Living with Parents at 27

[Hank]

Originally Posted by Save_a_Horse

Good Luck. She`s too worried about the next big rain storm floodin out back. Sawry, it was kinda funny.

Does the basement count, Lance? Do you have your own entrance?

[kwillia]

Originally Posted by vraiblonde

So when do you intend to go out on your own and stop being a dependent of some man? I mean, you're 40+ now - isn't it time?

You're being pretty insulting not only to young people who join the military, but to any young person who has to have a roommate in order to make ends meet. I'd think you would be applauding people doing what it takes to be independent.

For the record, my daughter didn't "shack up" until she was about to give birth to the guy's child (she was 22), and that was only at the insistence of both sets of parents and the guy himself. They married when their son was a year old. And even then, she paid at least half of all expenses, and was not "dependent" on him in any capacity.

My son was 22 when he got out of the military, which paid him for a job he did and housed him when he was in Korea and Iraq. Once he got out, at 22 mind you, he started his career, got married, bought a house. Since he was married and had a wife making good money, does that not count as "on his own" either?

My opinions aren't meant to be insulting. I have a 20 year old and a soon to be 18 year old. This is something I think about often.

I believe you are twisting my words. Someone out and starting a family of their own is not what I'm talking about and you know it.

[vraiblonde]

Originally Posted by kwillia

That is all I'm saying....but I think it takes longer to get to the point of being able to afford to move out now than when it did when we did it. And BTW the job market sucks so bad that even if they get a job it doesn't mean they keep it.. then what... they boomerang back home.

And, yes, Vrai, a person joining the military is successfully moving out on their own, but I don't consider that the same situation because they are being cared for by the military and won't be boomeranging back. This thread is about young adult children not being able to afford to move out as young as we did.

I'm curious where this is coming from. Young people move out of their parents' home every single day, most are not joining the military and many are not off to college. They get a job and a pack of roommates, and off they go.

It's not that times are any tougher these days than when I moved out (a couple weeks after I turned 18, hallelujah!), it's that kids have a sweet deal at home with a nice house, TVs, gaming systems, food, laundry taken care of, etc, etc. They can't maintain that standard of living on their own dime, so they don't. They don't want to make the trade-off in order to have their own place without Mom and Dad hanging around.

And then there are the families where having the adult child living at home works for everyone. I've never heard DR complain about having his son still living at home, and my understanding is that mAlice and hubby enjoy having Gurl home as well. There's no burning desire on either part for kid to move out.

Whatever works.

[Hank]

Originally Posted by vraiblonde

They get a job and a pack of roommates, and off they go.

^This

[vraiblonde]

Originally Posted by kwillia

My opinions aren't meant to be insulting. I have a 20 year old and a soon to be 18 year old. This is something I think about often.

I haven't seen either of your kids in years but, unless they've changed dramatically from the paths they were on, I think they'll be just fine and fully functioning. So don't worry - they'll be out of there soon.

[kwillia]

Originally Posted by vraiblonde

I haven't seen either of your kids in years but, unless they've changed dramatically from the paths they were on, I think they'll be just fine and fully functioning. So don't worry - they'll be out of there soon.

They are both on good paths... I guess to put it in perspective... my 20 year old left high school and went out of state to tech school successfully completing his program. He came back home... landed a job and just hit his 1 year of experience with that job. He just hit the 1 year experience mark and they love him... but he still can't afford to move out.

When he does move out I sure as hell don't expect him to have to live in a drug and scum infested neighborhood so that is why I'm thinking he will be moving out at an older age than whe me or my bro or sis did... none of which did college or the military... we fled the nest solely on work the way up the ladder jobs.

[kwillia]

BTW... when daughter goes off to college... I really don't think she's ever moving back in unless she has to kill time until she gets her security clearance.

[vraiblonde]

Originally Posted by kwillia

They are both on good paths... I guess to put it in perspective... my 20 year old left high school and went out of state to tech school successfully completing his program. He came back home... landed a job and just hit his 1 year of experience with that job. He just hit the 1 year experience mark and they love him... but he still can't afford to move out.

When he does move out I sure as hell don't expect him to have to live in a drug and scum infested neighborhood so that is why I'm thinking he will be moving out at an older age than whe me or my bro or sis did... none of which did college or the military... we fled the nest solely on work the way up the ladder jobs.

Well, he's only 20. Not even old enough to legally buy a beer yet. Plenty of time.

And he could afford to move out, he'd just have to put up with roommates and a lowered standard of living. Ramen noodles and drunks next door. We all did it, we all lived through it. I've never heard of a 20 year old being able to afford a nice house in a nice neighborhood. Usually you have to work awhile for that, not get it right out of the gate.

[kwillia]

Originally Posted by vraiblonde

Well, he's only 20. Not even old enough to legally buy a beer yet. Plenty of time.

And he could afford to move out, he'd just have to put up with roommates and a lowered standard of living. Ramen noodles and drunks next door. We all did it, we all lived through it. I've never heard of a 20 year old being able to afford a nice house in a nice neighborhood. Usually you have to work awhile for that, not get it right out of the gate.

I was out of my parents home by 19 so I am already feeling out of sorts by him being home at the age of 20...

[vraiblonde]

Originally Posted by kwillia

I was out of my parents home by 19 so I am already feeling out of sorts by him being home at the age of 20...

But did you move into your own house in a nice neighborhood with no roommates?

I think you're right that kids move out later in life than we did, but that's our fault, not theirs. We want them to have what we have right now, without them having to struggle on the way up. Son didn't really struggle (unless you count that getting shot at in Iraq thing), but daughter has and it's painful to watch. She's doing great now but watching her stumble and fall, pick herself back up, stumble, pick up, lather, rinse, repeat, was almost unbearable. Like watching them learn to walk and go down the slide without assistance. The urge to protect them is overwhelming.

Ugh. I'm getting an ulcer just remembering it and I am oh so glad it's over with.