Say a prayer for hubby

[belvak (Premo)]

Paso, thanks for the recent update. My thoughts and prayers are still with you and Bill! Keep on hanging in there and remember there are lots of us out here thinking of you!

[Nanny Pam (Premo)]

Good morning, Paso!!

[CalvertNewbie]

Originally Posted by backagain39

Pasofever you can not physically, emotionally or mentally take care of your husband and your mom at the same time. I understand that you want to respect your FILs wishes but unless he wants to come over every day and help you with the bed changing and the baths then I say you do what you need to do for you. Believe me I have been there done that.......I covered every angle, every option......your husband will be better off in a care facility....I know you will have guilt about this but making yourself sick trying to take care of two is not right either. You do what is right for you and don't worry about the relatives.....in time that takes care of itself. I wish you all the best. My best advice to you is to look into getting your husband's social security checks, he is disabled and it will help you with the bills. This is not a handout he worked for that money.

This is really great advice. You can't put yourself in an early grave to make your FIL happy. I can't imagine having both your Mom and Bill home, with you being the sole caregiver with little assistance. You really do need to figure out what's best for you when that time comes and remain strong, regardless if your FIL is happy with your decision or not. He'll understand, it just may take some time. I hope that Bill starts showing some real progress in the near future, to take some of this stress off of you.

Just remember that your family is in all of our thoughts & prayers. Take care of you, first & foremost.

[kwillia]

Originally Posted by CalvertNewbie

This is really great advice. You can't put yourself in an early grave to make your FIL happy. I can't imagine having both your Mom and Bill home, with you being the sole caregiver with little assistance. You really do need to figure out what's best for you when that time comes and remain strong, regardless if your FIL is happy with your decision or not. He'll understand, it just may take some time. I hope that Bill starts showing some real progress in the near future, to take some of this stress off of you.

Correct me if I'm wrong... but doesn't it cost the family each and every month to keep someone in a care facility...

[cattitude (Premo)]

Originally Posted by kwillia

Correct me if I'm wrong... but doesn't it cost the family each and every month to keep someone in a care facility...

Not necessarily.

[itsbob (Premo)]

I'm not familiar with a situation like this, but would it be a good idea to talk to a lawyer that specializes in things like SSI.. Long term care.. etc?

I don't know who to talk to, but I would think there is someone out there with a lot more knowledge than any of us has, that can help you find the money, and tell you different routes to take that would be in the best interest of him and you.

[cattitude (Premo)]

Originally Posted by itsbob

I'm not familiar with a situation like this, but would it be a good idea to talk to a lawyer that specializes in things like SSI.. Long term care.. etc?

I don't know who to talk to, but I would think there is someone out there with a lot more knowledge than any of us has, that can help you find the money, and tell you different routes to take that would be in the best interest of him and you.

No lawyer. Depending on his income and assets, he can qualify for long term care medical assistance. With his level of care being fairly significant, the amount of assets/income isn't as great as someone with a lesser level of care.

There is also a medical waiver for older adults (over 50) but the waiting list is long but it would pay to get him on the list now.

Paso should contact the St. Mary's Department of Social Services and the Health Department for more information. She has choices other than bringing him home and some are at no cost to her.

[CalvertNewbie]

Originally Posted by kwillia

Correct me if I'm wrong... but doesn't it cost the family each and every month to keep someone in a care facility...

Not in every case - it really depends on the individual's situation. There are often options to assist the family in times like this. I, of course, am no expert but I do know that there are other options worth looking into.

[KAT20619]

Prayers to you this day!

[ginwoman]

Paso, how are things going?