Mean Mothers

[StrawberryGal]

I just got this email from my friend and I thought it would be nice to share with you forum parents!

FIFTH SUNDAY IN ORDINARY TIME

February 5, 2006

Dear Parishioners:

I was in the store the other day and saw that there are alot of cards and candy out for St. Valentine's Day. I also received this e-mail this week. It is a little early for a Valentine but as my Mom is already deceased I thought that maybe it might be good for all of us to think about this message and maybe say "Thanks for being a mean Mom" before it is too late.

Someday when my children are old enough to understand, I will tell them, as my Mean Mom told me:
I loved you enough... to ask where you were going, with whom, and what time you would be home.
I loved you enough to be silent and let you discover that your new best friend was a creep.
I loved you enough to make you go pay for the bubble gum you had taken and tell the clerk, "I stole this yesterday and want to pay for it."
I loved you enough to stand over you for two hours while you cleaned your room, a job that should have taken 15 minutes.
I loved you enough to let you assume the responsibility for your actions even when the penalties were so harsh they almost broke my heart.
But most of all, I loved you enough... to say NO when I knew you would hate me for it. Those were the most difficult battles of all. I'm glad I won them, because in the end you won, too.

Was your Mom mean? I know mine was. We had the meanest Mother in the whole world! While other kids ate candy for breakfast, we had to have cereal, eggs, and toast. When others had a Pepsi and a Twinkie for lunch, we had to eat sandwiches. And you can guess our mother fixed us a dinner that was different from what other kids had, too. Mother insisted on knowing where we were at all times. You'd think we were convicts in a prison. She had to know who our friends were, and what we were doing with them. She insisted that if we said we would be gone for an hour, we would be gone for an hour or less. We were ashamed to admit it, but she had the nerve to break the Child Labor Laws by making us work. We had to wash the dishes, make the beds, learn to cook, vacuum the floor, do laundry, and empty the trash and all sorts of cruel jobs. I think she would lie awake at night thinking of more things for us to do. She always insisted on u s telling the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth. By the time we were teenagers; she could read our minds and had eyes in the bakc of her head. Then, life was really tough! MOther wouldn't let our friends just honk the horn when they drove up. They had to come up to the door so she could meet them. While everyone else could date when they were 12 or 13, we had to wait until we were 16. Because of our mother we missed out on lots of things other kids experienced. NOne of us have ever been caught shoplifting, vandalizing other's property or ever arrested for any crime. It was all her fault. Now that we have left home, we are all educated, honest adults. We are doing our best to be mean parents just like Mom was. I think that is what's wrong with the world today. It just doesn't have enough mean moms!

Happy early St. Valentine's Day to all you "Mean Moms and Dads".

Affectionately,
Fr. O

[gumbo]

My favorite one is missing

I love you enough to beat your butt. Honey this is going to hurt me worst than it's going to hurt you.

[MysticalMom]

Great post! And it comes at a perfect time for me. Until very recently I was struggling with the question of whether or not I am TOO strict on my children. It seemed they were always mad at me for something I was making them do, or not letting them do etc. I hear I hate you come out their lips a lot.

So after taking a good hard look at myself and and my kids, I decided that yep, I AM strict. And maybe even too strict. But, and ESPECIALLY in todays society, if I want my children to grow up right I have to be "too" strict. I'm doing a damn fine job with my girls. They're good kids. Not like some of these disrespectful, irresponsible little ####s running around now a days.

And I'm not just saying that because I'm mom. They respect others and themselves. They make good choices and I'd like to think that's partly because they hear my nagging voice somewhere in their heads when they're deciding.

I AM the mean mom in this post. Maybe even meaner. It is important to me that my girls make good decisions and grow up to be educated, decent, responsible, honest, strong, independant women. If I'm tough on 'em it really IS for their own good.

So now..when they shout, "Mom, I hate you!" I can honestly reply, "GOOD! Then my job here is done!"

[camily]

My mom has always said that you have to love them enough to let them hate you. It's very true and one of the best pieces of advice I ever got.

[onebdzee]

OMG!....I just found out that I just might be one of the meanest moms in the world!

[onebdzee]

OK....my youngest just informed me that I am "the best dad in the whole world"

[Dougstermd]

Don't forget the mean fathers Too.

[MysticalMom]

Originally Posted by Dougstermd

Don't forget the mean fathers Too.

[Geek]

I watched my cousin get told for years that she was so beautiful, then as she got to be a teenager encouraged to wear tight shirts because she was not getting enough dates. She was told she couldn't handle a cash register, because she was too dumb. She is now 35 years old and smart but her life is a mess. She was encouraged in all the wrong ways, all emphasis on appearance and nothing on personality or education. It was crazy to watch. The girls in my family were told we could do anything we wanted, and it turns out, we can. "Mean" is good. One of the things that saved me from having to do questionable things growing up was "My dad would kill me" ~all my friends nodded because they knew how strict he was. I am going to be a lot stricter than my Dad. So they always have an excuse to do the right thing.

[StrawberryGal]

MysticalMom,

I am glad this post made you feel better! I know that it is hard to raise the children now these days without hearing these comments, "But all my friends' parents let them! Why can't I?"

I had a Mean Mom too when I was growing up. No matters what, I couldn't go to parties in high school because of "drugs, sex, and alcohols". Guess what, I am glad that my Mom was a mean Mom because she made a right choices. I would hear about the parties at school about how it was busted because of cops came and found so and so at the parties.

Also, I turned out just fine because of my Mean Mom!

Now, I will have to put up with my children when the time come. Your daughters will thank you for being a Mean Mom when they get older.

Here is the to keep your girls straight, so they will take good values and responsibilities with them when they move out of your house (to college, military, or whatever they decided to do with thier life after high school).