Every movie scheduled for release in 2004 looks like 90% chance of SUCK

[Danzig]

ANOTHER year, another 3 billion movies set to fight for space in the multiplexes.



Odds are you are likely to see up to 105 new releases, most of which will be heavily hyped.

Whether it's a high-profile film such as "Shrek 2" or "Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban" or one with a big-name star such as Tom Hanks, Nicole Kidman, Halle Berry or up-and-comer Will Ferrell, something will catch your eye and make you want to pony up $9.50.


To help you pre-sort and plan ahead, here is a look at a cluster of films scheduled to come out in 2004.


Some do not yet have Bay Area release dates. Others are likely to open earlier or later than currently scheduled. Thus the caveat: All dates are subject to change.

2004 movie openings

Jan. 30

"The Big Bounce" -- Owen Wilson and Morgan Freeman take part in a caper comedy based on a novel by "Get Shorty" writer Elmore Leonard. Wilson plays a shady drifter who goes to Hawaii and gets involved with a conniving real estate developer, a slick judge and a beautiful woman who likes to break the law. Gary Sinise and Sara Foster co-star. George Armitage directs.


"The Perfect Score" -- Scarlett Johansson follows up "Lost in Translation" with an ensemble piece about stubborn high school students who decide to steal an SAT test because they want to decide their own fates. Or something like that. Erika Christensen gets top billing in a cast that also includes Chris Evans and Bryan Greenberg.


"You Got Served" -- Members of the top street-dancing crew in town must develop new moves and overcome personal rivalries to compete with another hotshot group that tells them, "This town ain't big enough for both of us." Marques Houston, Omarion and J Boog star. Christopher B. Stokes directs.

Feb. 6


"Barbershop 2: Back in Business" -- The old neighborhood barbershop has a close shave when a rival Happy Cutz franchise opens across the street. Ice Cube, Cedric the Entertainer and director Kevin Rooney return from the affable original. Queen Latifah adds her personality to the antics.


"Miracle" -- Kurt Russell portrays Herb Brooks, coach of the ungainly 1980 U.S. Olympic hockey team that scored the upset of upsets by defeating the

Russians. Patricia Clarkson and Noah Emmerich co-star. Gavin O'Connor directs.

Feb. 13


"50 First Dates" -- The comedy stars Drew Barrymore as a woman with no short-term memory and Adam Sandler as the guy who has to convince her each day that he's her boyfriend and that they're in love and lust. The trailer is very funny.

Feb. 20


"Against the Ropes" -- Originally scheduled for a 2003 release, this "fictionalized" biopic stars Meg Ryan as Jackie Kallen, the best female manager in boxing history. Omar Epps co-stars.


"Welcome to Mooseport" -- Handyman Ray Romano runs for mayor against former U.S. president Gene Hackman and tries to win the hand of Maura Tierney. Marcia Gay Harden co-stars in the comedy. Donald Petrie directs.

Feb. 25


"The Passion of the Christ" -- Director Mel Gibson relented and agreed to subtitle his controversial version of Christ's last hours, whose dialogue is done in Aramaic and Latin. Jim Caviezel of "Frequency" plays Jesus. Monica Bellucci is cast as Mary Magdalene.

Feb. 27


"Twisted" -- Philip Kaufman directs Ashley Judd, Samuel L. Jackson, Andy Garcia and David Strathairn in a suspense thriller about a detective investigating a series of murders where all of the victims turn out to be her old boyfriends. Turn and run if she starts coming on to you.

March 5


"Hidalgo" -- Once-legendary cowboy Viggo Mortensen takes his horse Hidalgo across the sea to take part in a 3,000-mile race across the Arabian desert in 1890. Based on a true the story, the adventure saga co-stars Omar Sharif. Joe Johnston directs.


"Starsky & Hutch" -- Based on the old TV series, Ben Stiller and Owen Wilson star as the title characters, mismatched big-city cops. Given the stars, they must be playing it for laughs. Snoop Dogg takes over for Antonio Fargas, whose son now plays for the Raiders, as their informant Huggy Bear.

