It takes a village etiquette

[itsbob (Premo)]

Originally Posted by vraiblonde

Morning, your kid is going to grow up to be a wimp #### punk if you don't butt your bubble mommy ass out.

Seriously.

He's already a whiny tattletale and that's not what successful adults are all about.

Snitches Get Stitches..

Fo Shizzle!

[MMDad (Premo)]

I'd say that "It takes a village" is the problem here. That whole philosophy is a cop out. It allows people who fail as parents to blame their "village."

It also makes people think that it is their responsibility to help raise all the other kids, even if they don't really know what they're doing.

It takes attentive parents and family. It takes a caring community. It does not take a "village" that raises your kid for you.

[poster]

Originally Posted by Queenofdenile1

Here is my view/opinion on this. Depending on how old your child is as to whether or not you step in. I don't completely agree that you sit back on sidelines while things are happening. That isn't parenting. By you stepping in is teaching your son what to do in matters of this nature. If you do nothing, he is likely to do nothing in the future. Then you have WIMPY PARENTS!!! You step in when it's necessary. Your child is coming to you for help because obviously he doesn't know what to do. Secondly, the other child (1st scenario) was ticked because your child was splashing him and instead of saying "Your splashing me", he didn't express himself and therefore your child didn't know the problem. Yeah, perhaps the child is a bully because it was just as easy for him to move. It's a pool and that what kids do. His mother should have stepped in and corrected her son.

As for the other scenario, if you have witnessed serious abuse and neglect to the neighbors pets, it is your duty to step in and call the Humane Society of your area. They will investigate to see if there is actual animal abuse. As for their child, your son shouldn't associate with him. The kid will eventually become a menace to society. He obviously has parent issues and probably suffers from neglect himself. The kid needs to understand that what he is doing is wrong and hurtful. He probably needs child counseling. While it's okay to feel empathy for this other kid, it is your duty to protect your child.

My advice, don't sit back on the sidelines. Your making your child WIMPY just by doing nothing. Too many parents out there not being parents and then people wonder why their kids become a menace to society. It's unfortunate but we can't save all of the kids. There are going to be more and you can't run away from them. If it gets out of hand, then pehaps more drastic measures need to happen but until then, just get a handle on it and do what you feel is necessary. Teach your child how to handle situations so he will know what to do when he becomes a Father one day.

Very good answer.

It was hard for my daughter to adjust to other kids that weren't raised like she was. I don't allow tattling, my standard answer is, "Are you bleeding, is someone dead? Then move away or play with something/someone else." You're child has learned to behave, now you have to teach him to remove himself from bad behavior of others.

As for the neighbors kid, kids will become a product of their environment. I wouldn't encourage play with him or allow your son to go to their house. I would make sure the parents know that he is mutialating animals, that's pretty serious abnormal behavior. I doubt they'll care but I'd tell'em anyway.

If he comes over, make him follow your rules and send him home if he doesn't. That includes lying, if you catch him call him out on it and send him packing. I've got one that comes over and misbehaves, I send him straight home with a clear explanation why and tell him we don't act like that here. It only took a couple of times and now it only happens on occation.

[nomoney]

Originally Posted by poster

, my standard answer is, "Are you bleeding, is someone dead? Then move away or play with something/someone else." .

(i usually add a "is something on fire" though )How is your son going to learn to deal with conflict when mommys not around?

[poster]

Originally Posted by nomoney

(i usually add a "is something on fire" though )How is your son going to learn to deal with conflict when mommys not around?

I'll have to add that to my list. Most of the time I only get out "Is something....." then I get the foot stomp and off she goes, she doesn't hang around for the rest.

[morningbell]

Originally Posted by poster

I'll have to add that to my list. Most of the time I only get out "Is something....." then I get the foot stomp and off she goes, she doesn't hang around for the rest.

I tell him "bleeding eyeball emergencies", in our house it covers all of the above mentioned. I can't stand tattling but he has gotten better about it. He is becoming more independent everyday and I think its just might be at a slower pace. He is not a product of daycare so school is a whole new experience for him as far as dealing with a group of kids.


I appreciate all the great suggestions, they are very helpful and I will be using them in the future.