Firm this up!

[mainman]

One morning while making breakfast, a man walked up to his wife and pinched her on the butt and said, "If you firmed this up, we could get rid of your control top pantyhose." While this was on the edge of intolerable, she kept silent.

The next morning, the man woke his wife with a pinch on each of her breasts and said "You know, if you firmed these up, we could get rid of your bra."

This was beyond a silent response, so she rolled over
and grabbed him by his unit. With a death grip in place, she said, "You know, if you firmed this up, we could get rid of the gardener, the postman, the poolman, and your brother."