March 12


"Agent Cody Banks 2: Destination London" -- Teenage CIA agent Frankie Muniz, a hit in the original, takes up the violin and goes undercover at a London music boarding school while trying to track down his turncoat former trainer. Anthony Anderson plays his new handler.


"Secret Window" -- Johnny Depp gets top billing in this adaptation of a Stephen King novel about a divorced author stalked by a psychotic stranger who accuses him of plagiarism. Maria Bello, Ving Rhames, Charles S. Dutton and John Turturro co-star. David Koepp of "Stir of Echoes" directs.


"Spartan" -- Career military officer Val Kilmer tries to find the missing daughter of a high-ranking government official. Of course, he runs into a white slavery ring and other unexpected complications. Derek Luke and William H. Macy co-star. David Mamet directs and wrote the screenplay.

March 19


"Dawn of the Dead" -- Ving Rhames and Sarah Polley try to hold off the flesh-eating undead -- don't we all? -- in this gory remake from director Zack Snyder.


"Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind" -- Written by Charlie Kaufman of "Adaptation" and "Being John Malkovich," the comedy stars Jim Carrey and Kate Winslet as two people who conclude that having the memories of their relationship erased is the only way they will be able to stay together. Why didn't I think of that? Elijah Wood, Kirsten Dunst, Tom Wilkinson and Mark Ruffalo co-star. Michel Gondry directs.


"Jersey Girl" -- Kevin Smith directs Ben Affleck and Jennifer Lopez. Do you need to know more? OK. An out-of-work publicist living with his father gets an emotional boost from his new wife and her 6-year-old daughter. Liv Tyler, George Carlin and Jason Biggs co-star.


"Taking Lives" -- So much for Lara Croft. This time, Angelina Jolie plays an FBI profiler asked to help French Canadian police capture a serial killer who assumes the identity of each of his victims. Ethan Hawke and Kiefer Sutherland co-star. D.J. Caruso directs.

March 26


"The Ladykillers" -- Joel and Ethan Coen direct Tom Hanks. That should pull you through the turnstile. Hanks co-stars with Irma P. Hall and Marlon Wayans in a remake of the classy 1955 Alec Guinness-Peter Sellers comedy. A seemingly proper professor puts together a gang of supposed specialists to pull off a mighty heist. But first the crooks need to dig through the root cellar of a church-going elderly lady who proves

wilier than they are.

April 2


"Dogville" -- Lars von Trier directs Nicole Kidman, Harriet Andersson, Paul Bettany and Lauren Bacall in a 1930s-era drama artfully shot entirely in studio with a minimum of props. On the run from mobsters, Kidman's character hides out in an isolated town whose residents at first embrace her, with her agreeing to work for them. Complications arrise when the townies renege on the deal.


"Envy" -- Ben Stiller and Jack Black play neighbors and best buddies who undergo a nasty split when one begs out of a get-rich-quick scheme involving Vapoorizer, a spray that makes material such as dog manure vanish. Christopher Walken and Rachel Weisz co-star in the comedy. Barry Levinson directs.


"Home on the Range" -- Disney's animated musical comedy tells what happens when a bunch of farm animals band together to stop an outlaw from taking their farm. Roseanne Barr, Judi Dench and Jennifer Tilly voice the cows. Will Finn and John Sanford direct.

April 7


"Johnson Family Vacation" -- Cedric The Entertainer, Bow Wow, Vanessa Williams and Steve Harvey engage in a "National Lampoon"-like story about a bickering family whose members travel across the country to their annual unappealing family reunion in Missouri. Christopher Erskin directs.

April 9


"The Alamo" -- This film was supposed to come out last year. Guess the Texans and Davy Crockett's men held off Santa Ana longer than we recalled. Dennis Quaid plays Sam Houston, Jason Patric is Jim Bowie and Billy Bob Thornton has a go at Crockett. John Sayles co-wrote the script. John Lee Hancock directs.

