Matthew 5:27-32 Adultry & Divorce

[hotcoffee]

Matthew 5
Adultery

27 “You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall not commit adultery.’[e] 28 But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart. 29 If your right eye causes you to stumble, gouge it out and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to be thrown into hell. 30 And if your right hand causes you to stumble, cut it off and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to go into hell.

Divorce

31 “It has been said, ‘Anyone who divorces his wife must give her a certificate of divorce.’[f] 32 But I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, makes her the victim of adultery, and anyone who marries a divorced woman commits adultery.

e. Matthew 5:27 Exodus 20:14
f. Matthew 5:31 Deut. 24:1

[hotcoffee]

Back when I was reading through the Bible and making comments here on one thread, I noted how women seemed to have no value. On first sight this seems to be another of those verses...

From the Ten Commandments we learn that adultery is sin. I think we all agree on that.

According to the law back in the days when Jesus walked the earth, women were not allowed to own property. So if a man left a woman, she really was left without home and hearth. She would forced to live with another man. Even today, if a woman leaves a marriage, she is very likely to become homeless.

These verses also remind me of a discussion that went on a few years back about just how strict we should be with the interpretation of these verses. If a man just looks at a woman, has he committed adultery. Some women are just stunning.... men can't help but look. I've seen some very handsome men in my life. Sometimes you just have to look. Some people are so amazing that it's like looking at nature at it's finest. Some religions require the wearing of a burka and keeping the eyes to the ground to avoid adultery.

I don't think Jesus was saying keep your eyes down or where a burka. In fact, I don't think Jesus was talking about adultery and divorce alone. In my opinion, a person who strives to live in the beatitudes would be more likely to deal with adultery or divorce as they would with murder. It would make more sense to me that Jesus was using these to teach another lesson.

Back in the late 60's I made a horrible a mistake. I married a man I should have never given a second glance. He was a horrible man. At the wedding ceremony I vowed to stay with this man for better or for worse. Three years into the marriage I learned things about him that no woman should ever have to learn. I stayed with him though because walking out was just not something I could do. I made a vow before God to stay with this man even if I could hate the things he did so much that I could grow to hate the man himself.

Then after a few years of marriage, I had children to consider. Splitting up a family would cause irreparable damage. I was stuck.

What was worse, the Christian life I had considered the norm was slowly slipping away. This man was so horrible, the nature of his sins were being absorbed into my life. Life no longer could be black and white, right or wrong. The lines were beginning to blur because in order to stay with this man, I had to allow some things that I would have never allowed had I never married him.

One thing I did demand, I would take my children to church. Even though they were all in diapers, I believed [and still do] that they needed to be in a place where they would hear the Word. I believed [and still do] even hearing the Word when they were too young to comprehend it... would guard them from harm and lead them to the Lord. I took my children to the little Baptist Church around the corner. It helped, I must add, that the man I was married to learned that if I went to church, the church would give us food and clothes. He didn't like to work, so this was the key to his allowing me to go.

The Baptist Minister only visited my home once. Once was enough though. He planted a seed that later saved me and my children. He asked me why I stayed in this marriage that he could plainly see was leading me a way from the Lord. I told the preacher that in the Sermon on the Mount Jesus said I had to stay. The preacher pointed out other verses in the Bible that seemed to change the meaning of these verses. [we'll get to them later if we continue to read].

I learned that if staying would put the faith of my children in jeopardy. I learned that I should consider leaving. It took several more years for me to make the move, babies in diapers and having nowhere to go tends to slow down a fresh start, but the seed and the advice were planted on fertile ground.

I was [and still am] committed to a relationship with the Lord. It was [and still is] important to me that my children enter a relationship with the Lord as well. To allow the man I married to come between the Lord and me [and my children] would be the same as adultery on my part.

I tried to explain this to my mother when I told her I was divorcing my first husband. The stigma of having the first child in the history of the family name to be divorced was something she never quite recovered from.... so I hope that I did a better job explaining it to you here.

So, getting back to these verses.... I believe that Jesus was saying, there is a higher law than the earthly vow to stay with someone for better or for worse. There comes a point when staying in a marriage or keeping an earthly vow may lead you away from the Lord.

Entering into a relationship with Jesus Christ is a commitment greater than any earthly vow.

[b23hqb]

Originally Posted by hotcoffee

Matthew 5
Adultery

27 “You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall not commit adultery.’[e] 28 But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart. 29 If your right eye causes you to stumble, gouge it out and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to be thrown into hell. 30 And if your right hand causes you to stumble, cut it off and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to go into hell.

