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|08-07-2003, 04:41 PM||#1|
Dirty Old Man in Training
Member Since: Jul 2003
20 things guys wish girls knew... (Cleaned up from a dirty 50)
1. If you want to cuddle after doing the deed, go buy a teddy bear.
2. Swallow. Don't start the race if you ain't gonna finish it.
3. If you ask us to any sort of dance that requires that we wear a tie, we expect a sexual favor in return.
4. If you use a vibrator and let us watch it might be the greatest moment of our life.
5. You masturbate and we know it. We just want you to let us watch.
6. Just cause we call you when we are drunk does not mean that we like you. It means that we need some.
7. Guys night out means guys night out. It doesn't mean that you and your friends meet us at the bar later.
8. If you wonder why your butt looks fat in those tight pants its because you have a fat butt.
9. If you are with us and you feel the need to cry for any reason just leave. Crying is Blackmail.
10. Don't think that we don't know that you only order a salad to make us think you eat healthy, and that you go home and order pizza with your friends later.
11. If we drink too much, we do not need someone to hold our hair back and act like our babysitter. We have puked before (and will again, and again, and again...) and know how to handle it.
12. We don't have a problem with watching chick flicks as long as we get in your pants afterwards.
13. While giving head don't be afraid to fondle testicles, they don't bite!
14. Doggy style'en.. there is no reason to turn around and look at us, we're focused on your butt cheeks and that slapping sound.
15. If we dance with you for more than 15 minutes at a bar we expect you to come home with us.
16. If you think that you are ugly, we probably do too.
17. If for some reason we do say we love you its only because we want to have sex immediately after we say it.
18. If you invite us over to watch a movie, it would be awesome if we watched a porn instead (what, its a movie!).
19. If you can't dance then you most likely suck in bed. So stop trying to dance and start having more sex.
20. You don't have to ask our permission to make out with another chick. Just do it and make sure we are there to watch.
Ok, We neuter and spay our pets, why don't we do the same for people who shouldn't be producing offspring? Let'em boff their brain's out, let'em adopt IF they would be good, CAPABLE parents, let'em CONTRIBUTE to society, but STOP them from be a detriment to society.
Ah, When I am King
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