April 16


"Connie & Carla" -- Nia Vardalos of "My Big Fat Greek Wedding" stars with Toni Collette in what sounds like an odd homage to "Some Like It Hot." The two play Chicago dinner-theater performers who witness a mob hit, go on the lam to L.A., and reinvent themselves as drag queens. David Duchovny plays the stud muffin who complicates their lives. Michael Lembeck of "The Santa Clause 2" directs.

[Danzig]

"Kill Bill, Vol. 2" -- April is too long to wait for the sequel to last year's imaginative, witty and extremely bloody martial-arts extravaganza from director Quentin Tarantino. Uma Thurman returns as the former hired killer out to dispatch the remaining assassins who tried to murder her on her wedding day. David Carradine and Daryl Hannah are among those on the side of evil.

April 23


"Man on Fire" -- Denzel Washington portrays a jaded former government operative who, as you might imagine, bonds with the child he agrees to protect from kidnappers. Dakota Fanning plays the young'un. Christopher Walken co-stars. Christopher Walken always co-stars. Tony Scott directs.


May 7


"Van Helsing" -- Hugh Jackman exchanges his Wolverine claws for a stake and other eclectic paraphernalia to play the title character, a 19th-century monster hunter who crosses paths with the Wolf Man, Frankenstein's monster, Kate Beckinsale and other evil characters during a mission to exterminate Count Dracula. Steve Sommers of the "Mummy" movies directs.

May 14


"Mr. 3000" -- Bernie Mac stars as a retired pro baseball player riding on the glory of his 3,000 hits. At 47, when he learns he fell short of that total, he decides to put on a uniform and try to make up the difference. Charles Stone III directs.


"Troy" -- Wolfgang Petersen directs Brad Pitt, Eric "The Hulk" Bana, Peter O'Toole and "Lord of the Rings" alumni Orlando Bloom and Sean Bean in the epic story of the Trojan War. Let's see: Helen's married to a Greek king. Paris falls for her anyway, and steals her away to Troy. War breaks out and lasts a long time, until the Trojans learn the hard way that you should beware of Greeks bearing gifts. Pitt plays Achilles. Pitt plays Achilles? Oh, well.

May 21


"Shrek 2" -- Princess Finona's parents go through conniptions when they see their happily married daughter and her hubby Shrek as the ogres they really are. So they enlist a fairy godmother to set things right. Mike Myers, Eddie Murphy and Cameron Diaz again voice the leads in the computer-animated sequel. Also heard are Antonio Banderas, John Cleese and Julie Andrews.

bound and other feline enhancements. Benjamin Bratt and Sharon Stone are among those dazzled by her skills. Pitof, a Frenchman who, like his subject, uses only one name, directs.


"The Village" -- M. Night Shyamalan, director of "The Sixth Sense" and "Signs," casts Joaquin Phoenix, Adrien Brody, William Hurt and Sigourney Weaver in this unsettling 1897 drama about an isolated village community bordered by woods that contain creatures who are less than human and greater than squirrels.

Aug. 6


"Alien vs. Predator" -- Paul Anderson directs Sanaa Lathan and Raoul Bova in tale of battling otherworldly monsters. Hmm, the stomach-popping alien is bigger and drools more. But the Predator can be invisible and attack from any angle. Freddy Krueger could take them both.


"Collateral" -- Tom Cruise visits the dark side as a hired killer cruising L.A. for his prey. Jamie Foxx, Jada Pinkett Smith, Peter Berg and Mark Ruffalo play some of the characters he deals with in this crime thriller from director Michael Mann of "Ali."

Aug. 13


"Blade: Trinity" -- Half human, half vampire, Wesley Snipes returns to represent the forces of good against the forces of evil, which may put the vampires in control of the world. Would that mean more reality TV? Fight'em, Blade. Don't let that happen. Kris Kristofferson and Parker Posey co-star. David S. Goyer directs.


"Yu-Gi-Oh!" -- Kids will want to see Yugi and his pals from the popular animated series get hooked on the new game Dual Monsters.

