A pregnant 22 year old

[Special_K44]

A pregnant 22 year old from London got pregnant from a one night stand. She didnt tell her parents and she didnt tell the one night stand. She opted to place the baby up for adoption. Should she have this right? Should she have told the father? Should the father have a say in the decision?

 

[terbear1225]

A pregnant 22 year old from London got pregnant from a one night stand. She didnt tell her parents and she didnt tell the one night stand. She opted to place the baby up for adoption. Should she have this right? Should she have told the father? Should the father have a say in the decision?

it's a tough call. the guy was aware of the potential consequence of his actions, if he made no effort to contact the girl after the one night stand, that to me would indicate that he did not care about the consequences and therefore should not necessarily havea say in whethr or not she keeps the child.

if, on the other hand, he made an effort to contact her and she deliberately kept the truth from him, than he should have the opportunity to request custody.

if he does not want custody for himself, that he shouldn't be able to force her to maintain custody and support the child.

 

[lulu belle]

if he does not want custody for himself, that he shouldn't be able to force her to maintain custody and support the child.

My thoughts are just that too!

 

[GSXR_MOE]

In a perfect world she should have at least told the father about the child... but she really has no obligation (moral or legal) to tell her Parents... I'm sure the father of the child would have liked to be included in the decision, but utlimatley it is up to the mother... If she doesn't want to tell the father of the child, the father will never know..

 

[godsbutterfly]

A pregnant 22 year old from London got pregnant from a one night stand. She didnt tell her parents and she didnt tell the one night stand. She opted to place the baby up for adoption. Should she have this right? Should she have told the father? Should the father have a say in the decision?

I could be wrong but I thought legally she had to at least try to find him before she could give the baby up for adoption because he had custody rights to the baby too.

 

[terbear1225]

I could be wrong but I thought legally she had to at least try to find him before she could give the baby up for adoption because he had custody rights to the baby too.

that makes sene, but waht constitutes "trying" to find him. in the case of a one night stand, full names might not have been exchanged much less phone numbers or email.

 

[Dymphna]

In a perfect world she should have at least told the father about the child... but she really has no obligation (moral or legal) to tell her Parents... I'm sure the father of the child would have liked to be included in the decision, but utlimatley it is up to the mother... If she doesn't want to tell the father of the child, the father will never know..

That is the law here, but this chickie is in England. Who knows what the law is there. :shrug:

From a moral standpoint if the sex was consensual (not rape) then he should be told in case he wants to claim the child for himself, but he's not allowed to stand in the way of the adoption if he doesn't want custody for himself. If chickie feels he'd be a bad father and the kid would be better off with an adoptive family, then the burden of proof is on her to show he's a loser.

 

[godsbutterfly]

that makes sene, but waht constitutes "trying" to find him. in the case of a one night stand, full names might not have been exchanged much less phone numbers or email.

I'm not sure, but I actually read a case awhile back where a convicted rapist sued for visitation rights after he served his time (the woman kept the child)and I think he got them but only under strict supervision so I would think the Adoption Agency would have to do something to make it legal - post notices in the paper or something. Like what I'm not sure. Something to the effect of "John who met Jane at such and such place on whatever date needs to contact her about legal matter regarding child born of encounter"?

 

[kom526]

That is the law here, but this chickie is in England. Who knows what the law is there. :shrug:

If chickie feels he'd be a bad father and the kid would be better off with an adoptive family, then the burden of proof is on her to show he's a loser.

Maybe she felt that she would be a bad mother and maybe she is the loser? Neither one of them acted responsibly on that one night.

 

[vegmom]

Maybe she does not know how to get in contact with him? I think she would still be obligated to legally provide what info she knows. But a one night stand- would she even know his last name?

 

[Dymphna]

Maybe she felt that she would be a bad mother and maybe she is the loser? Neither one of them acted responsibly on that one night.

That's fine for her to have that opinion of herself. It's probably a healthy thing for her and the child, but it doesn't change the fact that she probably doesn't know bebe-daddy well enough to say the same thing about him.

Ok, having a one-night stand isn't the brightest thing to do for either of them, and it's not a good sign of future parental responsibility, but it could have been a fluke on the dude's part and he's really a good guy...I wouldn't think so, but it could happen...he MIGHT have the potential and desire to be a good father and should have that opportunity if he wants it.