Divorce

31 “It has been said, ‘Anyone who divorces his wife must give her a certificate of divorce.’[f] 32 But I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, makes her the victim of adultery, and anyone who marries a divorced woman commits adultery.

e. Matthew 5:27 Exodus 20:14
f. Matthew 5:31 Deut. 24:1

Those are tough verses, for sure. Your story in post 2 seems to be so typical of many marriages, especially for women, when they realize that the guy they married turns out to be a really bad husband.

On adultery - Jimmy Carter was a horrible president, and continues to be a worthless statesman, but he was right on one thing, during that interview he had with that magazine whose name escapes me (Playboy, maybe?).

When the question of adultery came up, Carter correctly stated that even thinking about committing the act in your heart and mind was a sin, just as Jesus said. Remember the ridicule he caught for that?

So every time we look at and are attracted to another person to the point of undressing and bedding them in our minds, is the same as committing the act itself.

On divorce (1 Cor 7:10-17) - is the best biblical guideline that i can think of.

God places a heavy and righteous burden on us to remain married. Except for adultery committed by the spouse, there is no justifiable reason, according to the Bible, for the offended spouse to demand or seek a divorce. Any divorce of that kind would be unjustified in the eyes of God.

However, any person that divorces for any other reason should remain unmarried, or else they would commit adultery again. More sin, more problems.

There are many, and I am one, that also believe that physical abuse by one spouse toward the other should be justifiable grounds to obtain a divorce, but the Bible does not specify that.

A very tough choice, for sure.

[Radiant1]

[27] See Exodus 20:14; Deut 5:18.

[29-30] No sacrifice is too great to avoid total destruction in Gehenna.

[31-32] See Deut 24:1-5. The Old Testament commandment that a bill of divorce be given to the woman assumes the legitimacy of divorce itself. It is this that Jesus denies. (Unless the marriage is unlawful): this "exceptive clause," as it is often called, occurs also in Matthew 19:9, where the Greek is slightly different. There are other sayings of Jesus about divorce that prohibit it absolutely (see Mark 10:11-12; Luke 16:18; cf 1 Cor 7:10, 11b), and most scholars agree that they represent the stand of Jesus. Matthew's "exceptive clauses" are understood by some as a modification of the absolute prohibition. It seems, however, that the unlawfulness that Matthew gives as a reason why a marriage must be broken refers to a situation peculiar to his community: the violation of Mosaic law forbidding marriage between persons of certain blood and/or legal relationship (Lev 18:6-18). Marriages of that sort were regarded as incest (porneia), but some rabbis allowed Gentile converts to Judaism who had contracted such marriages to remain in them. Matthew's "exceptive clause" is against such permissiveness for Gentile converts to Christianity; cf the similar prohibition of porneia in Acts 15:20, 29. In this interpretation, the clause constitutes no exception to the absolute prohibition of divorce when the marriage is lawful.

New American Bible Copyright © 1991, 1986, 1970 Confraternity of Christian Doctrine, Inc., Washington, DC. All rights reserved.

[hotcoffee]

Originally Posted by b23hqb

Those are tough verses, for sure. Your story in post 2 seems to be so typical of many marriages, especially for women, when they realize that the guy they married turns out to be a really bad husband.

On adultery - Jimmy Carter was a horrible president, and continues to be a worthless statesman, but he was right on one thing, during that interview he had with that magazine whose name escapes me (Playboy, maybe?).

When the question of adultery came up, Carter correctly stated that even thinking about committing the act in your heart and mind was a sin, just as Jesus said. Remember the ridicule he caught for that?

So every time we look at and are attracted to another person to the point of undressing and bedding them in our minds, is the same as committing the act itself.

On divorce (1 Cor 7:10-17) - is the best biblical guideline that i can think of.

God places a heavy and righteous burden on us to remain married. Except for adultery committed by the spouse, there is no justifiable reason, according to the Bible, for the offended spouse to demand or seek a divorce. Any divorce of that kind would be unjustified in the eyes of God.

However, any person that divorces for any other reason should remain unmarried, or else they would commit adultery again. More sin, more problems.

There are many, and I am one, that also believe that physical abuse by one spouse toward the other should be justifiable grounds to obtain a divorce, but the Bible does not specify that.

A very tough choice, for sure.