Sept. 17


"Constantine" -- Keanu Reeves, Rachel Weisz, Shia LeBeouf and Tilda Swinton star in an adaptation of the DC-Vertigo comic book about an occultist who deals with demons and angels in Los Angeles -- no surprise there -- when he tries to help a policewoman figure out why her twin sister committed suicide. Francis Lawrence directs.

Sept. 24


"The Forgotten" -- Julianne Moore, Gary Sinise and Dominic West are cast in a mind-altering story about grieving mother trying to copy with the death of her 8-year-old son. When she learns she never had a son and her faulty memory created the misconception, she sets out to prove she's not nuts. Good luck to her.


"Wimbledon" -- A British tennis pro who has fallen from the ranks tries to get back in the swing of things in time for Wimbledon with an assist from a hot up-and-comer on the women's circuit. Kirsten Dunst and Paul Bettany try to avoid love. Richard Loncraine directs.

Nov. 5


"Alexander" -- Oliver Stone directs Colin Farrell, Angelina Jolie, Anthony Hopkins, Val Kilmer and Rosario Dawson in the saga of Alexander the Great, the legendary Greek who controlled the greatest empire in the world by age 32. The story alternates between past and present to provide insights into the man who would be king of the world. Or was that James Cameron?


"The Incredibles" -- An insurance adjuster and his wife were once superheroes known as Mr. Incredible and Elastigirl, then they were forced to turn in their capes. Normalcy makes them antsy until evil again arises. Pixar's computer-animated adventure features the voices of Craig T. Nelson, Holly Hunter, Samuel L. Jackson, John Ratzenberger and Sarah Vowell. Brad Bird of "The Iron Giant" directs.

Nov. 10


"The Polar Express" -- Tom Hanks lends his voice to this computer-generated animated fantasy based on the Chris Van Allsburg children's book about a boy who learns about life during a train ride to the North Pole. Robert Zemeckis directs.

Nov. 12


"After the Sunset" -- Pierce Brosnan, Salma Hayek and Woody Harrelson star in a cat-and-mouse thriller about a retired master thief and the FBI agent who wants to make sure he's retired. Brett Ratner directs.

Nov. 19


"The Interpreter" -- All Nicole, all the time. The perfect Thanksgiving appetizer, Kidman stars as a South African U.N. interpreter who struggles to stay alive after she accidentally hears a late-night chat that could bring down a government. Sydney Pollack directs.

Dec. 10


"Ocean's Twelve" -- The boys are back and director Steven Soderbergh once again keeps them in line. Affable crooks Brad Pitt, George Clooney, Matt Damon, Bernie Mac and Don Cheadle try to get the best of a gorgeous FBI agent.

Dec. 17


"The Aviator" -- Before his fingernails grew from here to eternity, Howard Hughes was a handsome billionaire industrialist involved with planes, movies and beautiful women. Martin Scorsese slides Leonardo DiCaprio into the role of studly young Hughes dealing with all of that, plus the obsessive-compulsive disorder that led to his self-imposed isolation. Caught in his wake from the late 1920s through the 1940s were stars such as Ava Gardner, Errol Flynn and Katharine Hepburn, played here, respectively, by Kate Beckinsale, Jude Law and Cate Blanchett.


"Cinderella Man" -- Ron Howard directs Russell Crowe and Rene Zellweger in a look at legendary Depression-era boxer Jim Braddock, whose up-and-down career takes him through the Depression. He works at odd jobs to feed his family before attempting a comeback and becoming the supreme underdog and flag-carrier for the masses -- just like Seabiscuit.


"Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events" -- Jim Carrey is cast as Count Olaf, a relative who plans to rob the three orphaned sibs of their fortune. Based on the popular children's-book series. Meryl Streep and Jude Law co-star.

Dec. 22


"Meet the Fockers" -- Robert De Niro, Ben Stiller and Teri Polo get back together in the sequel to the comedy "Meet the Parents." This time, her parents travel to Detroit to meet his before the marriage.

