RIP George Carlin

[toppick08 (Premo)]

Originally Posted by Vince

Used to have a cassette tape of him in my car. Whenever I needed a laugh I'd just plug in the tape. The man was funny.

Tits for Tots...........

[oldman]

I had a small collection of his tapes. When my last wife and I were getting serious I took her up to see my Dad. As a test I put the Seven Dirty Words in during the trip. She didn't laugh - guess I should have taken the hint and not taken the next step.

[Baja28]

He said he spent hours one day watching this snail move one inch.












Then he picked it up and put it back where it started!

RIP you clown!

[Tonio]

One of my all-time favorites is where Carlin praised the unknown aphorist who said, "I would much rather have my children watch two people making love than two people trying to kill one another." Then he took it a step further, replacing the f-word for the k-word (kill) wherever he could.

I grew up knowing almost no Catholics, and Carlin's stories of Catholic school were my first source of knowledge about the religion. In Heavy Mystery Time, students would ask the priest questions where simple sins were surrounded with the most bizarre circumstances you could imagine. "So Faddah, suppose that you didn't make your Easter duties, and it's Pentecost Sunday, the last day. And you're on a ship at sea, and the chaplain goes into a coma. But you wanted to receive. And then it's Monday, too late. But then you cross the International Date Line..."

An all-time classic is his Separation of Church and State prayer, which he performed on SNL 1984:

George Carlin's Monologue

[baileydog]

Originally Posted by Baja28

He said he spent hours one day watching this snail move one inch.










Then he picked it up and put it back where it started!

RIP you clown!

[Larry Gude (Premo)]

..truly lost a national treasure;


YouTube - George Carlin on Language

This is him at his best!

[canuk woman]

Originally Posted by morningbell

Comedian George Carlin Dies @ Age 71

He will be missed.



"Be excellent to eachother"
George Carlin as "Rufus" in Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure

That really came out of nowhere I always thought he was in his mid-late 50's. I wonder what are those 7 things you can't say on tv

[Christy]

My most favorite George Carlin monologue. :sigh:

Something else I'm getting tired of in this country is all this stupid talkI have to listen to about children. That's all you hear about anymore,children: "Help the children, save the children, protect the children."

Youknow what I say? #### the children!They're getting entirely too much attention. And I know what some of you arethinking: " Jesus, he's not going to attack children, is he?" Yes he is!He's going to attack children. And remember, this is Mr. Conductor talking;I know what I'm talking about.

And I also know that all you boring single dads and working moms, who thinkyou're such ####ing heros, aren't gonna like this, but somebody's gotta tell you for your own good: your children are overrated and overvalued, andyou've turned them into little cult objects. You have a child fetish, andit's not healthy. And don't give me all that weak ####, "Well, I love mychildren." #### you! Everybody loves their children; it doesn't make youspecial.
John Wayne Gacy loved his children. Yes, he did. That's notwhat I'm talking about.

What I'm talking about is this constant, mindless yammering in the media, this neurotic fixation that suggests that somehow everything--everything--has to revolve around the lives of children. It's completely out of balance. Listen, there are a couple of things about kids you have to remember.

First of all, they're not all cute. In fact, if you look at 'em real close, most of them are rather unpleasant looking. And a lot of them don't smell too good either. The little ones in particular seem to have a kind of urine and sour-milk combination that I don't care for at all. Stay with me on this folks, the sooner you face it the better off your going to be.

Second, premise: not all chidren are smart and clever. Got that? Kids are like any other group of people: a few winners, a whole lot of losers! This country is filled with loser kids who simply aren't going anywhere! And there's nothing you can do about it, folks. Nothing! You can't save them all. You can't do it. You gotta let 'em go; you gotta cut 'em loose; you gotta stop over-protecting them, because your making 'em too soft. Today's kids are way too soft.

For one thing, there's too much emphasis on safety and safety equipment: childproof medicine bottles,fireproof pajamas, child restraints, car seats. And helmets! Bicycle,baseball, skateboard, scooter helmets. Kids have to wear helmets now for everything but jerking off. Grown-ups have taken all the fun out of being a kid.

What's happened is, these baby boomers, these soft, fruity babyboomers, have raised an entire generation of soft, fruity kids who aren'teven allowed hazardous toys, for Chrissakes! What ever happened to natural selection? Survival of the fittest? The kid who swallows too many marbles doesn't grow up to have kids of his own. Simple stuff. Nature knows best!

Another bunch of ignorant bull#### about your children: school uniforms. Badtheory! The idea that if kids wear uniforms to school, it helps keep order. Hey! Don't these schools do enough damage makin' all these children think alike? Now they're gonna get 'em to look alike, too? And it's not even a new idea; I first saw it in old newsreels from the 1930s, but it was hard to understand, because the narration was in German! But the uniforms looked beautiful. And the children did everything they were told and never questioned authority. Gee, I wonder why someone would want to put our children in uniforms? Can't imagine.

And one more item about children: this superstitous nonsense of blaming tobacco companies for kids who smoke. Listen! Kids don't smoke because a camel in sunglasses tells them to. They smoke for the same reasons adults do, because it's an enjoyable activity that relieves anxiety and depression.And you'd be anxious and depressed too if you had to put up with these pathetic, insecure, yuppie parents who enroll you in college before you've figured out which side of the playpen smells the worst and then fill you with Ritalin to get you in a mood they approve of, and drag you all overtown in search of empty, meaningless structure: Little League, Cub Scouts,swimming, soccer, karate, piano, bagpipes, watercolors, witchcraft, glassblowing, and dildo practice. It's absurd.

They even have "play dates",for Christ sake! Playing is now done by appointment! But it's true. A lot of these striving, and parents are burning their kids out on structure. I thinkwhat every child needs and ought to have every day is two hours ofdaydreaming. Plain old day dreaming.Turn off the internet, the CD-ROMS, and the computer games and let themstare at a tree for a couple of hours. Every now and then they actually comeup with one of their own ideas.

You want to know how to help your kids? Leave them the #### alone.

[RoseRed (Premo)]

Originally Posted by Christy

My most favorite George Carlin monologue. :sigh:

[PulseStart]

Originally Posted by MMDad

goodbye, Mr. Conductor.

Few people that I talked to today knew that, However I watched the evening liberal news tonight and they only showed of his liberal side. Carlin was a lib, allot of his comedy was also right...