My neighbor kid

[vraiblonde]

There's this kid that lives two houses down from me. She's my middle daughter's age (13) and in fact the two girls were best pals until they got to be about 11 and the girl started taking a "different direction".

Here's the story:

Her Mom was a crackhead bad-news type. She already had the kid when she married T, who is not the girl's father and is another bad-news type. When they divorced, the Mom didn't want the girl and was going to abandon her so T adopted her and kept her with him.

T ended up marrying our neighbor gal, who has a very nice home and three very nice children. Why did she marry him? Good question - we're thinking self-esteem issues.

The girl has emotional problems, as you might imagine. Now she's tossed into this new environment and starts acting out - BIG TIME! Stealing, lying, running around, etc. This takes it's toll on K, who now is regretting that she agreed to take this kid on (not to mention the father). She has her own three kids to worry about and the girl's jealousies and problems are just too much for her. K has started drinking a good bit - I assume because she's unhappy. But she still won't dump the chump.

K's three children have a father who they see frequently (he just lives down the road) and they are great kids. The girl, on the other hand, has nobody except her street pals. She doesn't hang out with any of the "nice" kids because they won't have anything to do with her because of the lying, stealing, etc.

Recently the girl was busted for having cocaine at school. COCAINE! IN MIDDLE SCHOOL! So K and T's solution to the problem is to ship her off to live with her bio-Mom - who has had nothing to do with the child for years.

I'm upset about this. I know there's nothing I can do about it, but I just don't think disrupting the kid AGAIN is the answer to the problem. She needs love, stability and discipline, something she's not getting at home and certainly won't get with her bio-Mom. Larry won't let me adopt her because he's mean . But I understand his point, too. I just wish there was something I could do because I hate to see this kid fall through the cracks because nobody wants her.

So that's it - I just wanted to spew about this situation because I'm so upset by it. There's a part of me that's glad this kid is going because she's such a bad egg. But I still feel sorry for her and wish there was something I could do.

The kid is a lost cause, she'll be prego and addicted to god know what in no time.

Very sad!

[Sharon (Premo)]

Chances are that she was expelled from school and that could be the reason (among others) she was shipped off. Kids like that are a 24/7 day job and it sucks the life right out of you. Sadly, all the love in the world doesn't cure them. I saw plenty of kids like this when my daughter had her troubles and they all wanted to go home with me. They thought my girl was crazy for not loving us, when we had done so much for her.

[JabbaJawz]

What a tough situation. All 3 adults are to blame, in my opinion. The bio-mom has been worthless, and the father’s answer to solve the child’s problems it to kick her out of the house to live with a woman she barely knows. And K really should have thought about the implications of taking on her stepchild before she married T. Now, not only is the child still suffering, but everyone in her life is suffering too. K and T sound unstable themselves, but that still doesn’t make their solution to the problem the right one. It’s not fair to just make the child leave – even if she might ‘think’ she wants to at the moment (not sure if she wants to go or not). At any rate, I agree, Vrai, and think that uprooting the girl can’t possibly do her any good, and will only lead to more problems in her life. It’s such a shame, and the parents/stepparents behavior are probably making the girl feel unloved and unwanted – in turn, of course, causing her to act out. I really feel sad for her.

[vraiblonde]

Sharon, she wasn't expelled - they suspended her for a couple of days is all. It's probably a good thing that she's going, though, because the reason she only got suspended is because she ratted out her whole group of druggie friends. And we know how THAT'S going to go over.

It's not like she's got two loving parents at home like your daughter did, Sharon. But I've never dealt with a problem kid so I have stars in my eyes.

[browneyes]

It's sad about the girl, but one good thing, at least you don't have to worry about her being around your daughter.