Dec. 25


"Bridget Jones: The Edge of Reason" -- Rene Zellweger, Hugh Grant and Colin Firth are back in action in the comic sequel that takes place four weeks after the original and has Bridget dealing with relationship problems, a new boss and a bad vacation. Jim Broadbent and Gemma Jones co-star.

[Danzig]

Here are some other noteworthy 2004 movies whose release dates are as yet undetermined.


"Andrew Lloyd Webber's The Phantom of the Opera" -- Joel Schumacher directs Gerard Butler, Emmy Rossum, Simon Callow, Miranda Richardson and Minnie Driver in the musical about the love-struck, disfigured musician who haunts the catacombs underneath the Paris Opera.


"Be Cool" -- "Get Shorty" was a coolly dark comedy about a mobster who becomes a Hollywood producer. The sequel, also adapted from an Elmore Leonard novel, stars John Travolta as Chili Palmer. This time, the mobster who went Hollywood enters the music business.


"Birth" -- Just before she's about to remarry, a woman played by Nicole Kidman meets a 10-year-old boy she believes is the reincarnation of her late hubby. Sure, why not?


"The Clearing" -- Robert Redford plays as a self-made tycoon held for ransom by a kidnapper played by Willem Dafoe. Helen Mirren plays the tycoon's wife, who suffers from the intense FBI investigation.


"Exorcist: The Beginning" -- The horror-movie prequel checks out the priest's first meeting with Satan in Africa after World War II. Wonder if they discussed California politics.


"I (Heart) Huckabees" -- David O. Russell of "Three Kings" and "Spanking the Monkey" directs Dustin Hoffman, Isabelle Huppert, Jude Law, Jason Schwartzman, Lily Tomlin, Mark Wahlberg and Naomi Watts in an off-kilter comedy about two existential detectives who examine the life of a man experiencing a bizarre series of coincidences.


"Kinsey" -- Liam Neeson, Laura Linney, Chris O'Donnell, Peter Sarsgaard and John Lithgow star in the story of human-sexuality-research pioneer Alfred Kinsey. The story, which covers six decades, is directed by Bill Condon of "Chicago."


"The Life Aquatic" -- Bill Murray and Cate Blanchett team up in a comedy about a European oceanographer pursuing a legendary sea creature.


"The Manchurian Candidate" -- Jonathan Demme directs Denzel Washington, Meryl Streep and Liev Schreiber in a remake of the 1962 John Frankenheimer classic suspense drama about brain-washing and assassination. This update is set during and after the Gulf War instead of the Korean War.


"Shopgirl" -- Steve Martin stars in this adaptation of his novella about a disillusioned saleswoman who has to decide between two suitors. Claire Danes and Jason Schwartzman also star. Anand Tucker directs.


"The Stepford Wives" -- Frank Oz directs Nicole Kidman, Matthew Broderick, Bette Midler and Christopher Walken in a remake of the spooky 1975 drama about

upper-middle-class women whose husbands become ecstatic when they don aprons and stop thinking for themselves.


"Surviving Christmas" -- Ben Affleck pays the people living in his childhood home to pretend to be his family so he can realize his dream of having an old-fashioned family Christmas. The reluctant parents are played by James Gandolfini and Catherine O'Hara

[BuddyLee (Premo)]

i cant wait for Dawn of the Dead!!! im such the zombie horror movie freak!

[watercolor]

I am looking forward to seeing Troy (because my boyfriend is in it. ) and because it looks interesting and Harry Potter of course.


I am also interested in seeing The Passion of the Christ...although I thought it was just called "The Passion". But.. I could be wrong.

[jazz lady (Premo)]

Originally Posted by Danzig

"Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind" -- Written by Charlie Kaufman of "Adaptation" and "Being John Malkovich," the comedy stars Jim Carrey and Kate Winslet as two people who conclude that having the memories of their relationship erased is the only way they will be able to stay together. Why didn't I think of that? Elijah Wood, Kirsten Dunst, Tom Wilkinson and Mark Ruffalo co-star. Michel Gondry directs.

I just finished watching the movie. It was very hard to follow at first, but overall it was an excellent film.