To do or Not to do...

[jetmonkey]

Originally Posted by kris31280

My son's daycare created cards and gifts for the fathers for father's day.

Are you the only single mom at that daycare?

[kris31280 (Premo)]

Originally Posted by Radiant1

I realize your son is young yet but has he ever asked about his dad, and if so, what have you told him? If not, you're going to have to face that sooner or later anyway.

I would go with option #3, or as Kwillia said, hang it on the fridge like any other piece of artwork.

I've been thinking about what I was going to tell him for the last 3 years... since the day Kevin and I went kaput.

Rowan went through one phase where he kept trying to call my dad "Daddy", and he would correct him and go "No... Grandpa." My intial reaction was to say "You don't have one." Instead I'd say "He's not here."

I would expect within the next 6 months I'll need an answer to the question. There's gotta be a happy medium between telling him the truth of the situation without making his dad sound like the total ass he is. It's not Rowan's fault mommy and daddy aren't together, and so I've made it a point to never bash Kevin in Rowan's presence. Who knows, Kevin may some day decide to stop being a douche and actually want a relationship with his son.

[kris31280 (Premo)]

Originally Posted by jetmonkey

Are you the only single mom at that daycare?

I have no way of knowing. Instinct says probably not.

[poster]

At 3yrs old, I'm guessing, the child won't remember.
Keep it out of sight/out of mind for a little while then throw it away.

I'm surprised your daycare didn't catch this?
I'm assuming they know there's no father, so why not have him make a card with an alternate title?

[jetmonkey]

Originally Posted by kris31280

I have no way of knowing. Instinct says probably not.

If these forums are any indication, it seems pretty presumptuous for the provider to assume that this was a good idea

[vraiblonde]

Originally Posted by pixiegirl

You don't think grandpa would be kinda butt hurt over that.

I wouldn't think so - he'd probably like a handmade card better than a store bought one.

[Toxick]

Originally Posted by kris31280

So what do I do with the card/gift?

Do I:

1. Try to change the "daddy" on them to "Grandpa" and give them to grandpa?
2. Throw them away?

Combination of these two.

Toss the ones addressed to the sperm donor, and then get him to make a new card for gramp.

[Toxick]

Originally Posted by vraiblonde

I wouldn't think so - he'd probably like a handmade card better than a store bought one.

This is very true.

All the cards the kids have "bought" me over the years are stuck in a drawer somewhere, if I still have them at all.



All the stuff they've made for me is hanging up or on display in the cube I'm sitting in right now.

[kris31280 (Premo)]

Thanks for all the feedback (thus far). Last year my son was watched by my best friend/stay at home mom so I didn't run in to these snafus. (they needed the money, I needed to know my child was being watched by someone who loved him as much as I did.)

The angry bitter part of me wanted to send the card to him, hoping to make him feel like a jackass so he'd quit skipping out on the child support. It's probably the most selfish route because it does nothing but make me feel a little better and it just perpetuates the anger.

I'll have to unwrap the gift to see if the frame says "Daddy" specific anything. I know it's a popsicle stick picture frame with his picture in it.

And I can always have him make a new card for Grandpa.

[SShewbert]

Originally Posted by kris31280

I've been thinking about what I was going to tell him for the last 3 years... since the day Kevin and I went kaput.

Rowan went through one phase where he kept trying to call my dad "Daddy", and he would correct him and go "No... Grandpa." My intial reaction was to say "You don't have one." Instead I'd say "He's not here."

I would expect within the next 6 months I'll need an answer to the question. There's gotta be a happy medium between telling him the truth of the situation without making his dad sound like the total ass he is. It's not Rowan's fault mommy and daddy aren't together, and so I've made it a point to never bash Kevin in Rowan's presence. Who knows, Kevin may some day decide to stop being a douche and actually want a relationship with his son.

My dad left before I was born. I never heard from him for 14 years if my life. The whole time though my mom would take pics of me and send to him. She even let me write a letter. When I was about 13 she decided to send another pic. She asked me if I wanted to write a letter to him. I remember I wrote on the back of the picture how old I was at the time and things like that but no letter. I figured there was no point because I had never heard back from him before. This time he actually wrote back to me. A couple years after that he finally told the rest of his kids about me which I now keep in contact with them. I finally met him in person when I was 18 I believe. It was just after I had my first kid. Then I seen him once after that. I have talked to him on the phone a couple times to.

I dont recall what my mom used to tell me. I dont remember ever asking either. I just kinda knew he wasnt there and I guess not really worried. My mom never lied to me she told me he left. Maybe she just always did that and thats why I knew and never asked. She told me her side of the story and told me one day he could tell me his. Funny as it is growing up I always wanted to know his side. Now that I know him I dont care. People make mistakes. I look at it that at least now hes trying to make an effort to know me. He could have just always ignored me and never let me know the rest of my family but he didnt.

I hope everything works out for you and your son. Sounds like you are a great mom. I am sure there will never be a problem. Whatever you decide to do will be fine. He may be missing a father but it is the daddys loss not his, he has a great enough mom to make up for that.