Christmas and Grown kids

R

rdkarob

New Member
What do you get your grown kid, who no longer lives at home?
I got him a gift card to Target, he emailed me a list of TV Series DVD which I will not buy, watch the reruns. So he proceeds to tell me that ok...for the gift card and anything else I would like to give (yep selfish) I tell him that he better get his sister (6) and brother (9) gifts in the mail asap. He says he wasn't planning on sending anything. My wife is so ticked at him and I am too he expects everyone to buy him things but doesn't want to return the "gesture"...the bothers mother (my ex) isn't sending anything...she said F-him...he sent her a list of things a mile long and when she told him that she couldn't afford all that, he had a screaming fit and hung up...yes immature.

What would you do? I already sent the card with the gift card and really have no problem with that but extra??? He was the only child for many years and was spoiled rotten, our fault for sure....
 
V

vbailey

vbailey
rdkarob said:
What do you get your grown kid, who no longer lives at home?
I got him a gift card to Target, he emailed me a list of TV Series DVD which I will not buy, watch the reruns. So he proceeds to tell me that ok...for the gift card and anything else I would like to give (yep selfish) I tell him that he better get his sister (6) and brother (9) gifts in the mail asap. He says he wasn't planning on sending anything. My wife is so ticked at him and I am too he expects everyone to buy him things but doesn't want to return the "gesture"...the bothers mother (my ex) isn't sending anything...she said F-him...he sent her a list of things a mile long and when she told him that she couldn't afford all that, he had a screaming fit and hung up...yes immature.

What would you do? I already sent the card with the gift card and really have no problem with that but extra??? He was the only child for many years and was spoiled rotten, our fault for sure....
Click to expand...

I have 4 grown children (18,21,21,23 ) we give them a small gift ($30-$50) to open and then give them a card with a $100 bill in it. We never expect any thing from them.....if they can afford to they do ( 2 of them are paying their own way to continue school ) We also do not expect them to buy gifts for each other, althought this yr my oldest has done just that, her first time doing it I think. I also have a 12yr old, he gets Santa gifts and if his brother and sister can afford a gift they will get him one..if not I don't think it matters to him..he just loves them no matter what. This is a his/hers/ours family . I just enjoy spending time with the kids, that is a gift in itself when they are so busy with work/school/friends.My biggest wish for this Christmas is to have all the kids together at the same time, the whole family together even if just for an hour.
 
Dye Tied

Dye Tied

Garden Variety Gnome
Since you already sent it, I'd call him an ungrateful wretch and not get him anything next year.



rdkarob said:
What do you get your grown kid, who no longer lives at home?
I got him a gift card to Target, he emailed me a list of TV Series DVD which I will not buy, watch the reruns. So he proceeds to tell me that ok...for the gift card and anything else I would like to give (yep selfish) I tell him that he better get his sister (6) and brother (9) gifts in the mail asap. He says he wasn't planning on sending anything. My wife is so ticked at him and I am too he expects everyone to buy him things but doesn't want to return the "gesture"...the bothers mother (my ex) isn't sending anything...she said F-him...he sent her a list of things a mile long and when she told him that she couldn't afford all that, he had a screaming fit and hung up...yes immature.

What would you do? I already sent the card with the gift card and really have no problem with that but extra??? He was the only child for many years and was spoiled rotten, our fault for sure....
Click to expand...
 
FemmePrincess

FemmePrincess

New Member
My parents give us $100.00 gift cards each and one personal gift. But I don't know if it is a boy thing, but my brothers are terrible. They don't get my parents much of anything. But always want alot. They are both over 30. I just don't understand :shrug:
 
B

bresamil

wandering aimlessly
Well....I think you've spoken of the son and the problems similar to this...his birthday I believe..

The card is gone. What's done is done there and they say that we are not to give with the expectation of receiving anything back. Yes, he is ungrateful but as he goes through life and has to meet his own obligations and challenges he will hopefully mature.

If his funds are limited and he cannot buy for anyone (this is an assumption as I don't know his financial situation), he could give the gift of himself - spend time, help with little chores, perhaps be there and take care of the younger kids one evening so the adults can have a nice evening out.

I don't think that's going to work out however, so I can only say that next time he demands something, remind him you are giving him the greatest gift of all - you love him in spite of his actions.
 
Cowgirl

Cowgirl

Well-Known Member
bresamil said:
Well....I think you've spoken of the son and the problems similar to this...his birthday I believe..
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:yeahthat: I thought this sounded familiar. He's acting like a spoiled rotten jerk. He isn't entitled to anything. Surely he should realize that Christmas should be focused on the younger siblings. He can't even send them a card? That's very selfish.

