even making small talk. I still say give him a chance to reply.

[Kain99]

Rule number one.... NEVER talk about painful old relationships.