I remember the Jimmy Carter debates. The commentaries seemed to try to define the difference between looking and lusting. To look at someone is different than lusting. Is it a sin to just look at someone? I don't think so.

Synonyms for "look" include see - watch - view - seem - behold - eye - appear

Synonyms for "lust" include crave - hanker - desire - yearn - covet - thirst - long

Some people just don't take their vows serious. In Leviticus 27 God gave us laws concerning vows. A person is only as trustworthy as the vows they keep.

Marriage vows are particular important because in Marriage before God we are to become "one flesh".

Personally, I believe that the affect of the relationship between a person and the Lord should always be the deciding factor when it comes to make any life changing decision.

As we read on Jesus will discuss this again. Then the disciples will talk about marriage and divorce later in the New Testament.

[b23hqb]

Originally Posted by hotcoffee

I remember the Jimmy Carter debates. The commentaries seemed to try to define the difference between looking and lusting. To look at someone is different than lusting. Is it a sin to just look at someone? I don't think so.

Synonyms for "look" include see - watch - view - seem - behold - eye - appear

Synonyms for "lust" include crave - hanker - desire - yearn - covet - thirst - long

Some people just don't take their vows serious. In Leviticus 27 God gave us laws concerning vows. A person is only as trustworthy as the vows they keep.

Marriage vows are particular important because in Marriage before God we are to become "one flesh".

Personally, I believe that the affect of the relationship between a person and the Lord should always be the deciding factor when it comes to make any life changing decision.

As we read on Jesus will discuss this again. Then the disciples will talk about marriage and divorce later in the New Testament.

Looking is fine, that is why we have eyes. God wants us to enjoy seeing the beauty of his creations, including other people.

But my statement was not about looking, it's how one takes that look and moves beyond just seeing, which is what Carter was saying. My comment:

"So every time we look at and are attracted to another person to the point of undressing and bedding them in our minds, is the same as committing the act itself."

The Bible, especially in the NT from the words of Jesus and His teachings through his disciples, is very clear that divorce should not happen except concerning adultery. Even then, it is best to try and stay together if at all possible, because marriage is not just a vow between two people, but a vow in public in front of and to God.

Serious stuff, for sure.

[hotcoffee]

Originally Posted by Radiant1

[29-30] No sacrifice is too great to avoid total destruction in Gehenna.

I googled "the total destruction in Gehenna" and here's what I found

According to the "the answer bag"

In Jesus day, Gehenna was a garbage dump kept burning with sulfur that he used in some of his parables.

Going back to my divorce.... I can assure you that had I stayed in that marriage, my faith would have suffered and it would have been nearly impossible for my children to have come to a decision of faith in Jesus.

Once again, I have to say that in decisions as important as divorce... you have to use your relationship with the Lord Jesus Christ as your litmus test.

I think that's what Radiant1 is saying here... right?

[Radiant1]

Originally Posted by hotcoffee

I googled "the total destruction in Gehenna" and here's what I found

According to the "the answer bag"

In Jesus day, Gehenna was a garbage dump kept burning with sulfur that he used in some of his parables.

Going back to my divorce.... I can assure you that had I stayed in that marriage, my faith would have suffered and it would have been nearly impossible for my children to have come to a decision of faith in Jesus.

Once again, I have to say that in decisions as important as divorce... you have to use your relationship with the Lord Jesus Christ as your litmus test.

I think that's what Radiant1 is saying here... right?

My personal feelings, yes and no. I'll have to get back to this thread later and summarize what I think about Christian marriage and divorce. I just haven't had time as of yet, sorry.

[Zguy28]

Originally Posted by b23hqb

The Bible, especially in the NT from the words of Jesus and His teachings through his disciples, is very clear that divorce should not happen except concerning adultery. Even then, it is best to try and stay together if at all possible, because marriage is not just a vow between two people, but a vow in public in front of and to God.

Serious stuff, for sure.

Paul also says that it is allowed to divorce in case of abandonment or just if an unbelieving spouse wants to dissolve the marriage. It also seems like Paul's writing are not exhaustive there either.

Is divorce allowed in case of domestic violence? Its not in the NT.

[foodcritic]

Originally Posted by Zguy28

Paul also says that it is allowed to divorce in case of abandonment or just if an unbelieving spouse wants to dissolve the marriage. It also seems like Paul's writing are not exhaustive there either.

Is divorce allowed in case of domestic violence? Its not in the NT.

Could one argue that violence is an abandonment or unbelieving as part of the justification?