07-02-2008, 07:53 AM
No Use for Donk Twits
Member Since: Jul 2005
Location: Costa Rica bound
Not as funny as Carlin but funny just the same
7 Words You Canít Say in Campaign 2008 But like those seven dirty words you canít say on TV ó including the FCC chairmanís top picks ó the culture of political correctness is swallowing more and more of our ďacceptableĒ lexicon. Especially in this oh-so-sensitive campaign season, consider the ďSeven Dirty Words You Canít Say in Campaign 2008″: Pundits and voters alike, beware the rap of the Politically Correct Commission!
- Swift boat: If you split the compound term, the words are completely innocuous. Swift is always good, especially in L.A. traffic. Boat brings about pleasant thoughts of sailing along the ocean blue. Until Somali pirates come aboard, of course. Swift boats are good, because they get you to your destination on time. But Swift boat ought not to be uttered in conjunction with Campaign 2008. People start to twitch. John Kerry turns shades of scarlet. Liberals sing of dirty tactics and stolen election. And now, it doesnít even have to do with a boat. Bring up dirt from the past? Aw, man, you Swift boated me! Who cares if you never even served on one?
- Experience: Jimi Hendrix once asked if you were experienced. Not necessarily stoned, but beautiful. The campaign connotation isnít quite so colorful. Itís just about experience, man. Do you press the button or not? Pakistani invasion? Why not? Whoís the president of Russia? Who said voters shouldnít give you a learnerís permit for running the country?
- Present: Not the good kind of present. Not the one wrapped in a bow or slammed onto a gift card. Itís the kind of noncommittal vote Ė the non-vote that only serves to confirm oneís existence on this Earth, or to denote that youíre simply a seat-warmer in the state Senate. With big ambitions. Big, big, big ambitions. So just donít vote. Donít leave a paper trail, a shiny ribbon of proof of what your views really are. Just vote present. Nobody will ever know the difference. Theyíll just think you were too busy. Your mind was too occupied with all the cool votes you actually plan to cast in the future. Really.
For the rest.... 7 Words You Canít Say in Campaign 2008
Admittedly, all of the above is a product of my deep-seated and virulent racism. /sarcasm
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