My parents usually get us a small gift....like under $30. This year we did a gift exchange though, so everyone is buying for only 1 person.
 
V

vbailey

vbailey
bresamil said:
Well....I think you've spoken of the son and the problems similar to this...his birthday I believe..

The card is gone. What's done is done there and they say that we are not to give with the expectation of receiving anything back. Yes, he is ungrateful but as he goes through life and has to meet his own obligations and challenges he will hopefully mature.

If his funds are limited and he cannot buy for anyone (this is an assumption as I don't know his financial situation), he could give the gift of himself - spend time, help with little chores, perhaps be there and take care of the younger kids one evening so the adults can have a nice evening out.

I don't think that's going to work out however, so I can only say that next time he demands something, remind him you are giving him the greatest gift of all - you love him in spite of his actions.
Click to expand...
Very well said...I think I would have to agree with this..
 
FemmePrincess

FemmePrincess

New Member
:smack:
rdkarob said:
What do you get your grown kid, who no longer lives at home?
I got him a gift card to Target, he emailed me a list of TV Series DVD which I will not buy, watch the reruns. So he proceeds to tell me that ok...for the gift card and anything else I would like to give (yep selfish) I tell him that he better get his sister (6) and brother (9) gifts in the mail asap. He says he wasn't planning on sending anything. My wife is so ticked at him and I am too he expects everyone to buy him things but doesn't want to return the "gesture"...the bothers mother (my ex) isn't sending anything...she said F-him...he sent her a list of things a mile long and when she told him that she couldn't afford all that, he had a screaming fit and hung up...yes immature.

What would you do? I already sent the card with the gift card and really have no problem with that but extra??? He was the only child for many years and was spoiled rotten, our fault for sure....
Click to expand...



:shrug: Maybe the Christmas Spirit will touch him and he will have a change of heart.... If not :smack:
 
Dymphna

Dymphna

Loyalty, Friendship, Love
Get a really nice fancy box, or maybe an empty electronics box of some sort, something that from the outside looks really cool and put a lump of coal in it.
 
sockgirl77

sockgirl77

Well-Known Member
My parents usually pay off a few of my small bills, add minutes to my cell, get me a WaWa card, a little cash, and put a few odds and ends under the tree. This year I'm getting Deceptively Delicious. Then, they spoil the kids rotten and buy them all of the toys that they do not need. This year I requested toy boxes for them to go in.
 
theArtistFormerlyKnownAs

theArtistFormerlyKnownAs

Well-Known Member
wow. you really shouldn't be buying him anything, unless he needs it maybe. Like, send him something you know his family (assuming he has one...like, wife/kids) will actually use instead of something he just WANTS. for god sakes tell him to grow up
 
theArtistFormerlyKnownAs

theArtistFormerlyKnownAs

Well-Known Member
Dymphna said:
Get a really nice fancy box, or maybe an empty electronics box of some sort, something that from the outside looks really cool and put a lump of coal in it.
Click to expand...

ha, i REALLY like that idea...but you'd still have to mail it right? I'm assuming he doesn't live close enough to hand deliver it?
 
Nanny Pam

Nanny Pam

************
sockgirl77 said:
My parents usually pay off a few of my small bills, add minutes to my cell, get me a WaWa card, a little cash, and put a few odds and ends under the tree. This year I'm getting Deceptively Delicious. Then, they spoil the kids rotten and buy them all of the toys that they do not need. This year I requested toy boxes for them to go in.
Click to expand...

Thats why my grandkids all get savings bonds for their birthdays & Christmas.

They get enough stuff from their parents. They play with it for 3 days and *POOF*

I've been doing this since they were born. Someday they will be handed a big pile of bonds and they will be very happy!
 
sockgirl77

sockgirl77

Well-Known Member
Nanny Pam said:
Thats why my grandkids all get savings bonds for their birthdays & Christmas.

They get enough stuff from their parents. They play with it for 3 days and *POOF*

I've been doing this since they were born. Someday they will be handed a big pile of bonds and they will be very happy!
Click to expand...

I keep telling my parents this. My son would rather play with the empty wrapping paper roll. My daughter prefers shreading the wrapping paper and plucking the lights off the tree.
 
Dye Tied

Dye Tied

Garden Variety Gnome
Nanny Pam said:
Thats why my grandkids all get savings bonds for their birthdays & Christmas.

They get enough stuff from their parents. They play with it for 3 days and *POOF*

I've been doing this since they were born. Someday they will be handed a big pile of bonds and they will be very happy!
Click to expand...

My family members and their kids all get cash to do with what they want. No way do I want to shop for 12 people. That's just my 2 son's and their families. I do get them some kind of family gift which is usually movie night stuff or Hickory farms
 
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