Not as funny as Carlin but funny just the same

[cwo_ghwebb]

7 Words You Can’t Say in Campaign 2008


But like those seven dirty words you can’t say on TV — including the FCC chairman’s top picks — the culture of political correctness is swallowing more and more of our “acceptable” lexicon. Especially in this oh-so-sensitive campaign season, consider the “Seven Dirty Words You Can’t Say in Campaign 2008″: Pundits and voters alike, beware the rap of the Politically Correct Commission!

• Swift boat: If you split the compound term, the words are completely innocuous. Swift is always good, especially in L.A. traffic. Boat brings about pleasant thoughts of sailing along the ocean blue. Until Somali pirates come aboard, of course. Swift boats are good, because they get you to your destination on time. But Swift boat ought not to be uttered in conjunction with Campaign 2008. People start to twitch. John Kerry turns shades of scarlet. Liberals sing of dirty tactics and stolen election. And now, it doesn’t even have to do with a boat. Bring up dirt from the past? Aw, man, you Swift boated me! Who cares if you never even served on one?

• Experience: Jimi Hendrix once asked if you were experienced. Not necessarily stoned, but beautiful. The campaign connotation isn’t quite so colorful. It’s just about experience, man. Do you press the button or not? Pakistani invasion? Why not? Who’s the president of Russia? Who said voters shouldn’t give you a learner’s permit for running the country?

• Present: Not the good kind of present. Not the one wrapped in a bow or slammed onto a gift card. It’s the kind of noncommittal vote – the non-vote that only serves to confirm one’s existence on this Earth, or to denote that you’re simply a seat-warmer in the state Senate. With big ambitions. Big, big, big ambitions. So just don’t vote. Don’t leave a paper trail, a shiny ribbon of proof of what your views really are. Just vote present. Nobody will ever know the difference. They’ll just think you were too busy. Your mind was too occupied with all the cool votes you actually plan to cast in the future. Really.

For the rest....

7 Words You Can’t Say in Campaign 2008

[RadioPatrol]

Change: Not loose change. Not climate change. Mysterious change, like Marky Mark and his Funky Bunch running from the wind through the willows in The Happening. Good change is like morning in America. Bad change sucks. It’s the word that sounds all juicy and hopeful, but can be a bigger letdown than the fourth Indiana Jones. The PCC chastises the chastising of candidates who liberally use this word without any explanation. Just feel good, man. And be present for that financing juggernaut.

[Nonno]

are the epitome of banality.

[cwo_ghwebb]

Sorry, didn't mean to piss on YOUR Messiah's halo.