'Whizzinator' Gets Texas Men in Trouble

[jazz lady (Premo)]

LUBBOCK, Texas - Some West Texas men on probation are in trouble again, this time for using the Whizzinator to help them pass court-ordered urinalysis tests.

In the past six months, five men on probation were caught using a realistic-looking prosthetic that dispenses synthetic, drug-free urine, Lubbock County sheriff's officials said. One was caught by an alert officer who heard something unusual in the restroom.

"A body part when it's up against a plastic cup isn't going to go 'clink,'" said Tom Madigan, interim assistant director of the Lubbock County adult probation office.

The device, reusable and available in five flesh colors, is sold by California-based Puck Technology for $150. A prosthetic penis is attached to an undergarment resembling a jock strap and connects to a pouch containing dehydrated urine. Water is added to the pouch and a heat pack can be attached to keep the urine close to body temperature.

Company owner Dennis Catalano has sold the device and one designed for women for about four years, mainly through an Internet site. He said what he does is legal.

"How people choose to use it is beyond our control," he said. "But we manufacture this and sell it for people who believe we still have a semblance of privacy in this country."

The five Lubbock men caught using the device will probably get their probation revoked and return to jail, said Dan Rowan, a probation office supervisor.

They also could face additional charges. Under Texas law, using a substance or device to try to falsify drug test results is a Class B misdemeanor, which carries a maximum penalty of 180 days in jail and a $2,000 fine.

Catalano isn't safe, either. Selling or making a device or substance intended to falsify urine test results is a Class A misdemeanor, with a maximum one-year jail term and $4,000 fine. Authorities haven't decided whether they will seek charges against the manufacturer.

In 2001, two San Antonio probationers caught using the Whizzinator were prosecuted and sentenced to 180 days in jail and fined $2,000, said Susan Reed, the Bexar County district attorney.

Reed considered pursuing charges against the company, but said she would have had difficulty showing that it sold the device in her jurisdiction.

What doesn't make sense, Rowan said, is that offenders sometime spend more on devices to beat the test than they spend on drugs.

"It seems they will stop at nothing," said Rowan, noting that sometimes offenders use their children's urine to try and pass tests. "They won't continue with their sobriety, and they'll exhaust any method possible to continue with their drug usage."

[Larry Gude (Premo)]

....your parole officer called with some good news and some bad news about your test. Whaddya want first?"

"Well, honey, give me the good news!"

"Yah passed yer test. Y'er good to go."

"The bad?"

"Y'er pregnant."