If the situation was reversed and chickie wanted to keep the child, would it be automatically assumed she would be a bad mother? It shouldn't be automatically assumed the guy would be a bad father. Maybe he'd want to keep the child. And if not, he should at least be asked to sign the papers giving the baby up for adoption...Can't you see it now, some mutual acquaintance of theirs tells him chickie had his kid and turns out he really, really wants to be a father to this child. What happens when he sues the adoptive parents for custody, based on the fact that no one told him about the baby. THAT's why it IS the law here, because in similar situations, guys sued and made their case that they have rights as a father.

 

[kwillia]

A pregnant 22 year old from London got pregnant from a one night stand. She didnt tell her parents and she didnt tell the one night stand. She opted to place the baby up for adoption. Should she have this right? Should she have told the father? Should the father have a say in the decision?

How would anyone know this ever happened if she doesn't disclose it... :shrug: If a tree falls in the woods where nobody hears it...does it make a sound?

 

[chernmax]

Maybe she should have thought all this sh!t through before bringing a new life into this world.

It takes 2 to make a baby, at least 1 of the 2 should have a brain!!!

 

[Special_K44]

My thought was maybe he was married and she didnt want to intrude or hurt his family. I think what she did by putting the baby up for adoption was most likely the best alternative but on the other hand - if she would have told the dad maybe he would have wanted to bei part of the babies life or even take custody of the baby. Or tell her parents they may have wanted to be part of the babies life.

 

[Dymphna]

Maybe she does not know how to get in contact with him? I think she would still be obligated to legally provide what info she knows. But a one night stand- would she even know his last name?

Used to work in Social Services. We were forever referring cases like that to child support enforcement to track these guys down...She needs to provide all the information she has, even if it's just a physical description. Also, where they met, who was there, who saw them together, who were the friends he was hanging out with and what do they look like. Where did they go to do the nasty? His apartment? (duh) His pick-up? What kind of a truck was it, make, model, license number, "Born to #### bumper sticker?

 

[Nicole_in_somd]

it's a tough call. the guy was aware of the potential consequence of his actions, if he made no effort to contact the girl after the one night stand, that to me would indicate that he did not care about the consequences and therefore should not necessarily havea say in whethr or not she keeps the child.

if, on the other hand, he made an effort to contact her and she deliberately kept the truth from him, than he should have the opportunity to request custody.

if he does not want custody for himself, that he shouldn't be able to force her to maintain custody and support the child.

I don't know. Maybe he thought the protection they used was fine. Maybe he had no idea. She should have told him. It is his child too. He does not have the right to force her to raise the child but certainly he should have the option of taking care of the child.

 

[kom526]

Maybe she should have thought all this sh!t through before bringing a new life into this world.

It takes 2 to make a baby, at least 1 of the 2 should have a brain!!!

Don't confuse the issue with your "logic"

 

[Chain729]

it's a tough call. the guy was aware of the potential consequence of his actions, if he made no effort to contact the girl after the one night stand, that to me would indicate that he did not care about the consequences and therefore should not necessarily havea say in whethr or not she keeps the child.

if, on the other hand, he made an effort to contact her and she deliberately kept the truth from him, than he should have the opportunity to request custody.

if he does not want custody for himself, that he shouldn't be able to force her to maintain custody and support the child.

Every guy that wakes up with a throbbing headache, laying next to a bar fly should call in a month or two just to see if she's pregnant.

 

[Dymphna]

Ok, I just read the article that this thread came from...

She knows who the father is...

The judges heard that the pregnancy resulted from a "one-night stand" with a colleague while both were "on the rebound having broken up with long-term partners".

"He is now back with his fiancee, continuing with that relationship and he has no idea she has given birth to his or any other child."

How would she know that he's back with his fiancee if she didn't know who he was?

But this statement is interesting...

"There is no basis for supposing that he could provide a home for E. . . The prospects of him being a long-term carer are too intangible to justify a delay in making a placement for E."

I'm taking that to mean that she DID prove to the court sufficiently that bebe-daddy is a loser and the child would be better off not knowing. Other parts of the article indicate that she also convinced the courts that her OWN parents were losers who had no business raising a child, because the court's original order was that her parents be told and investigated as potential caregivers for the child.

 

[Pete]

Another gross erosion of men's rights.